Walks Into A Bar Jokes
144 walks into a bar jokes and hilarious walks into a bar puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about walks into a bar that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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- Short Walks Into A Bar Jokes
- Walks Into A Bar One Liners
- A Woman Walks Into A Bar Jokes
- A Priest Walks Into A Bar Jokes
- A Horse Walks Into A Bar Jokes
- An Irishman Walks Into A Bar Jokes
- More Walks Into A Bar Jokes
Funniest Walks Into A Bar Short Jokes
Short walks into a bar jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The walks into a bar humour may include short a woman walks into a bar jokes also.
- A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem He tells the bartender,"Give me 2 shots of..."
The bartender cuts him off saying,"You only get 1 shot." - A weasel walks into a bar. The Bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
- A nihilist, a socialist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar and order drinks. "We don't sell alcohol to anyone under 18", says the bartender.
- Two deer walk out of a gay bar One turns and says to the other, "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks in there."
- Joke I made up: Caveman and a bear walk into a bar. Bartender says "what's your story?" Caveman says... bear with me...
- Two deer walk out of a gay bar One looks at the other and says, man, I blew like, twenty bucks in there!
- It's a five minute walk from my house to the bar. It's a 35 minute walk from the bar to my house. The difference is staggering.
- A blind man walks into a bar The bartender says "Oh hey! I haven't seen you in forever!" The blind man says "same"
- A boomer, a millennial and a zoomer walk into a bar That's right- Gen X just got ignored again.
- A lawyer, comedian and a war hero walk into a bar. The bartender says, what can I get for you, Mr Zelensky?
Credit to u/DrDerpberg
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Walks Into A Bar One Liners
Which walks into a bar one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with walks into a bar? I can suggest the ones about enters a bar and man walks into a pub.
- Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar You can't tell me that's just a coincidence .
- Cardi B and bill Cosby walk into a bar... I don't remember the rest.
- A horse walked into a bar
Bartender: Hey
horse: Yes please - 12 atoms of sodium walk into a bar. Followed by Batman.
- A racist, an anti-semite and a black man walk into a bar Hey Kanye!
- An irish guy walks out of a bar.... It could happen.
- A Jake Paul fan walked into a bar and got kicked out for being 10.
- The director of EA walks into a bar *Download the punchline for only 4.99*
- The bartender said we don't serve time travellers. Two men walk into a bar.
- Snake walks into a bar. And the bartender says ''How did you do that?''
- An Apple fan walks into a bar.... Orders the same drink as yesterday, but pays more.
- So this Limbo Champion walks into a bar... and was immediately disqualified.
- A termite walks into a pub and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
- A feminist and a Muslim walk into a bar. - comedy removed due to complaints -
- An ego and a superego walk into a bar. The bartender says "I'll have to see some id"
A Woman Walks Into A Bar Jokes
Here is a list of funny a woman walks into a bar jokes and even better a woman walks into a bar puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A beautiful woman walks into a bar. "What'll it be?" asks the bartender. "I'll have a double entendre," she said... So he gave it to her.
- A woman walks into a bar... she asks the bartender for a double entendre,
so he gives it to her. - A senior citizen is sitting at a bar.. A young woman walks in and sits down a couple seats over. The old man gets up, shuffles over to her, leans over and asks "So, do I come here often?"
- A horse walks into a bar Oh, sorry it was a woman. Let me start over.
A horse walks into a woman. - An anti-vaxxer, an entitled woman, and a Karen walk into a bar She demands to speak to the manager
- A woman walks into a bar and says, "I'll have an entendre, in fact, make it a double" So he gave it to her.
- A woman walks into a bar... And the bartender says, "What'll it be, love?"
The woman replies, "I'll take a double entendre."
So he gave it to her. - A woman walks into a bar Bartender says, "That's funny, I was expecting a guy"
- A gay woman, a working class white guy, an old Jewish lady, a disabled man and a young black lady all walk into a bar. What a wonderful example of a well-integrated community.
- A woman walks into a bar and orders a drink called "Innuendo". So the barkeeper gives it to her.
A Priest Walks Into A Bar Jokes
Here is a list of funny a priest walks into a bar jokes and even better a priest walks into a bar puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit What can I get you to drink .
The rabbit says I have no idea, I'm only here because of autocorrect . - A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit "what'll ya have?" The rabbit replies, "I dunno... I'm just here because of autocorrect."
- An atheist a priest and a rabbit walk into a bar. And the rabbit says: Guys, I'm pretty sure I'm a typo.
- A priest, a rabbi, and a chicken walk into a bar. The bartender says "Nope! We don't do jokes here, get out!"
And the chicken says, "Come on guys, I know a place across the street." - A Priest a rabbit and a Minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit,what'll you have? The rabbit says" I don't know I'm only here because of auto correct".
- A racist, a sexist and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender says: "Hey Bill, drinking alone tonight?"
- A priest, a nun and some random dude walks into a bar They ask for a few coronas, hurricanes, and fireballs.
The bartender says "that'll be 2020" - A priest, a monk and a rabbit walk into a bar. "What'll ya have?" asks the bartender. "I don't know" says the rabbit. "I'm only here because of autocorrect".
- A rabbi, a priest, and an atheist walk into a bar. The bartender sees them and says, "What is this, a joke?!"
- A priest and a rabbit walk into a bar The bartender says "I think someone has made a typo here."
A Horse Walks Into A Bar Jokes
Here is a list of funny a horse walks into a bar jokes and even better a horse walks into a bar puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Horse walks into a bar, bartender asks why the long face? Horse replies, The bank denied my home loan because I don't have stable income.
- A horse walks into a bar. Hey," says the bartender.
The horse neighs excitedly and says, My friend, you read my mind!" - A horse walks into a bar and requests "Hello, I'd like some anthropomorphization please" The bartender replies: "I think you've had enough already"
- A White Horse Walks Into a Bar A white horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we've got a cocktail named after you!". "What?", says the horse, "Steve?".
\-heard from Alan Davies on Q.I. - A horse walks into a bar... The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My alcoholism is destroying my family." - A horse walks into a triangular bar of dimensions X,Y, and Z, where X and Z are perpendicular. He asks the barman where the toilets are. "Y, the long face."
- A horse walks into a bar and says, On a right-angled triangle with sides X, Y and Z, if X and Z are perpendicular, which side is opposite the right angle? The bartender says, Y, the long face.
- A horse walks into a bar "Hey" the bartender said, "Sure" said the horse
- A horse walked into a bar Bartender: Hey!
Horse: Sure - A Horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Hey!" The horse replies, "You read my mind!"
An Irishman Walks Into A Bar Jokes
Here is a list of funny an irishman walks into a bar jokes and even better an irishman walks into a bar puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar... An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar...
The Englishman wanted to go so they all had to leave. - An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Northern Irishman walk into a bar The Englishman wants to leave, so they all have to.
- An Englishman walks into a bar... There's usually a Scotsman, Irishman and Welshman too, but they're still at the Rugby World Cup.
- I have an Irish joke to tell. An Irishman walks out of a bar
- I want to see if this Irish joke translates An Irishman walks out of a bar.
- An Irishman walks out of a bar Nah, just kidding
- An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender turns to them and says... What is this, some kind of joke?
- An Irishman walks out of a bar Hey, it could happen...
- An Irishman walks into a bar .... An Irishman walks into a bar full of Englishmen. Looks around, and then says:
"Right, this looks like a fair fight." - An Irishman walks out of a bar.... That's the joke
Comical Walks Into A Bar Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about walks into a bar you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean animal walks into a bar jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make walks into a bar pranks.
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a crowded local bar, holding a p**... in his hand and yelling, I have a 45 caliber p**... here with seven rounds in the barrel plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife.
A voice from the other end of the bar called out, You'll need more ammo
Guy walks into a bar with a gun and snarls who had s**... with my wife!!!
