A Lawyer On A Plane Jokes

Following is our collection of germanwings humor and intercom one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include A Lawyer On A Plane puns for adults, dirty engines jokes or clean cockpit gags for kids.

There is an abundance of lifeboats jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 15 funniest jokes on a lawyer on a plane. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any pilot witze you can hear about a lawyer on a plane.

The Best jokes about A Lawyer On A Plane

On long plane trip, a woman is sitting next to a lawyer. She wants to sleep, but the lawyer does not stop talking...

*"Let's play a game"* - he suggests.


The woman ignores him.


*"To make it interesting"* - he continues - *"if I answer incorrectly to your question, I'll pay you $50. If you answer incorrectly to my question, you pay me $5."*


The woman agrees, and the lawyer asks the first question.


*"What is the distance between Earth and the Moon?"*


The woman hands him $5. Now it's her turn.


*"What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"*


The lawyer is astonished. He frantically surfs the Internet, searches his pocket encyclopedia and asks his scientist friends. He finds nothing. Hours later, when finally giving up looking for the answer, he wakes the woman, hands her $50 and asks:


*"So, what is the answer?"*


Without saying a word, she hands him $5 and goes back to sleep.




**

A blonde and a lawyer are on a plane.

The lawyer keeps trying to get a blonde to play a game with him. After awhile she finally agrees.The lawyer explains the game to her. He says that he will ask her a question and if she can't answer it she will give him $50.Then she will ask him a question and if he can't answer it he will give her $500. She agrees. He ask her to say the first seven prime numbers in order. She thinks for awhile then gives him $50.She then ask him what has no legs, three arms, and is covered in fur.He thinks for awhile then gives her $500.Curious he asks her what the answer is.She gives him $50.

A blonde and a lawyer

are sitting next to each other on a plane. To pass the time, the lawyer suggests playing a game that tests general knowledge. The blonde is reluctant, but finally agrees when the lawyer offers to give her 10 to 1 odds. "Every time you don't know the answer to one of my questions, you have to give me 5 dollars," he says "every time I don't know the answer to one of your questions, I have to give you 50."

The lawyer starts, "how far is the earth from the sun?" The blonde doesn't know. She gives him 5 dollars and the lawyer replies, "the earth is 92,960,000 miles from the sun."

The blonde asks the lawyer, "what goes up a hill with 3 legs, and comes back down with 4?" The lawyer thinks for a moment, but is unable to come up with an answer. He hands her a 50 dollar bill. The blonde takes it, puts it in her purse, and looks back at the lawyer.

"Well?" The lawyer asks, "what was the answer to your question?" Without saying a word, the blonde hands him 5 dollars.

A blonde and a lawyer are sitting next to each other on a plane

A blonde and a lawyer are sitting next to each other on a plane. The lawyer asks the blonde if she wants to play a game, "All you have to do is ask a question and if i get it wrong or don't know it i give you five dollars, then i ask you a question and if you get it wrong you pay me five dollars."

"No," she says, "I just want to sleep."

He keeps asking and she finally gives in when he says if he gets it wrong he will pay her five hundred dollars, but she still only has to pay five dollars.

"What is the distance from the earth to the moon?" he asks.

She gives him 5 dollars. "What goes up the hill with four legs and comes down with five?" she asks.

He pulls out his laptop and searches it, but finds nothing. Then he emails his friends. After an hour, he still hasn't got an answer, he hands her 500 dollars. Then he asks her, "So what is the answer?"

She hands him 5 dollars.

A school teacher with her class, a lawyer and priest were on a plane.

The pilot announces that they have lost power in the engine and that they will have to use parachutes to jump from the plane.

The teacher says "let the kids go first!"

The lawyer says "screw the kids!"

The priest asks "do we have time!?"


Blonde vs. Lawyer

A blonde sits next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him. After several minutes of arguing with her, he says you give me $5 for every question you cant answer and i'll give you $50 for every question i cant answer. The lawyer figured he couldnt lose and the blonde accepted.

The lawyer proceeded to ask his first question, "What's the distance between the earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

The blonde then asked her question, "What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down with three?"

The lawyer was searching his laptop for hours and calling everyone he knows to find the answer. Finally he gave up and handed the blonde $50.

After the plane landed, he decided to ask her the answer to her question.

