4am Jokes

Following is our collection of slutty puns and 1pm one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including 4am jokes for adults, dirty neighbor jokes and clean 3am dad gags for kids.

The Best 4am Puns

Slutty girls are like Wal-Marts

Everyone makes fun of them but when you're inside one at 4am, you think "Thank God these are here"

What do whores and Walmart have in common?

We all make fun of them, but when we're inside one at 4am we're glad they're around.

Russia has too many time zones

Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones. -"Why"? Putin asks

" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep, - I woke you up at 4AM in the morning, but I thought it was only evening, - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday, - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."

"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor, remember when that Polish plane crashed with the president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet !!"

The homeless man and the farmer

A homeless man comes up to a farmers house and knocks on the door, when the farmer answers, the homeless man asks "May i spend the night?" to which the farmer replies, "Sure, but you're going to have to sleep in the stable." So the homeless man agrees and sleeps in the stable with all the animals.

In the morning the farmer comes in and asks "How did you sleep?" and the homeless man says "I slept good. And I talked to your animals too." the farmer says, "Really?"

"Yes, I talked to the chickens," he responded, "and they said that you come in every morning at 4am to collect the eggs."

"Wow," the farmer says, "That's right!"

"I also talked to the cows," the homeless man continued, "And they told me every morning at 5am, you milk them"

"That's amazing!" the farmer responds.

"I also talked to the sheep, and they said-"


A strange woman was pounding at my door at 4am and woke me up.

I had to let her out.

My neighbor is so inconsiderate!

He came pounding on my front door at 4am.

Thankfully I was already awake practicing my drum solo, but very rude!

Her: I'm so exhausted, I was up until 4AM with the baby.

Me: It's probably not good to keep a baby up that late.

I would go vegan but

I'm not willing to get up at 4am to milk the almonds.

"She puts it in, takes it out, tastes it, then puts it back in...

She really needs to change her microwave!"

*insert 4am informercial*

You know whaf the worst part about being vegan is?

Getting up at 4am to milk the almonds

My wife said she was exhausted because she was up till 4am with the baby

I told her it's probably not good to keep the baby up till that late

It's 4AM and I keep hearing voices...

Though that's probably because I'm listening to music.


Sorry this sucks and is more like an antijoke, I have a midterm in a couple hours and I'm tired.

Me: I have to sleep at 11 tonight

*Clock shows 11:01pm*

Me: Welp, guess I have to sleep at 4am now.

What is a Japanese person's favorite Korean food?

Kimchi, because it makes them feel good. (I woke up at 4am for this.)

There is an abundance of makes jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 14 funniest jokes and 4am puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any 5am witze you can hear about 4am.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes