3 Part Jokes
40 3 part jokes and hilarious 3 part puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 3 part that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest 3 Part Short Jokes
Short 3 part jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 3 part humour may include short three step jokes also.
- What's the best part about having memorial day off? 3 straight days without a school shooting.
- What was Moses's plan? 1. talk to burning bush
2. part Red Sea
3. climb Mount Sinai
4. ?????????
5. PROPHET!!!! - There are 10 types of people in this one. 1. People who get binary
2. People who do not.
3. People who get trinary
4. and people who realize that this part of the joke can go on forever. - Why is Canada the part of the Illuminati? Because they have 3 ehs in the name.
C-eh-N-eh-D-eh - What's your favorite drink to have during Christmas time? Mine is the Little Drummer Boy. It's 1 part r**..., 3 parts pum.
- When my mom shares the story about shaking hands with Ronald Reagan ... #n**... I inform everyone that.
1) it was when he was an actor
2) that wasn't his hand
3) she didn't get the part
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3 Part One Liners
Which 3 part one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 3 part? I can suggest the ones about three word and two part.
- What's the best part about summer in the U.S.? 3 months of no school shootings.
- What do you call a 3-part novel about Michael Jackson? A Thriller-gy
- What has 3 tails, 4 trunks and 6 feet? An elephant with spare parts!
- What's the best part about being a m**... addict? 3 sleeps 'til Christmas
3 Part Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about 3 part you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean number 3 jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 3 part pranks.
Bad Zoo
1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you.
2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp.
3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat.
4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino for a walk.
5. The Lion in the lion cage closely resembles the one from The Lion King.
6. The alligator in the Reptiles exhibit is nothing more than the University of Florida's Mascot.
7. If you deposit 50 cents, the giraffe will magically appear and talk to you.
8. Ask the Tour Guide too many questions and you're suddenly dipped in some sort of sauce and placed in the Tigers den.
9. The Elephant appear to be two guys in a two part Elephant suit.
10. Two words: Hippo Dogs!
Sherlock Holmes and Watson go on a camping trip
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson went on a camping trip. After sharing a good meal and a bottle of wine, they retire to their tent for the night. Several hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, wake up and tell me what you see?"
"I see millions of stars."
"And what do you deduce from that, Watson?"
Watson replies, "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and we are small and insignificant. Horologically, it tells me that it's about 3 AM. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Sherlock?"
Holmes rolled his eyes. "Watson, you idiot! It tells me that someone has stolen our tent!"
A man and woman live in a two story house.
A man and woman live in a two story house and sleep on the second floor. At 3 a.m. they're awakened by a knock at the front door. The man goes to the window, opens it and looks down but can't see anyone.
"Who's out there?" he asks.
A voice says, "Please help me. I need a push."
"I'm sorry," the man says. "I'm not leaving my house at this hour."
He gets back into bed. His wife says, "Honey, don't you remember when our daughters were stuck in that bad part of Oakland at 3 in the morning, and if that stranger didn't give them a jumpstart, they would been there for hours?"
"Yeah, you're right," the man says. He gets out of bed and returns to the window. "Are you still down there?" he asks.
"Yes."
"Do you still need that push?"
"Yes."
"Where are you?" the man asks.
"I'm over here on your swings."
Soup for the Mind in riddle form
1. a rooster lays an egg at the very top of a pointed roof. which way does the egg roll??
2. A plane crashes directly in the middle of the border between Canada and U.S.A. where where the survivors buried?
3. Two babys were born from the same mother, on the same day, of the same year, on the same minute, yet were not twins... how is this possible??
Answeres
1. roosters dont lay eggs, hens do
2. the survivors wouldnt need to be buried, the dead would
3. they were part of a triplet,not twins
i know they are old and easy, but better ones WILL come.
A man wants to be an Eskimo...
He meets with the chief and asks him what it would take to become an Eskimo. The chief, wary of letting a white man into his clan, devises a series of impossible challenges. He says, "If you truly want to become part of our Eskimo family, you must do three things:
1) You must drink one gallon of 151 r**..., and if you can handle it and maintain all of your faculties, we will know your body and spirit are in harmony.
2) You must climb up the tall mountain and kill the polar bear that resides in the cave at the summit.
3) To show your true love for our race, you must make love to an Eskimo woman of my choosing."
The man thinks for a while, and agrees to complete the challenges. He first drinks the gallon of 151 and it was like nothing ever happened to him. He can talk, walk, and think logically. Next, he ascends the mountain and is not seen for a few hours after entering the cave. The chief breathes a sigh of relief, because he is sure the polar bear killed him, but gets the shock of his life when he sees the man descending the mountain. He is in tatters. His clothes are ripped, he is breathing heavily and sweating profusely, and his hair is pointing in every direction.
He approaches the chief, ready for the third challenge and asks, "Alright, now who is this woman you want me to kill?"
Bouncing neighbour...
