50 Shades Jokes

92 50 shades jokes and hilarious 50 shades puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 50 shades that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest 50 Shades Short Jokes

Short 50 shades jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 50 shades humour may include short fifty shades jokes also.

  1. I really wish some of the fantasies in 50 shades of grey were real... like how she got a job right out of college.
  2. I wish I could re-enact the fantasy scenes from 50 Shades of Grey... For example, the one where she gets a job right out of college.
  3. 50 shades of grey would be a perfect title for a movie about a dog reading a map of the US.
  4. This week Lego Batman sold more tickets than the sequel to 50 Shades of Grey... When asked to comment about this 50 Shades stated "It's okay, I like to be dominated."
  5. My 8-Year old patient was so pround, mom was not. Q: What type of bees make milk?
    A: BOO-Bees!
    And then he just couldn't stop laughing. Mom turned 50 shades of red and blamed dad. Good times.
  6. I want to reenact a scene from 50 Shades of Gray.... Y'know the one where she gets a job right out of college.
  7. Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.
  8. I'm starting the dishes, and my wife is getting ready to go watch 50 Shades of Grey I guess you could say we are BOTH pre soaking.
  9. 50 shades of grey Girl 1: Hey have you read yet?
    Girl 2: Yes! From cover to cover!
    Girl 1: And the index?
    Girl 2: Exhausted...
  10. 50 shades of grey is a genius title but had they thought about it They should have added 19 more shades

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50 Shades One Liners

Which 50 shades one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 50 shades? I can suggest the ones about fifty shades of grey and twilight.

  1. My wife said she wanted to see 50 Shades of Grey. So I took a photo of her hair!
  2. I now understand the 52 genders Male, female, and 50 shades of gay
  3. 50 SHADES ADMISSION 82% of women have admitted to reading 50 Shades of Grey with one hand
  4. What do you call a multi-cultural, homosexual convention? 50 Shades of Gay
  5. Whats's Wolverine's favoirte book? 50 Shades of Jean Grey
  6. What's Mrs. Clause's favorite romance novel? 50 shades of sleigh.
  7. What do you get if you cross 50 Shades of Grey with Blurred Lines? A greydient
  8. What kind of headphones are sold in 50 shades of grey? Beats
  9. What book does a gay horse read? 50 Shades of HaaAAaaayyy.
  10. 50 Fifty Shades of Green
  11. If 50 Shades of Grey were in the NFL...'d be on the Commissioner's Exempt list.
  12. Is your favorite color Grey? Because I've seen 50 Shades too many...
  13. What do you call a romance between two men? 50 shades of hey
  14. I'm writing a book about common Mexican names... I'm gonna call it "50 Shades of José"
  15. The UK title of 50 Shades of Grey "The Sky"

50 Shades Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about 50 shades you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shades jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 50 shades pranks.

50 Shades of Spalding Gray

7 years of decay and the East River.

What colour were the old man's p**...?

50 shades of grey.

50 Shades of Grey

The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
T'was "fifty shades of grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to s**....
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominator !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there n**... and n**...
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left t*t!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.

The fishing trip

So four high school friends have gone fishing together every year for the last two decades. That was until this year, when Jim had to inform the group he couldn't make it.
"Look, it's the wife. She's been saying I haven't been spending enough time with her."
Of course, the others were upset but told him they couldn't rearrange all the schedules to make it work out this year, so they stuck to the date.
The morning of trip, the guys are unloading on the dock when Jim comes running up with his stuff.
"What's the deal, Jim?" asked one of the fishermen.
"So I came home from work last night and I found my wife in the bedroom. She was laying down with a spool of rope, some duct tape and a ball-gag, and told me how she's been reading *50 Shades of Grey*. She told me to tie her up and do anything I want. So, uhh, here I am!"

50 shades of grey

Girl 1: have you read ?
Girl 2: yep from cover to cover!
Girl 1: what about the index?
Gorl 2: tired from over use...

What would the gay guy's version of 50 shades of grey be?

50 shades of heeeeey.

My dad just got a book from B&Q

It's called 50 Shades of Grey

Did you hear The Fonz wrote an e**... novel?

It's called 50 Shades of Eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

So I just finished reading 50 Shades of Gray...

There were too many holes in the plot.

What do you call a n**... old man crawling out of a coal mine?

50 shades of grey's anatomy

Experts are predicting a very wet day tomorrow...

They are urging cinemas showing 50 shades of grey to brace themselves.

I just saw the movie 50 Shades of gray

You could say it had a huge c**....

50 Shades of Gray

I'm not really interested in watching that film. In order to make me see it, someone would literally have to tie me up and drag me there.

If Barnes and Noble started selling paint, what colors would they sell?..

50 Shades of Grey

Veggietales is making a version of 50 Shades of Grey...

It's called "The Artichoke Hearts".

