8yearold Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious 8yearold puns

Turned the tables on my 8-year-old son.

Son: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Me: I don't know; how many?

Son: Ten tickles.

Me: Yeah, but only the male octopus is ticklish.

Son: Huh?

Me: Yeah, the females are not ticklish at all; just the males. You know how you can tell if an octopus is a male octopus?

Son: No; how?

Me: Test tickles.

Son: ...

Son: ...that's inappropriate.

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Masturbating

An 8-year-old choir boy catches the priest masturbating.

He said, "What are you doing father?"

"It's called masturbating," the priest replied. "You'll be doing this soon."

"Why father?" he asked.

"Because my wrist is killing me," the priest replied.

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What kind of table is good for your health?

A vegetable!

This joke was made by adorable 8-year-old niece!

It wasn't. It was made by a 27 year old. Me. It was made by me.

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What kind of shoes do they wear in Holland?

Wooden shoe like me to tell you.

[Props to my 8-year-old daughter for this one]

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The two troublemakers

A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually.

So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.

The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"

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A couple wants to have sex but their son is in the house.

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie " with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities...

"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted.He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.

"An ambulance just drove by!"

"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out.

"Matt's riding a new bike!"

"Looks like the Sanders are moving!"

"Jason is on his skate board!"

After a few moments he announced... "The Coopers are having sex.
Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed.

Dad cautiously called out..."How do you know they're having sex?"
"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle."

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Afternoon Sex

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie" with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighbourhood activities.
There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
"An ambulance just drove by!"
"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out.
"Matt's riding a new bike!"
"Looks like the Sanders are moving!"
"Jason is on his skate board!"
After a few moments he announced, "The Coopers are having sex!!"
Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out,
"How do you know they're having sex?"
"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle."

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Clever 8-year olds

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie" with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities...

"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:

"An ambulance just drove by!"

"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out.

"Matt's riding a new bike!"

"Looks like the Sanders are moving!"

"Jason is on his skate board!"

After a few moments he announced...

"The Coopers are having sex!"

Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed.

Dad cautiously called out...

"How do you know they're having sex?"

"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle."

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My 8-year-old son made this joke yesterday:

"Dad, let's play some catch after you're back from the store buying cigarettes."

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Help my boy laugh through his urology appointment!

I need every (non-sexual) ball and dick joke you can think of. My 8-year-old is at a urology appointment and is nervous. I'm lightening the mood.

Stuff like what's the difference between a snow man and snow woman? Snow balls

Thanks in advance!

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Like father, almost like son.

Little 8-year-old Jimmy was getting ready for school in the morning, when he decided to go see what his dad was doing. He walked into his parents' room only to find that his dad wasn't quite dressed yet. He had his robe on, but it wasn't fastened and hung loose.


Little Jimmy glimpsed at his dad's penis and asked, "Daddy? What's that thing between your legs?"


Unashamed, his father answered, "Son, that's my penis. In fact, I'd say it's the perfect penis."


Little Jimmy exclaimed, "Oh okay, Dad" and ran off to the other room.


Later that morning while Little Jimmy and Little Susie were walking to school, Little Jimmy asks, "Hey Susie. Do you wanna see something cool?"


Little Susie nods approvingly and they both jump into the nearest bush. There, Little Jimmy pulls down his pants and points at his penis proudly.


Little Susie is in awe. "Wow! What is it?" she inquired.


Little Jimmy smiles and says, "Well, Susie. That's my penis. And in fact, if it was two inches shorter, it'd be the perfect penis."

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A guy is making out with a girl and things are going well...

When he thinks, "hey things are going my way quickly, so screw second base, I'm going for third."

He tries, but the girl backs off, and she says "wow, that's a little presumptuous don't you think?"

The man replies "Presumptuous? That's a pretty big word for an 8-year-old..."

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Two Muslim vampires are discussing the weather...

Vampire 1: It's really Sunni outside.

Vampire 2: Shiite!

Courtesy of my 8-year-old.

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My uncle once punched his 8-year-old daughter for cheating while playing cards.

My uncle once punched his 8-year-old daughter for cheating while playing cards.

*He takes strip poker very seriously.*

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What do you call a disembodied nose?

Nobody nose.

My 8-year-old niece claims she made this up. I have my doubts.

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Afternoon Sex when you have kids......

Afternoon Sex

Love what kids come up with...they know so much they are not
given credit for.

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie with
their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on
the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all
the neighborhood activities...


- "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he
shouted.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into
operation:
- "An ambulance just drove by!"
- "Looks like the Anderson s have company," he called out.
- "Matt's riding a new bike!"
- "Looks like the Sanders are moving!"
- "Jason is on his skate board!"

After a few moments he announced...
- "The Coopers are having sex."

Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed.

Dad cautiously called out..."How do you know they're
having sex?"

Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a
Popsicle."

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A man is out for a walk in the park with his 8-year-old son

when they happen to spot a pair of dogs fucking. The son asks "Daddy, what are those dogs doing?"

The mortified father struggles to think of an answer. "The, uh, dog on the other dog's back is tired," he says "And the dog in front is carrying him home."

"Aw, isn't that just typical, daddy?" says the kid. "You offer to help out and you end up getting fucked."

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What are the most funny 8yearold jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about 8yearold? Well, here are the best 8yearold dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and 8yearold pick up lines to share with friends.

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