70th Jokes

A man visits his 70th class reunion

He drinks a fair amount there and then asks for his crush from high school's hand in marriage. She accepts and then they drink some more. The next morning the man remembers that he had asked the woman to marry him but not her response, so he calls her up and asks if she said yes. She replies, "Of course I said yes. Thank goodness you called me though." The man, puzzled asks why. She replies "I had forgotten to whom I had said yes to."

Three women share a birthday and celebrate it together

For their 40th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because the waiters are cute and wear tight pants.

For their 50th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because the prices are reasonable and it has a good wine list.

For their 60th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because its quiet and has a nice view.

For their 70th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because its wheelchair accessible.

For their 80th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because they've never been there before.

For his 70th birthday, one of his students gave the zen master a big box with a ribbon around it.

When the master opened the box, he found that there was nothing inside.

"Aha," he exclaimed, "just what I wanted!"

Told my gran she needs to write an invite list for her 80th birthday party

She said that's grand I've got the one from my 70th there just cross off the ones that are dead

There has to be a line where 9/11 jokes aren't funny anymore...

For me it's somewhere around the 70th floor.


I'm sorry, I know that was terrible. I'll see myself out.

We have collected gags that can be used as 70th pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about 70th, here are one liners and funny 70th pick up lines.

Joko Jokes