The Best 35 A Horse Walks Into A Bar Jokes

Following is our collection of funny A Horse Walks Into A Bar jokes. There are some a horse walks into a bar hopping jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these a horse walks into a bar riding horse puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest A Horse Walks Into A Bar Jokes and Puns

A horse walked into a bar



Bartender: Hey

Horse: Yes please

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint

The bartender says, " you're in here a lot. Do you think you might be an alcoholic? " The horse says, "I don't think I am, " and promptly vanishes from existence.

See, this was a joke about Descartes' famous philosophical statement, " I think, therefore I am." I could have mentioned that at the beginning, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies ~~I don't think I am"~~ "I think not!" POOF! The horse disappears.

A horse walks into a bar...

"Why the long face?" asks the bartender...
The horse replies, "I can no longer make ends meet based solely on the royalties from Sex in the City."

jokes about a horse walks into a bar

A horse walks into a bar, at which point the bartender asks if he's an alcoholic given all the bars he frequents.

I don't think I am. the horse replies.

*poof*

The horse disappears.

This is the moment where those who are into philosophy start to grin as they're familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito Ergo Sum , or I think, therefore I am .

But to explain that joke beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.


Horse walks into a bar, bartender asks why the long face?

Horse replies, The bank denied my home loan because I don't have stable income.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint.

The barkeeper says "you're in here pretty often. Think you might be an alcoholic?", to which the horse says "I don't think I am.", and vanishes from existence.

See, the joke is about Descartes' famous philosophy of 'I think therefor I am", but to explain that part before the rest of the joke would be to put Descartes before the horse.

A horse walks into a bar.

Hey," says the bartender.

The horse neighs excitedly and says, My friend, you read my mind!"

So a cowboy parks his horse at the saloon, ties him to the outside, kisses him on the ass, and walks in to have a stiff drink.

The bar keeper saw this happen, and he just had to ask. "Why'd ya kiss your horse on the ass before coming in? You got shit all over your lips!" The cowboy, cool as can be, takes a stiff drink before answering. "It's 'cuz I got chapped lips." The bartender was even more confused; "Horse manure helps with chapped lips?"

"Nah," says the cowboy. "But it keeps me from lickin' 'em"

A horse walks into a bar; the bartender asks, "Hello, do you want a beer?" The horse responds, "I think not," and promptly disappears.

Now, admittedly, this joke only makes sense if you are familiar with the French Enlightenment philosopher, Rene Descartes, who famously said, "I think, therefore I am." The horse thought not, and therefore wasn't...

But if I had explained that first, I would have been putting Descartes before da horse!

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint

The bartender says You know, you're in here pretty often, do you think you might be an alcoholic?
The horse says I don't think I am.. and promptly disappears from existence.

See this was a joke about Descarte's famous philosophy line I think therefore I am but if I had explained that before the rest of the joke I would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

You can explore a horse walks into a bar snickers candy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean a horse walks into a bar saloon dad jokes. There are also a horse walks into a bar puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A horse walks into a bar...

... and orders a pint. The bartender then says "You know, you're in here pretty often. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?"

The horse responds "I don't think I am..." and promptly vanishes from existence.



See, this was a joke about Descartes' famous line from philosophy: "I think, therefore I am." But if I had explained that before the rest of the joke, it would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

A horse walks into a bar and requests "Hello, I'd like some anthropomorphization please"

The bartender replies: "I think you've had enough already"

A Horse Walks into a Bar...

He approaches the bartender and says, "If there is a triangle with three sides labeled x, y, and z, and x and z are perpendicular to each other, which side is the hypotenuse?"

The bartender thinks for a moment, then replies, "Y, the long face."

A horse walks into a bar

A horse walks into a bar and says "bartender, scotch on the rocks please!"

The bartender, rubbing his eyes in disbelief says "did.. did you just talk?!"

"Yes I have, why?" Said the horse

"It's just, incredible! I've never seen a talking horse! You know, you should really go talk to the local circus, they would LOVE to have someone with your skills!"

The horse replied "why? Are they short on electricians?"

A horse walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse screams, "I will end you!" And bites the bartender in the throat. A priest, a nun, and a rabbi who were just approaching the entrance quietly turn and walk away as the horse shakes the bartender vigorously back and forth screaming, "why the floppy head?! Why the floppy head?!"

A horse walks into a bar...

... the bartender said "You're in here a lot, I think you may be an alcoholic." The horse replied, "I don't think I am", and vanished.

See, this is a play on Descartes famous line "I think, therefore I am". I would have explained this before the joke, but that would have been putting Descarte before the horse.

