Cheeky 50th Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
Y'know, one would have been enough.
birthday card
As i handed my mom her 50th birthday card today she said " One would've done"
Reason for longevity - Ma and Pa are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.......
they are sitting on a bench side by side and Ma says: "I'm getting tired, are you?" And Pa replies: "That's okay, honey, I'm getting tired of you too."
50th Anniversary Tour
This year, 60s rock group The Byrds will be embarking on a tour of the United States for the 50th anniversary of their formation. The band announced that former President George Bush will be joining them on stage for several of their songs, however, Bush will be playing both guitar and keyboards in order to cut costs. This just goes to show that a Bush in the band is worth two of the Byrds.
Wedding anniversary
A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.
On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together.
He replies, "No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you.
Tomorrow I would've been a free man! "
The air hostess comes to know that the old married couple is...
flying to Hawaii on their 50th marriage anniversary.
She asks them how it feels to be married for so long.
The old man replies: "It all felt like 5 minutes..."
The air hostess was about to reply on the profoundness of what he said, when he earned a slap from the old lady for his next word:
"...underwater".
--Taken from All in a day's work; Reader's digest
This week, the hospital gave a cake decorated with 50 painted eyes for the optometrist's 50th birthday...
...the following week it was the gynecologist's birthday. He didn't show up.
Today would have been my moms 50th birthday...
but she was born in January.
A man grows tired of his relationship with his wife
On their 25th anniversary, the man planned a vacation trip.
Man: Let's go on a vacation, just the two of us.
Wife: (gets exited) Really? Where are we going?
Man: How about an adventure in the jungles of Africa?
Wife: That would be really nice! What about on our 50th?
Man: I'll come back for you.
A 70 year old man buys his wife a present
For their 50th wedding anniversary a 70 year old man buys his wife a see through night gown
The next day he goes back to the store and returns it
Cashier: I'm sorry you were unsatisfied with our product. May I ask what was wrong with it?
70 Year Old Man: It was all wrinkled
I took my wife to Hawaii for our 25th wedding anniversary. You know what I did for our 50th?
Went back and got her.
You can explore 50th husband reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean 50th ninth dad jokes. There are also 50th puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Today would've been my mother's 50th birthday... But due to drug use and bad choices
We all forgot about it
A cashier is ringing up a customer...
Customer: Alright here you go $6.43, perfect change!
Cashier: CONGRATULATIONS! You're the 50th person to pay in exact change, you know what you get now?
Customer: No, what?!?
Cashier: Nothing!
last weekend was my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary
So we threw them a g**....
A couple is being interviewed for they 50th marriage anniversary
Journalist: In fifty years of marriage you never though about a divorce?
Wife: h**..., yes. Divorce, never!
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card he said to me:
One would have been enough.
It was a couples 25th anniversary
The husband told his wife, "im taking you to china!" the wife then asked what they would do for their 50th anniversary to which he responded "thats when i will pick you up!"
An Asian couple are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. After a wonderful dinner with family and friends they're back home reminiscing when the wife suddenly turns to the husband with an eyebrow raised suggestively and says "Since it our 50th anniversary, tonight we do whatever you want."
"Anything?" he asks. "Anything!" she replies. The man thinks for a long time then gives her a devilish look and says, "I want 69." The wife looks bewildered. "You want Beef & Broccoli now?!"
My dad teared up after I gave him his 50th birthday card
He said "One would have been enough"
Two guys moving a futon to the 100th floor(this is a joke in my native language idk how good it can be translated)
Two guys moving a futon to the 100th floor.
At the 25th floor:
1st guy: T..th...
2nd guy: Tell me when we arrive
At the 50th floor:
1st guy:T..thi...
2nd guy: Tell me when we arrive we dont have time
At the 100th floor:
2nd guy: So what did u want to tell me?
1st guy:T..this is the wrong hotel
An Old Couple Sat Down To Eat Breakfast
Wife: Honey, do you know what today is?
Husband: I believe it is our 50th wedding anniversary.
Wife: Thats right. Do you remember what we were doing right now 50 years ago?
Husband: We were sitting at this very table, eating breakfast n**....
Wife: Thats right. Want to do it again?
Husband: Sure.
*both remove clothes and sit back down*
Wife: Honey, my b**... are as hot as they were 50 years ago.
Husband: Yes they are, one is in your coffee and one is in your oatmeal.
Wife: Honey, what will you give me for our 25th anniversary? Husband: A trip to Paris. Wife: Wow! That's wonderful! How about for our 50th?
I'll pick you back up.
Key to a successful marriage
A couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. The husband was asked what was the secret to their marriage. He replied, When we first got married, we agreed that I would make all the big decisions and she would make all the small decisions. So far it's been all small decisions.
My mum burst into tears as I placed her 50th Birthday card in her hands, she said
"One really would of been enough"
It was my mother's 50th birthday the other day. I handed her her 50th card.
She says why have you got me so many cards?!
