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Chuck Jokes

192 chuck jokes and hilarious chuck puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about chuck that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud with woodchuck jokes featuring characters like Jill, Eddie, and Dan! From puns to silly humor, find the perfect chuck joke to share with friends. Get ready to have a good chuckle with these funny jokes!

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Funniest Chuck Short Jokes

Short chuck jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The chuck humour may include short cluck jokes also.

  1. Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today... And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
     
     
     
     
  2. Chuck Norris coronavirus joke Chuck Norris doesn't get Corona Virus.
    Coronavirus gets Chuck Norris.
  3. What's the best Chuck Norris joke you've ever heard? My personal favorite is: chuck norris was once bitten by a cobra snake. After 3 long days of suffering, the snake died
  4. Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 men. It exploded and killed 20 more. Then he threw the pin and killed 10 more men.
  5. Chuck Norris caught COVID-19 and the prognosis is not good. Anyone wanting to say goodbye to the virus should visit the hospital tonight.
    (Cr
  6. Chuck Norris Chuck Norris doesn't wear shoe to protect his feet from the ground...

    He wears them to protect the ground from his feet
  7. Chuck Norris actually died four years ago Death just hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.
  8. What's your favourite Chuck Norris joke? Let's start with one of my favs:
    "Chuck Norris' password is the last 9 digits of pi."
  9. What did Chuck Norris tell his father when he left for college? You're the man of the house now
  10. Chuck Norris joke, cause it's been a while Chuck Norris pull the pin in a grenade, threw it, killed 50 men, and then the grenade exploded.

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Chuck One Liners

Which chuck one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with chuck? I can suggest the ones about chick and chow.

  1. What did Chuck Norris do when his parachute failed to open? Brought it back for a refund.
  2. Once, Chuck Norris reached a point of no return…. …..and returned.
  3. Chuck Norris killed 50 enemy combatants with a grenade Then the grenade exploded.
  4. Chuck Norris called 911 And asked if they needed help.
  5. I just saw that Chuck Yeager has died ...and then I heard it a few seconds later
  6. Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people Then the grenade exploded.
  7. Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed twenty people. Then it exploded.
  8. Chuck Norris was shot today The bullet is in critical condition
  9. Chuck Norris killed 5 people with a sword Then 20 more without the sheath
  10. Just found out Chuck Norris had a cameo in Star Wars... he played The Force
  11. What is Jimmy McGill's favorite cut of meat? Chuck roast.
  12. If Chuck Norris hadn't existed... Chuck Norris would have invented him.
  13. Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday The virus is quarantined for two weeks
  14. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin And giraffes were born
  15. Chuck Norris had a nightmare The nightmare ran into its moms room crying

Chuck Norris Jokes

Here is a list of funny chuck norris jokes and even better chuck norris puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • They were going to name a street after Chuck Norris… Then they realized nobody can cross Chuck Norris and live.
  • Chuck Norris got ambushed by terrorists with a $5,000,000 ransom If the money wasn't paid within 24 hours, the terrorists would be beheaded
  • It's a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki
  • Superman once arm wrestled Chuck Norris loser had to wear their underwear outside their pants.
  • Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.
  • What is the difference between Chuck Norris and John Wick? Chuck Norris gets his revenge before you even think about killing his dog.
  • Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him So he tracked down nothing and killed it
  • When Chuck Norris updates Windows ...Microsoft accepts his terms and conditions
  • Chuck Norris's Daughter Lost her Virginity... He got it back.
  • Chuck Norris actually died 6 years ago. ...But the Grim Reaper still hasn't gotten up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris Roundhouse Jokes

Here is a list of funny chuck norris roundhouse jokes and even better chuck norris roundhouse puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
  • Chuck Norris once roundhouse kick the ocean. That's why we have tides now.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
  • What kind of house does Chuck Norris live in? A roundhouse.
  • Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people.
    They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
  • Chuck Norris got a new pair of shoes Roundhouse kicks
  • People say that time heals all wounds.
    They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
  • With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
  • Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
Chuck joke

Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick Jokes

Here is a list of funny chuck norris roundhouse kick jokes and even better chuck norris roundhouse kick puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
  • The creation of a perfect sphere became possible after Chuck Norris became enraged with a rubix cube and roundhouse kicked the corners off it.
  • Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
    Nobody would survive anyway.
  • If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
  • Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary.
    The definition of each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.
  • It is better to give than to receive.
    This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
  • My Prediction for the Mayweather Mcgregor fight.
    It becomes a Handicap Match against Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris ends it with a single roundhouse kick before the bell stops ringing.
  • It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
  • He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.
    He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
  • When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
    She is now known as Britney Spears.

