60 Minutes Jokes

These are the 45 60 minutes jokes and hilarious 60 minutes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 60 minutes that are good jokes for kids and friends..

Quick Jump To


Best Short 60 Minutes Jokes

These are our top 60 minutes puns. Have fun with a good 60 minutes joke in English with simple 60 minutes humour.

  1. My dad says this all the time about woman with large butts. She's got an hourglass figure, with all 60 minutes at the bottom.
  2. When you think about time on the cosmic scale, an infinitely expanding past and future... 60 seconds seems pretty minute.
  3. Some moisturising lotion takes as long as 60 seconds to be absorbed into your skin Just let that sink in for a minute
  4. What do a Jewish mother-in-law and 60 Minutes have in common? They both always start with tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk...
  5. I made a one minute long documentary on a U.S. island territory in Micronesia... It's called Guam in 60 Seconds.
  6. Did you know I can fly on United Airlines from Los Angles to New York in just 60 seconds? I even called and asked how long it would take, she told me "just a minute"
  7. I was promised an hour of body massage with a happy ending. At the end of 60 minutes, they lived happily ever after.
  8. LPT for stretching your food budget Cut a minute steak into 60 pieces. Then everyone can have seconds.
  9. Did you hear that they cancelled 60 Minutes? Someone stole the clock.
  10. I have mastered the science of time travel but it works going forward in time at a rate of 60 seconds per minute.

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these 60 minutes jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of 60 minutes puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

60 Minutes One Liners

Which 60 minutes dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 60 minutes?

  1. I don't know why Donald Trump wants four more years. He can't even handle 60 minutes.
  2. I can't find my 'Gone in 60 seconds' dvd. It was here a minute ago
  3. Have you seen my gone in 60 seconds DVD? It was there a minute ago
  4. Yo' mama so slow... ...it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes
  5. When I say 60 seconds.. I minute.
  6. Every 60 seconds in Africa... A minute passes.
  7. Tragic: In the world every 60 seconds... ...One minute passes.
  8. This is very sad, but did you know, every 60 seconds in Africa: A minute passes
  9. Fact Every 60 seconds in Ukraine a minute passes
  10. We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.
  11. If you cut a minute steak... ...into 60 pieces then everyone can have seconds
  12. Every 60 minutes in Africa.. a minute passes
  13. 60 minutes was good, but still my least favorite Stormy Daniels video
  14. A recent study has shown that every 60 seconds in Africa... A minute goes by.
  15. Every 60 minutes in Africa An hour passes

60 Minutes Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about 60 minutes to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make 60 minutes prank.

Yo momma so s**... it took her four hours to watch "60 Minutes."

Yo Mama's so s**... because it too her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her.
“I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.”
The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.”
The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.”
She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.

Two boys have taken part in IQ tests at the well-known psychologist.
The first boy has opened the door after 30 minutes of testing and has screamed: "wow, perfect, unbelievable, I have 60 points, I have 60 points!"
After another 30 minutes has opened the door the second boy and has screamed: "wow, super, I have 62 points, I have 62 points!"
They sat down and asked each other: "and what does it mean, that you have 60 points and I have 62 points? Let us ask the psychologist what does it mean?"
The psychologist has said: "the 60 and 62 points means that you are both idiots."

Birthday s**...

Adam was talking to his friend at a bar. He said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck." His friend said, "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying that she can have 60 minutes of great s**..., anyway she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled." So Adam decided to listen to his friend's advice. The next day at the bar, his friend said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?" "Yes, I did," Adam replied. "Did she like it?" "Oh yes! She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead, and ran out the door, yelling, "I'll be back in an hour!"

A hundred year-old man and his 98 year-old woman contact a lawyer to arrange a divorce...

...and lawyer asks them "how long have you been married?"
"80 years" the man replies.
"Why do you want a divorce after all this time?" the lawyer asks.
"We hate each other. I hate everything about her. I hate how she talks, how she walks, how she sleeps, how she chews her food, even how she breathes" the man replies. "And she's ugly."
The lawyer looks at the woman, eyebrows raised.
"Yes, " she says, "and I hate him too. I hate his hobbies, his attitudes, the way he treats people, his politics, I cannot stand to be in his presence for more than five minutes. The man is a pig. And he smells."
The lawyer asks "how long have you felt this way?"
"50 years" the mans replies.
"More like 60" says the woman.
"Well then tell me, " asks the lawyer, "why have you waited until now to get a divorce, if you've hated each other for so long."
"We were waiting for the children to die."

