420 Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

If you ever miss 4:20 just wait untill 4:22 because...

4:22 is 4:20 too.

I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th...

Because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons.

So today is 4/20

4/20 is national weed day, 4/21 is national surprise drug test day and 4/22 is national unemployment day

4/20 It's Hitler's birthday today...

... I guess that brings a whole another meaning to "Smoking a J"

Don't worry if you missed 4/20

Because today is 4/20 too!

If you miss the alarm for 4:20, wait for 4:22...

Because 4:22 is 4:20 too.

I celebrate 4/20

On 1/5

Simplify your fractions!

My gay friend told me he's spending this 4/20 with his boyfriend.

He said, "After all, the Bible says 'Two men who lie together shall be stoned'."

A stoner walks into an appliance store and asks the owner

How much for that TV set in the window?
The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, I don't sell stuff to potheads. So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit smoking and will come back the next week to buy the TV. A week later, the stoner comes back and says, I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?
And the owner says, I told you I don't sell to potheads! So the stoner leaves again.
He comes back a week later and says, How much for that TV?
The owner says, I'm not going to tell you again, I don't sell to potheads!!!
The stoner looks back at the owner and says, How can you tell I'm a pothead?
The owner looks back and says, Because that's a microwave

HAPPY 4-20

Don't worry if you miss 4:20

Just wait 2 minutes as it is 4:22

I always save my eBay shopping for after I come back from 4/20

That way I'm always the highest bidder

When midgets celebrate 4/20...

Do they get high, or just get medium?

A man, his wife and the hotel receptionist

Man: Hello, I'am in room 420. Please send someone over immidiately. I'am having an argumemt with me wife and she wants to jump from the window.

Receptionist: Iam sorry sir but thats personal matter.

Man: Listen you dumb f*ck, the window is not opening and that's a maintenance problem!

A couple decided to get married on 4/20.

It was a 'joint' decision.

Ben has 911 candies. He eats 420. What does he have now?

Ben has diabetes.

If Jesus died on 4/20, he wouldn't have been crucified....

he would've been stoned to death

Saw on twitter

Don't worry if you missed 4:20 guys just smoke at 4:22 because it is 4:20 too

What do the french call 4/20?


Why did the mathematician celebrate 4/20 on January 5?

Because he knows how to reduce fractions.

My two best friends were born on 4/20...

They have a joint birthday party

Today is Hitler's birthday.

Kinda gives a whole new meaning to "4/20 blaze it."

Louis Vuitton bag

Why is it that a French woman never managed to sell a $80 Louis Vuitton bag in the US?

She kept saying it's $420.

That awesome moment when you realise...

...in 2020 it will be 4/20 for a whole month.

What happens on 420 in Saudi Arabia

A lot of people get stoned

It's ok if you missed 4/20.

4/22 is 4/20 too.

Since today is 4/20, remember kids, drugs are never the answer

They are the question, and the answer is yes!

420 is a gateway holiday to harder, more serious holidays.

12:00 PM on 4/20...

It's high noon

For me, it's 4/20.

For others, it's 2/10.

Sometimes it's even 1/5.

What's Snoop Dogg's new cooking show called?

420 Braise It

What do you eat on 4/20?

Pot pie

My Ex told me she had a creeper

I spent over 420 hours watching her house, I still haven't found him

My Christmas tree is on a timer

It lights up everyday at 4:20

Guys I didnt miss the marijuana smokeouts last Friday

Because today's 4/20 two

What do cows that are stoners say?

420 graze it


More like 1/5.
Always reduce your fractions... always.

Two candles wanted to get high…

They lit up and got low instead.

Happy 4/20!

Imagine it was 420 degrees Fahrenheit outside

We be all baking!

I've heard about lighting up on 4/20...

but I feel like BP took it a bit far back in 2010.

Why is Top Thrill Dragster 420 feet tall?

Because you get high really fast

How much should I drink on 4/20?

Roughly a fifth?

Friday was 4/20

But Sunday was 4/22.

what do stoners and skinheads have in common

they both celebrate 4/20

4/20 is National Weed Day...

4/21 is National Drug Inspection Day

4/22 is National Unemployment Day

Why don't french stoners celebrate 420?

Because they're to busy celebrating 80!

My sister is a mathematician...

She celebrates 4/20 on January fifth because it's just simpler that way.

If 4/20 is national weed day whats 4/21?

National surprise drug test day!

Happy 4/20 everyone! :)

You know you're an engineer when....

You hear 4-20 and think they're talking about an analog current input

What an eventful day!

It's 420, Hitlers birthday, and the 18th anniversary of the columbine shooting. Boy what a fun day

What do pothead barbarians say when 420 rolls around?

420 raze it!

What's the highest number there is?


What time do cows eat grass?

420 graze it

A joke i came up with.

dective: time of death 4:20
police officer: eyyyy
dective: eyyyyy
corpse: eyyyy

What are the funniest 420 jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about 420? Well, here are the best 420 puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny 420 pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes