JokoJokes

25 Cent Jokes

40 25 cent jokes and hilarious 25 cent puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 25 cent that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest 25 Cent Short Jokes

Short 25 cent jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 25 cent humour may include short 5 cent jokes also.

  1. Stopped to put air in my tires today. The pump cost $1.50! I remember when those things used to only cost 25 cents. Guess the price has adjusted for inflation.
  2. I just won 10 million dollars from a lottery ticket. I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Those were the proudest 25 cents I ever donated.
  3. As the United States reopens, the federal government has issued a rapid coronavirus test that's just 25 cents. Heads is positive. Tails is negative.
  4. I won 300 million dollars in the lottery and decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. They sent me a letter saying "thank you for your 25 cent donation".
  5. If I had 25 cents I could've been your father But there was a guy in front of me who had pocket change.
  6. Buy a prepaid gift card from Starbucks or another store for $25. Then use it for yourself till it only has 25 cents left on it. Present it as a gift to your fool.
  7. My buddy is a s**... worker and today he came home overjoyed that he made $104.25 that day I asked, "Wait, who gave you the 25 cents?"
    He says, "All of them!"
  8. What happens if you have s**... with a Mcdonalds employee and you make her squirt? She charges you 25 cents for extra sauce.

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25 Cent One Liners

Which 25 cent one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 25 cent? I can suggest the ones about 30 cent and 50 cent.

  1. If I had 25 cents for every time I failed my math test I'd have $5.13
  2. Why couldn't Robert Plant play the 25 cent slot machine? No quarter
  3. Yo mama is like a laundromat... 25 cents per load.
  4. 50 Cent's new album is on sale For 25 cents
  5. If I had a dollar for the pixels in every UFO shot video I would have 25 cents.
  6. what do you call 4€ and 25 cents? foreign change

25 Cent Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about 25 cent you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean 2 cent jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 25 cent pranks.

Last year a guy took his blonde girl friend to the Superbowl

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the
tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't
understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you
mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was...

'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"

A kid is selling lemonade…

The boy's sign reads 1 cup for 25¢, 3 cups for $1
A construction worker stops by and asks to buy one cup of lemonade.
"25 cents", says the kid.
The construction worker then buys another one, and another one, paying 25 cents each.
As the construction worker walks away, he turns around with a smile, and says: "Hey kid, you realize I just bought three cups for 75¢… Maybe lemonade stands aren't your thing."
"I guess you're right" says the kid good-naturedly as he sets up the next 3 cups.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

A man walks into a bar ...

And proceeds to order a beer. The bartender says, "Sure, that'll be 25 cents please". The man almost spits out his beer in shock.
"Wow, 25 cents! I'll get some chicken wings too!"
The bartender replies, "That'll be 30 cents!"
"Where is the owner", asks the man, "I want to shake his hand!"
"Upstairs with my sister", replies the barkeep.
"Huh, why?", asks the confused costumer.
"He's doing to her, what I'm doing to his bar."

Football with a blonde girlfriend

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

A man walks into a bar

He quickly orders 5 bottles of beer. He immediately starts to drink the beer immediately, as fast as he can. In 2 minutes, he had already finished 3 bottles of beer. The bartender looks over and says, "Why are you in such a hurry?"
The man says, "You would be doing the same if you knew what I have."
The bartender replies, "What do you have?"
The man replies: "25 cents"

inflation

There's the story of an old lady selling pretzels for 25 cents on a corner in New York. Every day a young man passes her at lunchtime and drops a quarter in the cup but doesn't take a pretzel. She never says a word. He does this for three years, until one day he drops the quarter in her cup and she finally speaks. They're 35 cents now.

In money trouble, the couple finally agrees she will p**... for a while. She is out all night the first night and has only $20.25 in the morning.

When hubby asks who only gave her 25 cents, she replied - All of them!

Why don't the blondes like football?

A blonde went to the Super Bowl and someone asked her afterwards how she liked it. She said she enjoyed many aspects of the experience, but she didn't understand why all the players were fighting so hard over 25 cents. She was asked what she meant. She said, "Well, before the game, they flipped a quarter and one team started out with it. For the rest of the game, they kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back.' Hellooooo?! It's only 25 cents, people."

A man walks into a bar

He walks up to the bartender and asks for 8 shots of Lagavulin.
Bartender lines up the glasses, and as soon as one is filled the man empties it.
The bartender says "Hey this is good scotch, you might want to take a second to enjoy it, yeah?"
"Eh. You'd be drinking like this too if you had what I have."
"I'm sorry to hear that. What's it that you've got?"
"25 cents"

A man is no longer able to work...

