9pm Jokes

Following is our collection of sexist puns and preface one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including 9pm jokes for adults, dirty wake jokes and clean 5am dad gags for kids.

The Best 9pm Puns

I saw two lesbians kissing in the park.

"There's a time and a place for that," I told my wife.

She said, "Yeah..."

I said, "It's 9pm and my house."

My wife told me she was coming home at 9pm but came back at 5pm and caught me with another girl

Should I forgive her for her lie ?

simple rule

Lady 1: "Why is your husband so punctual when returning home from work?"
Lady 2: "I made a simple rule: sex will begin at 9pm sharp, whether he is there or not."

Last night I really did sleep like a baby

I accidentally fell asleep and 9pm and woke up 4 hours later screaming.

A double bass player

A double bass player gets a call for a gig. Says he has to meet everyone else at the docks at 9pm. He's there waiting when he gets bashed on the head and knocked unconscious.

He wakes up ducked taped to his bass, floating in the harbour. After his first panic fades he looks around and notices several other players also ducked taped to their basses, bobbing in the water.

After a pause he yells out "Hey, do we get fed on this gig?"

"We did last year!" one answers.

Why don't women accept FaceTimes after 9PM?

Because their faces are reset back to factory settings

(I'll preface this by saying I'm not sexist)

But it's a well known fact that women never answer video calls after 9pm because their face has been restored to factory settings

What happens if you go to sleep at 9pm and wake at 5am

You have been working 9 to 5

Two ukrainian hitmen receive a job...

Two ukrainian hitmen receive a job to kill a new Russian. He was supposed to come around at 6pm, so they arrive there earlier to set up an ambush. At 9pm the
new Russian still has not shown up. So one hitman says to another, "I hope
he is ok''

There is an abundance of fact jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 9 funniest jokes and 9pm puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any receive witze you can hear about 9pm.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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