A Horse Walks Into A Bar Jokes
101 a horse walks into a bar jokes and hilarious a horse walks into a bar puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about a horse walks into a bar that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest A Horse Walks Into A Bar Short Jokes
Short a horse walks into a bar jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The a horse walks into a bar humour may include short animal walks into a bar jokes also.
- Horse walks into a bar, bartender asks why the long face? Horse replies, The bank denied my home loan because I don't have stable income.
- A horse walks into a bar. Hey," says the bartender.
The horse neighs excitedly and says, My friend, you read my mind!" - A horse walks into a bar and requests "Hello, I'd like some anthropomorphization please" The bartender replies: "I think you've had enough already"
- A White Horse Walks Into a Bar A white horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we've got a cocktail named after you!". "What?", says the horse, "Steve?".
\-heard from Alan Davies on Q.I. - A horse walks into a bar... The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My alcoholism is destroying my family." - A horse walks into a bar Oh, sorry it was a woman. Let me start over.
A horse walks into a woman. - A Priest, a Rabbi, a Nun, two gorillas, a leopard, a horse, two turtles, and a dragonfly walk into a bar. Bartender yells, What is this, some sort of joke?
- A horse walks into a bar and orders a glass of coke. The bartender asks: "Would you like a straw"
"Yeah, straw, lots of straw". - A Centaur walks into a bar, and the bartender asks him "So, why the long face?" I'm half horse...the wrong half.
- A young horse walks into a bar Bartender says, Can I get you a drink? Horse replies, Neigh, I'm foal.
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A Horse Walks Into A Bar One Liners
Which a horse walks into a bar one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with a horse walks into a bar? I can suggest the ones about a woman walks into a bar and two guys walk into a bar.
- A horse walked into a bar
Bartender: Hey
Horse: Yes please - This never gets old A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face"
- A horse walks into a bar... And the bartender says to him "hey why the long face"
- A horse walks into a bar. This makes it lose the Worlds Dressage Championship.
- A horse walks into a bar. and comes in last place in the equestrian jumping event.
- A horse walks into a bar. "What's wrong with you?" The bartender shouts to its owner.
- A horse walks into a bar... Oh wait, it's just Sarah Jessica Parker. Sorry, my bad.
Hilarious A Horse Walks Into A Bar Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about a horse walks into a bar you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean three men walk into a bar jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make a horse walks into a bar pranks.
A horse walks into a bar
A horse walks into a bar. The other customers promptly get up and leave, seeing the potential danger in the situation
So a horse walks into a bar..
and a duck walks into a bar
and a buffalo walks into a bar
and a cucumber walks into a bar
and a tomato walks into a bar...
and the bartender says "Alright, what is this? Some kind of joke?"
A Tesco Burger, produced in Ireland walks into a bar.
A Tesco Burger, produced in Ireland walks into a bar..
He says to the barman 'Can I have a pint please?'
Barman says 'Sorry pal, didn't quite catch that, speak up a bit'
Burger says 'Sorry there, I'm a little bit horse'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a centaur walks into a bar
The bartender says, "Hey, how's the sore t**...?"
The centaur replies, "My t**... isn't horse but my legs are."
A white horse walks into a bar...
'Hello' said the barman, 'what can I get you?'
'I'll have a whisky if I may.'
'Certainly sir, which would you fancy?'
'Well, I'm not sure, what do you have?'
'Ah, let's see, we have Black & White or Cutty Sark - we even have one named after you sir.'
'Really? Eric?'
A horse walks in to a bar
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender is also a horse. Everyone human is a horse now. Our lives are simultaneously more and less complicated.
A mule walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The mule replies, "Well, my mother was a horse, of course, of course. And no one can talk to a horse, of course. Which eventually led to divorce, of course. Of which there was no recourse, of course.
So without my father but with my mute mother, it took quite a long time for me to discover...
...I can't have kids"
An professor from Cambridge and a Dubliner walk into a bar.
An professor from Cambridge and a Dubliner walk into a bar. The professor says to the Dubliner "If you can put the words defeat, defence and detail into one sentence I will buy you the finest beer you could ever ask for" so the Dub replies "De horse jumped ova da fence da feat came first and da tail came last"
New cowboy in town
There's this cowboy that rides into town on his horse and heads for the saloon. He ties his horse outside, walks in and starts drinking at the bar. Now the townsfolk have a thing for pulling pranks on out of towners so they hide his horse. He finishes drinking, pays his tab, walks out to see that his horse is missing, walking back inside all eyes are on him.