...so his wife decides to walk the streets to pay the bills. She comes home after the first night and says, "Harold, I'm home! Come on, I'm buying breakfast!"
Harold: "Great! How much did you make?"
Wife: "$38.25"
Harold: "Really? Who gave you 25 cents?"
Wife: "Everybody"

A man walks into a bar and orders 8 shots of v**....

"Rough day?", says the bartender as he starts pouring the shots.
The man downs each shot as soon as it's full, then says "You wouldn't believe it. You'd be drinking like this too if you had what I have."
"What's that?"
"25 cents."

Man walks into a bar and takes a seat.....

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat. He orders 4 whiskey shooters and downs them one after the other. The bartender asks him "What's your troubles mate?"
"Well if you had what I have you'd be doing the same." says the patron
"Oh yah, what's that?" goes the bartender
"About 25 cents!!"

A boy in kindergarten has to use the restroom, but the men's room is locked...

So his mother tells her son that it's alright to use the women's room this once, because they are single rooms that lock from the inside. The boy comes out a minute later and asks his mother for a quarter. The mother asks what he needs a quarter for, to which he replies:
"Apparently, mom, napkins cost 25 cents in women's restrooms."

It's 1/4 funny 😄

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a super bowl game. They had great seats right behind their teams bench.
After the game he asked her how she liked it.
Oh, I really liked it, she replied. I just don't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked,
What do you mean?
Well they flipped a quarter, one team got it, then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was...'get the quarterback!, get the quarterback!' I'm like Hellooooo, it's only 25 cents!

A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

IQ Test

I went to a restaurant once that had a game in the lobby you could play. The sign said "Test Your IQ: 25 cents!" While I waited for my table I decided to give it a try. I put my quarter in and on the screen it said press A or B. There were two b**... there so I decided to press A. The screen then said "You're an idiot, -25 cents, GAME OVER". I stood there for a second thinking about why this happened and I decided to try again and press B this time. The screen then said "You're still an idiot, -50 cents, GAME OVER".

A guy gets a job at a fruit stand

His first ever customer walks up to him and asks "how much is a pound of apples?" "I don't know." says the guy "let me call my manager." He calls the manager and the manager says "Your supposed to say '25 cents,sir'."
When the guy gets off the phone he sees that the first customer has already left, but another customer is there. The second customer asks
"how much for a pound of apples?" and the cashier replies "25 cents, sir." "Are they fresh?" he asks. "I don't know. Let me call my manager" the cashier says again. The manager tells him the correct response is "Yes! very fresh".
The second customer is also gone by the time the phone call is finished, but a third one shows up. The third customer asks "How much would it cost for a pound of apples?" "25 cents, sir" says the worker. " "Are they fresh?" asks the customer."Yes! very fresh." says the worker
"Should I buy them?" asks the customer. "I don't know. Let me ask my manager." says the worker. The manager is angry now and explains very slowly "Just say '25 cents sir' 'Yes very fresh' and 'if you don't somebody else will'."
The vendor finds this easy enough and if confident now. A burglar comes up to the stand with a gun and says "GIVE ME ALL THE MONEY!". The vendor calmly replies "25 cents, sir." "ARE YOU BEING FRESH WITH ME?" screams the burglar. "Yes very fresh" says the vendor. "DO YOU WANT ME TO SHOOT YOU RIGHT NOW?" yells the burglar. "If you don't then somebody else will"

It was very hot, and this guy runs to a nearby store to buy a hand fan.
There were two similar fans in make and model but one was 25 cents and the other was 50 cents.
The guy opted for the cheaper one thinking that they work the same way.
Before he left the store, the owner tried to impress on the buyer on how each works, but the buyer was not interested - a fan is a fan is a fan, and he knows how to work it.
The 25 cent fan broke.
He came back yelling and screaming that the fan was no good.
The owner explained that he should have got the operating instructions:
"With the 50 cent fan, you move your wrist left and right to get the air flowing. With the 25 cent fan which works differently, you hold the fan steady in your wrist and move your head left to right to get the air flowing."

One night, Murphy was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him.
Murphy and the thief began to wrestle.
They rolled about on the ground and Murphy put up a tremendous fight.
However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground.
The thief then went through Murphy’s pockets and searched him. All the thief could find on Murphy was 25 cents.
The thief was so surprised at this that he asked Murphy why he had bothered to fight so hard for 25 cents.
"Was that all you wanted?" Murphy replied, "I thought you were after the five hundred dollars I’ve got in me shoe!"