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50000 Jokes

55 50000 jokes and hilarious 50000 puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 50000 that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest 50000 Short Jokes

Short 50000 jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 50000 humour may include short jokes also.

  1. You're offered $50,000, but if you accept it the person you hate the most in the entire world will get $100,000. You taking it? Yes why wouldn't I want $150,000.
  2. Someone once asked me if I would shoot my boss for $50,000... ...I said yes, I would definitely do that, but it's going to take me a while to come up with $50,000.
  3. Neighbor: I'll have you know our lawyer has a $50,000 retainer! Me: Wow, how bad are his teeth?
  4. A man is being offered a job "What's the pay like?" he asks.
    "We'll pay you $50,000 this year and $100,000 next year."
    "Okay, I'll come back next year"
  5. The latest hipster music craze plays songs at a frequency of 50000 Hz. You probably never heard of it.
  6. What's the difference between a jazz guitarist and a rock guitarist? A rock guitarist plays 10 chords for 50,000 people,and a jazz guitarist plays 50,000 chords for 10 people.
  7. Best math teacher ever! Mr. Johnson never makes us do any work, so all 25 of us are pitching in $6.17 to get him that cool new $50,000 corvette he wants. Thanks Mr. Johnson!
  8. You're offered 50000$,but if you accept it,the person you hate most in the world gets 100000$. What do you do? .
    .
    .
    .
    Yes. Why wouldn't I want 150000$.
  9. Never let anyone tell you that you're worthless Piece by piece, I could make 50,000 dollars off of you on the black market.
  10. 50,000 battered women in America every year.. and I've been eating mine plain this whole time.

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50000 One Liners

Which 50000 one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 50000? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. My girlfriend brought 50,000 bees and put them in our back yard. She's a keeper.
  2. 50,000 battered women a year... And I still eat mine plain!
  3. A hipster's favorite frequency is 50,000 Hz You've probably never heard it
  4. 50,000 Germans walk into poland Punchlines in the title
  5. I feel like Hilary Clinton I just deleated 50,000 emails
  6. What do you call 50,000 feminist at the bottom of the ocean?
  7. Get Free Credit ( $ 50.000)
  8. What did the french say to the n**... when they invaded ? Table for 50,000?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about 50000 can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of 50000 puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

50000 Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about 50000 you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make 50000 prank.

The Penguin Dilemma!

There's a truck driver hauling a load of Penguins going to the Zoo and his truck breaks down, so along comes another truck driver, stops and ask him if he needs help.
The truck driver says he has to get this load of Penguins to the zoo on time. The other truck driver says "well my trailers empty I could take the for you. The truck driver says "thats a great idea if you take these Penguins to the Zoo for me I'll give you $500.00." So the other driver says "you got a deal."
So a few hours go by and the broken down truck driver sees the other truck driver walking and the Penguins are following him. the truck driver says "hey, I gave you $500.00 to take those Penguins to the Zoo for me! " The other driver says, "I did take them to the Zoo, I had money left over and now I'm taking them to the movies!

A man phones the house and the maid picks up the
phone.

A man phones the house and the maid picks up the phone. He asks the maid where the wife is. She says the wife is in the bed with a man. After a long pause, the man gathers himself together asks the maid to do a favor for him and promises her $50,000. He asks her to go to his study room and to get a gun from the cabinet table and to shoot both the woman and the man. The maid puts down the phone receiver and the man can hear two gunshots.
The maid cames back panting and stressed and picks up the phone again and says now what. The man says to the maid to dump the bodies in their pool.
The maid pauses a little and says "But you don't have a pool". There is a pause on the other line. "Oh sorry, wrong number."

Leather Worker

There is a doctor who has collected foreskins the entire 20 yrs he has been a Dr, after he retires he takes them to a leather worker to see what he can do with them, the guy tells the Dr to come back in a few days, so the Dr. leaves and returns after 3 days, he goes to the leather worker and says "What did you make me?" the guy pulls out a wallet, the Dr. says "A wallet is all you made? I brought you in 50,000 foreskins and all you made was a wallet?" the leather worker says "It's a wallet now, but if you rub it a few times, it turns into a suitcase."

A guy walks in to a restroom.....

and sees president Obama and president Putin at the u**... talking.
The guy: what are you talking about?
Obama: How we are going to start world war 3.
Putin: Our idea is that we kill 50.000 Ukrainians and an it-consultant.
The guy: why an it-consultant?
Putin says to Obama.
Ha, told you no one would care about the Ukrainians!

