420 Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious 420 puns

If you ever miss 4:20 just wait untill 4:22 because...

4:22 is 4:20 too.

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4/20 is my favorite day to skip work, grab a pipe, head down to the park, and

beat the shit out of hippies.

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I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th...

Because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons.

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A man calls to the hotel's receptionist and he says........"Hello..........

..."Hello, I'm in room 420, please send someone here immediately! I'm having an argument with my wife and she's saying that she's going to jump out of the window!!"
_

The receptionist says, "I'm sorry sir, but that's your personal problem"
To which the man gets angry and he yells, "Listen you dumb bitch! The window is not opening and that's a MAINTENANCE PROBLEM!"

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So today is 4/20

4/20 is national weed day, 4/21 is national surprise drug test day and 4/22 is national unemployment day

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4/20 It's Hitler's birthday today...

... I guess that brings a whole another meaning to "Smoking a J"

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Don't worry if you missed 4/20

Because today is 4/20 too!

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If you miss the alarm for 4:20, wait for 4:22...

Because 4:22 is 4:20 too.

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I celebrate 4/20

On 1/5

Simplify your fractions!

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My gay friend told me he's spending this 4/20 with his boyfriend.

He said, "After all, the Bible says 'Two men who lie together shall be stoned'."

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A stoner walks into an appliance store and asks the owner

How much for that TV set in the window?
The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, I don't sell stuff to potheads. So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit smoking and will come back the next week to buy the TV. A week later, the stoner comes back and says, I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?
And the owner says, I told you I don't sell to potheads! So the stoner leaves again.
He comes back a week later and says, How much for that TV?
The owner says, I'm not going to tell you again, I don't sell to potheads!!!
The stoner looks back at the owner and says, How can you tell I'm a pothead?
The owner looks back and says, Because that's a microwave

HAPPY 4-20

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Don't worry if you miss 4:20

Just wait 2 minutes as it is 4:22

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I always save my eBay shopping for after I come back from 4/20

That way I'm always the highest bidder

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When midgets celebrate 4/20...

Do they get high, or just get medium?

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A man, his wife and the hotel receptionist

Man: Hello, I'am in room 420. Please send someone over immidiately. I'am having an argumemt with me wife and she wants to jump from the window.

Receptionist: Iam sorry sir but thats personal matter.

Man: Listen you dumb f*ck, the window is not opening and that's a maintenance problem!

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cop: I pulled you over for going 68 in a 55



**me:** Dang, 68? can you make that number a *little* cooler so I can hear the judge read it out loud haha

**cop:** Sure, whatever.

[later in traffic court]

**judge:** How were you going 420 in a 55?

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Ben has 911 candies. He eats 420. What does he have now?

Diabetes.
Ben has diabetes.

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A couple decided to get married on 4/20.

It was a 'joint' decision.

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If Jesus died on 4/20, he wouldn't have been crucified....

he would've been stoned to death

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What do the french call 4/20?

80

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Saw on twitter

Don't worry if you missed 4:20 guys just smoke at 4:22 because it is 4:20 too

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Why did the mathematician celebrate 4/20 on January 5?

Because he knows how to reduce fractions.

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Today is Hitler's birthday.

Kinda gives a whole new meaning to "4/20 blaze it."

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My two best friends were born on 4/20...

They have a joint birthday party

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It's ok if you missed 4/20.

4/22 is 4/20 too.

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Since today is 4/20, remember kids, drugs are never the answer

They are the question, and the answer is yes!

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Louis Vuitton bag

Why is it that a French woman never managed to sell a $80 Louis Vuitton bag in the US?

She kept saying it's $420.

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What happens on 420 in Saudi Arabia

A lot of people get stoned

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That awesome moment when you realise...

...in 2020 it will be 4/20 for a whole month.

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12:00 PM on 4/20...

It's high noon

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420 is a gateway holiday to harder, more serious holidays.

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What's Snoop Dogg's new cooking show called?

420 Braise It

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For me, it's 4/20.

For others, it's 2/10.

Sometimes it's even 1/5.

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My Ex told me she had a creeper

I spent over 420 hours watching her house, I still haven't found him

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What do you eat on 4/20?

Pot pie

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What are the most funny 420 jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about 420? Well, here are the best 420 dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and 420 pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes