3rd Grade Jokes
28 3rd grade jokes and hilarious 3rd grade puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 3rd grade that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest 3rd Grade Short Jokes
Short 3rd grade jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 3rd grade humour may include short third grade jokes also.
- My friend just came to me all depressed because his kid's failing 3rd grade, and he doesn't know how to break it to him. Apparently slowly wasn't the advice he was looking for.
- I used to pee my pants every time i had to talk in front of my 3rd grade class It really killed my teaching career.
- 3rd grade math If you have 7 apples in one hand, and 5 in the other, what do you have?
-Really large hands. - What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his 3rd grade teacher asked him to be a classical composer in the school play ? I'll be Bach
- Did you hear about the 8-year old dairy farmer? He had to repeat 3rd grade because he was a slow churner.
- I caught my girlfriend cheating... ...so I gave her an F and told her she needs to study if she wants to pass the 3rd grade.
- Made this joke up when I was 33. Extremely proud of it. Why did the salt fail 3rd grade.
Cause it was sodiumb.
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3rd Grade One Liners
Which 3rd grade one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 3rd grade? I can suggest the ones about 2nd grade and 4th grade.
- One from 3rd Grade: What's the name of the funniest mountain range? The Himhilarious
- Did you hear about the potato that teaches 3rd grade? He's loves being an edutater
- What is the longest and hardest thing for a black man? 3rd grade
- What's long and hard on a black man? 3rd grade
- What do you call a bra? A b**... trap. Thanks 3rd grade nephew.
3rd Grade Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about 3rd grade you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean 5th grade jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 3rd grade pranks.
At the 3rd grade violin rehearsal ...
... Donnie Corleone Jr. walks in, opens his violin case and unveils, to the shock of all, a tommy gun. The teachers are livid, panic nearly ensues, but Donnie just starts laughing uncontrollably.
"What's wrong with you? This is serious! Why are you laughing?"
"Because I just imagined dad holding up the bank with my violin."
Soviet Joke
Moscow, 1985, 3rd grade class
Teacher: Life in Soviet Union is great, all families have a nice apartment, a car, all children have nice toys!
Little Kid starts crying
Teacher: Vladimir, why are you crying??
Little Kid: I wanna go to Soviet Union!!
Miss Joan asks her 3rd grade students what their parents do for a living
Emily happily raises her hand and say : "Daddy's a mechanic and Mommy is a teacher like you !"
Jason then replies : "Well, my dad is a chef and my mom is her accountant"
And so on, every child answers to their best until it is little Billy's turn, who suddenly bursts into tears.
Miss Joan asks him why he's crying so much and Billy wails : "my papa is dead !"
"Oh, Billy, I'm so sorry... But what did he do before dying ?"
"Well, he was like *arglhblargahrgablar*"
Johny the Fighter Pilot
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you
grow up?"
Little Johnny says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest p**..., give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while bang her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson. "And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Johnny's p**...."
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class:
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Kevin says: "I wanna start out as a Marine Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest h**..., give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while b**... her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Kevin, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson . .. . ..
And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Kevin¹s h**...."
Post your pickup lines. I'll start: Girl, you smell like....
Girl, you smell like an encouraging note my 3rd grade teacher wrote with a purple gelpen in the front of my Goosebumps book! Can I get your number?
A 3rd grade class is coming back from recess...
When they get into the classroom, teacher says:
'Alright, we have a new student today, so we'll start this class nice and easy with a small discussion - what did you do during recess?'
The new student looked very nervous, so the teacher decided to start with someone else.
'How about you start us off Tim.'
'I was blowing bubbles' said Tim.
'Very nice!' said the teacher. j**..., how about you?'
'I was also blowing bubbles' said j**....
'Oh, nice!' said the teacher. 'Now, how about our new student-- oh I'm sorry, I believe I've forgotten your name. Would you remind me?'
'My name is Chris' he says, 'But for some reason, everyone keeps calling me Bubbles.'
Little Johnny
The teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Johnny says: "I wanna start out as a Marine Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest h**..., give her a Ferrari worth a million bucks, an apartment in London, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel all over Europe, a Visa Card with no limit, and all the time b**... her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.
And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Johnny's h**...."
Using the word 'definitely'
A 3rd grade English teacher stood in front of her class and asked for volunteers to use the word 'definitely' to describe something.
The first student, Johnny, raised his hand and said "Teacher, the sky is definitely blue!"
The teacher responds "Well Johnny, sometimes the sky can be grey and sometimes it can be black." Defeated, Johnny put his hand down.
The next student, Susie, looking to make Johnny look bad proudly said "The grass is definitely green."
Teacher responded "Not so true Susie. When the grass dies, it can be brown, or yellow." Susie was embarrassed.
The teacher looked around the room and saw a puzzled look on her student's faces. Just as she was about the help her students out, little Billy threw his hand up.
"Yes Billy?"
"Teacher, are farts lumpy?" Little Billy asked.
"No Billy, farts are not lumpy."
"....Then I definitely just pooped my pants."
EDIT - Names...D'oh. Face meet palm
It's the first day of 3rd grade...
Their teacher wanted them to behave more grown up since they were no longer in second grade.
As such, the teacher told them to use grownup words instead of baby words. She then asked them to tell her what they did during the summer.
Susie went first and said she went to see her Nana.
The teacher said, 'No, no, you went to see your grandmother. Use the grown-up word.'
Next Samantha said she went for a trip on a choo-choo. Once again the teacher again said, 'No, no, you went on a trip on a train. That's the grown-up word.'
Then the teacher asked Johnny what he did during the summer. He proudly stated that he read a book. The teacher asked what book he had read. He puffed out his chest and, in a very adult way, replied, 'Winnie the s**....'
High Urinals
High Urinals
A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon) - but mostly to see the horses.
When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinals.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, helping them to hold on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, 'You must be in the 5th grade.' 'No, ma'am', he replied. 'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.'