The Best 35 69 Jokes

Following is our collection of funny 69 jokes. There are some 69 jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these 69 puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest 69 Jokes and Puns

So Tekashi69 could face life in prison

Which is nice because we might finally get to see a mumble rapper completing a sentence

Why is 6.9 the worst number?

It's a 69 interrupted by a period

The sex position formerly known as 69 is now called 96.

Due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up.

A girl promises to teach her boyfriend what 69ing is.

He lies down on the floor and she squats down over his face to assume the position and farts. Embarrassed she stands up and apologises. She squats down for another go but farts again, she gets up and apologises again.

Before she can have a third go, her boyfriend gets up and goes to walk out saying yeah this isn't really for me, I'm not having 67 more of those in my face

Why is 69 afraid of 70?

Because they once had a fight and 71.

#

Sorry guys.


BREAKING: Russia has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Black Sea, killing all 69 aboard

Whoops wrong sub

If the number 666 is considered evil

..is 25.8069758 the root of all evil?

Today, me and my wife had a .69

It would have been a hundred times better without the period.

So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69.

Apparently, "I do." is not the correct answer.

What does 69 plus 69 equal ?

Dinner for 4

My professor called me into his office.

"Your essays are good", he said. "But you need to come up with more reliable sources for the quotes you use."

"But sir," I started, "a man once said 'It is not the speaker that defines the merits of the words, but the words themselves.'"

He sighed. "Who did? Who said that?"

"Dave69 on Pornhub."

You can explore 69 reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean 69 dad jokes. There are also 69 puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Γ€ duck waddles into the drug store.

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What's the speed limit for sex?

Sixty-eight. At 69 you have to turn around.

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69.

What's the speed limit of sex?

68, because if you go 69 you'll flip over and eat it.

Policeman: How could you kill...

...69 people? What the hell was wrong with you?

Driver: I was driving at 80km/h when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a wedding party. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realized they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the wedding party.

Policeman: Hit the 2 men of course!

Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other man ran towards the wedding party so l followed him.

I just got fired from my job as a bingo caller...

Apparently, "A meal for two with a hairy view" is *not* an appropriate way of calling out number 69...

It's never EVER a good idea to fart during a 69.

That's how they found me underneath their bed.

Saw two druggies having a '69' in the park earlier on.

He was on crack, she was on blow.


Did you know that 69 is now 96?

With this worsening economy, it costs a lot more to eat out.

How many immature people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

69.

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because every time she gets to 69, she gets a frog in her throat.

What do you call a triangle with angles 42.0Β°, 69Β° and 69Β°?

A Nice-osceles triangle.

A woman was shopping for her daughters birthday.

She asked the salss girl the price of some Barbie dolls. "This Barbie is $16.99," the girl said. "If you want something a little nicer, Malibu Barbie is $24.99. Or you can get Divorce Barbie for $169.99." "Why is Divorce Barbie so expensive" the mother asked. "Well," the sales girl said "Divorce Barbie comes with Ken's house and car."

A newlywed Asian couple are on the first night of their honeymoon and have saved it for marriage

The husband says to his wife, "What do you want to do? We can try anything you want."

The wife says, "I want 69."

The husband replies, "You want beef with broccoli?"

I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69

She made me crunchy sweet and sour pork with double rice

What do you call 2 Irish lesbians 69ing?

Gaelic.

There are 70 ways to make a man happy...

One is booze and the other is 69.

Will Smith teeth joke

Jason Derulo classic golf moves leaving Will Smith with no front teeths !

View this post on Instagram

And we never saw @jasonderulo again

A post shared by Will Smith (@willsmith) on

If 666 is the mark of the beast...

... and the beast is pure evil wouldn't 25.8069758011278803 technically be the root of all evil?

Why were birth rates low in 1970?

You can't get pregnant during '69.

My girlfriend just asked how mature I was on a scale of 1 to 100..

..apparently 69 was not the correct answer.

A priest started his Sunday sermon by saying...

... "Today's sermon is going to be about 'liars'. How many of you have read the 69th chapter of the gospel according to St Matthew? "

Nearly everyone raised their hands.

"You are exactly the people I want speak to. There is no 69th chapter of the gospel according to St Matthew."

What's 6.9?

A perfectly good 69 ruined by a period

All women should be able to do atleast 70 things

69 and leave

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the 69 jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working 69 piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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