A guy in the back replies
You don't have enough bullets
An underage weasel walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. I can't serve underage weasels."
The weasel says, "That's fine. I don't need something alcoholic. What else do you have?"
The bartender says "Oh, we have lots! We have water, pop, tea, coffee, smoothies. What would you like?"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
A man walks into a bar and sees 2 steaks hanging from the ceiling.
He sits down and orders a beer, and asks the bartender
"what's the deal with the steaks?"
"It's a competition. If you can jump up and slap both steaks at the same time, one with each hand, you win the bar. If you try and fail, though, you pay for everyone's drinks for the rest of the night"
The man sits and thinks it over, and a couple minutes later the bartender asks if he wants to have a go.
"Nah, the steaks are too high"
A man walks into a bar and says I'm here to drink my troubles away!
Well you've come to the right place. says the bartender, What'll it be?
The man replies One water please
Just a water??
Yeah, I have kidney stones.
A software tester walks into a bar
Backs into a bar.
Runs into a bar.
Crawls into a bar.
Dances into a bar.
Flies into a bar.
Jumps into a bar.
And orders:
a beer.
2 beers.
0 beers.
987654321 beers.
a lizard in a beer glass.
\-1 beer.
"qwertyuiop" beers.
Testing complete.
A regular customer walks into the bar and asks where the bathroom is.
The bar bursts into flames.
A software tester walks into a bar.
Runs into a bar.
Crawls into a bar.
Dances into a bar.
Flies into a bar.
Jumps into a bar.
And orders:
a beer.
2 beers.
0 beers.
99999999 beers.
a lizard in a beer glass.
\-1 beer.
"qwertyuiop" beers.
Testing complete.
A real customer walks into the bar and asks where the bathroom is.
The bar goes up in flames.
A software tester walks into a bar.
Runs into a bar.
Crawls into a bar.
Dances into a bar.
Flies into a bar.
Jumps into a bar.
And orders:
a beer.
2 beers.
0 beers.
99999999 beers.
a lizard in a beer glass.
\-1 beer.
"qwertyuiop" beers.
Testing complete.
A real customer walks into the bar and asks where the bathroom is.
The bar goes up in flames.
A man walks into a bar and downs three shots of whiskey.
The man loudly proclaims, "All lawyers are a**...!"
A big, burly man next to him at the bar turns around and says, "Take that back."
"Why? Are you a lawyer?"
"No, I'm an a**...."
A Guy walks into a bar
A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before the problems start!" He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, "Give me a beer before the problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Now the problems start!"
A cat walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "what'll you have?"
The cat says, "A shot of r**...."
The bartender pours the cat his drink.
The cat slowly pushes the shot off the table.
"Another."
a Scottish man walks into a bar in canada
He noticed there is an animal's head hanging on the wall and asked the bartender what is it
"A moose" replied the bartender
"Jesus christ! How big are the cats here?" Said the scot
A duck walks into a bar
He walks up to the bartender and asks
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No, and if you ask again, I'll nail your beak to the bar!"
"Got any nails?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
A horse walks into a bar...
and orders a beer.
As the bartender serves him, he looks at the horse and says "hey, why the long face, pal? Are you depressed?"
The horse ponders for a second, scratches his chin, and says "I don't think I am" - and promptly disappears.
See, this is a joke about Rene Descartes' famous statement, "I think, therefore I am." I could have mentioned this at the start of the joke, but that would be putting Descartes before the horse.
A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling.
The guy asks "what's this about?". the bartender replies, "well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone's drinks for the next hour. You want to have a go?" The guy replies, "No thanks, the steaks are too high."
A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint
The bartender says, " you're in here a lot. Do you think you might be an alcoholic? " The horse says, "I don't think I am, " and promptly vanishes from existence.
See, this was a joke about Descartes' famous philosophical statement, " I think, therefore I am." I could have mentioned that at the beginning, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
So a guy walks into a bar and orders a pint of less.
The bartender asks, "What's less?" The guy says "I don't know but the doctor told me I have to start drinking it."
A 60 year old billionaire walks into a bar with his gorgeous 25 year old wife
Friend: How did she marry you?
Billionaire: I lied about my age
Friend: You said 45?
Billionaire: No! I said 90!
A duck walks into a bar and asks the barman
Have you got any bread
Barman: no sorry
Duck: have you got any bread
Barman: no
Duck: have you got any bread
Barman: look I haven't got any bread and if you ask again I'm gonna nail your beak to the bar
Duck: got any nails?
Barman: no
Duck: got any bread?
A man walks into a bar and it's empty – it's just him and the bartender.
He sits down and orders a drink.
After a few seconds, he hears someone whisper, Pssst… I like your tie.
The man looks around but doesn't see anyone.
Pssst… that color looks nice on you.
He asks the bartender, Excuse me, but…are you speaking to me?
The bartender rolls his eyes and says, No, sorry about that. It's the peanuts… they're complimentary.
A horse walks into a bar.......
The bartender asks "hey, why the long face? Are you depressed?"
The horse ponders for a second, scratches his chin, and says "I don't think I am" and promptly disappears.
You see, this is a joke about Rene Descartes' famous statement "I think, therefore I am" and I could have mentioned this at the start of the joke, but *that would be putting Descartes before the horse*.
So the CEO of EA walks into a bar..
"I'll have a beer" he says, exasperated from the recent PR firestorm.
"That'll be $1" answers the barman.
"Woah" replies the CEO, "That's great value!"
"Sure is." the barman replies. "Would you like a glass with that?"
A bear walks into a bar.
The bartender asks whata ya have there big fella? The bear says " Give me a .........................................................beer." The bartender says" What's with the big pause?" The bear throws his arms up in the air and says " I DON'T KNOW I WAS BORN WITH THEM."
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies ~~I don't think I am"~~ "I think not!" p**...! The horse disappears.
A horse walks into a bar...
"Why the long face?" asks the bartender...
The horse replies, "I can no longer make ends meet based solely on the royalties from s**... in the City."
Small Head
A man with a very small head walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why is your head so small?"
He replies, "I was stuck on this island and there was nothing but beautiful women there who had never seen a man before. So I had s**... with all of them. Their leader, who was the most beautiful of all, had the power to grant anybody one wish, so I asked her to have s**... with me. She said she would grant me anything but that, so I said, "Would a little head be out of the question?"
A guy walks into a bar...
He sees 2 steaks nailed to the ceiling. He asks the bartender, "What's up with those two steaks?"
The bartender replies,
"if you can jump up and take those two steaks from the ceiling, I'll give you $1,000,000, if not, I'll cut your arms off."
The guy then replies,
"I won't do it, the stakes are too high."
A man walks into a bar and asks for the bill
The bartender looks confused and tells the man he didn't order anything.
The man says I know, but I own the zoo down the street. I heard about the time a grizzly bear, elephant, monkey, tiger, alligator,... walked into a bar. I'm here to pay for the damages.
Gordon Ramsay walks into a bar...
... and asks for a glass of water with ice. Once his drink is served, he looks at the bartender and asks: "What did you use to make the ice cubes?"
Bartender: "Water."
Ramsay: "Fresh?"
Bartender: "No, frozen."
Ramsay: "Oh for f**...'s sake."
A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.
He asks for a coke and a mango juice for his newt Tiny.
The bartender asks Why is he called Tiny?
And the man replies Because he's my newt!
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads...
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
h**...: $10.00
He checks his wallet and beckons to the s**... bartender.
"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
"Well, wash your hands," says the man. "I want a chicken sandwich!"
Jesus walks into a bar with his disciples...
"Thirteen glasses of water, please!", Jesus said to the barman, winking at the others...
A man walks into a bar and notices two fat women.
They had obviously been drinking a lot, and were speaking loudly with heavy accents. After an hour he becomes annoyed with the noise, walks over to them and asks, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but are you two ladies from Scotland?"
