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3 Inch Jokes

65 3 inch jokes and hilarious 3 inch puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 3 inch that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest 3 Inch Short Jokes

Short 3 inch jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 3 inch humour may include short 4 inch jokes also.

  1. Difference between computers and woman Unlike computers a woman will reject a 3 1/2 inch floppy.
  2. It only takes 3 inches to please a woman. And it doesn't matter if it's mastercard, visa or American express.
  3. whats the difference between a woman and a computer? a woman wont accept a 3 1/2 inch floppy.
  4. What's the difference between a woman and a PC from 1995? A woman doesn't accept 3 1/2 inch floppies.
  5. My friend gave me a new "magic" golf ball. As long as you put to within 3 inches of the pin, the ball will always find its way to the hole.
    He did not recommend I keep it in my back pocket.
  6. What's the difference between women and computers? Women don't accept 3 and a half inch floppies
  7. Why are computers better than girlfriends? They're the only ones that can accept a 3 inch floppy.
  8. Why shouldn't you sleep with a weatherman? They'll promise 12 to 14 inches, but you'll only get 3 to 5.
  9. Why are women so bad at parallel parking? Because men have been trying to convince them that 3 inches is 6 inches since the beginning of time.
  10. Things not to say in Subway 1. I would like a 6-inch Hearty Italian.
    2. 6-inch doesn't fill me up.
    3. Yes, give me more meat.
    4. squirt more of that mayo.
    5. I can't take a foot-long.

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3 Inch One Liners

Which 3 inch one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 3 inch? I can suggest the ones about 2 inch and 6 inch.

  1. Lord Nelson was 5ft 6 inches. His statue is 17ft 4 inches. That's Horatio of 3:1.
  2. What's 3 inches long and pleases all women? A credit card.
  3. I'm no weatherman but I know you're going to get 3 inches tonight.
  4. A butcher is 5 ft 3 inches tall, what does he weigh? Meat
  5. Wow! 3 inches of snow fell last night! Or as some guys like to call it, 6.5 inches
  6. Girls call me a wizard Because it's magic what I do with 3 inches.
  7. You wanna know how to please a woman with only 3 inches? You give her a credit card.
  8. What's better than stretching your ear lobe to 3 inches? A job
  9. What's the difference between ooohh and aaahh? 3-inches
  10. I'm 6 foot 3 inches Those are two different measurements
  11. It might be 3 inches But it smells like a foot
  12. Q: What is a difference between Ooooh and Aaaah?
    A: Only 3 inches.
  13. I was backing up my laptop I backed it up 3 inches and then it fell off the table
  14. Went To Subway To Order A "Jared" Ended up getting a video of a 3 inch in the shower
  15. I mean, my d**... only 3 inches. But I've never seen a woman take it wider then that.

3 Inch Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about 3 inch you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean 3 part jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 3 inch pranks.

What do women and modern computers have in common? Neither one will accept a 3 and a half inch floppy.

An artist, a baker and an engineer are in line to be beheaded...

The artist goes first. They put his head in the guillotine and release the mechanism. It stops 3 inches short! The king decides that he'll be merciful and releases him! He's ecstatic!
The baker is next. They put his head in the guillotine and release it. This time it stops 2 inches short. The king also decides he'll be merciful and releases him.
Lastly, the engineer. They put his head in the guillotine and release it. It stops a hair from his head. The engineer screams "I SEE THE PROBLEM!"

Is it true what every girls wants is 9 inches?

Cos I'm not chopping 3 inches off for anybody!

A long way to go for a bad pun

In Russia in the early 1800's, there was a weather man named Rudolph. He was very good at his job, but he was particularly famous for predicting rain. One morning, it was bright and sunny outside, without a cloud in the sky. However, Rudolph predicted that there would be a huge rain storm, bigger than anyone had ever seen. People laughed and thought it was ridiculous, but sure enough, that night it rained more than anyone in Russia had ever seen. In only 3 hours, it rained over 10 inches! That morning, Rudolph's wife was astounded. "I can't believe you were right about this, honey!" she said, surprised. Rudolph just laughed and said, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Just before my girlfriend and I had s**... for the first time...

I told her I was gonna give her 9 inches. Just as long as she was willing to take 3 inch payments

Life Before The Computer

Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And if you had a 3 inch floppy ..
... you just hoped nobody ever found out!!

What's 3 inches long and hasn't been s**... in nearly 3 years?

Amy Winehouse's crack pipe.

Planting potatoes in Chicago

So there's this old Pakistani man who lives alone in Chicago. One day he sends an e-mail to his son Ahmad :
"Dear son, I would love to plant some potatoes in the backyard but I'm old and lonely, I can't plow the land without your help. With love, your father."
Later that night, Ahmad responds :
"Dear dad, for the love of God PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH THE LAND ! I have buried "the thing" there. Your loving son, Ahmad."
That same night at 3 in the morning, 4 FBI agents broke into the father's house and investigated the backyard, inch by inch, without finding anything. They went away without being noticed.
Ahmad sent another email to his father : "Dear father, I am 100% positive that the land is now plowed. I couldn't have done it better myself. Ahmad."

My wife told me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt.

I stuck it in her 3 times and punched her arm.

3 1/2 Inches is the avg size a woman needs to be happy.

MasterCard, Visa, American Express, ect...

I'm a man-w**.... 1 dollar, 1 inch rule.

1 dollar gets you 1 inch.
3 dollars, ya get it all.

My wife told me to give her 6 inches and make it hurt

So I banged her 3 times and punched her in the face

[My first ever submission!] A man is driving through a shady part of town...

...When he pulls up at a stop sign.
A woman of the night, about 3 inches tall, approaches his car and shouts to him in a voice that betrays any femininity; "Hey darl, you looking for a good time? I'm only 10 cents per hour."
The driver replies "Sorry, I don't want any micro-transactions."

My Last 3 Boyfriends gossip

Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing the boyfriends they've had in the last year.
One girl says "The last 3 boyfriends I've had, I've named after soda pops. The first one I called 7 Up, because he had 7 inches and he knew how to keep it up.
The second one I called mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what to do.
The third I called Jack Daniels. Then the other girl interrupts saying "Hold on a minute. Isn't Jack Daniels hard liquor?"
The girl smiles and says "Yes it is"

Why are women bad at judging distance?

(_hold your hands about 3 inches apart_)

They were taught that's 8 inches.

What's the problem with a nuclear engineer with boundary issues?

You give them an inch and they take 3 miles.

So, my 3 year old cousin was over this morning.

I needed to grab a quick shower as I let him watch cartoons in the living room. When I came out, there was black permanent marker all over my 55 inch TV screen. I LITERALLY FREAKED OUT. Does anyone know what is best used to clean blood out of a carpet?

Weather girl: …. and because of the cold front coming in from North-East,

we can expect about 3 inches of snow, or, as my colleague Bill would say, 8 inches.  

Why do women have a hard time with spacial relationships?

Because they've always been told by men that 3 or 4 inches it's at least 6 inches

True story: I'm at a music festival with my wife and she is looking good.

I convince her to go to the port-a-potties. I ask here how high do you think the floor is off the ground. She says "I don't know, 3 inches?". I seductively ask her if she would like to accompany me in to the port-a-pottie and Join the 3 inch club. She looks at me sarcastically and says......"Oh, I've already joined the 3 inch club!!!" OUCH!

She said give me nine inches and make it hurt...

So I s**... her 3 times and punched her in the back of the head.

Scientists have confirmed it only takes 3 1/4 inches to please a woman.

It's true! Just go measure your mastercard.

After s**... one night my wife said she wished she could get 3 more inches...

So the next day I put a lift kit on her mini van.

Doctor, i want to die.

An old lady visits her usual Doctor. And says " Doc, I've had a long hard life. I'm sick and tired of being constantly sick and tired. I just want to end all my suffering. So, I thought I would ask you where the best place to shoot myself would be. That would be quick and painless." To which the Doctor replies, at first with condolences. When he finlay finds that she is inconsolable. He relents and says that he would never recommend anyone shoot themselves, but the best place to do it would be exactly 3 inches below the left breast.
The next day a young man runs into the office and exclaims "DOCTOR, YOU HAVE TO HELP MY GRANDMA JUST SHOT HERSELF IN THE KNEE!"

I went to the doctor today for a checkup and he showed me on a chart that I'm 20 pounds overweight.

But, I pointed out that using his very same data, *I'm not overweight.* I just need to be 3 inches taller.