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5

There is a plane with a Pilot, a Lawyer, a Priest and a Kid

The plane is going down fast but there are only three parachutes. so the pilot says "I have a family and a daughter that are expecting me" he grabs a parachute and jumps off the plane. The lawyer says "well I'm the smartest man on earth so I have to live" he grabs a parachute and jumps off. Now there is only one parachute left and the Priest tells the kid "Kid, take the last one, I have lived my life" The boy looks around the plane and says "We can both live" the priest says "how can that be?", the boy says "because the smartest man in the world just jumped off with my backpack"

A doctor a lawyer a priest, and a young boy are on a plane when the hits turbulence and is about to crash...

There are three parachutes between the four of them. The doctor says "Well I'm a doctor and I specialize in medicine and saving lives so I think I should live", the others agree and the doctor takes the first parachute and jumps out. The lawyer says "Well I'm a really smart man basically a genius so I think I should live too", so he grabs the second parachute and jumps out. Now its the last parachute between the priest and the little boy. The priest looks at the boy and says "You know what my child take the parachute, the good lord has blessed me my whole life and you still have your life ahead of you so save yourself and take the last parachute". The little boy says "No it's all right", the priest asks "Why?" and the boy replies "Because the genius just jumped out with my back pack".

A lawyer, a priest, and a scoutmaster with his troop

are on a plane. Suddenly the pilot has a heart attack and the plane begins to plummet.

The scoutmaster says, 'There aren't enough parachutes we must give them to the kids!'

The lawyer replies, 'Fuck the kids!'

The priest asks, 'Do you think there's time?'

Did you hear about the terrorists who hijacked a plane of lawyers?

They threatened to release one every hour til their demands were met.

A lawyer, a tax collector, a priest and a boyscout are on a plane.

The pilot comes over the intercom and tells the passengers that the plane will soon crash. The pilot says that there are three parachutes available. The lawyer immediately reaches for the first chute bag he sees and jumps out of the plane. The tax collector is next putting a pack on and jumping out. Now that the boyscout and the priest are the only two left in the plane, the boyscout turns to the priest and says "you can take the chute mister." The priest says "God bless you son, but I can't let you do that." The boyscout then says "no it's okay, the tax collector took my backpack."


A lawyer and a regular average Joe are on a plane together.

The pilot comes on the speaker and announces that the flight will take up to 16 hours. The lawyer turns to Joe and says, "Okay, I have a game we can play while we pass the time. You ask me any question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give you $50. Then, I get to ask you a question, any question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5." The average Joe says, "Okay, what has four legs going up a hill, and three legs at the bottom?" The lawyer thinks for a moment, then hands Joe $50 and says, "Wow, that was tough. I don't know, what does have four legs going up a hill and three legs at the bottom?" Joe then hands the lawyer $5 and says to him, "There's your $5."

There was a plane and it had 5 people in it: a president, a lawyer, a young teenage boy, a priest and a blonde girl. The plane driver said that the plane was going to crash so one of them has to jump off without a parachute because there was only 4 so they were talking to each other about who was going to jump off without a parachute. The president spoke first and he said " I run a part of this earth so I should get a parachute" so he jumped off with one. Then the blonde girl spoke and she said " I look beautiful so I should get one too" so she jumped off with one. The next person to speak was the lawyer and he said " I help people solve their problems so I should get one" so he jumped off with one. Now there was only two people left: a priest and the teenage boy. The priest said to the boy " here you take the last parachute and go because you will live a longer life then me" but then the boy said "no, it's all right because there is still 2 parachutes left. The blonde girl only took my backpack".

There was a plane and it had 5 people in it: a president, a lawyer, a young teenage boy, a priest and a blonde girl. The plane driver said that the plane was going to crash so one of them has to jump off without a parachute because there was only 4 so they were talking to each other about who was going to jump off without a parachute. The president spoke first and he said " I run a part of this earth so I should get a parachute" so he jumped off with one. Then the blonde girl spoke and she said " I look beautiful so I should get one too" so she jumped off with one. The next person to speak was the lawyer and he said " I help people solve their problems so I should get one" so he jumped off with one. Now there was only two people left: a priest and the teenage boy. The priest said to the boy " here you take the last parachute and go because you will live a longer life then me" but then the boy said "no, it's all right because there is still 2 parachutes left. The blonde girl only took my backpack".

A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes.
The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. He took a chute and jumped.
The priest looks and the young boy, and reflecting back on his life, told the young boy to take the last parachute since he had already
lived a wonderful and full life.
The boy replied, "You can have the other chute because the smartest man on this plane just jumped out with my bookbag!"

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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