90yearold Jokes
8 90yearold jokes and hilarious 90yearold puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 90yearold that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Share These 90yearold Jokes With Friends
Gather Around for Fun 90yearold Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What is a good 90yearold joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Do 90-year-old men wear boxers or briefs?
Depends.
Three old farts talking
Three very elderly men are discussing their medical woes.
The 70-year-old says,
\- I have an awful time with my bladder. I have to go all the time, and sometimes it comes on pretty suddenly."
The 80-year-old says,
\- It's my bowels. Hardly any control at all. Always having to jam this walker to full speed."
The 90-year-old retorts,
\- I've got it all over you guys. Bladder works find, 7 AM like clockwork. Bowels at eight. Everything works like it order. Long pause;
\- I only wish I could wake up before noon.
My 90-year-old dad was giving a talk at our local library about his World War II experiences.
During the question-and-answer period, he was asked, How did you know the war was over?
He replied, They stopped shooting at me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Point Exactly
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun.
When he got to the Creek, he saw a b**... sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the b**... fell dead. What do you think of that?" The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that b**...."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
A 90-year-old golfer tells his wife that he is quitting the game.
"But why?" asks his wife.
"Well, it's my eyesight. I can't see where the ball goes after I hit it".
The wife says, "Listen, you can go with my brother Pete. He might be 103 years old but his eyesight is perfect."
He agrees and finds himself on the golf course with his brother-in-law. He takes aim and hits a powerful shot that speeds off like a jet. He looks at his brother-in-law and says: "Did you see that Pete?
His brother-in-law says, "Yes, I saw that perfectly.
The golfer says, "Well, where is it then?"
Pete responds, "I don't remember."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Saul, the Jewish Lottery Winner
So Saul, a 90-year-old Jew, wins the $300 million lottery. He's at the news conference to accept the check, and the reporters ask him if there's anyone he'd like to thank.
"Yes," he says solemnly. "I'd like to thank my brother Eli for lending me the $5 to buy the ticket, and my brother David for driving me to the Circle-K to buy the ticket.
"Lastly, I'd like to thank Adolph h**...."
The silence was sudden and complete; you could hear a pin drop.
Finally a reporter raises a shaky hand and asks, "D-did you j-just say you w-wanted to thank H-h**...?"
"Yes, of course," Saul replies.
"Whatever for?"
Rolling his sleeve up, Saul points to the inside of his forearm. "For the NUMBERS!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My point exactly.
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun.
When he got to the Creek, he saw a b**... sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the b**... fell dead. What do you think of that?" The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that b**...."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?
Larry replies, God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, p**...! The light goes on. When I'm done, p**...! The light goes off.
Wow, that's incredible, the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry's wife.
Bonnie, he says, Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and p**..., the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, p**..., the light goes off?
Oh sweet Jesus , exclaims Bonnie. He's peeing in the refrigerator again!
Share These 90yearold Jokes With Friends