Jimmy had been hearing loud bumping noises coming from his parents room for the last 3 or 4 nights. The next night , the noises started again, so he goes to investigate. Quietly opening his parents bedroom door, he see's his mother bouncing up and down on his father. Quietly, he slips back to bed. The next morning,Jimmy asks his mom why she was bouncing up and down on dads stomach.
Mom thinks for a minute , then tells Jimmy, "It's part of a new diet plan to help dad lose weight."
Jimmy then replies, "I don't think it will work mom".
Mom asks Jimmy, "why not!"
"Because every morning when you leave for work, Mrs. Jones from next door comes over and blows daddy back up!"
s**... healing
Dave went to his doctor for a check up. The doctor said, "Well, you are in the best of health. Do you have any questions for me?" Dave thought for a moment and replied. "Yeah, I've noticed my wife isn't, you know, in the mood like she used to be. What can I do about that?" The doctor chuckled and said, "That's just part of growing old, Dave. Tell you what, I'll write you a prescription for these pills. Slip one into her drink and wait about 2 hours, she will be hot for you then."
Dave went home, and that night, he slipped a pill into her glass of water. Then he started thinking. What if she was ready to go and he couldn't perform? He quickly swallowed 3 of the pills and took some water. They went to bed and Dave waited for the drugs to do their magic. After a while, he figured they didn't work, and fell asleep. About two hours later, his wife suddenly sat straight up in bed and yelled, "I need a man! I need a man!" He sat straight up in bed next to her and yelled, "So do I! So do I!"
A man is in a hospital, holding vigil at his wife's bedside...
...she has been in a coma for 3 weeks, the result of a terrible car accident. He is staring lovingly at her, lost in fleeting glimpses of the past, when a nurse enters the room carrying a pan of water, a sponge tucked under her arm. The man nods, kisses his wife on the forehead, and leaves the room. Several minutes have passed. He is alone in the hallway when the door opens and the nurse approaches him excitedly. Embarrassed now, she tells the man that when she tended to his wife's private parts during the sponge bath, his wife had moaned. She whispers that perhaps o**... s**... can bring her out of her coma! Puzzled, but willing to try anything, the man agrees and enters his wife's room while the nurse now waits in the hall. Minutes later, an alarm sounds from the equipment monitoring his wife. The nurse rushes into the room and sees the man at the head of his wife's bed, zipping up his pants. "I think she choked.'", he exclaims.
Rival School Prank
On the night before a rival football game several high school seniors abducted four cows from a local farmer. In red paint, they labeled each of the cows. On the first cow was the "#1", on the second was "#2", the third was "#3" and on the final cow they wrote the number "#5". The students then released the cows in various parts of their rival's school grounds. The next morning, the cows were found and quickly rounded up. The rival school then spent the entire day searching for cow #4.
Two magicians walk into a bakery
The first palms 3 donuts. He then snidely challenges the other magician to perform a trick of equal benefit. The second magician then calls the baker and asks for 3 donuts if he'd like to see a magic trick. The baker does his part and provides the donuts. The magician then eats the donuts and exclaims "Ta-Dah." The bakery is angered and asks "Well what's the magic trick?" The second magician replies "Look in my friend's pocket."
A rabbi, a priest and an imam...
... are walking in the forest and find a large amount of golden coins. They decide to split the treasure in 3 equal parts, but they also decide to share their parts with their respective communities.
-I'll draw a circle on the ground, and throw the coins it the air. What falls in it is for me, what falls outside of it is for my community, says the priest.
-I'll draw a line on the ground, says the imam, and throw the coins in the air. What falls exactly on it is for me, the rest is for my community.
-I'll just throw the coins in the air, says the rabbi, if God wants money he'll just take it, I keep what falls on the ground.
Can we Frankenstein Monster a joke?
i propose we see who can come up with the best joke. we submit a part, someone else adds to it. maybe 3 parts? maybe not? let's see who can come up with the funniest crowd sourced joke.
Jesus, Moses, and this guy are out golfing...
and the hole is a notorious Par 3 with a huge lake before the green. Moses takes a shot and hits it right into the lake. With his second shot he parts the lake, knocks it on the green, and right after he putts it in for par.
Jesus goes next and he too can't clear the water hazard and the ball just sticks on the surface without sinking. He walked right across the surface of the water where he chipped it in for a birdie.
The two looked back at the man awaiting his shot with smug faces. He hits the ball and like the others it falls right into the lake. Jesus and Moses snicker a little bit before a fish swims to the surface with the ball in it's mouth as an eagle swoops down from the clouds and grabs the fish. As it flies away the ball falls out of the fishes mouth landing on the green where a squirrel runs across and pushes it into the cup for a hole in one.
Moses throws down his club and looks and Jesus and says "Man I HATE playing golf with your Dad!"
I invented a new game similar to rock paper scissors.
You have 3 cards with a color on one side and white on the other.
You and your opponent choose a card, show it face down (white part), and simultaneously switch it to know the winner.
Every player has 3 cards of 3 different colors, representing some natural elements: Blue, Red and Brown, for Water, Fire and Wood respectively.
Narutally, blue beats red, as water extinguishes fire.
