3 pregnant women Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious 3 pregnant women puns

3 pregnant women are waiting i an ob/gyn office...

All three are knitting newborn baby clothes while thry wait.

The first one pulls out a pill bottle and takes one. "This is my calcium supplement", she says. "I want my baby to have strong bones."

The 2nd one does the same. "Iron for developing blood cells," she adds.

The 3rd one, a little frustrated, pops a pill and keeps knitting. She turns to the others. "Thalidomide. I can't get these fucking sleeves right."


3 Guys go to hell...

...and are greeted by a charming looking gentleman at the gate. "Greetings," the man says "I'm Satan, welcome to hell!" to which the 3 men begin to back away in fear, but Satan approached them gently "Now now fellas, there's nothing to be scared of! I'm quite the reasonable guy! Come on I'll give you the tour!" Unsure, but curious, the 3 guys follow Satan around through various rooms.

"And here we have Dave! Dave wished to have enough money to swim in!" and they peaked through a hole to see a man gleefully swimming through gold. "Now, you each get your own room!" and the men were ecstatic!

The first man bursts forward "Oh, Oh me first!" and Satan nods "I want all of the most beautiful women!" and Satan smiles and leads him to a platinum door, opening it to reveal a warehouse sized room full of the most beautiful women of all races, and all naked, enticing him to enter.

Satan stops the man from entering "One last thing, a simple 'catch' as you might say, you cannot leave the room for 1000 years. Are you sure this is your one true desire?" he asks, receiving a yes without hesitation. "Very well, the room is all yours!" the man gives Satan a hug and runs into the room with Satan closing, and locking the door behind him.

The second man, a little pudgy man, steps forward and says "I love to eat, I want a room full of the best food from all around the world!" and Satan nods, and brings the man to a different room, which when opened revealed different varieties of cakes, pie, cooked entrees, and delicacies. His eyes light up, and he rushes on in with the door closing and locking behind him.

Satan looks towards the third man who hesitantly asks Satan "Hey man, do you have a room with a lot of weed? I just want to be baked off of my ass for 1000 years" and Satan smiles "I'm Satan! Of course I've got weed!" and he leads the man to another door, which revealed a warehouse full of marijuana. "Hell yeah! Thanks Satan!" and he enters with the door closing and locking behind him.

1000 years later, Satan makes his rounds to check up on the men in the rooms, he stops by the first room to find the first man in a room full of babies, pregnant nagging women, lots of crying, and feces everywhere. The man spots the light, looks at Satan, and reaches out his hand "Satan...Help me!" and Satan laughs and closes the door again.

He opens the second door to find a man so fat he can't even sit up, he's covered in his own feces, the food around him is all rotten, flies are everywhere. He too spots the light, looks toward Satan "Satan...help me!" and Satan laughs and closes the door again.

He walks over to the last door, unlocks it, and suddenly the door flies open, the man grabs Satan and yells "Satan you gotta lighter!?"


3 pregnant women in a lobby

Three pregnant women in a lobby are knitting. The first one stops and takes a pill. "It's iron" she says "I want my baby to have strong muscles"
They continue knitting except for woman number 3 who is looking confusedly at her knitting.
The second woman stops to take a pill. "It's calcium. I want my baby to have strong bones."
They continue knitting except for the third woman who starts taking fistfuls of pills. The first two women stop and wait for her explanation.
"Oh it's just thalidomide...I don't know how to knit sleeves"


Ten reasons why hockey is better than women

1: In hockey, everyone likes rough.

2: You only get 5 minutes for fighting.

3: Puck is not a dirty word.

4: You don't have to play in the neutral zone.

5: It is possible to score a few times a night.

6: When you "pull the goalie," nobody gets pregnant.

7: Missing teeth doesn't stop you from scoring.

8: You can always get new wood if your stick breaks.

9: The Zamboni cleans up your mess.

10: Periods last twenty minutes!


I have the worst luck with women. The last 3 girlfriends broke up with me using he exact same line

"I'm pregnant"


Three pregnant women are sitting in a doctors.

Three pregnant women are sitting in a doctors waiting room knitting. Mom 1 checks her watch and takes a pill "Vitamin C, good for mom, good for baby." Mom 2 takes a pill and says, "Vitamin A, good for mom, good for baby." Mom 3 takes a pill and says, "Thalidomide...I can't knit sleeves."


3 pregnant woman....

Three pregnant women are sitting around a table discussing their pregnancies. The first one says, "I eat so many dills, my baby is gonna love pickles."

The second woman says, "My baby is gonna love cheese, I eat swiss by the block!"

The first two mothers stare at the third waiting for her say what her baby will love. After a long pause she says, "I guess I'm going to have a gay son."


2 men walk into a bar

1) 2 men walk into a bar. One man asks, why do women live women live a better and a longer life? After a long pause, another man replied: Because they don't have wives!

2) If a woman is quiet, what day is it?
Ans: Who cares, just enjoy the day!

3) Why women are not good drivers?
Ans: There are too many mirrors in the car

4) Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason!

5) A husband is supposed to make wife's panties wet, not her eyes! A wife is suppose to make her husband's dick hard, not his life!

6) When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "congrats!" But no one comes and touches the man's penis and says, well done!
Moral: Hard work is never appreciated, only results matter!


I Shot The Dog

A women was pregnant with triplets.

One day she goes into this bank as it was being held up. She gets shot 3 times in her stomach, but luckily she lives.

She goes to the doctor who tells her her children will be all right, one day the bullets will come out.

So 13 years later, one triplet, a girl, runs out of the bathroom and says "MOM, MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!" So the mother tells her the story.

The next day the second daughter comes out and says the same thing, "MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHOOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!"

On the third day the son comes out and says "MOM, MOM!" she goes "Let me guess, you were going to the bathroom and a bullet came out?" he replies "No I farted and shot the dog"


I told the wife that pregnant women do not get to celebrate Mother's Day, sorry no gift this year.

She is currently not speaking to me. Neither are our 3 kids.


What are the most funny 3 Pregnant Women jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about 3 Pregnant Women? Well, here are the best 3 Pregnant Women dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and 3 Pregnant Women pick up lines to share with friends.

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