Chuck Norris Beard Jokes

Here is a list of funny chuck norris beard jokes and even better chuck norris beard puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Chuck Norris They wanted to add Chuck Norris' face to Mount Rushmore, but the granite is not hard enough for his beard.
  • There were plans to have Chuck Norris's face on Mt. Rushmore Unfortunately, the plans had to be scrapped because the granite was too soft to make his beard.
  • A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
  • Why does Chuck Norris have a beard?
    A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
  • Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
  • Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
  • Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
  • Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
    They are used as bullet proof vests.
  • They wanted to add Chuck Norris's face to Mount Rushmore, but the granite is not hard enough for his beard.
  • Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man.
    When the last line is drawn, that man dies!

Wood Chuck Jokes

Here is a list of funny wood chuck jokes and even better wood chuck puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How much wood does a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck chuck could chuck wood? None because only beavers give a dam.
  • How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Not enough to save his family after the earthquake collapsed his house.
    RIP woodchuckers
  • Sally sells seashells down by the seashore. But that's just a front for Pied Piper's pickled peppers, shipped inside woodchuck chucked wood.
  • How much wood would a Jamaican mathematician chuck if a Jamaican mathematician would chuck wood? Log base tree often
    (Jamaican accent: log base 3 of 10)
  • How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you say it 5 times fast you might get an answer.
  • How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck looked like you? Woodchuck woodchuck none.
  • What would a woodchuck do if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Go chuck itself of course.
  • How much wood would a Japanese woodchuck chuck if a Japanese woodchuck could chuck wood? About an.....Okinawa.
  • The only difference between nunchucks and the legs of Chuck Norris is that wood eventually breaks.
  • Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
Chuck joke

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about chuck can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of chuck puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Uproarious Chuck Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about chuck you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean buck jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make chuck prank.

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

Reggie, Joe, and Chuck

There was once a farmer who had three teenage daughters. On prom night, a young boy rang his doorbell.
**Reggie:** My name's Reggie, I'm here to pick up Betty, we're going to go eat some spaghetti, is she ready?
He told his Betty that someone was there to pick her up and they left.
A while later, there someone else rang the doorbell.
**Joe:** My name's Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo, we're going to watch a show, is she ready to go?
So he told Flo and they left.
A bit later, there was yet another boy at his door. He said:
**Chuck:** My name's Chuck...
And the farmer shot him.

Chuck Norris is a wimp...

If he were really as badass as they say he is, he would walk in here right now and start slamming my face into the keybdilfvbasjklkjcbnacnbzcjkbs; fsidfbaa3048fhsdk;ufb fba'aspfj4hn4

SAN FRANCISCO MAN BECOMES FIRST AMERICAN TO GRASP SIGNIFICANCE OF SARCASM

Chuck Fullmer, 38, yesterday became the first American to get to grips
with the concept of sarcasm.

"It was weird" Fullmer said. "I was in London and like, talking to this guy
and it was raining and he pulled a face and said, "Great weather eh?"
and I thought - "Wait a minute, no way is it great weather".
Fullmer then realised that the other man's 'mistake' was in fact deliberate.
Fullmer, who is 39 next month and married with two children, aged 8 and 3,
plans to use sarcasm himself in future.
"I'm, like, using it all the time" he said.
"Last weekend I was grilling steaks and I burned them and I said
"Hey, great weather."

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number.

You pick up the wrong phone.

There were 3 Chinese men...

Han, Chan and Fan were planning on migrating to the USA.
They all wanted to assimilate as quickly as possible, so they decided to adopt more traditional American sounding names.
Han decided that he would be Huck.
Chan decided that he would be Chuck.
And Fan...well Fan decided that he`d stay in China.

A farmer had three daughters...

and each was going on a date one Friday night.
The first daughters date showed up "Hi I'm Freddy here to pick up Betty to eat spaghetti, is she ready?"
Betty left with Freddy.
The second daughters date showed up "Hey I'm Joe here to pick up Flo to go to the show, is she ready to go?"
Flo left with Joe.
The third daughters date showed up "Hello I'm Chuck-"
The farmer shot chuck.

What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

My Favorite,
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

There's 3 chinese brothers...