Red beats brown, as fire burns wood.
Brown beats Rihanna.
Man Periods
I'd hate to meet the girl of my dreams right now, because I, am on my man-period! No, let me explain: a woman would HATE to meet a s**... guy while on her period, because she knows it would mess up the part of her act where she pretends NOT to be berserk.
A man-period, is that special 2 to 3 days a month, when your unstoppable Juggernaut farts register on a seismograph. My last f**... sounded like a tornado went through a bassoon factory. I passed so much gas – Exxon called me up with an extraction lease, and the Department of Defense charted up a contingency plan.
An American factory orders a shipment of a certain part from a Japanese factory.
They write a letter to warn their partners "Be aware of our strict standards, we only accept 3 defective parts per 10 000".
The Japanese reply: "We don't quite understand what do you need them for, but as per request, we manufactured three defective parts and attach them separately hereby"
Math tells us three of the saddnest love stories
1)Tangent lines who had one chance to meet and then parted forever.
2)Parallel lines who were never meant to meet.
3)Asymptotes who can get closer and closer but will never be together.
[My first ever submission!] A man is driving through a shady part of town...
...When he pulls up at a stop sign.
A woman of the night, about 3 inches tall, approaches his car and shouts to him in a voice that betrays any femininity; "Hey darl, you looking for a good time? I'm only 10 cents per hour."
The driver replies "Sorry, I don't want any micro-transactions."
A car carrying 3 men broke down in the middle of a desert...
"Let's each take a part and try to make it back to civilization." One of them suggested. They all agreed it was a good idea.
"I'll take the hood," said the first, "This way if I find myself atop a hill, I can slide down quickly, like a sled."
"I'll take the wheels," said the second, "In case I want to bring something with me I can roll it along instead of carrying it."
"I'll take the door." Said the last, "If I get hot I can simply roll down the window."
Haven't seen this one here yet
**How to install a southern home security system**
1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 15 men's work boots, and place them on your porch with a copy of *Guns & Ammo* magazine.
2. Place four of the biggest dog bowls you can find on the porch next to the boots and magazines.
3. Leave a note on the door that reads:
Bubba,
Me, Jimbo and Buck went to get more beer and ammo. Be back in a bit. Don't mess with the pitbulls, they got the mailman real bad yesterday. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, locked 'em all in the house, so you better wait outside. Be right back.
-c**...
Teacher asks the class, "What part of your body can grow as much as six times its normal size?"
No one answers, so she asks Tiffany in the front row if she knows the answer. Tiffany blushes, giggles, and covers her face with her hands.
Heather in the desk behind raises her hand and says, "The pupil, miss. The pupil may grow as much as six times its normal size."
"Correct" says the teacher. "And, Tiffany, I have three comments for you. 1. You have a dirty, filthy mind. 2. You haven't been doing your homework, and 3. You are in for a lifetime of bitter disappointment."
Mile High Club
Airplane pilot comes on the intercom and says "folks, to save the lives of the other 127 people on this plane, 3 of you will have to jump."
Everyone looks around and finally a Frenchman stands up and says "in the name of France, I'll jump. Viva la France!" And he jumps out of the plane.
Next minute an Englishman stands up and says "in the name of England, I'll jump. God save the queen!" And he jumps.
Finally, a big guy stands up and says "I'm from Texas. And in the name of Texas..." he walks to the back of the plane, picks up a Mexican, and throws him from the plane. "Remember the Alamo."
Worst part is, poor little guy was Hawaiian.
The naming of Canada
Long ago, in a stuffy statehouse, a group of men, living in the northern part of the North American Continent sat around thinking of what to name their new country.
Man 1: So, I don't wanna be stepping on any toes here but I think our country should have a C, eh?
Man 2: Dont'cha know it should have an N, eh?
Man 3: I'm sorry, but I feel it should have a D, eh?
And so, Canada was named.
A toothbrush journey in India
Very real story...,,
A Dentist was conducting a global survey-
*"How long do you use your Toothbrush...?"*
Chinese:
"3 months...!"
American:
"1 month...!!"
Indian:
"There is no fixed time limit doctor, it may be years...!!! Initially we use it for *brushing* our teeth; then we use it for *dying our hair, cleaning comb, cleaning ornaments, cleaning machine parts of our vehicles, cleaning the dirt in between two tiles in bathroom etc etc*. Then when there are no bristles left on the brush, still we do not throw it doctor. we start using it for pushing drawstings in our Pajamas & Petticoats!
Real estate mogul Donald Trump announced this week that after 3½ years of marriage, he is seeking a divorce from wife, Marla Maples. According to Trump, Maples violated part of their marriage agreement when she decided to turn 30.
3 surgeons were arguing on the golf course about who makes the best patients.
The first one said he loved librarians to operate on. When you open them up, every part is in alphabitical order. The second doc said no, electricians are the best! Everything inside is color coded. The third doc said he had spent most of his career working in D C. That the absolute best surgical patients were polliticians. Their heads are interchangable with theirs a**... and they have no internal organs as they are completely full of s**...!