Hilarious 80yearold Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
How do you get an 80-year-old woman to yell, "F**k"?
You get another 80-year-old woman right next to her to yell, "Bingo!"
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO!
Three old farts talking
Three very elderly men are discussing their medical woes.
The 70-year-old says,
\- I have an awful time with my bladder. I have to go all the time, and sometimes it comes on pretty suddenly."
The 80-year-old says,
\- It's my bowels. Hardly any control at all. Always having to jam this walker to full speed."
The 90-year-old retorts,
\- I've got it all over you guys. Bladder works find, 7 AM like clockwork. Bowels at eight. Everything works like it order. Long pause;
\- I only wish I could wake up before noon.
"There are three kinds of s**......"
"There's homosexual s**..., for people who have s**... at home, bisexual, for people who buy s**..., and there's t**...—that's me, I'll try anything!"
Credit to Francis, the 80-year-old, flamboyantly hilarious artist I met on the train yesterday morning.
Age is not an excuse. I just caught an 80-year-old man doing exercise down a hill.
He was very acrobatic too, doing flips in his wheelchair.
Drop in
An 80-year-old man comes home and finds his 80-year-old wife doing a handstand, n**..., against a wall.
He asks, "What are you doing?"
She responds, "I know you can't get it up, but maybe you can drop in."
Spercomputer was asked to find an alternative to Clinton and Trump to save presidential election.
The computer picked up a 80-year-old one-legged man from mental hospital in Georgia.
When he was asked: "How could you be a better alternative? You are older than any of them, sicker than Clinton and even more insane than Trump?", he answered:
"Well, maybe because I'm honest about it"
An 80-year-old man goes to his doctor after undergoing a full body image testing and asks him "What is the result, Doc?"
The doctor asks him "What is your zodiac sign?" Though confused, he replies "Cancer, why?" The doctor turns his head to the man and says "what a coincidence!"
