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80yearold Jokes

12 80yearold jokes and hilarious 80yearold puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 80yearold that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest 80yearold Short Jokes

Short 80yearold jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 80yearold humour may include short felt jokes also.

  1. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO!
  2. Age is not an excuse. I just caught an 80-year-old man doing exercise down a hill. He was very acrobatic too, doing flips in his wheelchair.
  3. How do you get an 80-year-old woman to yell, "F**k"? You get another 80-year-old woman right next to her to yell, "Bingo!"

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80yearold One Liners

Which 80yearold one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 80yearold? I can suggest the ones about avid and bride.

  1. What does an 80-year-old person taste like? Depends.

80yearold joke, What does an 80-year-old person taste like?

Hilarious 80yearold Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about 80yearold you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hunter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 80yearold pranks.

Three old farts talking

Three very elderly men are discussing their medical woes.
The 70-year-old says,
\- I have an awful time with my bladder. I have to go all the time, and sometimes it comes on pretty suddenly."
The 80-year-old says,
\- It's my bowels. Hardly any control at all. Always having to jam this walker to full speed."
The 90-year-old retorts,
\- I've got it all over you guys. Bladder works find, 7 AM like clockwork. Bowels at eight. Everything works like it order. Long pause;
\- I only wish I could wake up before noon.

"There are three kinds of s**......"

"There's homosexual s**..., for people who have s**... at home, bisexual, for people who buy s**..., and there's t**...—that's me, I'll try anything!"
Credit to Francis, the 80-year-old, flamboyantly hilarious artist I met on the train yesterday morning.

Drop in

An 80-year-old man comes home and finds his 80-year-old wife doing a handstand, n**..., against a wall.
He asks, "What are you doing?"
She responds, "I know you can't get it up, but maybe you can drop in."

Spercomputer was asked to find an alternative to Clinton and Trump to save presidential election.

The computer picked up a 80-year-old one-legged man from mental hospital in Georgia.
When he was asked: "How could you be a better alternative? You are older than any of them, sicker than Clinton and even more insane than Trump?", he answered:
"Well, maybe because I'm honest about it"

An 80-year-old man goes to his doctor after undergoing a full body image testing and asks him "What is the result, Doc?"

The doctor asks him "What is your zodiac sign?" Though confused, he replies "Cancer, why?" The doctor turns his head to the man and says "what a coincidence!"

80 year old man visits the doctor.

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80-year-old says, "I've never felt better. I even have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considers his question for a minute and then begins. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime b**... sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'. Suddenly, two shots rang out and the b**... fell over dead. What do you think of that?"
The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that b**...."
The doctor replied "My point exactly."

Interview With An 80 Year Old Lady

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time.
The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it is like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.
"He's a f**... director," she answered.
"Interesting," the newsman thought.
He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.
She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.
After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a f**... director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."