The Best 11 40th Jokes

Following is our collection of funny 40th jokes. There are some 40th thirteenth jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these 40th 1st puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest 40th Jokes and Puns

Husband and Wife 40th Anniversary

A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting a headstone that reads: 'Here lies my wife, cold as ever'." "Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reading: 'Here lies my husband, stiff at last."
-Sacha Guitry

My uncle survived a fall of 39 stories off a building

Unfortunately, he fell off the 40th story.

Turning 40

When my best friend turned 40, I sent him a CD in the mail: UB40.

2 months later, on my 40th, I received a CD in the mail from him: U2.

40th joke, Turning 40

I had a girlfriend and her favorite Pixar movie was "Up".

This was 2010 and she had it on blue ray, and we would watch it at least once a week at her apartment. But after like the 40th time, I confronted her and said I was tired of watching. The argument got heated; it didn't help that we were drunk. Suddenly, she pushed me and I fell on something. I turned and saw the disk broken; she cried hysterically.
At this moment, I knew, we broke Up...

My father who is a janitor said his position at work was raised

He will be cleaning the 40th floor instead of the 39th.


The stone has been rolled away for 38 days and Christ continues to chill with his buds.

God calls from the heavens, it is time.

But Jesus and his friends can't hear over all the partying etc

On day 39, same thing. Son, come sit by my right hand in heaven.

Still nothing.

On the 40th day, God hears that the music is especially loud and knows he'll likely be ignored again. So he grabs a very loud megaphone and yells May I have your ascension please! May I have your ascension please

A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her 40th birthday. He says: So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?

Bernie, she says. I want a divorce .

My goodness, he says. I wasn't planning on spending that much.

40th joke, A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her 40th birthday. He says:  So what w

Thomas always wanted to change the World...

it wasn't until he fell out the 40th story window, however, that he made a real impact.

What did Jesus say before He ascended to Heaven on the 40th day of Easter?

"Beam me up, Scotty."

Threw a surprise 40th Birthday party for myself!

Nobody came though. :(

Today, my wife and I celebrated our 20th anniversary together.

My wife just recently celebrated her 32nd birthday, and it just so happens that I'm celebrating my 40th birthday tomorrow!

You can explore 40th cold reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean 40th quarrel dad jokes. There are also 40th puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the 40th seventh jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working 40th headstone piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes