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3 Blondes Jokes

93 3 blondes jokes and hilarious 3 blondes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 3 blondes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest 3 Blondes Short Jokes

Short 3 blondes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 3 blondes humour may include short three blondes jokes also.

  1. One blonde says to the another: "Hey, let's yell simultaneously! 3, 2, 1 "SIMULTANEOUSLY!! SIMULTANEOUSLY!!!"
  2. A Blonde. Rushed into her family all excited , they say to her why are you so happy.?
    She replied, I have just completed a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.
    On the box it says, 3 to 4 years.
  3. What's the difference between a blonde and a community college Well, they are both pretty easy to get into, but I don't have 3 community colleges under my basement. That would be ridiculous.
  4. Why did the blonde return the bag of M&M's to the store? Because a quarter of them were W's, and a quarter E's, and a quarter 3's...
  5. 3 Brazilian A blonde was listening to the radio when suddenly she heard "3 Brazilian men died in a fatal car accident." The woman then asked, "How much is a Brazilian?"
  6. No matter who you vote tonight to become our next president.. there is going to be a blonde sitting in the Oval Office in about 3 months..
  7. I told my blonde coworker that if she could guess how many dollars were in my pocket, I'd give her both of them... She said "3."
  8. Why was the blonde so proud of herself? She finished a puzzle in 5 hours, the box said 3-5 years.
  9. Puzzling The blonde was so pleased with herself, she finished the jigsaw puzzle in 3 months! The box said 3\-5 years.
  10. How many blonde does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: 3.
    One to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the ladder.

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3 Blondes One Liners

Which 3 blondes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 3 blondes? I can suggest the ones about working blondes and blonde redhead and brunette.

  1. Why were there 3 holes in the mirror? A blonde tried to kill herself.

3 Blondes Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about 3 blondes you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blond girl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 3 blondes pranks.

There were three women. a brown headed a brunette and a blonde. they were talking then they started talking about s**.... The brown headed one said i'm gonna have 3 baby's. The brunette said she was gonna have twins. And the blonde started crying and the other two women asked her what was wrong. And the blonde said she was gonna have baby dogs because she had s**... d**...!

3 women were on a island, a blonde, a brunette, and a red head.

They find a magic lamp which a genie pops out of. He grants them all one wish. The red head wishes that a boat would come and get her. Soon after a boat appears and she is saved. The brunette wishes that a plane will come to get her. Soon after a plane appears and she is saved. The blonde starts to get bored and says "I wish my friends were here!"

A girl came skipping home from school one day.


"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10.
See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied.
The next day, the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G.
See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25."

A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line down the middle of the road.
He was skeptical about hiring her, but she appeared enthusiastic and told him that she really needed the job.
He explained to her that her work day would be to complete 2 miles of line on her road, and he set her up with her brushes and paint and got her started.
After the first day, he was pleased to find that she did an excellent job and was able to paint 4 miles of road in her 8 hour shift.
He told her that she did an excellent job and how pleased he was with her progress.
On the second day, she completed painting 2 miles of road.
Her supervisor was surprised that on day one she had completed twice as much work, but did not say anything, as 2 miles of road was the amount that the job required anyway.
He decided to just accept it, and to look forward to the next day when he was sure she would pick up her speed again.
On day 3 he was shocked to learn that in her 8 hour shift, she only completed painting 1 mile of road.
He called her into his office and asked her what was the problem, “On your first day, you completed 4 miles of road, on your second day, 2 miles of road, and now on day 3, you were only able to complete 1 mile of road. Can I ask you, what is the problem?”
“Well, she replied, I keep getting farther and farther from the paint can.”

Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde?
A: h**.

.., h**..., h**..., and to all a good night.

h**...


A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu:
"Cheeseburgers: $5
Fries: $3
h**...: $10."
He walks up to the window and asks the beautiful blonde working behind the counter, "Are you the one that gives the h**...?"
"Yes, I am," she replies seductively.
"Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

3 women of different hair colours get shipwrecked on a small desert island 1km away from a civilised island.

