7th Jokes

Following is our collection of bar puns and 9th one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including 7th jokes for adults, dirty fifteenth jokes and clean local dad gags for kids.

The Best 7th Puns

As we landed in Saudi Arabia the pilot announced "Ladies and Gentlemen don't forget to adjust your watches to local time"

I thought to myself how do I turn it back to the 7th century?

Did you know too much sex can cause memory loss

I read that in a medical journal on page 34 at 3:23 pm last year on Wednesday November the 7th.

Number 7

Mark dreams number 7.

He wakes up, looks at his watch: it was 7:07.

He looked at the calendar: July 7, 2007.

Decided it was a sign he's taking the bus 77.

Arrive at the track, put $ 7777 on the horse 7 from the 7th race.

The horse comes seventh.

What did Kurt Kobain have such a terrible time in 7th grade?

He was having a mid-life crisis.

Dying husband asks his wife:

Our 7th son always looked different from the other 6, did he have a different father?"

Wife (crying): Yes!

Husband: Who?

Wife: You!

Husband Dies.


Man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of JΓ€germeister

Man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of JΓ€germeister.

The bartender looks at him and says "Wow 6 shots of JΓ€ger! You must be celebrating something."

The man replies,"You bet I am! I am celebrating my first blow job."

"Hey congrats man!" says the Bartender "I'll get you a 7th shot on the house"

The man replies "No thank you. If 6 shots of JΓ€ger doesn't get rid of this taste nothing will."

A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on.

He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing.

She replied, I'm on the 7th hole, and you're a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole.

He thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached the lady again with the same request.

She said, I'm on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th.

Once again he thanked her.

He finished his round and went into the club house and saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar.

He went up to her and said, Let me buy you a drink to show my appreciation for your help.

He started a conversation and asked her what kind of work she did.

She said she was in sales, and he said he was in sales also. He asked what she sold.

She replied, If I told you, you would only laugh.

No, I wouldn't, he said.

She said, I sell tampons.

With that he fell on the floor laughing so hard.

She said, See, I knew you would laugh.

That's not what I'm laughing at, he replied. I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm STILL one hole behind you!

The way I combed my hair in 7th grade

is the worst part.

The Arabs invented a time machine.

It's called Islam. It can take any civilization back to the 7th century.

A Dying husband asks his wife....

A Dying husband asks his wife: Our 7th son always looked different from the other 6, on my death bed, tell me the truth...did he have a different father?

Wife (crying): Yes!

Husband (in shock): Who?

Wife: You!

A guy's boss who is traveling calls him and asks, "Is everything okay at the office?"

"Yes, it's all under control. It's been a very busy day, I haven't stopped."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Of course, what is it?"

"Hurry up and take your shot, I'm behind you on the 7th hole."


Last year, 7th grade students were forced to clean the entire school.

This year, the principal said, "Last year, the 7th grade student did the cleaning. This year, let the 8th grade students do it."

Young man walks into a bar

Orders 6 shots of tequila.

Bartender says: " what are we celebrating?"

Young man says; " my first blow job"

Bartender says; " well here's a 7th shot on the house"

Young man's says: " if 6 ain't going to get the taste out, 7 won't"

On October 31st, we will have a full moon, and the 7th planet from the sun will be its brightest...

So when someone sees the moon that day, they will likely see Uranus too...

Who won the original Tour De France?

The 7th Panzer division

Guy goes into a pub.

He orders 7 pints of beer, he drinks the first pint, the third pint, the 5th and the 7th pint and gets up to leave. The barman says why are you not drinking the other three pints.? He says, doctors orders, what do you mean by that asks the barman.? I am on medication and my doctor said to me the odd pint is okay.

Congrats to the Patriots on their 7th ring,

Super Bowls XXXVI (2001), XXXVIII (2003), XXXIX (2004), XLIX (2014), LI (2016), LIII (2018), Prostitution Ring (2019)!

Why did Tupac go to the gym?

To get a sixpac!


(Thank you 7th grade me)

What's the difference between falling from the seventh floor and falling from the second?

