2500 Jokes

My body is a temple.

What I mean by that is, it looks and feels like something the Romans destroyed 2,500 years ago.

So my cousin screwed up bigtime

My cousin has two tickets for the 2017 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,500 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.

If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place... It's at St. Joseph Church, in Warwick, RI at 3 p.m. Her name is Amanda. She's 5'2, about 130 lbs. She's a good cook, too. She'll be the one in the white dress.

Helicopter lessons.

A blonde was taking helicopter lessons. The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing."


At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great. At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well.

Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground. The instructor ran to where she crash landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. "What went wrong?"

The blonde said, "At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."

A blonde woman was taking helicopter lessons.

A blonde woman was taking helicopter lessons. The instructor said:

"I'll radio you every 1,000 feet to see how you're doing."

At 1,000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great. At 2,000 feet, he said she was still doing well.

Right before she got to 3,000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground. The instructor ran to where she crashed and pulled her out of the helicopter. He asked her,

"What went wrong?"

The blonde said: "At 2,500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."

In the year 2500 Russia and the U.S. are the last countries on the earth....

In the year 2500 Russia and the U.S. are the last countries on the earth. They both want control of the earth, so they come up with this plan. They will have a dog fight in five years; what ever country wins this dog fight gets control of the earth. So the Russians ,having control of Europe, take the biggest, meanest Siberian wolfs and German shepards and breed them over and over until they get the perfect batch of pups. Then they train them make them mean and then breed them using new enhancement technologies. This goes on and on until the event comes then they pick they're biggest, meanest, and strongest pup at prime age. They go to the event and U.S. shows up with this 30ft long Doxen Terrier. The match begins and this Doxen just rips the Russians dog into pieces. The Russians are dumbfounded they can't figure out how this happened. So they go ask the head U.S. dog official "How did you beat us? We spent 5 years training the biggest meanest dogs we could find and our most advanced using enhancement technologies. Then we come here and your dog rips ours apart in no more than 30 seconds. The U.S. official laughs and says "Thats funny we spent 2 and a half years using our best plastic surgeons trying to get a crocodile to look like a dog!"

A man in need of a brain

A man was dying in the hospital and he needed a new brain or he wouldn't survive for long, the doctor told him there were 3 available brains but each with a price.

The first one was an professor's brain that costs 3000 dollar

The second brain was a teachers brain that costs 2500 dollar

The third brain was the brain of a blonde woman that costs a good 9000 dollar

The man asks why the blondes brain is so expensive

The doctor replies: because it's never used

A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2018 Super bowl.

Both box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.  If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...It's at St Christopher's Church, in Baldwin at 3pm. Her name is Ashley, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too.....She'll be the one in the white dress.

Day 1: Staying home, avoiding social gatherings and eating food in my room

Day 50: Continuing with this process

Day 100: Still feeling okay

Day 2500: Now a global virus has arrived and others are doing what i do.

Please don't share 9/11 jokes, I lost my dad on 9/11

He took over 2500 infidels with him

What do you get when you let 25,000 Syrian refugees into Canada during the winter?

Isisicles

My cousin has 2 tickets for the super bowl and paid $2500 for each ticket.

he didnt realize last year it was going to be the day of his wedding.

If interested he is looking for someone to take his place.

Her name is Lisa Phillips 35, about 140lbs, a good cook, She'll be in white

The CEO of a successful hummus production company talking to his financial advisor...

Our profitability is at an all-time high, we have over 2,500 employees and everyone seems happy. I feel like I've done all I can in the hummus business world and I want to branch out. This might sound strange, but I've always wanted to create and manage a golden shower, fetish-type website. What are your thoughts on that?

The advisor, with a puzzled look on his face, pauses for a few seconds and responds: I think you need to be more versatile with your investments. You'd be taking on a huge risk considering the profitability of both companies would be 100% reliant on chickpea.

A boy asks his father, the Bit-coin investor,

...for some Bitcoin currency again, this time in the amount of $25.00.

Dad: $23.67? What do you need $20.32 for?

Its the year 2500 and students are in history.

A student asks the teacher why is there a gap in the textbook between 1990 and 1999 and the teacher answers because only 90's kids remember.

I went to the confidence store because I didnt have any confidence. So they gave me some confidence for $2500.

But I think they tricked me.

By 2500, they will have too many people in the saw movies that one person will be in it for not showering

We have collected gags that can be used as 2500 pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about 2500, here are one liners and funny 2500 pick up lines.

Joko Jokes