A wife on her deathbed.

An old man is at his wife's deathbed in their home.
The old woman whispers to her husband.
"My husband, I want to show you something before I pass."
The husband replies "what is it my dear? I'll do anything you ask.."
"I want you to open the chest locker at the foot of the bed that I always kept locked."
"I will! I've always wondered what was in there."
The old man opens the chest and inside is $50,000 and 3 ears of corn.
"I have to ask honey, why is there 3 ears of corn in there."
"Well," the old woman answered. "Every time I committed adultery I would put an ear of corn in the chest."
"Oh, I forgive you my love, it's been 60 years. But why the $50 thousand?"
"When I collected a bushel, I sold it."
I read this joke in a Readers Digest in a doctors office 14 years ago. Never forgot it.

A man brings 3 scientists into a large room...

...a biologist, an engineer, and a physicist. In corner of the room is an elephant, and nothing else. The man tells the scientists "If you can correctly identify this animal, I will give you $50,000". He lets each of the scientists examine the animal, and then separates them.
The man first asks the biologist, "What is this animal?". The biologist responds "That is an African Elephant, *Loxodonta africana*". The biologist takes his $50,000 and leaves.
The man then asks the engineer, "What is this animal?". The engineer responds "That is an elephant, but lets say two elephants to be sure". The engineer takes his $50,000 and leaves.
The man finally asks the physicist, "What is this animal?". The physicist says "Well, let's first assume its a perfect sphere in a vacuum..."

The f**...

One day a man dies and in his will, he leaves $300,000 to his stock broker, financial adviser and his lawyer, each one receiving $100,000. In the will he also states that he wants all 3 of them to to leave half of the money they received ($50,000) in his coffin after the f**....
The day of the f**... comes and each man approaches the coffin to do what was asked of them and once they're all done, they meet up at the bar.
After a few drinks, the stock broker speaks up "I gotta be honest with you guys. I only left $10,000 in the coffin. But I mean, it's not like he'll be able to spend it, right?"
To which the financial adviser admits "Hey, don't feel bad. I only left $5,000 in the coffin. I mean, is he really expecting us to throw away that much money?"
At which point the lawyer speaks up and says in a disapproving tone "I can't believe you guys would be so greedy! I'll have you know I left a check for the full $50,000 in his coffin like he asked!"

119 years ago today a Canadian cargo vessel sank off the coast of New York, her cargo 50,000 cases of mayonnaise.

And that's why we celebrate Sinko de Mayo

I have $5,000,000 in one pocket and $2,000,000 in the other. What do I have?

Someone else's pants.

Only 50,000 BC kids will get this

Ugga: Ung b**... uhh mang b**... tankun ung
b**...: Nanga uhh ung tangung uhh...unganun
Ugga: Inga b**... langa ung ugg Ugga?
b**...: Ung b**... uhh tangung angu OOK OOOOOK

If I had $500,000 for every existing gender

I'd be a millionaire.

Jewish Judge

Taking his seat in his chambers, the smart, HONEST Jewish Judge faced the opposing lawyers.

"So, the Judge said, I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."

Both lawyers became uncomfortable.

" You, attorney John, gave me $ 50,000 and you, attorney Sam, gave me $ 60,000."

The judge now reached into his pocket and pulled out $ 10,000, He handed it to attorney Sam and said...

"Now that I'm returning $ 10,000, we're going to decide this case solely on its merits.

How Many Aerospace Engineers Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

Although the exact number is a closely held state secret requiring level 5 security clearance, I can assure you, that for $50,000, it *can* be done.

Donald Trump was on a fact finding visit to Israel

When he suffered a heart attack and died. The undertaker tells the American diplomats accompanying him that he can have his body transported back to the USA for a fee of $50,000 or they can bury him in the holy land for Just $100.
The diplomats go into a corner and discuss for a few minutes, they come back to the undertaker and tell him they want Trump shipped home.
The undertaker looks puzzled, Why would you pay all that money when it would be wonderful for him to be buried here in the holy land for Just $100?
The diplomats replied Long a go a man died and was buried here and he rose from the dead, we just can't take that risk

The population is running low so the government decides to pay its citizens $50,000 for every child they have at that time

A man hears the news and says to his wife, "I have a kid with my girlfriend. I'm going to bring him so we can add him to our 4 kids." He goes for the kid and when he comes back, he only finds one of his kids remaining.
Stunned, he asks: "Where are the other 3?"
"You are not the only one who heard the news." His wife replies.