He says, "Now whoever took my horse, best that you return him. I don't want to do what I did in the last town. Trust me it wasn't good. Now i'm going to have one more beer and by the time i'm done with it my horse better be outside where it last was."
Now the townspeople get scared and quickly return the horse. As he's saddling up about to ride away the bartender a little curious goes outside and ask him what happened in the last town.
"I had to walk home." He replies.
Would be a million times better if i had the old western dialog in it but still one of my favorite jokes.
A horse walks into a bar
A horse walks into a bar and says "bartender, scotch on the rocks please!"
The bartender, rubbing his eyes in disbelief says "did.. did you just talk?!"
"Yes I have, why?" Said the horse
"It's just, incredible! I've never seen a talking horse! You know, you should really go talk to the local circus, they would LOVE to have someone with your skills!"
The horse replied "why? Are they short on electricians?"
A guy walks into a bar and finds a horse serving drinks
A guy walks into a bar and finds a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, What are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a horse tending bar before?
The guy says, It's not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.
A zebra walks into a bar...
He orders a drink and leaves. A few minutes later a horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "Hey man! What happened to your pajamas?"
A man walks out of a bar...
He realizes he must be drunk after having seen an Irishman, Englishman and a Scotsman drinking together, A horse, 2 chemists (one dead), a piano player, a dog, a monkey, an octopus, 007, an ostrich as well as a befuddled bartender tending to countless men walking into the bar...
Two cows one horse
So two cows and a horse walks into a bar. One cow says "moo," and horse yells, "baaaaaaa." What does the second cow say?
A horse walks into a bar in Area 51 and the bartender asks
[punchline has been deleted by the American Government]
A horse walks into a bar ..
.. as Miranda and Samantha were already waiting, Charlotte was running late.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks
Why do you look so sad and the horse says well i haven't gotten a bj in months the bartender says she will do it so she gets on her knees and starts s**... the horse off. The horse is so big she has to stretch her lips out as far as they can go Then the horse looks down and asks why the long face?
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender confuses jokes with idioms, and offers the horse water but can't make it drink.
A Priest, a Horse, Little Johnny, and the Easter Bunny Walk Into a Bar
The poor bartender doesn't know what to say.
A horse walked into a bar and ordered a beer.
At this point, I decided I'd probably had enough to drink for the night and called a taxi.
A horse walks into a bar
He saddles up to the counter.
The bartender asks
"Would you like a drink?"
The horse replies
"Neigh."
(I'm so sorry)
A Horse Walks into a Bar...
He approaches the bartender and says, "If there is a triangle with three sides labeled x, y, and z, and x and z are perpendicular to each other, which side is the hypotenuse?"
The bartender thinks for a moment, then replies, "Y, the long face."
A horse in a bar
A horse is standing at the bar when a man walks up to him.
"Why the long face?" he asked jokingly.
"I'm stage four terminal and my wife left me, taking everything with her."
A horse walks into a bar...
People begin to quickly, but calmly leave the bar as they realize the potential danger of the situation.
A priest....
A priest, an Irishman, a horse, a gorilla, a twelve inch pianist and an infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The bartender says "Is this some kind of a joke?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A horse walks into a bar...
The barman says "Why the long fac**e**?" The horse says "As an anthropomorphic horse, I fit in neith**e**r with humans nor my own kind, and have thus lived a life of lon**e**liness."
a cow and a horse walk into a bar and ordered their drinks. the bartender then asked "how are you paying? cash or card?"
to which both said mooneigh.
A horse and Sarah Jessica Parker walk into a bar...
...before the bartender says anything, the horse tells him:
'don't bother, she's heard it all before.'
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
"Because alcoholism has destroyed my life and my family. Let me get your rail whiskey."
Ten horses walk out of a bar. They see another horse getting mugged by a big scary dude in an alleyway. The horses are unsure if they should intervene. One brave horse says, "Let's put it to a vote! If you want to help him, say aye!"
They don't help him.
A horse walks into a bar....
and many people in the bar stand up to leave aware of the danger in the situation.
A horse walks into a bar
I'm sorry, typo, I meant BARN. A horse walks into a barn after a long day working the farm.
A horse, traveling salesman, atom, termite, and talking dog walked into a bar.
The bartender said "What is this, some kind of a joke?"
