4th 5th Jokes
10 4th 5th jokes and hilarious 4th 5th puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 4th 5th that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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4th 5th Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good 4th 5th joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
If today is May the 4th be with you
Then tomorrow is Revenge of the 5th
Does Britain have the 4th of July?
Or do the calendars just go July 3rd, July 5th, July 6th?
Q: Does Britain have a 4th of July?
A: Yes, and a 5th and a 6th too
July 4th!
How do you have fun on the 4th?
And: Buy a 5th on the 3rd.
May the 4th be with you..
I lay my allegiance with the 5th..
(In Russian accent)
Three men walk up to me and each ask my name, so I kill them together.
A 4th man walks up and asks, "Did you kill all these people? What did they do? What is problem?" So I kill him.
A 5th man walks up and asks"Did you kill all these people?" I say yes. He says, "Why you do this? Did you not like them?" So I kill him.
A 6th man walks up and "Did you kill all these people because you did not like them?" I said, "No, that is not problem." So he asks, "So why did you kill them?" "I do not like being asked three questions." "Why not?" He says.
So I kill him.
Mozart
So the year is 1791, and Mozart has just died. It's a big deal in Vienna, everyone is sad blah blah blah blah. A few days after he is buried, someone is walking through the graveyard and hears a strange noise. Intrigued by the noise he follows it until it gets louder, louder, and finally he finds himself standing above Mozart's grave. Naturally this is a matter of curiosity in Vienna, and soon people from all over come to hear this strange sound coming from Mozart's grave. No one can identify the noise coming from the grave, so finally they bring in an expert on Mozart's music to see if he can identify it. After listening for a few minutes, the expert says "Well this is Mozart's 6th symphony, but it's playing backwards." He listens a bit longer and he hears Mozart's 5th symphony, 4th symphony, 3rd, 2nd, 1st but all being played backwards. The people of Vienna ask the expert how this strange music can be coming from the grave. "It's no big deal" he answers. "Mozart is just *decomposing*."
Heaven
Three guys are at the gates of heaven. The angel Gabriel tells them that he has to know how they died before he lets them in. The first guy says "I came home to my apartment on the 4th floor to find that I had been robbed! I was looking around to see if the thief left any signs, and check out the damage, and I saw someone outside the balcony hanging for their life. Thinking they were the thief, I smashed their fingers with a hammer and they fell. Miraculously, they survived. So I pushed my refrigerator off the balcony and it fell on top of them and killed them. Realizing what I had done, I had a heart attack and died. Gabriel says "Well, you obviously were in shock, and you clearly were remorseful, so I'll let you in." The second guy says "I was doing pull-ups on my 5th floor balcony railing when I slipped underneath the rail and fell. Luckily I managed to grab onto the 4th floor railing and was hanging on for dear life when this crazy guy ran up and started pounding at my fingers with a hammer. I fell to the street below, but miraculously I survived. The last thing I saw was him pushing his fridge off the balcony, and it fell on me and killed me." Gabriel says "Although you were reckless, it wasn't your intent, so go on in." The third guy says "I was robbing this guys apartment, and heard him unlocking the door, so I jumped into the fridge."
You just can't please them
So three women were walking through town, when suddenly they spotted a building named, "Free Single Men". Desperate for love, the three women go inside. In the lobby, there stood a man who said (while pointing at an elevator across the room), "This building has 5 more floors. Each one with a different kind of man. Enjoy". The women proceed to enter the elevator. When they got to the first floor, a sign read, "This floor contains short, fat men". The women then went to the second floor. There a sign read, "This floor contains short, skinny men". The women then went to the 3rd floor, where the sign read, "This floor has tall, fat men". Then they went to the 4th floor, where the sign read, "This floor contains tall, skinny men". But when they got to the 5th floor, it was empty. The only thing there was a sign that read, "There are no men on this floor. This floor was created to prove the fact that there is no way to please a woman.
High Urinals
High Urinals
A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon) - but mostly to see the horses.
When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinals.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, helping them to hold on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, 'You must be in the 5th grade.' 'No, ma'am', he replied. 'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.'
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