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3 Nuns Jokes

23 3 nuns jokes and hilarious 3 nuns puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 3 nuns that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest 3 Nuns Short Jokes

Short 3 nuns jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 3 nuns humour may include short three nuns jokes also.

  1. A man runs into a bar and shouts, Quick! How tall is a penguin?! The bartender says, Depends. Less than 3 feet.
    The man cries out, Oh my God! I just drove over a nun!
  2. A nun, 3 penguins, and a guy with a parrot on his shoulder walk into a bar The bartender says, what is this? a joke?
  3. 3 nuns are flashed by a pervert in a trench coat 2 of them had a s**.... The other one didn't want to touch it.
  4. 3 little old nuns are sitting on a park bench when a f**... flashes them the first nun has a s**...,
    the second nun has a s**...,
    the third nun couldn't reach
  5. 3 nuns are sitting on a bench. A man in a trench coat walks by and flashes them. 2 of the nuns had a s**.... The third couldn't reach.
  6. My friends favorite 3 nuns are sitting on a bench when a man runs up and flashes them.
    The first nun had a s**....
    The second nun had a s**....
    The third nun couldn't reach.
  7. 3 nuns are walking down a street when A man suddenly jumps out and flashes them. The first nun has a s**.... The second one also has a s**.... The third nun doesn't touch him.

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3 Nuns Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about 3 nuns you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nun convent jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 3 nuns pranks.

3 elderly nuns were sitting on a bench

3 elderly nuns were sitting on a bench. A man in a trench coat walked right up surprised them by flashing them. The first two nuns had a s**....
The third couldn't reach.

3 nuns go up to heaven...

Three nuns go up to heaven. Peter's at the gates and he tells them they have to answer a question before they can come in. So he says to the first one "what was the name of the first woman?" She says "Eve" and he lets her in. He says to the second one "where did Eve live?" She says "the Garden of Eden" and she too is allowed in. Then he says to the third nun "what was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?" She says "oh, that's a hard one", and he says "yeah, you're in…"

4 Nuns

Four Nuns are standing in line for confession.
Nun 1: Forgive me, father, I have seen a n**... man.
Priest: Go wash your eyes in Holy Water and you will be forgiven.
Nun 2: Forgive me, father, I touched a n**... man.
Priest: Go wash your hands in Holy Water and you will be forgiven.
Nun 4 (speaking to Nun 3): Can I go in front of you?
Nun 3 (responding to Nun 4): Why?
Nun 4: I am not going to gargle the Holy Water after you wash your b**... in it.

A nun goes to confession....

A nun goes to confession. She tells the priest, "Bless me father for I have sinned, I have not worn p**... under my dress for about 3 years ".
The priest replies,"no problem my dear, just say 5 Hail Mary's and do a few cartwheels on the way out".

3 nuns are on a bike

Every time they go over s hill the ones in the back go oooooooh and aaaaaaaah after a couple times the one on the front goes will you 2 shut up back there or im gonna put the seats back on

3 nuns at a park

One day, there was 3 nuns at a park. While they were setting at one of the park benches, a random man jumped in front of them and flashed them. The first nun had a s**.... The second nun had a s**...... The third nun couldn't reach.

Bunch of jokes I found from a video, thought they would be good for some ice breakers.

What phone carriers do nuns use? v**... mobile
Why is their bill so high? Because they're roman ( roamin ) catholic
What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef
no legs? ground beef
2 legs? YOUR MOM!

Dave walks into a bar and sees President Donald Trump and Vice-President Mike Pence at a table, deep in discussion.

He doesn't want to interrupt, but they see him, invite him over and they soon get to talking.
We're on track to bomb the Middle East, excitedly claims the President. We're going to reduce those towelheads to a shadow of their former numbers. We're going to kill 3 million Syrians, 4 million Iraqis, 2 million Lebanese and ten nuns from that convent down the road!
Flabbergasted, Dave exclaims, What do the nuns have to do with anything?
The VP turns to the President and says, You can send in the drones tomorrow, Mr President. I told you no one would care about the Middle East.

3 Nuns go to confession. (Semi-n**...)

The first nun says "Father, I have sinned, I have not been not been going to church every Sunday"
The priest says, "Alright that will be 5 hail mary's and God will forgive you."
The second nun says "Father, I have sinned, I have not been performing my duties with charity work since I became a nun"
The priest says, "Alright that will be 5 hail mary's, and 5 our fathers and God will forgive you."
The third nun says "Father, I have sinned, I have not been wearing p**..., and I have been having s**... urges"
The priest says, "Alright that will be 5 hail mary's, and 5 our fathers, and five cartwheels and God will forgive you."

3 nuns were sitting on a bench in the local park

The nuns usually came out here to get away from their convent and get a chance to talk about the attractive men that walked by. This day, however, there was a man who kept watching them from an uncomfortable distance. One of them points him out as he begins to walk towards them. The man is tall, sporting a large trench coat, with long black greasy hair. He walks up right in front of them and undoes his trench coat to reveal a massive e**.... Immediately the first nun looks and has a s**... as well as the second. The third nun tries, but her arms are too short.

3 Nuns

Three nuns were on vacation and travelling in a bus. Sister Veronica was chatting with Sister Frances who was sitting next to her. Across the aisle was Sister Trudy. Sister Trudy was very hard of hearing and was leaning across the aisle and trying to hear what the other two sisters were talking about.
Sister Veronica said, "When I was in Hawaii last year, they had the hugest bananas I ever saw. They were humungous! This long!" she said as she held her hands a foot apart, "and this wide!" she said as she held her hands in a circle. "I had trouble eating one!" she said as she motioned biting down on a banana.
Sister Trudy was leaning further in the aisle, trying to tune in to the conversation of the other two nuns.
Sister Frances then said, "When I was in Florida last year, they had the hugest oranges I have ever seen." She held her palms upturned as if to hold two large oranges. "They were this big!"
Sister Trudy could no longer stand it and shouted out, "Father who????!!!"

There are 3 nuns two that are crying and one who is laughing...

a priest goes up to the first crying nun and asks, "What is wrong sister?" The nun says, "I broke into somebody's house." The priest says, "Go drink from the holy water it will wash away your sins." The next nun says, "Father I stole someone's car." The priest says, "Go drink from the holy water it will wash away your sins." The priest goes up to the laughing nun and asks, "Why are you laughing so hard?" The nun says, "I peed in the holy water."

3 Nuns die in a car c**......

...and as they have all dedicated their lives to God, their souls are immediately sent up to heaven, where they meet St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"Sisters, I know you are all devout followers of Christ, but unfortunately we have protocol to follow up in here in heaven, and I must first ask each of you a simple question before I can let you enter."
The sisters are somewhat surprised, a little nervous, but agree to answer St. Peter's questions.
"Sister Anne," he says, "who was the first man on earth?"
Sister Anne says "Oh that's an easy one, Adam!"
-GONG- The gates of heaven open up, and Sister Anne walks through.
"Sister Mary: who was the first woman on earth?"
Relieved, Sister Mary exclaims "Eve!"
-GONG- The gates open again, and Sister Mary enters, leaving only Sister Theresa behind.
"Sister Theresa...what was the first thing that Eve said to Adam?"
Sister Theresa pauses, the smile disappearing from her face. She realizes she can't think of the answer, despite her best efforts. Scratching her head in confusion and panic, she admits, "That's a really hard one."
-GONG-

A mother superior called 3 nuns and asked them to do a sin or something wrong...

The nuns were hesitant because they didn't want to, but the superior said it would be a lesson in confession.
Then a little later, one came back and was crying
"Why? What did you do?" asked the mother superior
"I picked flowers in the garden."
"Ok your sins are forgiven, go drink the holy water."
The nun did as told, then another nun came, she was also crying
"Why? What did you do?"
"I stole a candy from a kid"
"Ok your sins are forgiven, go drink the holy water."
She also did as told...
Then the last nun came, but she was roaring with laughter
"Why? What did you do?" asked the mother superior sternly
"I peed in the holy water!"

3 nuns and a blind man.

The nuns just finished building the addition to their monastary, but it still had to be painted. The head nun gave 3 of the nuns the task. She says: "Sisters, make sure you don't get any paint on your robes!" The three nuns decided, since there was no one around, to just s**... n**.... They ae painting for a while, when they hear a knock at he door. "Who is it?" one of them asks. The man outside replies: "Blind man!" The sisters agree there would be no harm in letting him in, since he is blind. They open the door, and he exclaims: "Woah, Sister! Where do you want these blinds?"

In a terrible car accident, 3 nuns die at the same time.


They all appear in front of the gates of Heaven to meet Saint Peter.
When they arrive, Peter informs them that those who lived a life of the cloth must answer some basic questions about theology before they are permitted to enter Heaven.
Each of the nuns has studied their bible well, so they don't feel worried by this.
The first nun steps forward and tells the saint that she's ready.
"Who was the first woman?" Peter asks.
"That's easy!" exclaims the nun. "Eve!"
Peter smiles, the bells toll, and the gates of Heaven open.
The second nun, encouraged by her colleagues easy pass, steps forwards and tells Peter that she's ready, as well. "Who was the first man?" Peter asks.
"Easy! That's Adam!" says the nun, excitedly.
Peter smiles, the bells toll, and the gates of Heaven open.
The third nun is now confident that she won't have any trouble, and steps up to face Peter's question. "What were Eve's first words to Adam?" he asks.
"My, that's a hard one," the nun replies worriedly, but Peter smiles, the bells toll, and the gates of Heaven open...