90yearold Jokes
8 90yearold jokes and hilarious 90yearold puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 90yearold that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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What is a good 90yearold joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Do 90-year-old men wear boxers or briefs?
Depends.
Three old farts talking
Three very elderly men are discussing their medical woes.
The 70-year-old says,
\- I have an awful time with my bladder. I have to go all the time, and sometimes it comes on pretty suddenly."
The 80-year-old says,
\- It's my bowels. Hardly any control at all. Always having to jam this walker to full speed."
The 90-year-old retorts,
\- I've got it all over you guys. Bladder works find, 7 AM like clockwork. Bowels at eight. Everything works like it order. Long pause;
\- I only wish I could wake up before noon.
At the exact same time, there are two 35-year-old men on opposite sides of the earth.
One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers at the 85th floor.
The other is getting o**... s**... from an 90-year-old toothless woman.
They are both thinking the exact same thing... What are they both thinking?
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Don't look down.
At the exact same time, there are two 35-year-old men on opposite sides of the earth.
One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers at the 85th floor. The other is getting o**... s**... from an 90-year-old toothless woman. They are both thinking the exact same thing... What are they both thinking?
\* \* \* \* \* \* \* \* \* \* Don't look down.
One of my next-door neighbours is a 90-year-old man suffering from Alzheimer's.
Every single morning at 9 a.m. he knocks on my door and he asks me if I have seen his wife. Which means that every single morning at 9 a.m. I have to explain to a 90-year-old man suffering from Alzheimer's that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now, I've thought about moving. I've thought about not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it's worth it just to see the smile on his face.
My 90-year-old dad was giving a talk at our local library about his World War II experiences.
During the question-and-answer period, he was asked, How did you know the war was over?
He replied, They stopped shooting at me.
My Point Exactly
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun.
When he got to the Creek, he saw a b**... sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the b**... fell dead. What do you think of that?" The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that b**...."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
A 90-year-old golfer tells his wife that he is quitting the game.
"But why?" asks his wife.
"Well, it's my eyesight. I can't see where the ball goes after I hit it".
The wife says, "Listen, you can go with my brother Pete. He might be 103 years old but his eyesight is perfect."
He agrees and finds himself on the golf course with his brother-in-law. He takes aim and hits a powerful shot that speeds off like a jet. He looks at his brother-in-law and says: "Did you see that Pete?
His brother-in-law says, "Yes, I saw that perfectly.
The golfer says, "Well, where is it then?"
Pete responds, "I don't remember."
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