Bu, Chu, and Fu and they want to illgally sneak into America. So they decide to change their names to sound more American. Bu, changes his to Buck. Chu, changes his to Chuck. And Fu, got sent back to China.

It's Easter Sunday morning...

... and chubby Chuck has been chomping on Easter eggs all night. He decides that he simply can't eat one more Easter egg. So he plays a prank. He goes into the chicken coop and replaces every single egg the hens have laid with a brightly colored one. A few minutes later, the rooster walks in, sees all the colored eggs, then storms outside and kills the peacock.

Young Chuck

One fine old day, Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.'
Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'
Chuck said, 'Sure I can, watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with the dead donkey?'
Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00.'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'
Chuck now works on Wall Street.

Chuck Norris jokes

When Chuck Norris' code throws exceptions, it's across the room.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. And then the grenade exploded.
When Chuck Norris goes into a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Feel free to add more. Shamelessly stolen from the internet.

So there's this school play...

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger have to put on a play featuring their favorite musical composers. They each toil over who they will play, until the next day they meet.
Stallone goes first.
"I'll be Mozart"
Next up is Chuck Norris.
"I'll be Beethoven".
Happy that no one picked his composer, Arnold announces "I'll be Bach".

Three Chinese went to America..

Three Chinese named Chu, Bu, and Fu went to America.
Upon reaching there they decided to Americanise their names.
So Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck..
And Fu decided to return to China.

What do you get when you cross bruce lee and Chuck Norris?

Beat up.

Yet another Chuck Norris joke.

Chuck Norris caught all the Pokemon using a payphone.

A woman's three daughters are going out on dates...

"What are your date plans?", the mother asks the daughters.
"I'm going out with Pete; we are going to eat" says the first daughter.
"Great! have fun" says the mom
"I'm going with Lance. We are going to dance" says the second daughter.
"Have a ball!" says the mother
"I'm going out with Chuck" says the third daughter
"NO YOU'RE NOT" yells the mother

Chuck Norris got stabbed

The knife bled to death

Chuck Norris joke cause it's been a long time.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Four Chinese brothers....

...named Chu, Bu, Hu, and Fu decided to go to the United States of America. They had to Americanize their names in order to get a Visa... so Chu became CHUCK, Bu became BUCKS, HU became HUCK, and FU decided to remain in China...

A Chinese family of 5 decided to immigrate to the United States

Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu were told that in order to get a visa, they would have to Americanize their names.
Chu became Chuck.
Bu became Buck.
Hu became Huck.
Su and Fu decided to stay in China.

Why can't Chuck Norris complete forms and applications on the internet?

Because he can't bring himself to click the "submit" button.

Once, there was 3 chinese people who wanted to go to America.

Their names were Bu, Chu, and Fu. Since these names would sound awfully weird, Bu said, "I'll change me name to Buck, adding c**... to the end." Chu then said, "then I'll become Chuck." After a long pause, Fu said, "I guess I'll go back to China."

It's weird to me that the shortened version of Charles is "Chuck".

I mean, what the Farles is that about?

Chuck Norris has died.

He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.

A farmer has three daughters when they were finally allowed to date it went something like this.

First daughter..... Guy knocks on the door and says "Hi I'm Joe. I'm here to pick up Flo and take her to a show is she ready to go?" Second daughter.... Guy knocks on the door and says, "hi I'm Eddie I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going to eat spaghetti. Is she ready?" Third daughter.... Guy knocks on the door and says "hi my name is CHUCK!" Dad promptly slams the door!!!!

Chuck Norris once took a lie detector test

The machine confessed everything

Chuck Norris went to Mcdonalds

and the ice cream machine was working.

Chuck Norris got bitten by a King Cobra

And after 5 agonizing days of pain.
The cobra died

How many Push-Ups can Chuck Norris do?

All of them

I don't believe Chuck Norris is that great

Cuz if he was, he would show up right now, and slam my head all over my keasdhjaiosdcnhq09w8hjkoldq0i9 wdhj09qw daU9 10Q9WDJ09W3Q21JD QWD

How many nuns could a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns ?

Nun.

There once was a farmer with three daughters.

They were all going on their first date at the same time. The farmer, being protective of his daughters, grabbed a shotgun and stood by the door. The first guy came to the door and said
"Hi, my names Joe, I'm here for Flo, we are going to the show, is she ready too go?"
The farmer thought he was ok, so they went out.
The next boy came and said
"Hi, my names Kenny, I'm here for Benny, we are going to Denny's, is she ready?
The farmer thought he was ok too, so they went off. The last boy came and said
"Hi, my names Chuck-"
The farmer shot him in the chest.

Chuck Norris visited the v**... Islands.

Now they're just the Islands.

I gave Chuck Norris a gun, he killed 54 people.

Then I gave him some ammunition.

TIL: Chuck Norris died earlier this month

But the Grim Reaper hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris in my hometown....

...but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Three Chinese friends, Chu, Bu and Fu, decided to immigrate to the United States

In order to get their visas, they needed to change their names to something more American. Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck and Fu decided to travel back to China

A farmer has three daughters.

A boy knocks on the door and says "I'm Eddie and I'm here to take Betty for spaghetti."
The farmer calls Betty and she goes on her date with the young man.
Another boy knocks on the door and says to the farmer "I'm Joe and I'm here to take Flo to the show".
The farmer calls Flo downstairs and the two go to the show.
A third boy then knocks on the front door and says "I'm Chuck..." and the farmer shoots him.

How was the first giraffe made?

Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn

He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.

Four guys are hanging out.

One of them says, Hey, did you know 1 out of ever 4 guys is gay?
Larry says, I hope it's chuck because he's really cute.

Fu, Bu and Chu are three Chinese men.

One day, they decided to move to the USA.
They also decided to change their names, as to not be discriminated against.
Chu changed his name to Chuck.
Bu changed his name to Buck.
And Fu decided to go back to China.

Once Chuck Norris threw a knife in Call of Duty

And killed someone in Battlefield

Chuck Norris was abducted by aliens.

The aliens were never seen again.

Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby.

We know them today as Nagasaki and Hiroshima.

Chuck Norris Covid 19 joke

Chuck Norris drinks coronavirus for breakfast.

Chuck Norris tested positive for COVID-19.

The virus is now in quarantine for two weeks.

What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?

The Three-Hole Punch...

Chuck Noris went to a feminist rally...

He came back with his shirt ironed, holding a sandwich.

To reduce waste, our city has told food truck operators that they must donate all unsold items each night.

I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask....
How much food would a food truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?

Chuck Norris diagnosed with Covid-19

Coronavirus now in quarantine for 14 days

How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades?

By shaving with them.

Chuck Norris has a bear rug

No it's not dead it's just too scared to move

Chuck Norris caught COVID.

But then he felt bad, so he let it go.

Chuck Norris Joke

A priest, Jesus and Chuck Norris are on a sinking boat. Jesus starts to walk back to land. Chuck Norris does the same. The priest says "Lord, please let me walk on water", tries to walk but drowns. When Jesus and Chuck Norris got on land Jesus asked him "Shouldn't we have told him where the stones are"? And Chuck answered "Which stones"

Chuck Norris once visited Virginia

Now it's called just "ia"

Why did Chuck Norris cross the Road?

Well, the road wasn't going to cross Chuck Norris.

Mr. Chu, Du, and Fu were three friends from China that wanted to come to the US.

In order to get a visa, they were told they needed a more American name.
So, Chu became Chuck,
Du became Duck,
And Fu,
... well, Fu remained in China.

3 Chinese blokes apply for American visa.

They decide to use Americanized names for starting their new lives.
So, Chu became Chuck and got his Visa stamped.
Lu became Luck and also received his Visa.
Fu had to continue working in the p**... fields.

Why doesn't Chuck Norris tell jokes?

His punch lines are deadly.

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a restaurant, and Sylvester Stallone is like: "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."

Chuck says: "Don't you have any ideas?"
"Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"
That's when Arnold trows himself in the conversation and says: "That sounds like a great idea! Sylvester, you can be Mozart, and Chuck can be Beethoven!"
"And who will you be, Arnold?"
"I'll be Bach."

A father's three daughters were heading out of the house to go on dates

The first daughter said, I'm going out with Joe, and we're gonna see a show
The father said, A fine fella! Have fun my dear
The second daughter said, I'm going out with Pete, and we're gonna grab a bite to eat
Sounds wonderful! Have fun my dear
The third daughter said, I'm going out with Chuck, and we're gonna—
Oh no no no you don't young lady!! You march right back upstairs this instant!
~fin~

Chuck Norris and Superman had a fight

The loser had to wear their underpants on the outside

What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

**Chuck Norris is so tough he counted to infinity. Twice.**

Why are there no bridges named after Chuck Norris?

Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.

Chuck joke, Why are there no bridges named after Chuck Norris?

jokes about chuck

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these chuck jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.