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8 Inch Jokes

69 8 inch jokes and hilarious 8 inch puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 8 inch that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest 8 Inch Short Jokes

Short 8 inch jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 8 inch humour may include short number 8 jokes also.

  1. Why are women so bad at parking? Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
  2. I got Grindr and Dominoes mixed up when I went to order Regardless there is an 8 inch meat feast on the way and I'm scared.
  3. Why can't women get close to the curb when they parallel park? Because they're constantly lied to about what 8 inches is.
  4. Snow in the forecast... ...and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, "Fat chance, with a face like that!"
  5. Winter... The only time of year when 8-12 inches is used to describe something white. (Up North)
  6. Why do women make such horrible capenters? Because for years men have telling them that |----------------| is 8 inches long.
  7. Why are women bad at parking? Because men have told them that this (*holds thumb and index finger 2 inches apart*) is 8 inches.
  8. I had a date with a six foot, eight inch drag queen I found on Craigslist. Boy was I disappointed when I discovered he was 6'8
  9. I was disappointed when it didn't snow on my wedding day... But I did get 8 inches on my honeymoon.
  10. Do you know why women can't read a tape measure? Because they've been told 6" inches is 8" all their lives.

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8 Inch One Liners

Which 8 inch one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 8 inch? I can suggest the ones about 6 inch and 12 inch.

  1. Why do women make bad engineers? Their whole lives they have been told 5 inches is 8
  2. Yo girl, I'm a meteorologist and... I predict around 8 inches tonight.
  3. They call me the weather man Because I say 8 inches, when I meant 2.
  4. Why does an elephant have 4 Feet? Because it would look ridiculous with 8 inches.
  5. HEADLINE: 8 INCHES TO MAKE JUNE WETTEST EVER Well June's a very lucky lady.
  6. You hear what they are calling Bruce Jenner's new TV show? "Cait Plus 8-inches."
  7. I gave her all 8 inches 2 inches at a time
  8. Whats 8 inches, long, hard and white? NOTHING!!
  9. Do you know how long it's been since I've had an e**...? About 8 inches.

8 Inch Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about 8 inch you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean 4 inch jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 8 inch pranks.

Snowy week.

One winter morning at breakfast a couple was listening to the radio. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." The wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10-12 inches of snow today, you will need to move your car to the odd-numbered side of the street so the snowplow can get through." So the wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week, while they were eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 12-14 inches of snow today and you must park..." Then the power went off! The wife was very upset. With a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street am I supposed to park on?"
With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, her husband said, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."

A woman takes a business trip...

A woman takes a business trip to Arizona for a week. On her first night there in the hotel, a b**... man comes in through her window and has passionate s**... with her all night long. The next night, the same thing happens. She asks the man for his name, but he says "No, you'll laugh at me". She promises she won't, but he leaves anyways. After continuing this for the whole week, the woman begs the man for his name. He says "Fine, as long as you promise not to laugh... My name is Snow". The woman laughs uncontrollably and he yells "See I knew you would!". She responds "No, I'm not laughing at you. It's just that my husband will never believe me when I tell him I got 8 inches of Snow in Phoenix"

What am I?

I am a common object enjoyed by both sexes, normally about 8 inches long, with little hairs on one end, and a hole in the other. For most of the day I am laying down, but I am ready for instant action. When in use, I move back and forth and in and out of a warm, moist hole. When the work is finally done, a white, slushy, sticky mush is left behind and I return to my original position. Cleaning is normally done after I have finished. What am I? Why, I am your very own toothbrush!

Snow wife.

One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park..." then the electric power goes out.
Bob's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

What happens when you predict snow but don't get any?

We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed
to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman
and asked:
'So Bobby, where's that 8 inches you
promised me last night?'

Why Are Firetrucks Red?

Firetrucks have 4 wheels and carry 8 men.
4 + 8 = 12
There are 12 inches in a ruler.
Queen Elizabeth was a ruler.
There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas.
Fish live in the seas.
Fish have fins.
People from Finland are called Fins.
Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago.
Russia has red on its flag.
And that's why they're red.
Cause they're always *russian* around.