I saw 50 Shades Of Grey the other day

Not in a theater. It was a home video of my grandma's bush

50 Shades of Grey

It's basically Twilight for adults

What's a gay horse's favorite book?

50 shades of haaaaaaayyyyyyyy 💁

A Dogs Life: 50 shades of Grey

Chapter 1: The chase

George Costanza yells out in the cinema during 50 shades..

"That's gotta hurt!"

Why do women find the guy in 50 Shades of Grey s**...?

beats me

My wife says we should spice up our s**... life with some stuff from 50 Shades of Gray.

First, she wants me to become a billionaire.

50 Shades of Little Johnny

Johnny's Mum was cleaning under his bed when she found a stash of b**... magazines.
A bit concerned she asks Johnny's Dad what he thinks she should do.
Johnny's Dad responds "whatever else you do, don't s**... him"

There's one fantasy scene in 50 Shades of Grey that I'd love to be part of in real life...

...specifically, the part where the protagonist gets a job straight out of college.

My wifes hair is so s**..., Its 50 shades of grey.

My girlfriend went to 50 Shades of Grey last night, she said she wasn't impressed

Some girl wanted me to take her to see 50 Shades of Grey...

So I took her to Sherwin-Williams.

50 shades of grey broke a lot of box office records for R-rated movies…

Well first it tied them, then it beat them.

What's the R-18 version of Blues Clues?

50 Shades of Blue

I heard they were gonna make a movie about Michael Jackson

It was gonna be titled "50 Shades of Black".

After reading, 50 shades of grey, my wife asked to treat her like Anastasia

... so I got the Bolshevik secret police to m**... her family and I sold her to a Russian pig farmer.

50 Shades

He slowly but firmly grabs my t**.... I try to say goodbye and I choke. I try to walk away and I stumble...'
- of Macy Gray.

Man goes into a hardware store...

Says to the shopkeeper, "Can I have a roll of masking tape and some zip ties"
Shopkeeper smiles knowingly, "I'm sorry, thanks to the 50 Shades of Gray film we're out of stock"
The man winces and replies, "OK, just give me a chainsaw and some bin bags"

My dog's favorite movie is 50 Shades of Grey...

because the s**... is rrruff.

What do you first see when you enter an Indian community?

50 shades of brown ;)

What do you call the kinkiest/nastiest move from 50 Shades of Gray?

The Gray Poupon

Four guys have been going to the same golfing trip to St Andrews for many years...

Two days before the group is to leave, Jack's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Jack's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later, the three get to St Andrews only to find Jack sitting at the bar with four drinks set up!

"Wow, Jack, how long you been here, and how did you talk your misses into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since last night..

Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and
put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie.

She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well she's been
reading '50 Shades of Grey'......

On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie
her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.

And then she said, 'Do whatever you want.'

So--- Here I am!

What's the best way for a lady to read 50 Shades of Grey?

To flick through it as fast as possible.

I read a historical erotica

It's called 50 shades of CGP Grey

Literary alcohol puns

I saw someone post some the other day. Has anyone thought of any new ones?
Here are a couple my friends and I thought of...
50 Shades of Grey Goose,
Into the Wild Turkey,
Beer and Present Danger,
Patriot Drinking Games,
The Sum of All Beers (I like Tom Clancy),
The Red Badge of Liquid Courage.

You hear about that film parody of 50 Shades of Gray starring Ellen Degeneres that played like a literary classic?

It's called Dory 'N Gray.

What book does the Queen of England read to get herself into a raunchy mood?

50 Shades of Earl Grey

Ever since they brought out a movie based on the book...

... it's impossible to tell if girls are referring to the movie or the book when they say 'I was just flicking through 50 Shades of Grey.'

Do you want to satisfy your h**... food f**...?

Buy my new book: 50 Shades of Grey Poupon

I was gunna write the great American nursing home romance novel...

....but the title "50 Shades of Grey" was already taken.

Going To The Movies

I told my wife I wanted to watch a movie about a billionaire p**... with a penchant for darkness, inflicting violence and dressing up in masks.
She got excited and asked, "Are we really go to see *50 Shades*?"
I laughed and told her I was talking about *The Lego Batman Movie*.

I was so excited. My wife said she wanted to live the life of 50 Shades of Grey ...

Then she stopped dyeing her hair.

What's a l**... favorite movie?

50 Shades of Gay

Television was never really black and white before color

It was basically just 50 shades of gray

Occupied with taking the virginity of virgins There is so much s**... in the Quran, hadiths and tafsirs,

you'll forget 50 shades of grey

My horse keeps getting a**... whenever I try and feed him

Maybe I should stop feeding him 50 shades of hay

In my girlfriend's copy of 50 Shades of Grey I found a photo of me with the word "scumbag" written as a caption.

I guess I'm not in her good books.