9 Inches Jokes

23 9 inches jokes and hilarious 9 inches puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 9 inches that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest 9 Inches Short Jokes

Short 9 inches jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 9 inches humour may include short number 9 jokes also.

  1. My dad told me that the future was in my hands Didn't know that the future was 9 inches long
  2. What's 9 inches long,pink, and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth Her miscarriage
  3. Trump should build the wall around 5 feet and 9 inches so americans can watch over it but the mexicans cant see them back
  4. My wife told me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt. I stuck it in her 3 times and punched her arm.
  5. If a butcher is 6 feet tall, wears size 9 shoes and has a 38 inch waist, what does he weigh? Meat.
  6. What's white and gives you a solid 9+ inches that gives you a workout every time? Snow Storms
  7. What's 9 inches long, pink, and women scream when you put in their mouth? Their miscarriage
  8. Is it true what every girls wants is 9 inches? Cos I'm not chopping 3 inches off for anybody!
  9. Just before my girlfriend and I had s**... for the first time... I told her I was gonna give her 9 inches. Just as long as she was willing to take 3 inch payments
  10. What's 9 inches long, purple, and I love to shove it down my girlfriend's t**...? Her miscarriage.

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9 Inches One Liners

Which 9 inches one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 9 inches? I can suggest the ones about 6 inches and 8 inch.

  1. Whats about 9 inches and makes a woman scream? Cot death.
  2. I'm hung like a baby boy. About 20 inches long, 14 inches around, weighs about 9 pounds.
  3. What's 9 inches long, has a purple head and makes women scream? Cot Death
  4. Why do they call it 9gag? Because it's like gagging on 9 inches.

9 Inches Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about 9 inches you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ninth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 9 inches pranks.


A man was sitting in a pub when all of a sudden the most beautiful woman ever walked up to the bar and sat down next to him. The man immediately asked her what the conditions would be to make her his wife. 'Three things' she said 'First you would need a huge house with a swimming pool, second an expensive car and third a 9 inch d**...'.
'Oh' the man replied 'The house wouldn't be a problem, nor would the car be, but I'm not taking three inches off my d**...!'

9 inches

Seeing a gorgeous woman sitting at the bar, my friend walks up to her and says "How about we go up to my room and I'll slip you nine inches?" The woman looks him up and down and says "I don't think you can get it up three times."

A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano...

He then pulls out a tiny bench and sets it in front of the piano. Finally he pulls out a 9 inch man, puts him on the bench and the tiny man begins to play the piano. Puzzled, the bartender asks the man what's going on. "There's a gypsy down the road granting wishes" replies the man. Immediately the bartender runs down the street and approaches the gypsy. "I wish for a million bucks" says the man. The gypsy tell him his wish will be granted shortly. As the bartender is returning to the bar a duck falls from the sky, then one hundred ducks, then one thousand, and finally one million ducks fall from the sky. Confused the bartender goes back into the bar and tells the man, "I wished for a million bucks and instead I received a million ducks, what went wrong?" The man replies: "And what do you think I wished for? A 9 inch pianist?"

A golfer is about to tee off

when his friend and a huge gorilla turn up . His friend asks if he would like to play 9 holes with his gorilla, intrigued, the guy agrees and he tees off, straight into the rough.The gorilla however hits a superb shot and lands it an inch from the hole, the golfer concedes the hole. Next hole, same thing, slices it into the rough, but the gorilla hits an amazing drive, less than a centimetre from the hole, the golfer once again concedes. This goes on until, intrigued once more, he asks his friend what the gorillas putting is like, "same as his driving" answers his friend.

Inside the paper bag

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag.
He sits down and places the bag on the counter.
The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.
The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about
9" high and sets him on the counter.
He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting
it on the counter as well.
He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench,
which he places in front of the piano.
The little man sits down at the piano, and starts playing a beautiful
Piece by Mozart!
"Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender.
The man responds by reaching into the paper bag.
This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and
says: "Here. Rub it."
So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke
and a beautiful genie is standing before him.
"I will grant you one wish... Just one wish... each person is only
allowed one!"
The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, "I want
A million bucks!"
A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed
by another duck, then another.
Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!
The bartender turns to the man and says, "Y'know, I think your
genie's' a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."
"No kidding!!" says the man, "do you really think I asked for a 9 inch Pianist?"