Winter weather emergency

On a bitterly cold winter's morning a husband and wife in the back woods of Minnesota were listening to the radio during breakfast.
They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so snow plows can get through conveniently".
So the good wife went out and moved her car as instructed.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow plows can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast when the radio
announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." And the power goes off.
The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow plows can get through?"
With all the love and understanding that men who are married to blondes (and those with grey hair) always exhibit, the husband replied, "Honey, why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."

Three blondes

Three blonde women are sitting on the side of a river. The first one says "dear God, make me twice as smart as I am so that I can cross the river". So God turns her into a brunette and she swims across. The second blonde says "dear God please make me twice as smart as you made the last girls so I can cross the river". So God turns her into a Red Head and she builds a boat and sails across. The third blonde says "dear God, make me twice as smart as you made the last girl so I can cross the river". So God turns her into a man and she walks across the bridge.
*edit* People, it's just a joke! So much hate, I've told other jokes as well. Here's an anti-man joke? Why are women bad with judging distance? Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches is their entire lives.

A Sexist Joke: Why are women bad at parking?

Because they've been lied to all their lives about how long "8" inches *really* is.

The UFO landed in the trailer park...

...in front of Mr. and Mrs. Willfart, relaxing in their lawn chairs. They all started talking about their cultural differences etc. until they came to s**.... Offering to swap "wives", the woman was lead off by the male alien. After starting, the alien asked "Is it good?". Mrs. Willfart replies "I wish it was just a bit longer". The alien says "Just tug on my right ear until it's as long as you like". She does so, and miraculously, his shlong grows to 8 inches. He then asks if it's satisfactory. "Can you make it thicker?" she asks timidly. The alien says "Just tug on my left ear, it'll get as thick as you like". She does so, and she's in heaven. After the aliens leave, Mr. Willfart asks his wife "How did you like the alien s**...?". "It was fantastic!", she replied. "How did you like the s**... with the alien woman?". He looked downcast, and said "It was OK, I guess, but she kept trying to rip my ears off!".

Hung like a baby....

There was a man and a woman who fell in love and decided to get hitched in Vegas. Before they walked into the chapel, the woman turns to the man and says: " Before we go through with this there is something you should know about me, I am flat chested"
The man responds: " Oh baby don't you worry about that. That does not make me love you any less. You are perfect the way you are"
The man continues: " While were on this subject there is something you should know about me, I'm hung like a baby"
The woman responds: "Oh honey, don'y you worry about that, you are still by fay perfect!"
The couple marry and move on to their honeymoon suite. The woman takes off her shirt, she is as flat as a washboard. The man takes off his pants. When the woman looked at him she fainted. A couple of minutes later the woman comes to. She asked the man: "You said you were hung like a baby!?"
The man replies: "I am, 8 pounds, 21 inches."

Weather Report...

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

There's 4 and a half inches of light snow outside

...or as most the men on Tinder would have me believe, 8 inches and really thick.

Why are women so terrible at parking?

Because men lie to them on what 8 inches *really* looks like.

I swear it's 8 inches!

I swear it's 8 inches!
I swear it's 8 inches!
I swear it's 8 inches!
See, 8 inches. - Pinocchio

I gave my wife 8 inches last week.

2 inches on Monday, 2 inches on Wednesday, 2 inches on Friday, and 2 inches on Saturday.

Ana from Frozen was upset it didn't snow on her Wedding day, but everything has a silver lining because she got 8 inches that night

Wife and I go to subway...

She says she can't decide between a 12" or a 6". I told her get the 6" sandwich and I'll give you 8 inches after supper

Why do rappers make bad carpenters?

Because they measure 5.5 to 6 inches as 8 to 13 inches.

An old biker....

was riding down the highway and got into a wreck. His ol' lady was on the back and got thrown. He asked her if she was alright, and she says "I have an 8 inch gash"...He says "I know that but, are you hurt"?

s**... with a weatherman must s**....

Always telling you to expect 8-12 inches,
only to find out it's not even 4.

