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365 Days Jokes

22 365 days jokes and hilarious 365 days puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 365 days that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest 365 Days Short Jokes

Short 365 days jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 365 days humour may include short fifty days jokes also.

  1. I'm going to run a marathon next year. It's a huge challenge, but 26 miles in 365 days is definitely doable.
  2. Why is Whole Foods' house brand called 365? Cuz you have to work 365 days a year to afford it.
  3. I've just finished a 365 day exercise program that focuses on quads and hamstrings It's the end of the thigh-nancial year
  4. I went to a Chinese restaurant that is open 24/7, 365 days of the year... ... the chef is a wokaholic.
  5. The brain The brain is a amazing o**... it works 24 hours a day 365 days a year from the day you are born until you see your first woman n**....

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365 Days One Liners

Which 365 days one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 365 days? I can suggest the ones about 24 hours and january 1st.

  1. Today marks 365 days of sobriety. 364 more to go
  2. With next year having a leap day... which day will my Office 365 not work?
  3. Enthusiasm 365 days until Christmas and people already have their trees up.
  4. Theres 365 days until halloween and people ALREADY have their decorations up.
  5. If a leap year has 366 days, what do you call a year with 365 days? A light year
  6. New Years is like 365 days away And people are already shooting fireworks

365 Days Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about 365 days you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean 60 minutes jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 365 days pranks.

My psychic is a wise woman. She believes that all things happen for a reason. I asked her to show me.

She said,
"In the year 3055, a time traveler will be vomiting uncontrollably in a dark room. At some point before his episode, unbeknownst to him, his time machine will have malfunctioned... This he'll only realize once it's too late."
All of a sudden, a man in a space-suit walked in. He grabbed a brown paper bag off of her desk and walked away. My psychic looked at me, smiled, and said, "that lunch has been sitting on my desk for 365 days. He thinks the year is 2019; he's late."

Man and wife visit the super bull farm.

They are shown round the prize bulls. The manager shows them a great strapping beast.. this one is our gold medal bull he mates without fail every three days. The wife is impressed and nudges hubby.. nodding approvingly.
They move on and next the manager shows them the double gold medal bull. He is a beast! This one, the manager explains proudly can do the business every other day without fail.
Wow.. Says the wife, with sideways look at her husband .. I'm very impressed.
Then the manager shows them Rocky, the triple gold medal bull. Rocky here, he says patting the muscular r**... of a steaming hot stomping beast, is a every single day boy.. 365 copulations a year.
The wife looks at her sulking husband. Now that's what I call a super stud!
Yes.. he says, scratching his chin,
but I bet Rocky here doesn't have to sleep with the same old cow every night.

My wife and I went to the County Agricultural Show

One of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said:
THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ..... Smiled and said, "He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week".
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said:
THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, "WOW~~That's more than twice a week! .......... You could learn a lot from him".
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said:
THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR
My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, "That's once a day .. You could REALLY learn something from this one".
I looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow".
My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and the doctors say I should eventually make a full recovery.

Husband and Wife go to a live stock show...

...and are passing through the bull section when they go up to a bull with a sign that indicates that the bull mated 12 times last year.
The wife says, "Honey, that's at least once a month. See, you could take a lesson from him." The husband doesn't say anything and they keep going to the next bull.
The sign indicates the bull mated 52 times last year. The wife says, "Honey, that's at least once a week. See, you could take a lesson from him." The husband doesn't say anything and they keep going to the next bull.
This time the sign says the bull mated 365 times last year. The wife says, "Honey, that's at once a day! Now you really should take a lesson from him."
The husband get fed up and replies, "And you think that bull mated with the same cow each of those times?"

A man takes his wife to the stock show.


They start heading down the alley that had the bulls.
They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 50 times last year.”
The wife turns to her husband and says, “He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him.”
They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 65 times last year.”
The wife turns to her husband and says, “This one mated 65 times last year.
That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also.”
They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: “This bull mated 365 times last year.”
The wife’s mouth drops open and says, “WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY! You could really learn from this one.”
The man turns to his wife and says, “Go up and see if it was 365 times with the same cow.”