Two Texans are sitting on a plane from Dallas and an old Jewish Texan is sitting between them.

The first Texan says, "My name is
Roger. I own 250,000 acres. I have 10,000 head of cattle and they call my place The Jolly Roger."
The second Texan says, "My name is John. I own 350,000 acres. I have 50,000 head of cattle and they call my place Big John's."
They both look down at the Jewish man who says, "My name is Irving and I own only 300 acres."
Roger looks down at him and say, "300
Acres? What do you raise?"
Nothing" Irving says.
"Well then, what do you call it?" Asked John.
"Downtown Dallas."

China's new f**... recognition technology is amazing

In a concert of 50,000 chinese fans it was able to identify a single criminal ...
50,000 times.

Good ol'e USA

18: can I buy a bottle of wine?
USA: no that's i**... & irresponsible
18: can I go $50,000 into debt for education?
USA: we encourage it

At this moment, 14,000 people are having s**......

...25,000 are making out and 50,000 embracing. Meanwhile, you are just reading this....

Can you guess what the below means?

£,*_ /^€%@ ×€** €,#÷=@/!,#
This is a secret code, if you can solve it you have an iq above 50000.

Valentines special! $500.00

We arrest you in front of your wife and release you on Sunday.
It includes fishing license, poles, boat fees, tent, beers and all necessities for the whole weekend.
We come in full police uniforms and blue lights.

Man is at a job interview

Interviewer: Well, to start out in the beginning, you will be at a $30,000 salary, but later that number could go up to $50,000 or even $60,000.
Man: Ok, I'll come back later then.

100K people are having s**... right now.

75,000 are kissing
50,000 are hugging
And you? Well, you're reading this.
^(Trust me, I'm not happy about this either)

A local Game Stop burnt to the ground. An insurance adjuster came out to inspect the damage

After looking at the rubble, he asked the manager if the building was a new structure. The manager said, "I don't think so, it was built in the 1970s."
The adjuster said, "I that case, the best payout I can give you is $50,000. If it was a new building I could have given you 95,000.

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a monkey.

The shop owner points to 3 identical looking monkeys on a perch and says the monkey on the left cost $ 500.00
Why does that one cost so much? asked the shopper.
The owner says well the monkey knows how to use a computer.
The man then asks about the next monkey and was told that this one cost $1000.00,…
because it can do everything the other monkey can do plus he knows the Unix operating system.
Naturally the increasingly startled man asks about the third monkey to be told that it costs $ 2000.00
Needles to say this begs the question.
What can it do?
To which the owner replies:
To be honest I have never seen him do a thing but the other two call him BOSS.

A man went to his lawyer and told him, 'My neighbour owes me ₹ 50000 and he won't pay up.

'What should I do?'
'Do you have any proof he owes you the money?' asked the lawyer.
'Nope,' replied the man.
'OK, then write him a letter asking him for the ₹1,00000 he owed you,' said the lawyer.
'But it's only ₹50000,' replied the man.
'Precisely. That's what he will reply and then you'll have your proof!'

School days...

Teacher: If income tax is 20% and your dad earns $50,000, how much tax does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: Let's try again. If income tax is 30% and your dad earns $100000, how much does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: Alright, last try. If income tax is %50 and your dad earns $1000000, how much does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: you don't know your percentages.
Kid: you don't know my dad.

2 guys sitting in a bar watching the news.

A news story comes on about someone threatening to jump off a building. o**... turns to the other and says, " I'll bet you $500.00 he will jump". The other guy says, "You're on"!
A few minutes pass and the guy on TV jumps.
The loser of the bet says, " Well, here is your $500.00. I lost fair and square". The winner says, " Thanks, but I can't take your money. I saw this on the news earlier today".
The loser says, " I saw it too. But I didn't think he'd be dumb enough to do it again".

Boris saves Christmas .....

Driver shortages will soon be a thing of the past as Boris has personally ordered 50000 fridge magnets from Amazon today. A reporter asked how that will help to which trolley replies "well we know there are two poles in a magnet..."

I handed my wife a picture of a $50,000 Birkin designer handbag. "This is what I'm getting you for our anniversary!" She was so happy she started crying.

Who knew a simple photograph would mean so much to her?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these 50000 jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.