"Wales, you idiot!", shouts the fattest one.
"I'm sorry," he says. "Are you two whales from Scotland?"
A horse walks into a bar, at which point the bartender asks if he's an alcoholic given all the bars he frequents.
I don't think I am. the horse replies.
*p**...*
The horse disappears.
This is the moment where those who are into philosophy start to grin as they're familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito Ergo Sum , or I think, therefore I am .
But to explain that joke beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
A man walks into a bar
... and stays there my entire childhood.
A guy walks into a bar waving a p**...
He yells I've got a 7 round magazine and one in the chamber, now I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife!
A guy from the back of the room calls out you're gonna need more ammo!
A guy walks into a bar and sees a bunch of meat hanging on the wall.
He sits down and asks the bartender what the deal is with the meat. Bartender says the deal is if you want a free drink you gotta jump up and touch the meat but if you miss, you buy a round for the bar. The guy takes another look at the meat and the bartender asks if he's in. No, says the guy the steaks are too high.
A person with an art degree walks into a bar.
They then head behind the counter and start serving drinks.
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How you doing today?" the bartender asks. "Actually, earlier today I was feeling really down. Depressed even," the guy says. "But then I parked in a handicapped stall at the grocery store and then I had a bunch of complete strangers rally around me and tell me there was nothing wrong with me."
A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint.
The barkeeper says "you're in here pretty often. Think you might be an alcoholic?", to which the horse says "I don't think I am.", and vanishes from existence.
See, the joke is about Descartes' famous philosophy of 'I think therefor I am", but to explain that part before the rest of the joke would be to put Descartes before the horse.
So a man walks into a bar...
and never comes back for my entire childhood.
Where are you dad?
A guy walks into a bar and sees that there are dozens of cuts of meat hanging from the ceiling.
Confused, he asks the bartender why this is.
Well, it's a promotion we are running. If you can jump up and grab one, you get a free New York s**... dinner, on us! But, if you attempt to do so and miss, you gotta buy one for every person here instead.
The guy takes a moment to scan the bar, counting up the number of patrons in his head, before turning to the bartender and replying
Ah, no thanks. The steaks are too high.
———
Shout out to my dad for telling me this joke dozens of times throughout my life. It never fails to get a laugh outta a new crowd. Thanks Joe, you da best.
A man walks into a bar
and sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender what the deal was about:
"Anyone who can jump up and slap the meat earns free drinks for the rest of the night", the bartender answered. "But, if you miss you pay everyone else's drinks for the next hour. Would you like to try?"
The man thought about it for a moment, and then answers:
"Nah, the stakes are too high."
A guy walks into a bar, and orders a round. He hears a small voice say..
"You look nice today."
A few minutes later, it's that voice again, "That's a nice shirt."
The guy asks the bartender, "Who is that?"
Says the bartender, "It's the peanuts. They're complimentary!"
A deaf guy walks into a bar
The bartender says
Wine
A gal walks into a bar and orders a bottle of wine. After she downs most of the bottle she tries to get the bartender's attention. "I used to be grapes!" she announces loudly. "What?" the confused bartender asks. "I'm sorry," she apologizes. "That must have been the wine talking."
A horse walks into a bar; the bartender asks, "Hello, do you want a beer?" The horse responds, "I think not," and promptly disappears.
Now, admittedly, this joke only makes sense if you are familiar with the French Enlightenment philosopher, Rene Descartes, who famously said, "I think, therefore I am." The horse thought not, and therefore wasn't...
But if I had explained that first, I would have been putting Descartes before da horse!
A girl walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me a double entendre"
So he gave it to her.
Girls from England?
A guy walks into a bar and hears two women speaking in a British accent. He asks, "Are you ladies from England?" One says to him "No, it's Wales, you idiot!" So, then the guy says, "Okay, sorry. So, are you two whales from England?"
A German walks into a bar
and says, "can I have a martini please?"
"Dry?"
"No, just one."
A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint
The bartender says You know, you're in here pretty often, do you think you might be an alcoholic?
