chuck Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious chuck stories

What are the best Chuck puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Chuck? Well here is a complete list of Chuck dad jokes:

A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250.

A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Chucks house and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.'

Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'

Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.'

The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?

Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead horse!'

Chuck said, 'Sure I can, Watch me. I just won't tell any body he's dead.'

A month Later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead horse?'

Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars a piece and made a profit of $2495.'

The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'

Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his five dollars back.'

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A farmer had three daughters...

and each was going on a date one Friday night.

The first daughters date showed up "Hi I'm Freddy here to pick up Betty to eat spaghetti, is she ready?"

Betty left with Freddy.

The second daughters date showed up "Hey I'm Joe here to pick up Flo to go to the show, is she ready to go?"

Flo left with Joe.

The third daughters date showed up "Hello I'm Chuck-"

The farmer shot chuck.

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There were 3 Chinese men...

Han, Chan and Fan were planning on migrating to the USA.

They all wanted to assimilate as quickly as possible, so they decided to adopt more traditional American sounding names.

Han decided that he would be Huck.

Chan decided that he would be Chuck.

And Fan...well Fan decided that he`d stay in China.

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What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

My Favorite,
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number.

You pick up the wrong phone.

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There's 3 chinese brothers...

Bu, Chu, and Fu and they want to illgally sneak into America. So they decide to change their names to sound more American. Bu, changes his to Buck. Chu, changes his to Chuck. And Fu, got sent back to China.

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Chuck Norris is a wimp...

If he were really as badass as they say he is, he would walk in here right now and start slamming my face into the keybdilfvbasjklkjcbnacnbzcjkbs; fsidfbaa3048fhsdk;ufb fba'aspfj4hn4

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How many nuns can a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns?

Nun.

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Chinese Immigrants

Three Chinese brothers tried to migrate into America. The first brother was name Bu, the second was name Chu and the third was called Fu. Bu changed his name to Buck, Chu changed his name to Chuck and Fu got sent back to China.

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Chuck Norris

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris.ο»Ώ It was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar...

The bar says "Ow."

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Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

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What did Chuck Norris told his father when he left home for college?

You are the man of the house now.

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Chuck norris doesn't flush the toilet.

He scares the shit out of it.

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So I wrote some Chuck Norris jokes the other day...

The devil once sold his soul to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't speak, he thinks loudly.

New Orleans didn't flood because of a hurricane. Chuck Norris did a canon ball into the Gulf of Mexico.

Chuck Norris once punched the Tower of Pisa.

Chuck Norris doesn't fart, because nothing can escape Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris goes skydiving, the Earth uses a parachute.

When Chuck Norris takes a shower, the soap doesn't clean him. He cleans the soap.

Netflix marathons Chuck Norris.

If Chuck Norris stared at the sun too long, he wouldn't go blind. The sun would.

If Chuck Norris bit a vampire, the vampire would turn back into a human.

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Someone gave Chuck Norris the finger.

He still has it.

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Chuck Norris jokes, anyone who knows let me hear them.

When Chuck Norris left for college he told his dad, that he is the man in charge now.

Chuck Norris was 6 years old, when his friends went to his house to get him to play around, his mom told: Chuck Norris cant come right now he is busy shaving.

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3 men in a plane, one with a knife, one with a gun and one with a bomb.

The plane was about to crash so the pilot says we need to shed weight fast, you all need to chuck your luggage out. They comply. The plane stabilises and they land safely.

The guy that chucked the knife out the plane returns home and sees his mother sobbing. When he asks why she said "some madman chucked a knife from a plane and killed your father when he went to the toilet ". He remains silent.

The man with the gun decided to shed the bullets instead of the precious gun so he shot all his bullets. When he returns home he too sees his mother and crying and when he asks why she replys "some madman shot out of a plane and killed your father when he went to the toilet" he too remains silent.

The man that chucked the bomb out of the plane returns home and sees his mother laughing uncontrollably. When he asks why she said "your dad whent to the toilet, farted and blew up the house"

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Chuck Norris can kill a man in 52 different ways using only a ballpoint pen.

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Chuck Norris won an award today

Kanye West sat politely in his seat.

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The world didn't end today because...

Chuck Norris just bought a laptop with a 3 year warranty.

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Chuck Norris is a coward!

If that sucker was so brave as people say he would show up here right now and smash my head against my keybakwue hr<awjd <akreu<an<awlkuhnc<a kjdqw;eoim

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Chuck Norris and Superman

Chuck Norris and Superman fought each other on a bet. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.

(Submitted at the request of my 10 year-old son.)

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Chuch Norris filmed the making of the first camera.

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Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.

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Chuck Norris once had to go to court...the judge got life in prison.

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The Hulk is Green because he envys Chuck Norris.

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Once Chuck Norris attempted to punch through a brick wall, but the brick wall crumbled in fear.

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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

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Chuck Norris once broke wind so hard...

it couldn't be fixed.

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Got said, "Let there be light!"
Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."

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Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.

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The Highlander movie was actually based on Chuck Norris's life.
There can be only one.

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Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.

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Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.

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Chuck Norris built the never ending stairs.
Then he climbed it up.

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Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.

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Chuck Norris can make a snowman with sand.

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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars.

that's why there are no signs of life.

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The Roswell UFO crashed because Chuck thought it was a frisbee.

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Chuck Norris farted once.

He did it in the Sahara forest.

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Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

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Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.

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Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a Klondike bar.

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Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.

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Why does Chuck Norris have a beard?
A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?

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hen Chuck Norris goes fishing he stands at the edge of the water and says: "Don`t make me go in there to get you".

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Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.

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Chuck Norris's kill ratio on Call of Duty:Black Ops is infinity.

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Chuck Norris never bathes.
Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.

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CONCLUSION

You've red some of the best chuck jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 50 puns about chuck. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty chuck gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laugh? How do you make someone laugh? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter just like dad jokes. Some of these chuck jokes are funny and some are hilarious. With this collection it's easy to be a joker. Have fun and dig deeper into our archive.

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