5th Grade Jokes
17 5th grade jokes and hilarious 5th grade puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 5th grade that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest 5th Grade Short Jokes
Short 5th grade jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 5th grade humour may include short 6th grade jokes also.
- Mike Tyson was arrested at a 5th grade sitting bee his first time judging The word was Dictate.
[Spelling Bee Contestant] Can you use it in a sentence?
[Mike Tyson] She liked the way my Dictate - Something I remember hearing from my 5th-grade teacher Student: How do you spell "suffering"?
Teacher: T-E-A-C-H-I-N-G. - I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade.
Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools... - A joke I thought of back in the 5th grade. Why did the robber go !POP!... Because he was busted.
- 5th grade teacher: "You have more wrong answers than your whole class combined. I have never seen one person make so many mistakes." Student: "Well... not *one* person. My dad helped me too."
- Why did the Libertarian fail 5th grade math? They refused to learn the distributive property.
- In 5th grade, the class clown s**... himself on purpose Everyone loves self-defecating humor
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5th Grade One Liners
Which 5th grade one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 5th grade? I can suggest the ones about 4th grade and 2nd grade.
- What are the toughest 4 years of a football player's life? 5th grade
5th Grade Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about 5th grade you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean 3rd grade jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 5th grade pranks.
This no kidding came from my 10 y/o today from his class. 5th Grade
Student #1: was acting rude and obnoxious toward other students in class
My kiddo: "Stop acting rude"
Student #1: "Make me"
Student #2 (a friend of my kiddo): "Your Mom and Dad already made that mistake."
A teacher is teaching a 5th grade class on Zoom.
The teacher says to Susie, "Tell the class why you want to be a teacher."
Susie says, "Actually, I want to be a stripper."
The teacher asks, "A stripper? I thought you wanted to do my noble profession."
Susie says, "That was before I saw your tiny apartment."
In my outdoor nature class I pointed out some lichen growing on granite and taught them the mnemonic Freddie f**... took a likin' to Alice algae to teach them about the symbiotic relationship. One 5th grade boy responded
Looks like their relationship is on the rocks. He'll make a great dad some day.
"Did you hear about that actress who killed her self?"
"Did you hear about that actress who killed herself? Her name was Reese something-or-other... I don't remember."
"Witherspoon?"
"No, no... with her knife."
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A joke my 5th grade teacher told me years ago
I had a student named Miles in my 5th grade class who moved to JAPAN. Had to change his name to Kilometers.
Slight adjustment to an originally hilarious joke that was shunned on a technicality. #IwasOnlyJoking
American School System
5th grade: You better learn cursive, because in middle school; all your work will be done in cursive!
6th grade: Just write print it's easier to read
Highschool: You better learn these core classes because they'll be required to know before college!
College: You have to retake and pay for these Core Classes for your Degree
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th-grade class
a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms."Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded...
"Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
High Urinals
High Urinals
A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon) - but mostly to see the horses.
When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinals.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, helping them to hold on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, 'You must be in the 5th grade.' 'No, ma'am', he replied. 'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.'