50 Pence Jokes

7 50 pence jokes and hilarious 50 pence puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 50 pence that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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50 Pence Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good 50 pence joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Three Universities ...

Three Universities all done research into why a mans bell end is shaped the way it is.
Oxford Uni spent £100,000 in 6 months and came to the conclusion it is for the pleasure of the woman.
Cambridge Uni spent £250,000 in 18 months and came to the conclusion its for the pleasure of the man.
Dublin Uni spent 50 pence in 5 minutes and came to the conclusion its to stop your hand flying off the end.

A Man Walks Into A Bar.....

He says to the bartender gimme a shot of whiskey. He get's it and downs it. He then says get me a glass of whiskey, he get's that and downs it. Then he asks for a pint of whiskey, the bartender says "Well he won't down this one" the guy downs it. by now he's swaying and staggering, he then asks for two pints of whiskey. The bartender says "Why are you downing all these whiskeys so fast?" the guy replies "Because I've only got 50 pence"

Bartender joke

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender,
12 shots of your finest tequila please
So the bartender starts pouring the shots and on the last one he notices that half of them have been drunk already so the bartender says
Whats going on pal, you drunk those really fast
The guy replies
Youd drink this much if you had what i have
The bartender then asks
What do you have?
He replied i have 50 pence and then made a bee line for the door

A Jewish boy asks his Father...

A Jewish boy asks his Father, "Dad, can i have 50 pence please?
His Father replies, "40 pence! What do you want 30 pence for?"

50 Cent moves to the UK

He'd be called "50 Pence".

A £1 and a £2

A £1 and a £2 are making drugs in a shack.
There's a 50 pence on watch. One day while £1 amd £2 are making drugs the 50p bursts through the doors and says "We've got coppers."

The Three Paddies Meet a Wizard

p**... Englishman, p**... Scotsman and p**... Irishman are walking in the woods when they stumble across an old s**... wizard down on his luck. "Wishes for a tenner!" shouts the wizard. "I'll give you anything you like, but I'm sick and tired of making knobs bigger, so don't ask!"
Without wasting a second, p**... Englishman hands the wizard a ten pound note. "I want my wife to be ten times more adventurous in bed."
The s**... wizard nods. "Uxor non inhibitoris! An easy one! It is done!"
p**... Scotsman counts out nine pound coins and two 50 pence pieces. "My wife and I are happy enough, but I'm terrified of becoming a grandfather before I'm 50. I'd be obliged if you could fix it so my teenage daughters can't get pregnant before they're 25."
The s**... wizard nods. "Filiae non fertilismus! Very wise! It is done!"
The s**... wizard turns to p**... Irishman, who has his hands planted firmly in his pockets and looks ready to move on. "No wish for you?"
"I'll save my tenner," says p**... Irishman, with a grin. "These boys have me covered!"

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