The first woman, who has brown hair, attempts to swim to the civilised island, but only gets 200 metres before getting tired and swimming back. The next woman, with black hair, sees the first one's attempt and also tries. She gets 400 metres before tiring and swimming back. The blonde then has a try, gets 800 metres, tires, and swims back.

One blondes finishes a puzzle in three months and she is so happy she tells everyone.

John asks: "Why are you so happy? Three months is a long time" She answers: " Actually it's not. On the box it says 3-5 years."

A man and a blonde.

A man who had heard way to many 'blonde jokes' was sitting next to a blonde woman. The man decided to play a prank on the blonde since he assumed she was just a dumb blonde.
He told her: " Hey, let's play a game. I'm going to ask you a question and if you answer wrong then you give me 50 cents. And then you ask me a question and if I answer wrong, I give you 50 dollars."
She agreed. And then the man said ladies first.
The blonde asked the man: " What animal has 7 heads and 3 legs?"
The man couldn't think of an answer so he pulled up his laptop and searched the internet for the answer. He couldn't find it so he gave up and gave the blonde 50 dollars. Then he asked her, "so whats the answer?"
She said, "I don't know" and gave the man 50 cents.

3 Women In A Bar

A redhead asks the bartender for a ML:
Bartender - "what's a ML?"
redhead - " Miller Lite - DUH!"
The Brunette asks for a BL:
Bartender - "what's a BL?"
brunette - "Bud Lite - DUH!"
The Blonde asks for a "15"
Bartender - "what's a "15"?"
Blond - " Seven and seven - DUH!"

Blonds and Blind Cowboys






An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,

'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair,

Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head

and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times


A mid 30's guy is grocery shopping, and a 20 something blonde catches his eye.

She looks very familiar, but he can't remember where he met her. When they moved closer, she said to him, "Hi - I think you're the father of one of my children."
The guy freaks out. He says, "I've only cheated on my wife 3 times - in Vegas 5 years ago, in Orlando 4 years ago, and in Seattle 3 years ago. You look familiar, but I just can't remember. Who are you?"
She says, "I'm your son's Sunday school teacher."

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things.
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
'Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

When 3 Women Escape...

A blonde, a brunette, and redhead escape from prison late one night. Closely in pursuit and on their heels are the police. The 3 convicts come to a farm with a dark barn and find empty sacks which they decide to hide in for cover.
The police track the women to the farm and begin to check the barn but come up empty handed. Taking their leave, they notice 3 sacks moving and become curious. "Whaddya say, Hal? We best check these here sacks just in cases theys be hidin in dem."
The officers nudge the first sack, which the brunette has hidden in, and it begins to make noises, "Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!" The polices firmly agree with one another that this sack is just filled with kittens. Upon nudging the second sack, this time with the redhead inside, noise come from it, as well, "Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!"
"Heck, Stu, these here sacks ain't filled with nothing but farm pets. They's gals done gave us the slip agin!" Just as the officers are taking their leave, they notice the third sack, this one with the blonde in it, wriggling. Eyeing it suspiciously, they nudge it and the sound comes from it saying, "Potatoes!"

3 Blonds in the Forest

.... came upon some tracks. The first blond said, "are these deer tracks?" The other two said, "Oh no,these aren't deer tracks." The second blond said, "These have to be rabbit tracks!" In disagreement, the other two blonds said, "No, I don't think these are rabbit tracks." The third blond said, "I know I know!!! These are bear tracks!!!" Again, the other two blonds said, "No, these aren't bear tracks." ...They kept arguing on and on until a train came by and hit them.

A blonde and a lawyer are sitting next to each other on a train.

The lawyer, assuming he could make some easy money, wanted to play a game with the blonde; he would ask her a question, and if she could not answer, she would pay him $5. Then she would ask him a question, and if he could not answer, he would pay her $5.
The blonde had no interest in playing with the the lawyer, so he offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5. But every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
The blonde thought about it for about a minute, and decided she did not know the answer. So she gave him his $5.
She then asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous phone calls, trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

A blonde and a lawyer

are sitting next to each other on a plane. To pass the time, the lawyer suggests playing a game that tests general knowledge. The blonde is reluctant, but finally agrees when the lawyer offers to give her 10 to 1 odds. "Every time you don't know the answer to one of my questions, you have to give me 5 dollars," he says "every time I don't know the answer to one of your questions, I have to give you 50."
The lawyer starts, "how far is the earth from the sun?" The blonde doesn't know. She gives him 5 dollars and the lawyer replies, "the earth is 92,960,000 miles from the sun."
The blonde asks the lawyer, "what goes up a hill with 3 legs, and comes back down with 4?" The lawyer thinks for a moment, but is unable to come up with an answer. He hands her a 50 dollar bill. The blonde takes it, puts it in her purse, and looks back at the lawyer.
"Well?" The lawyer asks, "what was the answer to your question?" Without saying a word, the blonde hands him 5 dollars.

A blond is driving down the road....

when a cop pulls her over for the tail light being broken. The cop approaches the car when he hears rumbling from the truck. "What's in the trunk, please open it? Said the cop. So the blond reluctantly opens the truck and there are 3 penguins sitting there. The cop says, "Why do you have 3 penguins in your trunk? I will give you a warning for your tail light only if you take them to the zoo immediately!" "Ok, ok right away," replied the blond.
The next day the cop sees the same car driving with the same tail light broken. So the cop pulls over the blond again. He approaches the car and hears rumbling from the truck again. "Miss, open your trunk!" The blond confusingly opens the trunk and there are 3 penguins with sun glasses on. "Ma'am, I told you specifically to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday. Why do you still have them?"
The blond said, "What do you want, I took them zoo and now I'm taking them to the beach."

3 blondes walk into a police station...

...looking for a job as a detective. They meet with the police chief who says "I'm going to show you a side profile mug shot of a man and you need to tell me something interesting about him."
He shows the picture to the first blonde and she says "He's only got one eye". The police chief responds, "No, this is a profile mug shot, so you will only see one eye."
He shows the picture to the second blonde and she says "He's only got one ear". The police chief again responds, "No, this is a profile mug shot, so you will only see one ear."
He shows the picture to the last blonde and she says "He wears contact lenses." Perplexed, the police chief looks through the file and sure enough, the man wore contact lenses. He says "That's oddly correct. How did you know that?"
The blonde responds, "Well with one eye and one ear, he can't be wearing glasses."

Hopefully not a repost, but one of my all time favorites

So a man on a long trip decides to stop at a bar. He walks in, sits down at the bar and looks at the menu.
Soda: $1
Beer: $2
Hot Dog: $2.50
Hamburger: $3
Cheeseburger: $4
Then the man notices something at the very bottom of the menu..
Hand Jobs: $5
The man is a little confused, but then the bartender comes out, a stacked, beautiful blonde. She goes to him and asks "you like anything on the menu?" the man responds "are you the one that gives the hand jobs?" she smiles, "why yes I am" so the man says "ok, well wash your hands because I want a cheeseburger"

Blonde schoolgirl

Jenny, a blonde girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" Jenny asked.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good, Jenny," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day Jenny came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No Honey, it's because you're 24

the golf course frog

A golfer playing a round by himself hits his ball near a pond. As he approaches the ball he notices a small frog right next to the spot where his ball landed. Not wanting to hit the frog, he bends down and moves the frog onto a rock nearby. As he sets up his 8 iron shot, he hears the frog croak 'ribbit 9 iron'. Strange, he thought but what the heck. He pulls out his 9 iron and hits a perfect shot onto the green, 2 feet from the pin. With a smile he turns to the frog and said 'you must be my lucky charm'. The frog hops onto his cart and proceeds to tell him the exact perfect club for each shot that day and the man ends up shooting the round of his life.
Following the round of golf, beer in hand, the man smiled at the frog and said 'you must be my lucky charm'. With something near a smile (or as close as an amphibian can get), the frog said 'ribbit Vegas'.
On a whim, the man buys a plane ticket and flies with the small frog, in his carry on to las Vegas. Sitting on the mans shoulder, the frog proceeded to tell him which roulette numbers to play to the point where the man was up tens of thousands of dollars. The winning streak continued all night and caught the attention of the pit boss, who comped the man a room in their finest suite.
Sitting in the suites hit tub and enjoying a $500 bottle of fine cognac, the man turned to the frog and said 'I don't know how to thank you. You gave me the greatest golf round I've ever played and now more money than I can earn in 3 years. Is there anything I can do for you?' The frog looked the man in the eyes and said 'Ribbit, kiss me'. After a wince, the man thinks what the heck and picks the frog up and gives it a kiss. Like magic, the frog suddenly turned into a beautiful, blond, n**......14 year old girl.
...and I swear, your honor, that's exactly how she ended up in my room!

3 women go to the desert a brunette, redhead, and a blonde and each only bring one thing...

The brunette was asked what she brought. She said she brought food in case they got hungry.
The redhead was asked what she brought. She said water in case they got thirsty.
The brunette was asked what she brought. She said a car door so if they got hot she could roll the window down.

Three woman are all sentenced to death by firing squad. A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde...

The firing squad was called to shoot all the girls.
The brunette went first. The executor said, "We will shoot you on 3. 1...2..." Before the man said three, the brunette yelled, "TORNADO!"
Everyone looked away, and she ran to safety.
The firing squad then went to the redhead. The executor said, "We will shoot you on 3. 1...2..." "FLOOD!" the redhead screamed.
Everyone looked away, and she ran to safety.
The blonde, noticing what the other girls did, knew what she had to do. The executor said, "We will shoot you on 3. 1...2..."
"FIRE!!!" the blonde screamed...

Two Blonde Genies

A guy finds a lamp and rubs it. Out pop two blonde genies. They thank him and offer him 3 wishes. He thinks for a minute, and *p**...*...
He's in a vast room filled with $100 bills to his waist. He looks across the room and sees a door. He makes his way through the money to the door and opens it...
Now he is in another room filled with beautiful, n**... women. He looks across the room and sees another door. He fondles his way across the room to that door and opens it...
Where he finds the two blonde genies who drag him to a tree and hang him by the neck until he is dead.
As they are walking away the one turns to the other and says, "I understand why he wanted wealth beyond his wildest dreams. I understand why he wanted to be surrounded by beautiful, n**... women. By, why in the world did he want to be hung like a black man?"

Women on death row

Three women, a red head, a brunette, and a blonde are on death row for unspeakable crimes. Instead of the electric chair, they are to be shot by a squad of soldiers. The red haired girl is first, but she has an idea. The commander starts the count down: 3...2..1... The girl yells: "Earthquake!" Everyone is startled and confused and she escapes. Up next is the brunette. She catches on the idea as well. The countdown starts again: 3..2...1... She yells: "tornado!!" Like the girl before her, she also escapes during the confusion. Finally it's the blonde's turn. She too has figured out the trick. Again the countdown starts: 3..2...1..
She yells: "Fire!!"

There were 2 blondes...

So I was sat on my porch one day and I saw 2 blondes working hard at the end of the street. One was digging a hole and the other would fill it in immediately after the first was done. This went on for about 2 hours until I walked over and said "Hey, you two are working pretty hard there, but I don't understand what you are trying to achieve?"
To which one of the blondes replied "Well there's usually 3 of us, but the one who plants the trees is off sick today".

A biker walks into a bar

and tells the bartender that he has a blonde joke. The bartender says, "I'd be careful saying a blonde joke here. On your left is a blonde lady that does mixed martial arts, and on your right is a blonde female cop. Not to mention, there are 3 blonde lady bartenders including myself. Are you sure you still want to tell it?" The biker then replies, "Well, not anymore if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

5 blonds walk into a bar...

The group is cheering, smiling, and chanting "3 to 5 years! 3 to 5 years!" After the blondes settle down and order their drinks, the bartender finally asked "What are you all celebrating? What does 3 to 5 years mean?" One blonde got an excited look in their eyes and proudly exclaimed "Well, we bought a puzzle, and on the side it said 3 to 5 years, but it only took us 2 months!"

The Kindergartener

A girl came skipping home from school one day. Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10! Very good, said her mother. Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy? Yes, it's because you're blonde, her mother replied. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G! Very good, said her mother. Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy? Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde. The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these! And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. Very good, said her embarrassed mother. Is it because I'm blonde, mommy? No, it's because you're 25.

An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy.... Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times............'

A blonde gets a job painting pavement markings on the highway...

Her first day out she paints 9 miles. Impressed by this, her boss calls her to his office to congratulate her on doing such a nice job.
Her second day out she paints 7 miles, the third day she paints 5 miles, the fourth day she paints 3 miles, and the fifth day she only paints one mile.
Confused by this, her boss calls her into his office again and asks "What happened? You were doing so well your first day, and now you're hardly getting anything done!"
She says "I'm trying sir, but the paint can keeps getting further and further away!"

An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler."
"Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy.... Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters quietly "No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times..."

An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake

An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls silent.
In a deep, husky voice, the woman to his left says,
"Before you tell that joke, cowboy, I think it's only fair, given that you can't see, that you should know five things...
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a billy club.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman next to me is a blonde professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is a blonde professional wrestler.
Now think about it, cowboy... You still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The cowboy puts on a disappointed face, shakes his head and mutters,
"Nah... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Downhill Skiing

3 rock climbers (Bob, Tim, Jack) were attempting to climb Everest. In a freak accident, Bob and Tim lost all of their supplies. Unable to progress any further, they decide to make camp and share jack's supplies. The three of them slept side to side, with bob and Tim on either side of jack. In the morning, as they made their way down the mountain, bob was telling the other two about his dream last night. Bob said, "man I dreamt this buxom blonde gave me a vigorous h**... last night." Tim chuckled and said " I dreamt I was getting a h**... from a beautiful woman as well." Jack merely shrugged and said " I dreamed I was downhill skiing."

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the cops...

They run down an alley and find 3 boxes and decided to hide in each.
The cops arrive to the first box, they kick the first and the brunette shouts
'' Woof Woof!! '' The cops decided it must be dogs and move onto the next box.
'' Meow Meow! '' The redhead exclaims, the cops shrug thinking it is cats and move on to the next box.
'' POTATOES '' yells the blonde.

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting for awhile, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is blonde.
3. I'm a 6ft tall, 175lb blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters. "No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

logician joke (hard to get)

3 logicians walk into a bar. The blonde bartender smiles and says with a mock sigh,
'Hmmm.. Logicians again. I think you're all cute, but you're not ALL going to try to pick me up, are you?'
The first logician says: 'I don't know - maybe?' and looks at the other two.
The second logician says, 'I don't know - maybe?' and looks at the third one.
The third logician says, 'Well, looks like we are!' and orders four beers."

A blonde goes to heaven.

A blonde dies and goes to heaven. There she is met by an Angel and behind the Angel are 100 steps. She is told that each step there will be another Angel who will tell her a funny joke and if she makes it to the end of the 100 steps without laughing she gets into heaven, but if she laughs she starts the 100 steps again.
So the blonde goes on the first step, the Angel tells the joke, she doesn't laugh. Same with the second step, she doesn't laugh. She makes it past all the steps without laughing.
Once in heaven, she starts laughing, God asks her "Why are you laughing" and she says "I just got the first joke". :3

3 ladies at work (yes it's yet another Blonde joke)

Three ladies all work in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that, when the boss left, they'd all leave a few minutes after her. After all, she never called or came back, so how was she to know?
The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her spa before meeting a dinner date.
The blonde was happy happy happy to be home, but when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS!!! Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.
The next day, at coffee break, the brunette and redhead mentioned leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was with them.
"NO WAY," she exclaimed, "I almost got caught yesterday!"

The Magic Mirror

This is a rumour that a magic mirror resides in New York City. Anyone who can tell the truth in front of it is granted 3 wishes of their choosing. Anyone who tells a lie is exploded.
3 girls, a blonde, a redhead and a brunette find the mirror and try to claim their wishes.
"I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world!" says the brunette.
She explodes on the spot.
"I think I'm the smartest girl in the world!" says the redhead.
She explodes on the spot.
"I think-" says the blonde.
She explodes on the spot.

A blonde tells her friend

"I completed a jigsaw puzzle in record time!"
"No way! How long did it take you?" Replied her friend
"6 months"
"That cannot be a record time!'
" Well the box said from 1 to 3 years"
Sorry for bad English, original was in Spanish

3 ladies are celebrating in a bar..

3 blondes are celebrating in a bar. The bartender asks the ladies ''what are you celebrating about?'' The blondes reply ''we finished a puzzle in only 6 months even though on the box it said 4-6 years.''

An old, blind cowboy wanders into a bar....

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter,
"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a, very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler
"Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

3 blonde women are on one side of a river...

...wondering how they will get across. The first one decides to pray saying "God please make me smart enough to get across this river." so God turns her into a brunette and she swims across the river. The second also prays saying "Dear God, please make me twice as smart as the last girl so I can get across this river." So God turns her into a red head and she builds a boat and rows across the river. The third also prays "Dear God, please make me twice as smart as both of those women combined." So God turns her into a man and she walks across the bridge.

3 blonde girls is at the side of a river

And they're trying to get to the village on the other side
1 blond girl ask god to make her smart,so god turn her into a brunette and she swims across the river
the other girl ask god to make her smarter than the girl that just swam,so god make her into a redhead and she built a raft and paddle across
The last girl ask god to make her smarter than the other two girls,so god make her a man and he uses the bridge

A blonde says to another:

Guess what? I solved a puzzle this morning. The other girl says: so what? What's the big deal?
"Well, I solved it in half an hour when the instructions manual clearly stated '3-5 years".

A man in need of a brain

A man was dying in the hospital and he needed a new brain or he wouldn't survive for long, the doctor told him there were 3 available brains but each with a price.
The first one was an professor's brain that costs 3000 dollar
The second brain was a teachers brain that costs 2500 dollar
The third brain was the brain of a blonde woman that costs a good 9000 dollar
The man asks why the blondes brain is so expensive
The doctor replies: because it's never used

3 women are sitting at a bar..

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde.
The brunette says, "I'm so tight, my husband can only fit 3 fingers in me."
The redhead says, "I'm so tight, *my* husband can only fit 1 finger in me!"
The blonde, meanwhile, slides down her stool.

A blonde and a redhead are sitting in a bar

and on TV is news footage of a guy threatening to jump off of a building. The redhead says "Hundred bucks says he jumps." The blonde says "You're on!" and they precede to watch. After about 2 or 3 minutes of crying, the man jumps off of the building. The blonde reaches into her purse and grabs the money but the redhead shakes her head and says "I can't take your money. This is from earlier today, I've already seen this." "So did I." Said the blonde "I just didn't think he'd do it twice!"

Blondes

A group of blondes were willing to prove that not all blondes were dumb. They established a judges panel of people to ask the questions. On the day of the judging the people started off by asking, "What is 59 + 2?" The first blonde contestant responded by saying, "57?" The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" Then they asked, "What is 15 - 5?" The blonde responded, "20, right?" Once again the rest of the contestants screamed, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" The judges decided to go easier on her and asked, "What is 1 + 2?" "Is it 3?" said the blonde. The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"

A blonde goes golfing with her father

She is feeling good about her game recently, so she challenges her father: "If you beat me, I'll buy you dinner and drinks. If I beat you, you give me $20 to go shopping. The father agrees.
After the round, the father adds up the scores. "Ha! I beat you by 3 strokes. Let me think about what restaurant I want," he says triumphantly. The blonde grabs the scorecard to try adding it herself. Not wanting to make a mistake, she pulls out her phone and calculates it carefully.
After 10 minutes, the father is starting to get impatient. Finally the blonde looks up. "Well, did you finish adding it up?"
"Yup," she replied. "Nice try, Daddy, but I got the higher score!"

3 Blondes are Stranded

And they need to swim across the ocean to reach safety. The first blonde swims 1/4 of the way to safety but drowns. The second blonde swims 1/3 of the way to safety, but drowns. The third blonde swims 1/2 of the way to safety, gets tired and swims back to the original island.

A blonde woman was taking helicopter lessons.

A blonde woman was taking helicopter lessons. The instructor said:
"I'll radio you every 1,000 feet to see how you're doing."
At 1,000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great. At 2,000 feet, he said she was still doing well.
Right before she got to 3,000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground. The instructor ran to where she crashed and pulled her out of the helicopter. He asked her,
"What went wrong?"
The blonde said: "At 2,500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."

A group of blondes walk into a bar

A group of blondes walk into a bar celebrating and chanting "28 days, 28 days, it only took us 28 days!!"
Everyone was wondering what took them 28 days and why they were celebrating. Finally, when the blondes were about to leave, a bartender goes up and asks "What took you 28 days, why are you celebrating??"
All the blondes say "We just finished a puzzle in 28 days and on the box it said 3-6 years!!!"

A serial killer is chasing 3 young women through a farm

The three young women are a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The three women run into a barn and find three barrels to hide in. The brunette jumps into a barrel labeled "chicks". The redhead into a barrel labeled "kittens", and the blonde into one labeled "potatoes".
The serial killer follows them into the barn but can't find them. He sees the three barrels and bangs on the first. The killer hears the "cheep cheep" of baby chicks. He bangs on the second and hears the meows of kittens. Finally he bangs on the final barrel and hears "potato potato potato".

3 blondes are stuck...

3 blondes are stuck on a river bank and can't cross it. They find a bottle in the sand, and as they open it, a genie pops out.
"I will promise you 3 wishes. Pick carefully." Says the genie.
"I want a boat." Says the first one. The genie grants her wish, but the river current is too powerful and she drifts away to her death.
"I want a motorboat." Announces the second blonde. However, it had no fuel. Off she goes to die.
"I want black hair." Says the third one, and then she crosses the bridge.

3 cousins are together talking about their names. The first, a raven haired beauty, says "when my mother was pregnant a rose fell from a bush and landed on her stomach so she named me Rose".

The second, a beautiful blonde, says, "when my mother was pregnant a violet landed on her stomach, so she named me Violet".
She turns to the 3rd cousin, a small crippled girl in a wheelchair, "how did u get your name, Piano??".

3 blondes trying to cross a river

3 blondes are trying to cross a river.
The first blonde prays to god and asks to be more intelligent so she can cross the river. God agrees and makes her a brunette so she swims across the river.
The second blonde prays to god and asks to be even smarter than the last so she can cross the river faster. God agrees and makes her a redhead so she builds a row boat and crosses the river.
The last blonde prays to god to be even smarter than the last so she can cross the river even faster.
God agrees and turns her into a man and she uses the bridge.

3 witch fugitives were cornered by police

The redhead yelled "AIR" and a gust of wind carried her to safety.
The brunette yelled "EARTH" and a tunnel to safety appeared underneath her.
The blonde yelled "FIRE" so the police did.

Two Blondes were working down the road from a mans house.

One blonde (who was n**...) would take a shovel and dig a hole about 3-4 feet deep.
The second blonde (who didn't like cats) would then take the shovel and then put the dirt back in the hole.
They did this for about 4 hours on 6 different spots.
The man (who was left handed) was quite curious and went to the blondes and asked them what they were doing.
"There's usually another blonde who plants the tree but shes sick today"

As a wise blonde once said, "There are 3 types of people on this planet,"

"dreamers and go-getters."

Blonde girl got all exited after she finally completed a jigsaw puzzle after 3 years, I said why are you so excited?

She said it says 5 to 8 years on the box...

3 men go to a hotel late at night

Only one room is left and there is only one large bed to sleep on, the men decide to go and share it.
The morning after...
Man on the left: Guys, I had an awesome dream last night. I hooked up with this smoking hot blonde and got a h**...!
Man on the right: whoa, what a coincidence... I had a similar dream but with a red head!
Man in the middle: That doesn't even touch the dream that I had! I was a professional skier!

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead stuck on an island.

There were three people stranded on an island that was about 10 miles away from civilization after a couple of days they had eaten up and drank all of there supply's so they decided that they should try and swim to civilization first the brunette tries she gets 7 miles out then she drowns and dies the redhead only gets to about 3 miles she then drowns and dies then the blonde gets to about 5 miles says I'm tired and swims back the island

A blonde, redhead and a brunette

A blonde, redhead and a brunette are lost and have found a magic lamp, and rubbed it. A genie appears and grants them 3 wishes in total.
The redhead wished to be back home.
p**..., she was back home.
The brunette wished to be back with her family.
p**..., she was back with her family.
The blonde said: Wow! I wish my friends were here.

A man walks in to a local deli and sees this sign.

€4 Chicken Sub
€3 Ham Sub
€2 h**...
A beautiful blond walks up to serve him.
Man- Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?
Beautiful Blonde- Yes I am
Man- Great, would ya mind washing your hands there and get me two ham subs.

Drunk Biker

A drunk biker wanders into a lesbian bar,
Leaning against the bar orders a beer and says to the bartender "do you wanna hear a good blonde joke "
Now the bartender says " Hey buddy think about this , Your in a our bar , and that woman over there the blonde is a UFC heavy weight champ. That blonde over there is a 4 Dan black belt. That blonde over there is a Olympic boxing champ. Are you sure you want to tell a blonde joke.?"
The biker takes along sip of beer thinks for a sec and replies : Nahhhh not if I gotta explain it 3 times. "

How many times does a blonde laugh abaut the same joke?

3 times
First when you tell the joke to laugh with everybody.
A second time when you explain the joke and a third time when she understands the joke.

Blind guy walks into a bar

A blind man walks into a bar, and after getting a little tipsy he says to the bartender.
Hey, do you want to hear a blond joke
The bartender then replies well before you start your joke there is a few things you need to know ... I'm blond 6ft 3 and im also an amateur boxer, my other friend at the bar is 6ft 1 and is the national kickboxing champion who is also blond, and finally the person who I'm about to serve next is blond 6ft 4 and looks like they have lifted weights since the day they were born .... now ... do you really want to tell that blond joke !?
The blind guy sighs ... then says naaa, not if Im going to have to explain it three time!

A group of blonde girls overhear a guy saying that all blondes are dumb

So one of the girls says: "no we're not, we'll prove it!"
The guy: "Ok what's 3 + 2?"
One of the blondes: "7"
After a short silence the rest of the blondes start asking for a second chance.
The guy: "ok you get a second chance, what's 2+4?"
One of the blondes: "6"
After a short silence the rest of the blondes start asking for a second chance.

First time posting here, don't know if blonde jokes are appreciated

A blind cowboy walks into a bar, without knowing it's an only women's bar and says "anyone here wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bartender replies "since you're blind I'll fill you in on something. I'm a blonde woman and I've got a gun next to me, the woman to your right is the national judo champ and the lady to your left is an olympic weightlifter, do you still want to say your joke?"
And the cowboy gets up and says "heeesh, of course I won't say it if I'd have to repeat it 3 times."