2nd Place Jokes
16 2nd place jokes and hilarious 2nd place puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 2nd place that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest 2nd Place Short Jokes
Short 2nd place jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 2nd place humour may include short 3rd place jokes also.
- What costs hundreds of millions of dollars but is worthless? 2nd place in a presidential election.
- They say the fastest disappearing thing in the universe is the speed of light Still 2nd place to my dad
- They say lightning never strikes the same place twice, and I believed that all my life. So when I got struck by lightning for the 2nd time on the hill, I was shocked
- My 3 sons placed 1st, 2nd and 3rd in a talent contest judged by Lee Kun-hee Jake juggled, Daniel danced and Sam sung
- Why does Michael Jackson love placing 2nd in races Because he loves coming in a little behind
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2nd Place One Liners
Which 2nd place one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 2nd place? I can suggest the ones about runner up and first place.
- What dog breed always arrives in 2nd place? Silver retrievers.
- I'm ranked 2nd in the world at coin flipping... It was a real toss up for 1st place 😉
- Did you hear about the contest at the o**...? Everyone came in 2nd place.
2nd Place Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about 2nd place you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean last place jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 2nd place pranks.
Worms
Four earthworms are placed in four separate test tubes:
1st in beer
2nd in wine
3rd in whiskey
4th in mineral water
The next day, the teacher shows the results:
The 1st worm in beer, dead.
The 2nd in wine, dead.
The 3rd in whiskey, dead.
The 4th in mineral water, alive and healthy.
The teacher asks the class:
- What do we learn from this experience?
And a child responds:
- Whoever drinks beer, wine and whiskey, does not have worms.
the three legged pig joke reminded me of a joke my dad once told me
a scientist was doing an experiment on a frog in his lab, he placed the frog down on the floor and said "Frog jump!". the frog jumped 4 feet and so he noted in his notebook
"frog with 4 legs, jumps 4 feet"
he then cut off one of the frogs legs and again said "Frog jump!". the frog jumped only 3 feet this time and so he noted in his notebook
"frog with 3 legs, jumps 3 feet"
he cut off a 2nd leg and said "Frog jump!". this time the frog only jumped 2 feet and so he noted
"frog with 2 legs, jumps 2 feet"
he then cut off a 3rd leg and again said "Frog jump!". the frog only jumped a foot and so he noted
"frog with 1 leg, jumps 1 foot"
the scientist then cut off the frogs last remaining leg and said "Frog jump!, Frog jump!, FROG JUMP!!!!!" but the frog did not move. so he noted
"frog with 0 legs, deaf"
How to catch a bear...
1st - Dig a huge hole and fill it with wood
2nd - Light the wood on fire and burn it until there is nothing but ashes
3rd - Place peas all around the outside of the hole
Now, when the bear bends over to take a pea, you kick him right in the ash hole.
3 Ants
3 Ants are competing in a race. Ant #1 wins and exclaims, "I'm in 1st place". Shortly after ant #2 ends the race and says, "I finished in 2nd place". Eventually ant #3 finishes the race and states "I won the race".
How is this possible?
Ant #3 is a liar.
Another vampire joke.
3 vampires walk into a blood bar.
The 1st vampire looks at the bartender and says "I'll have your finest cup of blood, type O negative please." The bartender happily obliges.
The 2nd vampire then places his order. "One mug of AB positive, with extra plasma please!" The bartender once again happily obliges.
The 3rd vampire asks for a cup of boiling water. The bartender, perplexed, asks what he'll be needing a cup of hot water for. The 3rd vampire then pulls out a used t**... and says "I'm making tea."