747 Jokes

Following is our collection of twa humor and aircraft one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include 747 puns for adults, dirty tarmac jokes or clean racist gags for kids.

There is an abundance of dine jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 18 funniest jokes on 747. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any classic witze you can hear about 747.

The Best jokes about 747

What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?

boeing boeing boeing

Why can a 747 never crash?

When it hits the ground it goes 'boeing'

Airline Safety

Taxiing down the tarmac, the 747 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After a two hour delay, it finally took off.

Barry, a worried passenger asked the steward, "What was the problem?"

"Well, the pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine", explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."

I asked an 747 pilot how often those things crash...

I once asked the pilot of a 747 as I was getting on, how often those things crash, he casually replied:

"Usaly just once"

I told my pregnant girl friend that she was as big as a 747.

That did not fly.

Reindeer joke!

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer passed away today at the age of 57. He was struck by a 747 jet liner and a flock of seagulls as he flew over Barcelona. Coroners say that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

What do you get when you cross an accountant with a giant jet airplane?

A Boring 747

Did you hear in the news that a 747 recently crashed in a cemetery in Poland?

The Polish officials have so far retrieved 2000 bodies.

Yoda is piloting a 747...

Radio tower: Flight 90 you seem to be veering away from your designated flight path. Stay on course. Over.

Yoda: Instrument panels, working not.

Radio tower: Flight 90, stay on course. Is everything okay? Over.

Yoda: Too many clouds, there are.

Radio tower: Flight 90. Maintain a high altitude. Stop descending.

Yoda: Hydraulics, working not.

Radio tower: *static crackling* Flight 90 I'm having trouble *static crackling* reading you on the radar *static crackling* Are you on course?

Yoda: Of course I am

*static crackling*

Santa was hit by an Airbus 747 while flying over Barcelona last night, and none of the flight crew survived

The doctors have confirmed that the reindeer in Spain were hit mainly by the plane.

- Credit to Colin Monchrie from "Whose Line Is It Anyway"

A 747 just landed at Heathrow Airport in London

A 747 just landed at Heathrow Airport in London. After the captain shutdown the engines you could still hear the whining.

what is your dirtiest joke ever

What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?

Not everyone's been in a 747.

Engine failure

A Boeing 747 was having trouble with the engines. The pilots called the cabin crew and asked them to prepare the cabin for an emergency landing.

After a while, the pilots call back and ask if the cabin is secure. The flight attendant replies "Yes, captain. But there are some lawyers walking around handing out business cards"

What type of plane do hookers use?

Hoeing 747

At first I found flying a Boeing 747 on top of water hard

But soon after it was plane sailing.

"I would like one Lotto ticket, please."

Upon reaching the counter at his local market our fellow says, "I would like one Lotto ticket, please." The woman behind the counter looks at him disappointedly. "You don't want a Lotto ticket."
Not dissuaded, the man says, "Yes I do. One Lotto ticket please."
"It's a fool's bet." The woman says.
"No matter." says the fellow. "One Lotto Ticket, please." That's when she snapped on him.
"Listen, Bub. Do you know what the odds of winning the Lotto are? Do you? They're the same odds as having a 747 jumbo jet flying directly overhead and having one of it's engines tear off it's wing, come plummeting down to earth and Crush You Dead!" That instant, the ceiling broke through as a jumbo jet engine crashed down and killed the fellow in line behind him.
"I would like two Lotto tickets, please."

What do you get when you cross an accountant with an airplane

a Boring 747.

Red-nosed Rudolph was hit by a 747 and a flock of seagulls on Christmas Eve during a gift delivery over Barcelona

The reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane

(Courtesy of Colin Mochrie)

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes