Boy: Why is your tum-tum so huge?
Lady: Because I have a baby inside it.
Boy: Is it a nice baby?
Lady: It is a very nice healthy baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?
**Question:** Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet?
**Answer:** Because his 'I' was all jacked up.
*...she cracks me up*
A dead Humpty Dumpty.
A kindergarden class is asked to do some drawing. The teacher approaches a 5-year-old girl in the class and asks her what she's drawing.
"I'm drawing God," she says.
The teacher smiles. "But no one knows what God looks like."
"They will in 5 minutes."
A little boy walks in to the kitchen one Sunday morning while his dad is reading the paper.
"Where does poo come from?" he asks.
The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5-year-old son is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says,
"Well you know we just ate breakfast?"
"Yes," answers the boy.
"Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our butts when we go to the bathroom, and that is poo."
The little boy looks perplexed, and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds and asks.
"And Tigger?"
5-Year-Old: Empathy! I don't even know what it means!
Me- I know how you feel.
I said, "I want you to go to the moon too!"
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Dad, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
When all of a sudden, a car comes speeding down the road, crashes into the pig and slides into a spot between two other cars.
The guy driving the car gets out and looks at the dead pig and says, "Well, I guess I got park chops."
We have collected gags that can be used as 5yearold pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about 5yearold, here are one liners and funny 5yearold pick up lines.