3 Guys Jokes
86 3 guys jokes and hilarious 3 guys puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 3 guys that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest 3 Guys Short Jokes
Short 3 guys jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 3 guys humour may include short three guys jokes also.
- 3 guys are on a boat and they have 4 cigarettes but nothing to light them with. What do they do? They throw one cigarette off the boat and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
- Saw my ex... On my way home from work last year i saw my ex being beaten up by 3 guys, i stopped the car and ran over to help...she didnt stand a chance against 4 of us.
- Given the terms crab , tuna , lobster , and Chinese guy caught in an avalanche of boulders , which does not fit? Ans: tuna . The other 3 are crushed asians.
- So there's this girl named Mary... 1. Mary meets a guy named Joseph
2. Mary ends up pregnant
3. ???
4. Prophet - 3 guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes, but no lighter So one of the guys throws a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
- I hate when people ask me what I'm going to be doing in 3 years Like come on guys, I don't have 2020 vision!
- 3 guys are on a boat with four cigarettes and nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
- A black guy and a white guy each drink 3 beers at a bar, who pays the bill? They each pay for their own because men aren't complicated
- The hitchhiker A guy with 3 eyes, one leg, and no arms is hitchhiking. Suddenly a nice English gent pulls over and says "eye, eye, eye, you look 'armless, hop in."
- I Won a fight, 3 against 1 To be fair, having two guys help you out makes it a really easy fight.
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3 Guys One Liners
Which 3 guys one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 3 guys? I can suggest the ones about three men and three people.
- The guy next to me on pump 3 put $10 worth of gas in his car. Where's he going, pump 4?
- Jesus was gay. He was nailed by 3 guys.
- Did you hear about those 3 guys who stole a Calender? They each got 4 months.
- You heard about the guy that added 3, 20, and 46? The Summer of 69
- 3 guys walk into a bar you would think one of them would have seen it.
- Have you guys heard the one about the girl who went 1,3,5,7,9? She couldn't even.
- 1 in 3 guys are gay I really hope it's my buddy Kyle, he's kinda cute.
- Wow! 3 inches of snow fell last night! Or as some guys like to call it, 6.5 inches
- 3 guys walked into a bar... I was outside, i didn't see what happend...
- 3 guys walk into a bar... ... the fourth one ducks.
- 3 Guys walk into a building Surely one of them would have seen it coming?
- 3 guys walk into a bar... The 4th guy ducked.
- Guy 1- My half brother is 6'3'' Guy 2- Wow! Imagine if he was full.
- I saw this guy today muttering "1,3,5,7,9..." under his breath. I thought he was odd.
- What does an epileptic guy call 3 AM The twitching hour
3 Guys Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about 3 guys you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean three brothers jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 3 guys pranks.
3 guys and one girl are stranded on a desert island.
After one week the girl is so ashamed of what she is doing that she kills herself.
After another week the guys are so ashamed of what they are doing that...they bury her.
Another week goes by and the guys are so ashamed of what they've been doing...so they dig her back up.
Two men are walking down the street
When they see 3 guys across the road beating up an older woman. Fred turns to George and says
"Hey, isn't that your mother in law over there?"
"So it is." replies George
"Well aren't you going to help?!" Fred asked.
"Nah," George replied, "I think 3 should be enough"
You know how Canada got its name right?
It was 3 guys sitting around a table and the first guy goes, "what about a C, eh?" the second guy says "yea what about an N eh?" and the last guy says "what about a D eh?"
I don't know if this has been told here before but it's definitely my goto joke.
Four guys are at a high school reunion and one of them goes to the restroom..
Four guys are at a high school reunion and one of them goes to the restroom.
The other three guys start talking about how succesful their sons are.
Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a cardealership and just gave his best friend a Ferarri.
Guy 2: Thats nothing, my son owns an airliner and just gave his best friend a private jet
Guy 3: Well my son is more success than that, he owns an architecture firm and just gave his best friend a castle
Guy 4 walks out of the bathroom and walks over to the other 3 guys
Guy 4: Hey guys what are we talking about
Guy 1: Oh, we are talking about how successful our sons are
Guy 4:Well, my son is a Gay stripper
Guy 2: You must be so dissappointed with what he's done with his life
Guy 4: Actually, he is doing very well for himself. He just got a Ferrari, a jet, and a caste from his three boyfriends.
Dreams.
3 guys are camping, and after a night of drinks & laughs around the fire, they climb into their tent and fall asleep side by side.
The next morning, the guy on the left wakes up smiling. "I had a dream I was getting j**... off all night by a supermodel!"
The guy on the right chimes in. "Me too, but it was my hot neighbour!"
The guy in the middle looks a bit dejected. "Lucky b**.... I just dreamed I was skiing."
3 guys are sleeping in a bed
the next morning the one sleeping on the right side of the bed said "I had this awsome dream that i was getting a h**...." The guy sleeping on the left side said "Really? I had a dream i was getting a h**... too." The guy that was sleeping in the middle said "idk about you guys, but i had a dream i was skiing"
3 guys on a boat
There are 3 guys on a boat with 4 cigarettes but have nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
A man worked at construction site...
...and is brought to emergency room with concussion and skull fracture.
His wife, furious, comes to hospital.
"What happened?!"
"Well, I asked John to throw me the hammer..."
"And then what?! You didn't catch it?"
"In matter of fact *I did*. But then I remembered we have 3 guys named John working on our site..."
I saw an old man get jumped by 3 guys, so i decided to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the 4 of us.
Two men are sitting at a bar....
The first man tells his buddy, "I saw my boss being beaten up by 3 guys when I was leaving here last Friday."
The second man says, "Did you help?"
The first man replies, "Nope, they seemed like they were doing a good job."
3 guys are driving in the desert and their car breaks down...
Their destination is 2 days away on foot, so the guys decide to take pieces of the car so they don't die.
First guy says "I'll take the radiator, we can drink the water from this"
Second guy says "I'll take the hood of the car, it will give us shade"
Third guy says "I'll take the door, I can roll the window down if it gets too hot"
I saw 3 guys beating someone up today. I knew I had to step in and help.
The little s**...t didn't stand a chance against the 4 of us.
3 guys walk into a car
No not a bar. A car. They were looking at their phones while crossing the street
3 guys were in an apartment and had to share the same bed for the night.
The next morning the guys decided to share their dreams they had the night before.
The guy sleeping on the left said, I had a dream that I received the most amazing h**...!
The guy sleeping on the right said, No way! I also had the best h**... in my dream!
The guy sleeping in the middle said, Wow you guys are lucky, my dream wasn't as relaxing. I dreamt that I had to ski up a very steep slope.
Statistics show that 1 in 3 guys are gay.
Personally I hope it's Steve, he's pretty dreamy.
3 Guys on an island
3 guys are stranded on an island and one day they find a bottle.
When they pick it up a genie appears and says he will grant them each one wish.
The first guys says "I wish I was home" p**..... He goes home.
The second guy says "I wish I was home" p**..... He goes home.
The third guy says "I'm lonely, I wish the other 2 guys were back here"
Was driving down the street when I saw someone getting jumped by 3 guys. I quickly pulled over and ran towards the scene.
I got there and the 4 of us messed him up good.
Source: 75 year old Mexican father-in-law
3 guys come back late from a night of drinking...
They met for brunch for the next day.
Guy 1: I drank way to much, first thing I did when I got home I blew Chunks...
Guy 2: That's nothing, I wrapped my car around a tree on my way home.
Guy 3: I beat all of you, I was arguing with my wife and knocked a candle over! It destroyed the whole house.
It went silent for a minute.
Guy 1: I don't think you guys understand. Chunks is my dog.
3 guys just arrived to heaven and...
3 guys just arrived to heaven and then Jesus proceeds to call by their names:
- "Rand" kiss my hand!
- "Pete" kiss my feet!
Then Jesus: Rick!? Why are you running?
3 guys worked on top of the empire state building.
They all had the same stuff for lunch every day and they said if they had it again they would jump to their deaths.
The Irish guy had a different meal so he lived.
The German guy had a different meal so he lived.
The polish guy had the same meal so he jumped to his death.
when talking to the wife she said I don't know why he did this. he made his own lunch every day
3 guys break down in the middle of the desert
The first one says he'll take the hood to use as shade.
The second one says he'll take the radiator because he can drink the water left in it.
The third guy says he'll take the door so if he gets hot he can roll the window down.
Once I saw 3 guys beating up o**... on his own so I ran over and helped out...
that dude didn't stand a chance against the 4 of us
There was 3 guys and 4 cigarettes on a boat.
They didn't know how to light it, so they threw a cigarette overboard and it became a CIGARETTE LIGHTER.
3 guys help release a genie so they were granted 1 wish each
The first guy wish to become a beautiful women
Seeing how beautiful she was, the second guy wish for that women to be forever in love with him
They started to make out, out of jealousy the third guy then wish to reverse the 1st guy wish
3 guys walk into a bar...
One of them is Mexican, another African and an American. The American looks at the other two and says "is this some kind of joke?"
Just saw 3 guys in turbans driving with the top down
I guess they are 3 Sikhs to the wind
3 guys walk into a bar..
They're all blind.
What do you call a girl who has s**... with 3 guys at once?
Air tight
Stranded on a boat
3 guys were on a boat, each one had a cigarette but none had a cigarette lighter. One threw the cigarette out in the water and now the boats a cigarette lighter.
3 guys hike up a mountain...
3 guys are in a log cabin
They all have to share a bed. The guy on the right wakes up and says that he had dreamt of getting the best h**... of his life. The guy on the right said that he had also dreamt of getting an amazing h**.... The guy in the middle wakes up confused, and said that he ha dreamt that he was skiing.
There are 3 guys in prison...
The guard asks the first guy how high he can jump. 1 meter he awnsers. Okay says the guard you get 1 sandwich.
#
The guard goes to next prisoner and asks how high the man can jump. 2 meters he says. Okay says the guard you get 2 sandwiches.
#
The third guy who was listening thought in his head: I am hungry, if I say I can jump 20 meters I get 20 sandwiches.
#
So the guard asks the last man how high he can jump. 20 meters says the man.
##GET HIM
Shouts the guard.
##HE CAN JUMP OVER THE WALL
3 guys on a plane
The 1st guy has a penny,
The 2nd guy has a quarter,
The 3rd guy has a bomb,
They all throw them out of the plane then land to go see where they had fallen,
The 1st guy finds a kid crying and asks him why he is crying the kid replies "I was just playing here and a penny hit me on the head,
The 2nd guy also found a kid crying and asked him why he was crying and the kid said "I was standing here watching birds and a quarter hit me on the head"
The 3rd guy had found a kid laughing and asked him why he was laughing the kid said "I f**... and the building behind me blew up"
3 guys are on a plane
First guy throws out an apple and the other two ask him why he threw it out and he said to see where it would land.
Second guy throws out an orange and the other two ask him why he threw it out and he said to see where it would land.
Third guy throws out a grenade and the other two ask why and he says to see where it would land
So they go to find their stuff they first see a boy crying and ask why he is crying and he says an apple hit his head so they move on.
They then come across a girl crying and ask why she is crying and she says an orange hit her head so they move on.
They come across a boy laughing and ask what's so funny and he says grandpa f**... and the house exploded.
3 guys were riding in a car; a hardware technician, a systems analyst and a programmer.
The systems analyst is driving and when they come to a steep hill he finds that the brakes have failed and the car is accelerating out of control.
So, he pumps the emergency brake, downshifts the gears, and rubs the wheels' rims against the curb. He finally wrestles the car to a stop. The three climb out and assess the situation.
Hardware tech: "Let's try and fix it. I'll crawl under the car and take a look. "
Systems analyst: "No. I think we should get someone qualified to fix it, a specialist in brakes."
Programmer: "Why don't we just get back in and see if it happens again?
3 guys walk into a hospital, 2 come out.
Who's American?
3 guys walk into a bar...
Guy 1: Oh boy, I'm not drinking with you fellas. Last time I drank with you I got in trouble with the wife. Her parents were home for the night and when I got home I blew chunks in the living room in front of them.
Guy 2: That's nothing! When I got home my wife's mother was over and instead of sleeping with me wife I slept with her mother!
Guy 3: Well when I last drunk with you fellas I got home, My wife was with her friend who was getting married and I spewed all over the dress.
Guy 1: Fellas you don't understand... Chunks is my dog.
My dad's favorite joke
3 guys are driving through the desert when their car breaks down. They grab as much of their supplies as they can carry and start walking.
The first guy turns to the second guy and says ''I brought all our food cause you can't grow anything in the desert.''
The second guy replies ''I brought all our water cause it doesn't rain in the desert.''
The third guy is slowly trailing behind. The two guys ask ''Hey what are you doing?''
Dragging the car door behind him the third guy shouts ''In case it gets hot we can roll the window down!''
What's the difference between a baby and a Ferrari?
You can't fit more than 3 guys in a Ferrari
3 guys are waiting while their wives give birth
A nurse emerges from the back and says, "Mr. David, come on back, your wife has delivered two beautiful babies!"
"Wow! Twins, huh? That's interesting, I'm from the twin rivers." Said Mr. David
After another hour, a second nurse comes into their room and says, "Mr. Smith, you wife has had healthy triplets!"
"That's awesome!" Replied Mr. Smith, "I'm from the three islands, Jonu, Frot and Trik." And with that he went back with the nurse
The third man begins sweating and praying. The first nurse returns to see if he's fine and if he needs anything. He looks terrified so she asks what's wrong.
"I'm from the forest of 1,000 trees!!"
3 guys walk into a bar
And one of them gets r**...
3 Guys walk into a bar...
and only one of them becomes a lawyer.
What do you call a Five Guys restaurant in Africa?
3 Guys
Successful Sons.
Four friends met up for a game of golf, and while one man went to grab a drink, the other three men spoke about how successful their sons are.
Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a car dealership and just gave his best friend a Ferarri.
Guy 2: Thats nothing, my son owns an airliner and just gave his best friend a private jet
Guy 3: Well my son is more success than that, he owns an architecture firm and just gave his best friend a castle
Guy 4 walks back to the group of the other 3 guys
Guy 4: Hey guys what are we talking about
Guy 1: Oh, we are talking about how successful our sons are
Guy 4:Well, my son is a Gay stripper
Guy 2: You must be so disappointed with what he's done with his life
Guy 4: Actually, he is doing very well for himself. He just got a Ferrari, a jet, and a castle from his three boyfriends.
3 guys in a nudist colony...
...a politician, a general, and an esteemed professor. They're happily enjoying their 'air bath' when they notice a photographer from a newspaper peering over the fence trying to get an embarrassing photo of them.
The politician and the general both immediately cover their g**... but the professor covers his face, the other two notice this and ask him, "what are you doing?" To which he replies, "I'm fairly certain I'm more recognizable for my f**... features than my g**....
3 guys walked into a bar to watch football...
none of them knew what was going on.
3 guys walk into a bar...
Socrates, Epictetus, and Descartes walk into a bar. Socrates goes up to the bartender first and the bartender asks him: "what's your poison?" Socrates say hemlock, takes a swig of some the bartender gives him and promptly dies. Next, Epictetus goes up to the bartender who asks Epictetus what he can bring him. Epictetus responds with: "It matters not, I will choose to like whatever you bring." So the bartender gets him a beer. Finally, Descartes goes up to the bartender. The bartender asks him if he can get him a beer like his friends, but Descartes says "I think not" and then disappears from existence.
TL;DR version: Socrates committed assisted-s**... by drinking hemlock. Epictetus had a whole "mind-over-matter" thing going for him so he could deal whatever life brought him. And, Descartes was the guy who said "Cogito ergo sum" (I think, therefore I am).
3 guys are lost and stumble upon a farm.
There was a indian, a jew, and a mexican. They asked if they could sleep there for the night. The man says "sure but one of you will have to sleep in the barn" the indian says "it is fine I will sleep in the barn" about a minute later there's a knock on the door, it's the Indian and he says "im sorry but I can not sleep in the barn there is a cow and it is a sacred animal" so the jew says "its fine I can sleep in the barn" about a minute later there's a knock on the door, its the jew. He says "im sorry but I can't sleep in the barn, there's a pig and it's not Kosher" so the mexican says " it is okay, I will sleep in the barn" about a minute later there's a knock on the door. It's the donkey.
3 guys are sentenced to death...
They say to the first one "you can choose how you want to die: shot, hanged, or with the electric chair". He says "getting shot is too violent, and I don't want to be hanged. I choose the electric chair". He sits on it, but when they turn it on the electric chair doesn't electrocute him, so he is left free. Before he leaves, he says to the second guy "the electric chair is broken"."Gotcha" says the second guy, and when they ask him how he wants to die, he confidently says "getting shot is too violent, and I don't want to be hanged. I choose the electric chair". The chair fails again, so he is free. Before leaving, he says to the third guy "the electric chair is broken"."Gotcha" says the third guy. When they ask him how he wants to die, he says "getting shot is too violent, the electric chair is broken, I choose being hanged".
Kidneys.
3 guys are waiting in line to see the release board in a psychiatric ward.
The first guy walks in and the board says, "Point to your knees." The man points to his elbow so the board revokes his release.
The second guy walks in and the board says, "Point to your ear." The man points to his foot so the board revokes his release.
The third guy walks in and the board says, "Point to your heart." The man points to his heart. The board says "now point to your foot", and the man points to his foot. The board is satisfied with his responses and approves his release. On his way out, the first two guys approach him and ask how he got all the answers right. The man points to his brain and says, "I got kidneys."
3 guys get stranded in the desert after the car runs out of gas...
With no one and nothing in sight, the three men decided to each get one thing to carry and start walking to the next town over.
The first guy gets a jug of water and the other 2 guys ask what it is for... "Incase we get thirsty he says"
The second guy opens the trunk and gets out a blanket and the other 2 guys ask what it is for... "Incase we get cold at night"
The third guy unhinges the car door and the other 2 guys ask what it is for... "Incase we get hot, we can just roll down the window"
-This is an old joke I remember from elemetary, had to fill in a few.
3 guys went for an archery competition...
The first guy shoots an arrow into the sky and out of nowhere, a hawk swoops in and catches that arrow and plants it on the bulls eye.
"Who are you?" asked the judge.
"I am Hawkeye.", the first guy replied smugly.
The second guy shoots 2 arrows up into the sky and miraculously, 2 pigeons fly by, catch the arrows with their beaks and plant it on the bulls eye for him.
"Who are you?", asked the bewildered judge.
"I am Oliver Queen." he smirked.
The last guy feeling the pressure of the momentous task to impress shoots 3 arrows into the sky but only to have all of them fell at terminal velocity and p**... the judge on the a**....
"Wh..wh...who are you?", he groans in great pain.
"I am sorry..."
I got a good Kiwi Joke
A man walks into a bar and excitedly says to the bar tender, "Hey mate, I got a good Kiwi joke, want to hear it?
The bar tender replies, "I don't know about that bro, I'm a Kiwi"
"No, no, its a good one" the man says.
"Well Jim at the end of the bar is also a Kiwi" says the bar tender. "Those 2 bouncers on the door, they are Maoris, and those 3 guys behind you within ear shot are members of the Mongrel Mob biker gang"
"Are you sure you still want to tell it?" asks the bar tender.
The man pauses for a couple seconds and disappointingly says "No, I suppose your right, I don't want to have to explain it 4 times."
Mom's birthday gifts
3 guys, who were brothers, were all discussing what gifts they were getting for their elderly mother for her birthday.
The first brother, named Michael, said, "I bought mom her very own Lexus and chauffeur. She was always complaining about not being able to drive well."
Jeremy, the second brother, said,"Well I bought mom a p**... apartment. She always complains about the house she lives in."
Lucas, the third brother, said, "Since mom always complains about not being able to read her bible well due to her poor vision, I bought a parrot that can recite bible verses perfectly!"
3 weeks later, the boys receive a letter from their mother. It read:
"To my 3 dear boys:
Thank you for all your nice gifts. However, I couldn't use the car that Michael gave me because I'm too old to go out anymore and the chauffeur is mean. The new p**... is nice, but it is too big for me to clean each day and I'm only ever in the bedroom. But Lucas, you did a fine job in choosing a gift. The chicken was delicious."
3 men are riding in an airplane over their city
3 guys were in a Cessna Airplane flying over the city they lived in. The first man said "I love my city so much, I'm gonna drop this 50 cent coin out the window for someone to find. That will make their day!" So he threw it out.
The second man pulled out a roll of coins and said "I love my city so much that I'll throw this whole roll of coins out the window! And he threw it out.
The third man hated his city, so he pulled out an incendiary grenade and said "I hate my city so much I'm dropping this out the window!" So he pulled the pin and pitched it.
Later that day, the third man was walking through the streets when he saw a little girl crying, so he asked her what was wrong. She said "both my dad and grandpa were hit by coins that fell out of the sky! Now my dads in the hospital with a coma and my grandpa got startled and had a heart attack!"
After the man consoled the little girl, he kept walking until he saw a boy rolling around laughing on the sidewalk in front of a pile of charred wood. When the man asked him what was so funny, the kid said
"I f**... and my house burst into flames!"
So god asked 3 guys...
Three men die and end up meeting god.
God greets each of them personally and says their hellos. God then asks each one of them an important question.
"Each of you must choose one thing to have in a room for a thousand years. Choose wisely."
God asks the first man..."I want all the booze I can have god!" His wish is granted.
God asks the second man..."I want all the women in the world god!" His wish is granted.
God asks the third man..."I want all the w**... in the world!" His wish is granted.
1000 years go by.
The first man stumbles out falling left and right with a giant bottle of beer in his hand.
The second man comes out looking exhausted yet satisfied.
The third man is curled in the fetal position in the corner of the room, rocking back and forth. God comes over to him and asks him what's wrong.
"Can I have a light."
3 guys are eating lunch at work
The first guy pulls out a turkey sandwich.
"d**..., I hate turkey, if i get this tomorrow, I'm going to kill myself."
The second guy pulls out a pastrami sandwich.
"d**..., I hate pastrami, if i get this tomorrow, I'm going to kill myself."
The third guy pulls out a ham sandwich.
"d**..., I hate ham, if i get this tomorrow i'm going to kill myself."
So the next day all three men get the same sandwich as the day before, so they kill themselves.
At the f**..., two of the three wives were crying, as they felt responsible because they prepared the lunches.
However, the third guys wife was shaking her head. The other two wives asked "why aren't you crying" to which she replied
"That d**... makes his own lunch"
3 guys go to heaven...
3 men go to Heaven. They are greeted by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. Saint Peter says to the 3 men, "Welcome to Heaven. There is only 1 rule in Heaven. Do not step on the ducks. God loves his ducks more than anything else, and you will be punished if you step on a duck." Saint Peter opens the gates, and lets the 3 men in. When they enter, they immediately notice that ducks are everywhere. They would have to be very careful not to step on the ducks.
A few days go by. One of the men accidentally steps on a duck. All of a sudden an angel appears and handcuffs the ugliest looking woman he has ever seen to him. The angel leaves.
A few weeks go by, and one of the other men steps on a duck. Again, an angel appears and handcuffs an extremely ugly woman to him.
The third man is very careful to never step on a duck. 3 years go by, and he never steps on a duck. One day an angel appears and handcuffs the most attractive, beautiful woman the man has ever seen to him. Before the man can question it, the angel disappears. The man looks over at the woman and says, "I don't know what I did, but it must have been something good." The woman replies, "I don't know about you, but I just stepped on a duck."
.
.
Sorry if this joke is really old. It is one my grandfather used to tell me this joke all the time. Just passing it along.
Superman grandpa
On the first day of school the teacher asks the children to go home and ask for a family history story that has a morale in it. So one child comes to school the next day and tells the teacher this: you see, my grandpa was a bomber pilot. His plane was shot and he had to bail out. On his body was an empty bottle of whiskey, a knife and a gun. When he landed there were 20 enemy guards waiting for him. He killed fifteen men with the gun. Until it ran out of bullets. Killed 3 guys with his knife until the blade broke off, then killed the last 2 with his bare hands. Then the teacher reply's that was a very violent story and what was the morale?
Stay away from grandpa when he's drunk.