70year Jokes

A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor for a sperm test.

The doctor gives him a bottle to collect his sperm with. The next day he comes back with an empty bottle. He looks at the doctor and says:
"I've tried with my left hand and then with my right hand. My wife tried with both her hands. Even my daughter tried with both her hands and her mouth as well, same with my granddaughter. Even the neighbour and her daughter couldn't get it done! Doctor, could you open this bottle for me?"

Newly wed 70-year old

Marty is with his fellow septuagenarian friends. During a thoughtful pause between all the joking and grousing he reveals that he and his new bride are having some issues with sex. The friends had previously warned Marty that his bride-to-be only wanted him for his money and now they rallied around him.

"You lied by saying that you're only 50 years old. And now she's disappointed that you have sex infrequently," ventured a friend.

"Yes, I lied," Marty confessed. "I said that I was 90 years old. And now she's upset that it's in frequently."

> mandatory: this is not mine; not OC

We have collected gags that can be used as 70year pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about 70year, here are one liners and funny 70year pick up lines.

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