The horse says I don't think I am.. and promptly disappears from existence.
See this was a joke about Descarte's famous philosophy line I think therefore I am but if I had explained that before the rest of the joke I would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
A Roman walks into a bar..
..and asks for a dry martinus.
"Surely you mean a martini," asks the bartender.
"If I want a double I'll ask for it, you plebeian s**...," replies the roman.
A man using Apple maps walks into a bar
Or a pharmacy, or maybe a shoe store.
A Chinese guy walks into a bar...
A Chinese guy walks into a bar, and sits next to Jeff, and starts drinking his beer. Jeff asks him :
• My friend, do you know any martial arts, kung fu, karate or other stuff?
• Why do you ask, is it because i'm Chinese?
• No, it's because you are drinking my beer.
A woman walks into a bar...
A woman walks into a bar with her pet newt on her shoulder. She sits down on a stool and orders a beer. The barman looks at the woman and her newt and asks her, "What's his name?"
"Tiny." The woman replies.
"Why tiny?" The barman inquires.
"Because he's my newt."
The barman says Why the non-linear structure?
Quentin Tarantino walks into a bar.
A Neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender for the price of a drink
The bartender responds: "For you, no charge"
A libertarian walks into a bar. . .
The barman serves him t**... alcohol because there are no regulations.
He dies.
A duck walks into a bar...
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: No mate, this is a bar
Duck: Got any bread ?
Barman: No I've told you, we don't have bread here!
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: Look, if you ask me that again I'm going to nail your beak to the bar.
Duck: Got any nails?
Barman: No.
Duck: Got any bread?
A man walks into a bar and asks:
"Bartender, may I have a Less?"
To which the bartender says:
"I'm sorry sir, what did you want?"
"I would like to have a Less please."
The bartender then apologizes:
"I don't know this drink, sir, could you describe it to me?"
The man answers:
"Well... I don't really know, but my doctor told me to drink less."
A Buzzfeed writer walks into a bar...
You won't BELIEVE what they asked for!
A man walks into a bar sporting the worst haircut you've ever seen...
"Give me two shots of Jack Daniels," he says to the bartender. "One for me, and one for you."
"You know I don't drink on the job," the bartender says, pouring the man a shot.
Downing the drink, the man replies, "And that's why I like you better than my barber."
Pick a super power
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and starts chatting the bartender up. "If you could have any superpower which one would you want?" he asks the bartender. "Cold war Russia, I guess," the bartender replies.
A dog walks into a bar
The dog says, "Gimme a beer." The bartender says, "Wow! You can talk! You should get a job at the circus!" The dog says, "They're hiring electricians at the circus?"
A limbo champion walks into a bar
and loses his title.
A girl walks into a bar.
Says to the bartender, "I'd like a double entendre, please."
So he gives it to her.
A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says "I'll have a gin and...... tonic." The Bartender asks "Why the big pause?"
The Polar Bear replies, "I don't know, I've always had them."
But is it m**...?
A h**... detective walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Hey look at those birds outside," the bartender comments to him. "Did you know that a group of crows like that is called a m**...?" "Well you can't be sure that's a m**...," the detective says. "Unless there is probable caws."
An angry man with a gun walks into a bar and yells WHO HAD s**... WITH MY WIFE
A man sitting in the corner replies,
You won't have enough bullets
A horse walks into a bar...
... and orders a pint. The bartender then says "You know, you're in here pretty often. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?"
The horse responds "I don't think I am..." and promptly vanishes from existence.
See, this was a joke about Descartes' famous line from philosophy: "I think, therefore I am." But if I had explained that before the rest of the joke, it would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
Donald Trump walks into a bar
......
and set it lower
A guy walks into a bar, slumps into a chair, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "What's wrong, pal? You look down."
The guy sighs and says, "I am down. My wife is mad at me, and said she wouldn't talk to me for a whole month."
The bartender says, "Gee, that's too bad. When does that start?"
"Start? Today's the last day."