Another horse walks into a bar
The barman says "why the long face?"
and the horse replies "because my entire family were killed and served to customers in Subway.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife walked into a bar.
The bartender asked "Why the long face?"
Glaring at the bartender, my wife responded "That joke's for horses, you idiot."
"Yes, it is," the bartender replied.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, Why the long face?
I was born into servitude, and when I die, my feet will be turned into glue, replied the horse.
The bartender realized he would not be getting a tip.
A horse walks into a bar...
"1 whiskey" - says the horse
"Why the long face?" - the waiter asked
"My wife killed herself because of my alcoholism"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a farmer walks into a bar with a horse...
He says, "I will give any of you $1,000 if you can make my horse laugh."
A man yells, "I'll take that bet," and leads the horse into the men's room.
After a couple seconds, a loud braying laugh is heard from behind the door. The farmer screams to the man, "OK, I'll give you $2,000 if you can make my horse cry."
The man shouts, "You're on!"
After a few more seconds, the man exits with the horse trudging behind him with tears streaming down his long-snout. Flabbergasted, the farmer asks, "How did you do it?"
The man replies, "I said that my d**k was bigger than his and he laughed. Then I showed it to him."
A donkey walks into a bar....
A donkey walks into a bar.
"Where's the horse?" asks the barman.
"Recession," says the donkey.
So a horse walks into a bar and has a heart attack...
He gets rushed to the hospital and a friend comes to visit.
"is he okay?" The friend asks.
The doctor replies "He's in a stable condition."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A horse walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse screams, "I will end you!" And bites the bartender in the t**.... A priest, a nun, and a rabbi who were just approaching the entrance quietly turn and walk away as the horse shakes the bartender vigorously back and forth screaming, "why the floppy head?! Why the floppy head?!"
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
The horse says, "I just realized that I'm a metaphysical concept within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence."
A horse walks into a bar
The bartender asks "why...". The horse interrupts by "my boss called me a neighsayer in front of the whole company".
A horse walks into a bar.
It was about then the bartender decided he should seek help for his drug addiction.
A horse, a man, a talking dog and a twelve-inch pianist all walk into a bar
The barman says: "Is this meant to be some kind of joke?"
A pony walks into a bar
Says to the bartender Let me get one Apple martini
bartender leans in closer and says what?
Pony says one. Apple martini, please .
Bartender asks, something about a Bikini?
Pony starts to get a little frustrated but manages to say a little louder now ONE APPLE MARTINI
Bartender said oh! It's hard to hear you, you're a little horse
A guy walks into a bar and sees a horse behind the bar serving drinks
The man takes a seat at the bar, mouth wide open, stunned. The horse is interacting with customers, mixing drinks, taking meal orders, and giving change.
Finally the horse sees the man, and says What's the matter, buddy? Never seen a talking horse before?
The man says, No, it's not that. I just never thought the cow would sell the place.
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender sees the horse is upset. He asks, Why the long face?
The horse slaps him and says, Why does everyone make fun of me for having a long face!
The bartender replies, So thaaats why your upset
A horse and a duck walk into a bar...
The bartender asks "what can I get for you?"
The duck replies "something strong, my friend here has just broken up with his wife"
The bartender gets them something strong and the horse drinks it all in one. The horse then collapses on the floor
The duck, embarrassed and startled, attempts to leave the bar, but the bartender stops him.
"You can't leave that lyin' there" he says
And the duck replies "it's not a lion, it's a horse" then leaves
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A horse wearing l**... walked into a bar on Halloween
The bartender said "Why the long face?"
The horse said "shut up, I've heard enough of that kind of talk from the president!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A horse walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "Whoa! We don't serve your kind in here".
The horse asks, "You mean because I'm a horse?"
"No, because you're black"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A jew walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?"
The jew sighs and says, "the neo n**... killed my family and genetically grafted a horse to my face."
A horse walks into a bar and orders cola
The bartender: "with a straw?"
Horse: "a lot of straw"
So, a horse walks into a bar...
The bartender asks "Why the long face?" And ann coulter just flips her hair around while trying to remember when her parents told her she was pretty.
A horse, a dog, and a penguin walk into a bar.
The bartender says to the bouncer, "Seriously, Frankie, why are we even paying you?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One Day a Cowboy Rode into Town
He t**... his horse and entered a saloon
When he exited the saloon, he found his horse missing
The cowboy shouted, "I'm going to go inside for another drink, when I'm done, my horse better be returned. If not, I'll do what I did back in Texas."
The cowboy went back inside the bar, got a drink, and returned to find his horse.
As he saddled up, a man approached him and asked,
"Out of curiosity, what did you do back in Texas?"
The cowboy responded,
"I had to walk home."
P.S. Sorry
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A dinosaur, a spider, and a cowboy walk into a bar
All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. The bartender asks them what their troubles are.
The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. Cause a whole big e**... and blew my poor horse to bits." The spider nods sympathetically. "I just lost my husband in that same fire. The driver found him, freaked out, and crashed trying to squash my dear hubby."
The bartender is in shock, but finally asks the dinosaur his story.
The dinosaur sniffed, took a sip from his straw, and said "My whole family was on that truck"
A shy horse wants to go to the bar and have a drink.
But he does not want to be seen in public. So he puts on a a donkey mask. Wearing the donkey mask, the horse walks into the bar.
The Chinese bartender says, "Hey, why the wrong face?"
A horse walked into a bar...
The bartender said Dear God!
Animal Control was called shortly thereafter
Horse walks into a bar.
Bartender says "Why the long face?"
"Ha, ha, very funny," says the horse. "But I gotta say, today was not a good day. Injured my leg out, on the racetrack. My career's probably finished."
Bartender reaches under the bar, pulls out a gun, and shoots the horse.
Then he feels sorry for him, says "Tell ya what, buddy. That round is on the house."
A group of horses walks into a juice bar...
"What'll it be for ya?"
The first horse replies "wheat grass"
The barista says "that's not on the menu"
The second says "wheat grass, it's on the board"
The barista: of course you eat grass, you're horses. But I'm telling you we don't serve grass."
Sensing some confusion a third horse approaches. "Hey..." he says
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A horse walks into a bar
.. and just like that my Olympic Equestrian Show Jumping dream was over. Thanks a lot you s**... horse.
A horse walks into a bar
And orders a beer. The bartender looks confused but pours him a cold one:
- That'll be $25.
The horse opens his wallet, pays and start drinking. The bartender is still in awe and says:
- You see, we don't really have many horses coming in here.
To which the horse replies:
- With prices like these, I'm not surprised.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A cowboy walks into a bar
A cowboy walks into a bar a wips out his gun and said: "who stole my horse!?"
*silence*
"If the thief does not admit i will do what my father did when his horse got stolen"
o**... stands up and said: "what did your father did when his horse got stolen?"
The cowboy said: "he walked home"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, Why the long face?
The horse says, Because idiots keep eating up my dewormer medicine.
the horse
A veterinarian walks into a bar and orders a drink. He strikes up a conversation with the guy next to him, who asks what he does. "I'm a veterinarian," the vet says. "Really?" the guy asks. "Say, I own a horse and was wondering if you could help me." He pulls out his cell phone and call up a photo of a horse's head. "See his teeth? Can you tell me what's wrong?" "Sorry," the vet says, "I don't look a .gif horse in the mouth."
A horse walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "Why the long f--" when suddenly the horse cuts him off.
"I've heard that a million times. 'Why the long face, haha!" I hear that everywhere I go."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," says the bartender. "Other than that, how's your
life?"
The horse responds with, "Stable."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a cowboy parks his horse at the saloon, ties him to the outside, kisses him on the a**..., and walks in to have a stiff drink.
The bar keeper saw this happen, and he just had to ask. "Why'd ya kiss your horse on the a**... before coming in? You got s**... all over your lips!" The cowboy, cool as can be, takes a stiff drink before answering. "It's 'cuz I got chapped lips." The bartender was even more confused; "Horse manure helps with chapped lips?"
"Nah," says the cowboy. "But it keeps me from lickin' 'em"
A horse walks into a bar.
Bartender asks, Are you singing karoake tonight?
Horse replies, Neigh, I don't like being the centaur of attention.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A horse walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "I have AIDS."
A baton-twirling dancer walks into bar...
The bartender is delighted to see her.
"It's so good to see a fresh face It's so drab seeing the same lawyers and rabi's here! Like, can you get any more tired of the same setup?"
"I know!" replies the dancer, "I'm so sick of those overused..."
Just then, a horse walks into a bar. The bartender rolls his eyes and the dancer sighs and begins walking over to the horse, baton in hand.
"What are you doing?" asks the bartender.
The baton-twirling dancer turns, "I'm not entirely sure yet, but it looks like we're about to beat a dead horse."
