4th Of July Jokes
88 4th of july jokes and hilarious 4th of july puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 4th of july that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready to ignite the spark of laughter this Independence Day with a spectacular collection of 4th of July jokes! As we prepare to celebrate America's birthday, what better way to commemorate the occasion than with a side-splitting dose of humor? Whether you're attending a backyard barbecue, hosting a patriotic party, or simply enjoying the festivities with friends and family, these jokes are perfect for adding an extra burst of joy to your 4th of July celebrations.
These light-hearted quips about American history, freedom, and red, white, and blue traditions will brighten up the atmosphere and create moments of shared amusement. So, wave your flag high and get ready to ignite the fireworks of laughter with these hilarious 4th of July jokes! You can also have some fun with The Best 47 4th of July Puns.
Funniest 4th Of July Short Jokes
Short 4th of july jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 4th of july humour may include short fourth of july jokes also.
- 4th of July, The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order.
- As a non-American, I love seeing Americans saying Happy 4th of July. It's the only time Americans pronounce dates correctly.
- I don't see why we Brits don't celebrate the 4th of July. Surely 239 years of being officially separate from America is something to be happy about.
- My daughter was born this morning, July 4th. It's the day I lost my independence.
(This is also true, she was born around 2:30 this morning and baby and mama are doing well). - This 4th of July, the British should celebrate independence day too. Now they feel like they dodged a bullet.
- I held a door open for an Asian guy and he said "sank you" so i punched him in the face. Serves him right for bringing up Pearl Harbor like that.
PS: Happy 4th of July - Today in the UK we celebrate the 4th of July. The day the average IQ of the British Empire jumped 100 points with a single signature.
- What's the Difference Between February 14th and July 4th? There isn't any, at least to me, because they're both Independence Day.
- Brits have more reason than most to celebrate 4th of July Surely 241 years of officially being separated from America is something to be happy about
- July 4th PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers.
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4th Of July One Liners
Which 4th of july one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 4th of july? I can suggest the ones about happy 4th and independence day.
- Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire. Fire-works on 4th of July.
- Totally sick of idiots letting firework off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!! Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!
- I brought a date to the 4th of July party... ...really sweetened up the fruit salad.
- Not everyone has off for the 4th of July.. Fire works.
- The 4th of July is an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.
- Where did the fire go on 4th of july? Firework
- Is there a 4th of July in the UK? Yeah… right after the 3rd of July.
- What do they do for the 4th of July in England? Sulk.
- I broke up with my girlfriend on the 4th of July... It was a Declaration of Independence.
- Why do Pakistanis celebrate July 4th? Because all the drone pilots are on vacation
- What kind of work do firefighters do on the 4th of July? Firework
- Can confirm: England Does have a 4th of July And we even get it first!
- Why doesn't America knock? Because freedom rings!
Happy 4th of July! - My girlfriend broke up with me on July 4th. She said she needed more independence.
- On the 4th of july firefighters fight fire with fire Because fireworks
Happy 4th Of July Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about 4th of july you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fourth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 4th of july pranks.
Q: Does Britain have a 4th of July?
A: Yes, and a 5th and a 6th too
July 4th is Independence day.
And the day Chuck Norris was born.
Coincidence? I think not.
Need help: looking for parade jokes. (I know, right?)
I was asked to announce the 4th of July parade in my small hometown. Was wondering if anyone here has been at a parade and heard something funny.
The only thing to work off of right now is that Josh Duhmel is announcing the 4th of July parade in a larger town about 20 minutes away.
Thanks
What dance do Americans do on the 4th of July?
The indepen-dance.
4th of july
British people say that we as Americans go overboard with the 4th of July.
When really the only thing that went overboard was their tea
He says to his wife: "Sleeping with you is like Christmas, Birthday and the 4th of July in a single moment."
To which she replies: "Well, each of those dates is just once per year too."
Happy 4th of July. If there is one thing we have to show for after all these years...
Going from revolting against white kings and queens to revolting against a female Asian CEO....progress.
What's the difference between the United States and a yogurt?
That after 200 years, a yogurt can actually build a community.
Haha, happy late 4th of July.
What do FBI agents grill for the 4th of July?
Hillary.
I'm going to give my neighbors calendars for Christmas.
They obviously don't know when 4th of July is because I hear fireworks everywhere.
Costco is closed for the 4th of July
I can't understand why. Everything they sell is made in China.