7th floor:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
...
*thud*

2nd floor:

*thud*
...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Sorry.


I was at a performance of Beethoven's 7th, when suddenly the whole orchestra got up and left.

...which was disconcerting.

7

One night I was dreaming the number 7, over an over. To my amazement, when I woke up it was 7 o'clock, on July the 7th. So I took the bus on line 7 straight to the racetrack and bet 7777$ on the 7th horse from the 7th round. It finished on 7th.

Got something to celebrate?

A guy enters a bar and orders 6 bacardi coke's. Bartender asks if he has something to celebrate. ''Yes!'' says the guy, ''I had oral sex for the first time!''
Bartender: ''Nice, congrats! The 7th is on the house then!''
The guy: ''No thanks, if the taste sticks after 6 drinks, it wil after 7 as well ...

The woman was on the verge of death she asked her seven children to leave the room, and she was left alone with her husband.

She said to him I have something to confess.

Yes?

You know our 7th child, Little Joe?

He's not mine?

No, he is yours.

How to kill worm in your stomach

Eat apples for 6 straight days and on the 7th day eat an orange instead , then the worm will come out of your stomach and ask " dude where's my apple???" then you take a baseball bat and beat him to death.

Why are Americans so slow to celebrate 07/04?

I mean, it was the 7th of April months ago...

Who won the first Tour de France?

The 7th Panzer Devision

Why did 2Pac go to the gym?

To get a 6Pac!

-7th grade me

Why couldn't the Lutheran math student steal the answers from his classmate?

According to 7th commandment, it was considered an βœ“((1/2 i e^(-i x) - 1/2 i e^(i x))^2 )...

Islam IS a RACE

to the 7th century.

Only possible with the mind of a 7th grader...

My brother comes home from school one day and tells me his friend was held after school.

I asked him what for.

He said he moved all the women's rights books in the library into the fiction department.

Call me the 7th noble gas.

Cuz I'm Og.

(yay for the completion of the 7th row of the periodic table!)

What is the name of the new game show hosted by Katt Williams?

Are You Stronger Than A 7th Grader?

Why do Russians celebrate Christmas on the 7th of January?

Cause eight reindeer and a sleigh are a lot quicker than 6 pigs and a stoneboat.

Seeing a repost is like going to war with China

It makes you go, Hey, thats the 7th time I've seen that guy today!

The new Super Smash Bros comes out on December 7th

Japan must just love dropping bombs that day

What did I do when I impregnated my 7th wife?

Iran

A Proton sits in a bar and orders his 7th drink. The barkeep asks "you sure?"

And the Proton replies
"Yeah man, I just caught my wife cheating, I need to forget...".

Who was the true winner of the 1940 Tour de France?

The 7th German Panzer Division

Did you hear about the guy that was half Black and half Japanese ...

... every December 7th he would attack Pearl Bailey.

The last time Japan upset a nation this much was December 7th, 1941.

One of my friends maintains that tomorrow doesn't come until you've have 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

He also maintains that it's September 7th, 1998.

My teacher

In 7th grade my teacher walked in , took a long pause , then looked at all of us and said, "Never get married".

Then there was the Japanese grunge rocker...

Every December 7th he attacked Pearl Jam.

A man was eating the 7th planet from the sun.... what did his breath smell like?

83% hydrogen, 15% helium and 2% methane.

Did you hear about the half Black, half Japanese fella?

Every December 7th he'd have an urge to bomb Pearl Bailey.

Went golfing today. Hit a birdie on the 7th hole.

Blackbird I think.

The guy who invented the crossword is buried in my town's cemetery...

His grave is the 7th one down and the 3rd one across.

What did God create on the 7th day?

A week.

Why did God rest on the 7th day?

Because he felt a little week.

A new report says that the average U.S. University Freshman reads at a 7th grade level. To any College Freshmen out there, big words say you can't read big words.

There is an abundance of life jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 50 funniest jokes and 7th puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any arabia witze you can hear about 7th.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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