3rd Place Jokes
10 3rd place jokes and hilarious 3rd place puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 3rd place that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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3rd Place Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good 3rd place joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Worms
Four earthworms are placed in four separate test tubes:
1st in beer
2nd in wine
3rd in whiskey
4th in mineral water
The next day, the teacher shows the results:
The 1st worm in beer, dead.
The 2nd in wine, dead.
The 3rd in whiskey, dead.
The 4th in mineral water, alive and healthy.
The teacher asks the class:
- What do we learn from this experience?
And a child responds:
- Whoever drinks beer, wine and whiskey, does not have worms.
the three legged pig joke reminded me of a joke my dad once told me
a scientist was doing an experiment on a frog in his lab, he placed the frog down on the floor and said "Frog jump!". the frog jumped 4 feet and so he noted in his notebook
"frog with 4 legs, jumps 4 feet"
he then cut off one of the frogs legs and again said "Frog jump!". the frog jumped only 3 feet this time and so he noted in his notebook
"frog with 3 legs, jumps 3 feet"
he cut off a 2nd leg and said "Frog jump!". this time the frog only jumped 2 feet and so he noted
"frog with 2 legs, jumps 2 feet"
he then cut off a 3rd leg and again said "Frog jump!". the frog only jumped a foot and so he noted
"frog with 1 leg, jumps 1 foot"
the scientist then cut off the frogs last remaining leg and said "Frog jump!, Frog jump!, FROG JUMP!!!!!" but the frog did not move. so he noted
"frog with 0 legs, deaf"
My 3 sons placed 1st, 2nd and 3rd in a talent contest judged by Lee Kun-hee
Jake juggled, Daniel danced and Sam sung
It's coming home!
The team that is...
they do have the 3rd place match tho..
Not sure about this blonde moment...
Overheard at a coffee shop...
"... and the 3rd mistake was that he did it in the 1st place..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Negative people
There is a special place for all the negative people in the universe.
It's called the 3rd Quadrant.
In science class, 3 worms were places into 3 different jars.
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of soil.
After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol ---dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke --- dead.
The 3rd worm in soil --- alive.!!
So the science teacher asked the class --- "What can you learn from this experiment.?"
A kid quickly raised his hand and said.
"As long as you drink alcohol and smoke , you won't have worms in your stomach".
Who placed 3rd for basketball in the 2016 Olympics?
LeBronze James
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Another vampire joke.
3 vampires walk into a blood bar.
The 1st vampire looks at the bartender and says "I'll have your finest cup of blood, type O negative please." The bartender happily obliges.
The 2nd vampire then places his order. "One mug of AB positive, with extra plasma please!" The bartender once again happily obliges.
The 3rd vampire asks for a cup of boiling water. The bartender, perplexed, asks what he'll be needing a cup of hot water for. The 3rd vampire then pulls out a used t**... and says "I'm making tea."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3rd Rose
A s**... active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her v**... lips reduced in size because, over the years they had become loose and floppy.
Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and of course the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia,she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately called in the surgeon.
"I thought I specifically asked you not to tell anyone about my operation"!
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him. "I felt so sad for you, because you went through this all by yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and understood perfectly, as she had the same procedure done some time ago."
"And what about the third rose?" she asked.
"That's from a man in the burn unit - he wanted to thank you for his new ears."
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