Rib jokes?

My mom just broke one of her ribs shoveling snow. (Really mom? You're 60 years old, with a snowblower, with a husband who was literally 10 minutes away from coming home) Anyway, does anyone have any good jokes involving ribs? I know the Adam/Eve ones...any others?

CNN reporter

In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time.
So she went to check it out.
She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was!
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.
"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."
"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a f**...' wall."

60 Years of Marriage

An old couple in their 80's are sitting in their rocking chairs on the front porch enjoying the day. Suddenly the wife reaches over and just slaps her husband across the face.
Flabergasted he looks at her and says "what was that for?"
She responds "that's for 60 years of bad s**..."
They continue to rocking on the porch.
A few minutes later the husband reaches over and smacks his wife hard enough that it knocks her out of her chair onto the porch.
With tears in her eyes she asks "what was that for?"
Her husband replies "that's for knowing the difference."

The term "Every 60 seconds in Africa , a minute passes" is s**...

Because the majority of Africans don't get seconds , they'll be very lucky if they even get their first servings .

Did anyone else see that 60 Minutes interview with Monica Lewinsky last night?

She said she wasn't very happy about possibly having another Clinton in the White House. That the last one left a bad taste in her mouth.

How many seconds are in a minute?

60,this isn't a trick question.

Would you believe me if I told you it takes 60 seconds to make a lollipop?

There's a s**... born every minute.

"I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday"

Adam was talking to his friend at a bar. He said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck." His friend said, "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying that she can have 60 minutes of great s**..., anyway she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled." So Adam decided to listen to his friend's advice. The next day at the bar, his friend said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?" "Yes, I did," Adam replied. "Did she like it?" "Oh yes! She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead, and ran out the door, yelling, "I'll be back in an hour!"

60 Minutes need to get with the times and modernize.

And rebrand to 50 minutes

A guy asked his crush to prom, and to his surprise, she said yes! The day before prom, he gets ready for the exciting day.

First, he goes to the tuxedo store to rent a tux, there was a huge line and he finally got the tux after 30 minutes. Next, he goes to the flower shop to buy a bouquet of flowers. There was an even longer line and he waited for 60 minutes to finally get the flowers. Finally, he went to the car shop to rent a limousine. The line lasted 90 minutes and he finally rented a white limousine. On the day of prom, he wears his tuxedo, drives the limousine, and gives the flowers to his crush. At prom, his crush asked him to go grab her a drink. He walks over to the punch table, there is no punchline...

Your Mom So Old...

She watches an episode of *60 Minutes* for Three Hours

A Great Birthday Idea

A guy doesn't know what to get his wife for her birthday, so he makes up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great s**..., any way she wants it. He thinks she will be thrilled.
He gives it to her and asks if she likes it.
"Oh yes!" She says as she jumps up, thanks him, kisses him on the forehead, and runs out the door, yelling "I'll be back in an hour!"

A Priest congratulates the elderly married couple for 60 yrs of marriage...

"So, how'd you do it?" the Priest asks the elderly man. "Any wisdom you give might help some of our younger parishioners who are just recently married."
The man pauses and thinks for a minute. He answers matter-of-factly, "Going out to dinner twice a week saved our marriage."
The priest nodded and then raised an eyebrow. "Twice a week? That's got to be pretty expensive!"
"Not at all," said the old man. "She goes out on Thursdays, and I go out on Sundays."

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar during the town's annual Halloween celebration. "I'd sure like to try out that giant corn maze they set up, but I'm afraid I'd get lost and kill half the day in there," the guy tells the bartender. "There is actually a guide you can hire that will take you through the entire labyrinth in just 60 seconds," the bartender reassures him. "It's a minute tour."

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

Discover more jokes

The impact of these 60 minutes jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.