One Day a Cowboy Rode into Town

He tied up his horse and entered a saloon

When he exited the saloon, he found his horse missing

The cowboy shouted, "I'm going to go inside for another drink, when I'm done, my horse better be returned. If not, I'll do what I did back in Texas."

The cowboy went back inside the bar, got a drink, and returned to find his horse.

As he saddled up, a man approached him and asked,

"Out of curiosity, what did you do back in Texas?"

The cowboy responded,

"I had to walk home."

P.S. Sorry

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

The horse says, "I just realized that I'm a metaphysical concept within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence."


A horse walks into a bar...

The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

The horse replies, "My alcoholism is destroying my family."

A Horse walks into a bar

A horse walks into a bar and says to the barman "5 whiskeys please!" before downing the whole lot.

The barman looks at the horse and says "That's quite a stomach you've got, are you an alcoholic?"

The horse says "I don't think I am". Suddenly the horse poofs out of existence.

See the joke is a reference to Descartes the philosopher who coined the phrase "I think. Therefore I am." However explaining this prior to the joke would be putting Descartes before the horse.

A horse walks into a bar...

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Can I get you anything?" The horse replies "I think not," a promptly disappears.

If you don't get it, it's important to first understand that the French philosopher Descartes famously said, "I think, therefore I am." So when the horse said "I think not," then he could no longer be.

I guess I could have explained all of that before I told the joke, but that would be putting Descartes before the horse.

A dinosaur, a spider, and a cowboy walk into a bar

All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. The bartender asks them what their troubles are.
The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. Cause a whole big explosion and blew my poor horse to bits." The spider nods sympathetically. "I just lost my husband in that same fire. The driver found him, freaked out, and crashed trying to squash my dear hubby."
The bartender is in shock, but finally asks the dinosaur his story.
The dinosaur sniffed, took a sip from his straw, and said "My whole family was on that truck"

A cowboy walks into a bar

"I'd like twenty martinis in a bucket."

"Why?"

"My horse likes them."

"This I've got to see."

The bartender mixes them up and they walk out to the horse. The horse puts his muzzle in and slurps them down.

The bartender says, "That's the damnest thing I ever saw. Come back in and I'll give you one on the house."

The cowboy says, "Nah. Thanks, but I've got to drive."



One of my mom's favorite jokes.

Alcoholic Horse

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, you're in here a lot, are you an alcoholic?

The horse ponders for a minute and responds, I don't think I am , and poof he disappears.

This is where philosophy students start to snicker, as they are familiar with Descartes postulate, I think, therefore I am.

But telling you that first would be putting Descartes before the horse.

A horse walks into a bar

Oh, sorry it was a woman. Let me start over.

A horse walks into a woman.

A horse walks into a triangular bar of dimensions X,Y, and Z, where X and Z are perpendicular. He asks the barman where the toilets are.

"Y, the long face."

A horse walks into a bar and says, On a right-angled triangle with sides X, Y and Z, if X and Z are perpendicular, which side is opposite the right angle?

The bartender says, Y, the long face.

A man walks out of a bar...

He realizes he must be drunk after having seen an Irishman, Englishman and a Scotsman drinking together, A horse, 2 chemists (one dead), a piano player, a dog, a monkey, an octopus, 007, an ostrich as well as a befuddled bartender tending to countless men walking into the bar...


A horse walks into a bar...

...and the bartender says "are you feeling all right?" The horse replies,"I don't think I am," *POOF* the horse disappears. This is of course a joke referencing the famous quote "I think, therefore I am." I would have explained this ahead of time but I didn't want to put *Descartes* before the horse.

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says, " you're in here alot, are you an alcoholic?"

The horse ponders for a moment and responds " I don't think I am" and poof he disappears.

This is where philosophy students begin to snicker because they are familiar with Descartes postulate,
" I think therefore I am."

But telling you that first would be putting Descartes before the horse.

A horse walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

He finished it, and the bartender asks if he wants another one. The horse replies I think not and disappears.

This joke is normally told with Rene Descartes as the subject, but to tell you that one first is to put Descartes before the horse.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"

The horse, not being able to comprehend human language, shits on the floor and leaves.

A Horse walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "Hey!" The horse replies, "You read my mind!"


A horse walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a triple whisky."

The bartender says to the horse, Are you an alcoholic?

The horse replies, I don't think I am. The horse promptly vanishes into thin air.

Now, that joke was a play on the classic proposition Cogito ergo sum , or I think, therefore I am. If this was to be explained at the start of the joke though, it wouldn't work. It would be putting Descartes before the horse.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the a horse walks into a bar dawson city jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working a horse walks into a bar steed piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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