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72 Virgins Jokes

68 72 virgins jokes and hilarious 72 virgins puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 72 virgins that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest 72 Virgins Short Jokes

Short 72 virgins jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 72 virgins humour may include short virgins jokes also.

  1. So I heard that the hacker "Anonymous" are waging war on ISIS and al-Qaeda... Quite ironic that 72 virgins will be attacking the terrorists!
  2. So, Anonymous has declared war on ISIS ... ironic that 72 virgins are now attacking the terrorists
  3. Why do so many Muslim students take Intro to Engineering? They heard it was a great place to find 72 virgins.
  4. So the Hacker group Anonymous just declared war on ISIS and Al-Queida Quite ironic that terrorists will be killed by 72 virgins.
  5. Did you hear anonymous declared war on ISIS? A: Kind of ironic that they're now being attacked by 72 virgins
  6. Islamic men get 72 virgins when they die. What do Islamic women get? 73 sets of clothes to wash.
  7. Why didn't jimmy savile want to be a Muslim? He didn't need to die in order to get his hands on 72 virgins.
  8. Why do Muslim Leaders tell their followers that they'll get 72 virgins in Heaven? Because 69 looks too obviously a joke.
  9. I want to name my new band "In search of 72 virgins". That way people will just automatically assume we are the bomb.
  10. A person who was promised 72 virgins is very excited when he goes to heaven He goes to God and asks where he can find them
    God sends him to the mechanical engineering branch in India

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72 Virgins One Liners

Which 72 virgins one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 72 virgins? I can suggest the ones about virgin boy and lost virginity.

  1. You don't need to die as a muslim to get 72 virgins Just be a catholic priest
  2. What do you call a meeting of 72 virgins? A scientific conference
  3. What do you call it when a plane with 72 virgins crashes into a field? Heaven on earth.
  4. What Do You Call a Bearded Man Whose Idea of Paradise is 72 Virgins? Richard Branson.
  5. Kidnapping 72 virgins... is harder than making an idiot go kill himself.
  6. How does an ISIS martyr handle 72 virgins? Spray and pray.
  7. When Muslims die they get 72 virgins... I just go to the next primary school
  8. What do you call the 72 virgins that Allah gave isis? Goats
  9. ISIS and Anonymous. Maybe the Anonymous members are the 72 virgins they want.
  10. Why do s**... b**... have 72 virgins? one for each chunk.
  11. A s**... bomber dies and actually gets 72 virgins. They were all neckbeards.

72 Virgins Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about 72 virgins you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean losing virginity jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 72 virgins pranks.

I don't understand why Islamic fundamentalist s**... b**... go through with it on the off chance of getting 72 virgins when you die...

Become a catholic priest and have them now!

Why does Saudi Arabia import so many camels from Australia?

They've got to get their 72 virgins *somewhere*

Help with joke

3 terrorists are about to behead an infidel.
The first one says god is great. God is great. We will kill this infidel and Allah will bless us with 72 Virgins.
The second says. God is great god is great. We will kill this infidel and Allah will bless us with untold riches.
The third t**... takes out a cellphone and starts dialing really fast.
The two others are looking at him and asking him what he is doing?
So the guy goes:
God is great god is great. My passport just came in and now I can go to Iraq and fight the U.S.
How is that great? We have work to do here?
More money, more virgins. You do the math.
Math? Kill the infidel, he's a Jew.

A Muslim and a Catholic priest walk into a bar.

The two start talking casually about their respective religions. The Muslim says, "I believe that when I die, Allah will bless me with 72 virgins."
The priest's eyes get wide. "Really? That would be awesome, but unfortunately the church can only have 3 altar boys at a time."

72 virgins

This was it. The s**... bomber was going to blow up the US camp. Little did he know that when he woke up he would be surrounded by 72 engineering students....

I never understood terrorists...

They commit s**... and might get 72 virgins, but they should just become priests and have them now!

s**... terrorists are like my inflatable s**... doll...

Both of them blow up and leave a mess afterwards.
But one of them has been through 72 virgins, and the other is in ISIL.

So hacker group Anonymous declared war on ISIS.

Probably the closest ISIS will get to 72 virgins.

What's the difference between a m**... man and a Muslim man.

A m**... man gets 72 virgins and THEN kills himself.

A s**... bomber goes to heaven to receive his 72 virgins...

But all he sees are other men just like himself.

Confused, he asks one of them where his virgins are.
The man replies, "Brother, we are all virgins."

How many virgins does take to change a lightbulb?

Obviously more than 72, or all those s**... bomber would have seen the light.

why would you be a s**... bomber...

And wait for the 72 virgins in heaven... When you could become a catholic preist and have them now!
Source: Jimmy Carr

Once a t**... blows himself

After reaching Allah's gate he asks for his 72 virgins
Allah replies" You misunderstood me my son,there is only one v**... and she is 72 Years old"

I don't see why you would become an Islamic fundamentalist s**... bomber on the off chance that when you die you get 72 virgins.

Just become a Catholic priest and get them now.

An al-Qaeda s**... bomber carried out his mission...

And made it to heaven, where he found 72 virgins. Turns out they were all guys playing world of Warcraft.

s**... b**... make no sense

You blow yourself up and then get 72 virgins but if you become a priest you get them immediately

Don't become an Islamic s**... bomber for the off chance you'll get 72 virgins after death.

Become a Catholic priest and get them now!

A t**... blows himself up at a Star Trek convention.

It's a bit awkward five minutes later when he's meeting his 72 virgins.

A Muslim is about to commit s**... when a Catholic priest stops him

"What are you doing?!" Exclaims the priest
"There is nothing on this Earth for me." The Muslim says "I will commit s**... to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head
"Foolish Muslim, s**... is not the way!" He says
"Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school."

What is the point in becoming an ISIS t**... on the off chance you will get 72 Virgins when you die?

Just become a Catholic priest and have them now.

So if Every Muslim gets 72 virgins when they die...

And there are more than 1 billion Muslims, then there are 72 Billion virgins, right?

After dying, an Islamic t**... goes to a gaming room in heaven.

He looks around and finds 72 older dudes gaming. These weren't the virgins he was expecting.

After killing himself and several others, a s**... bomber is given 72 virgins to use as he pleases.

When the s**... bomber arrives, he notices that they're all on laptops. He finds this strange, and asks one what they're doing. The v**... responds, "We're playing Fortnite. Wanna join?"

I don't understand why Islamic extremists would blow themselves up for the prospect of getting 72 virgins in the Afterlife

Just become a Catholic priest and get it now!

Islamic terrorists makes no sense . Commit s**... and might get 72 virgins ?

Become a Catholic priest and get them now

Why do Muslims get 72 virgins in heaven?

Because the alcoholic drinks are only for Christians.

A Muslim walked into a bar and ordered 72 glasses of orange juice, each with a lemon slice

Why?
Because he wanted 72 v**... Paradise

It's amazing what Muslims put themselves through, just so they can get 72 virgins in heaven.

It would be a lot easier if they just became Catholic priests.

3 murders get caught and get 10 years solitary...


During their killing spree they spare the life of an old man. They have 24 hour lock down and the old man turns out to be a wizard and approaches them in prison and says I cant set you all free but i will give you whatever you love the most in your cell.
So the first guy says woman, So the guy gives him 72 virgins. The second guy says jack D, so the genie gives him litres and litres of Jack. The 3rd guy says w**... so the genie gives him ounces and ounces of w**....
After 10 years when they're released the old man comes and say soo did you guys like your wishes?
The first guy says "ohh i f**... so many of the girls i cant even look at a p**... again"!
Asks the second guy and he says I cant drink another drop of whiskey without falling ill!
Comes to the thirds guy and asks how his w**... was, the 3rd guy looks at him in anger and says "you didnt leave me a lighter ya p**...!!"
oh god i crack myself up

I've never really understood it why would you become an Islamic s**... bomber on the off-chance you might get 72 virgins when you die.

Become a Catholic priest and get them now.

Whoever says that it would be great to die and have 72 virgins...

Has obviously never had s**... with a v**...

Why do you never see Old s**... b**..., after all they have less to loose?

Because A man who hasn't had a hard on in 10 years, has no use for 72 virgins.

72 virgins say hi

Get in here d**...! The Reddit Enthusiasts Meetup is about to start!
73 virgins sit down.

A jihadist was preparing himself for his mission, when suddenly he's facing the image of his dearly departed comrad

"Ahmad! How is paradise?"
"Abdul, don't go through with the mission, it is not the paradise we were promised!"
"How is that possible? How could that be? Did you get the 72 virgins?"
"Yes, and that's the problem, Abdul... think about what kind of women dies a v**...."

Can you imagine getting 72 v**... when you go to heaven?

The first half-dozen or so will be nice, but after that, I'm going to want a pro.

A s**... bomber went to heaven.

The Angel at the front desk greeted him.
"Hi, welcome. There are 72 very h**... virgins waiting for you!"
"I knew it! said the bomber. "Bring me the women!"
The Angel smiled.
"Who mentioned women?"