The weatherman is always telling me things like "it's 70 degrees out, but feels like 59."

So I told my wife, "oh honey I swear it's 8 inches, but it just feels like 4."

My wife prayed for snow on our wedding day..

It didn't snow that day but she got 8 inches on the honeymoon. :D

A divorced man

A divorce man was walking on the street suddenly he saw a lamp in the middle of the road.
He picked it up and suddenly a genie poped out and said to man " you have three wishes and be careful what you will wish you ex will get double of that."
Man scratched his head and said "okay give me a $1 billion mansion."
Genie: wish fulfilled and your ex got $2 billion mansion. Now you have 2 wishes left.
Man again scratched his head and said "give $1 billion cash for my bills and other stuffs."
Genie : wish fulfilled here is the bank statement and your ex got $2billion. So what's you last wish.
Man : now I want a 8 inch d**k
LOL

My wife asked for snow on her wedding day

Sadly it didn't, although she got 8 inches on the honeymoon.

Lady (to her doctor): What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.

Doctor: How come?
Lady: According to my weight, my height should be 7 feet, 8 inches.

Why are women bad at judging distance?

(_hold your hands about 3 inches apart_)

They were taught that's 8 inches.

I finally understand why my girlfriend can't park

All this time I've been lying to her what 8 inches look like.

Where's the worst place to get s**... by 8 inches?

Probably one of the southern states, they really aren't prepared for that much snow.

My wife told me 6 inches isn't enough

My wife told me
6 inches isn't enough
12 inches is too much
8 inches is just right.
So skip subway and stop at Jimmy Johns

A woman prayed for snow on her wedding day...

But she didn't get any.
I prayed for snow on my wedding day, but sadly, there wasn't any snow. But on my honeymoon I got 8 inches.

Weather girl: …. and because of the cold front coming in from North-East,

we can expect about 3 inches of snow, or, as my colleague Bill would say, 8 inches.  

Why are the rails on train tracks 4 feet and 8 ½ inches apart?

Because if they wasn't the train will fall right off the track.

Mike Pence and conservative doctors in Indiana announced a miracle pill to cure homosexuality

Only one problem. It's an 8-inch long suppository.

On my online dating profile it clearly says that I'm 6 foot - 4 inches

So why when I turn up are woman always disappointed that I'm 5'8

I was watching the weather on TV tonight and the forecaster said, "And because of the cold front coming in from North-East, we can expect about 5 inches of snow." She then glared off camera and continued...

"Or as my colleague Bill would say, 8 inches."

What's the difference between rare and medium?

6 inches is about medium, 8 inches is rare.

What's the difference between medium and rare?

6 inches is medium, but 8 is rare.
Source: The Jester by James Patterson

A gypsy man was fishing one day when

he caught a beautiful golden trout. This happened to be a magic trout, and it said to the gypsy
"Oh kind fisherman, if you would throw me back I will grant you three wishes!"
So the gypsy didn't think very long, and threw the fish back. Then he said
"For my first wish, I want to be White. For my second wish, I want to be 8 inches long... if you know what I mean. And for my third wish, make is so that all the women in the world will want me!"
So the fish said "Your wishes are granted!"

and turned him into a m**... Pad.

Growing Up

My son, Bob, was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He worked through the Christmas holidays and didn't return home again until the February break.
When he got off the plane, I was stunned at how much taller he looked. Measuring him at home, I discovered he now stood at 5 feet, 11 inches. My son was as surprised as I. "Couldn't you tell by your clothes that you'd grown?" I asked him.
"Since I've been doing my own laundry," he replied, "I just figured everything had shrunk."

Do you know why firetrucks are red?

Firetrucks have 4 wheels and carry 8 people.
4+8=12
There are 12 inches in a ruler
Queen Elizabeth is a ruler
There was a ship named Queen Elizabeth
Ships sail on seas
Seas have fish
Fish have fins
People from Finland are Finns
Finland and Russia border each other
Russians are red
Firetrucks are always Russian around

Missing

Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man. The wife said, "He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children. "The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children. "The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back? "