Some ISIS Guys Showed Up To My 4th of July Barbecue...
It was lit
How do mushits celebrate the 4th of July?
They are the fireworks
4th of July Fireworks
Nothing says America like watching money go up in smoke!
I guess I'll be visiting jewellery stores in Indianapolis on 4th of July
It is Indy-pendants day after all
Every 4th of July, America sends Britain a locket with a little tiny picture of the United States in it. They want to remind the crown that America is still...
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
In *da* pendent
4th July
If the 4th of July is independence Day, why isn't 17th February Shawshank redemption day? It was a much better film.
Why the 4th of July?
J is the 1st,
U is the 2nd,
L is the 3rd,
Y is the 4th
Happy 4th of July!
Do not let the fact that today is July 4th distract you
From the fact that England blew a 13 colony lead
Did you hear about the program they wrote on July 4th 1776?
It was only one line:
int dependence;
I broke up with my wife on the 4th of July
I declared my independence
Memes in the EU on July 4th
Memes
The FBI just thwarted a July 4th t**... attack in Cleveland.
But they couldn't stop LeBron from dropping a bomb on the city last night.
This 4th of July, remember: Alcohol and Fireworks do NOT mix
Spilling even a little beer on a fuse can ruin fireworks.
Does Britain have the 4th of July?
Or do the calendars just go July 3rd, July 5th, July 6th?
What do you call a US citizen with a pessimistic attitude?
An American't
Happy July 4th.
July 4th!
How do you have fun on the 4th?
And: Buy a 5th on the 3rd.
July 4th, 1776
British: Just saying it, doesn't make you independent..
Thomas Jefferson: I didn't say it, I declared it.
My dog hates the 4th of July
Not because of the fireworks or anything, he's just going through a communist phase right now
Merry 4th of July! The difference between Uncle Sam and Santa Claus is...
Santa Claus gives notes with his presents... Uncle Sam takes note of your presence.
Amidst all of the distractions on this 4th of July, let's not forget what we're celebrating
That the British blew a 13 colony lead
I put a picture of the USA in a heart locket to celebrate the 4th of July...
Now it is truly independent
I'm not sure I really enjoy this whole 4th of July thing...
I guess it just lost its spark.
Republicans think every day is july 4th
Democrats think every day is april 15th
What day is it today.
If your an American. Everyday is the 4th of Ju-ly.
Do you think my neighbor might be a r**...?
On the 4th of July he shot his pet goat and BBQ'd the kid. Do you think he might be a Red Neck?
What do John Cena and 4th of July fireworks in Alaska have in common?
Can't see 'em.
Ed Sheeran's Perfect Timing
Some background is required to understand this beautiful joke.
My best friend is engaged to my little brother and the summer after our senior year she had to get surgery because her legs were growing inward. They broke her femurs and inserted metal rods to help them grow back straight, and they took them out a few months later. During the time after the surgery she couldn't walk and got around in a wheelchair.
July 4th, after her surgery, my brother was watching fireworks with her and her family. Ed Sheeran's song "Thinking Out Loud" came on the radio. Without missing a beat my brother makes eye contact with her and sings:
"When your legs don't work like they used to before"
Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.
Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.
If something goes wrong with the 4th of July celebration at Mt. Rushmore...
It will be a monumental disaster.
Last year I blew all my fingers off on the 4th of July
And now my friends say they don't trust me. They say they can't count on me.
Happy early 4th of July everyone
And to those who've been a defendant a fourth time then happy 4th of jury
Most people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July
Except fire. Fire works on the 4th of July.
Many veterans experience PTSD from the loud bangs of fireworks around holidays like 4th of July and New Years. My advice to them is to use noise-cancelling headphones, Netflix, and pharmaceutical-grade w**....
Just like the children of Kabul.
4th of July
A lot of people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July. Not fire though.
Fire works on July 4th
This 4th of July it's important to remember that calling all Americans "Yanks" is a racist stereotype.
We have r**... and h**... too!
4th of July picnic
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How was your 4th of July picnic?" the bartender asks. "Horrible. Everyone came down with food poisoning," the guy replies. "I knew the hot dogs might have gone bad, but turns out the brats were the wurst."
On a blind date, the girl told me, Tell me a little bit about yourself.
Me: I'm terrible with dates.
Her: Don't worry. You're doing fine so far.
Me: Christmas is on July 4th.