247 Jokes
56 247 jokes and hilarious 247 puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 247 that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud this July with 247 hilarious cartoon jokes! Read hilarious jokes about silly farmers and other hilarious characters, guaranteed to make you smile.
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Funniest 247 Short Jokes
Short 247 jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 247 humour may include short farmer jokes also.
- What's the difference between a cow and the Trump-Russia controversy? You can't milk a cow 24/7 for six months straight.
- I saw an ad for a prison. Apparently they have the safest gym in the country. There's an Olympic sports doctor there 24/7.
- Give a man a fish Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Fish 24:7 - I tell my friends I'm there for them 24/7. It sounds better than saying I'm there for them on the 24th of July.
- Human brain Human brain is amazing it functions 24/7 from when we were born & only stops when you take a test or talk to someone attractive
- I was standing outside the gym... And there was a billboard that said: "OPEN 24/7!"
"That's not very helpful," I told myself. "July is ages away."
### - In Egypt they require a priest to be at every airport 24/7 to bless the planes down in Africa
- I wanted to make sure my kids were safe when they are playing outside.... So I put an ISIS flag in my window.
Now my neighbors watch them 24/7. - A baker bakes 73,247 baguettes in a year and sells each for $2.73. What does he make? Bread.
- If you have promised your partner that you will love them 24/7. Today is 24/7.
(Americans, It's OK if you don't get it.)
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247 One Liners
Which 247 one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 247? I can suggest the ones about silly and hardcore.
- REMINDER: If you have promised your SO that you will love them 24/7 Today is 24/7
- I heard prisoners get drunk a lot ... They hang around bars 24/7.
- USA has 9/11, France has 11/13, and Israel has? 24/7
- When's the improper fraction helpline open? 24/7
- What do you call a doctor who is on call 24/7? An oncologist.
- Do you know why Indian bakeries are open 24/7? Because they bake naan stop.
- Why is today the longest day? Because it's 24/7
- I bought a new white noise machine today! It plays Weezer 24/7
- What do you call a cancer doctor who works 24/7? An on-call-ogist
- What type of doctor treats tumors and is available 24/7? An Oncallogist
- The improper fraction help line is now open 24/7
- Her: "Honey, I want to be with you 24/7" Him: "Ok, see you on the 24th of July"
- It should be night 24/7 in Liverpool Because they don't allow The Sun there
- Today is a good day to get work done Because you'll do it 24/7
- Having trouble understanding top heavy fractions? Our helpline is open 24/7...
Unearthly Funniest 247 Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about 247 you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean desperation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 247 pranks.
Home safety
I took my name off the Neighborhood Watch List.
I've got two Pakistani flags raised in my front garden, one at each corner and the black flag of ISIS in the center.
The local police, and multiple intelligence services are watching my house 24/7.
I've never felt safer in my entire Life!
A new experimental punishment for child molesters involves chaining them to electricity-producing machines and having them work 24/7
Researcers hope to be able to generate multiple pedowatts of power.
What do you call a buff guy who predicts the weather and can treat a UTI?
A meaty urologist.
BONUS (courtesy of my girlfriend)
What do call someone who's available 24/7 and treats cancer?
An always oncologist.
My mom was checking out some glossy brochures to travel to a place she's never been where she'd be waited on hand and foot 24/7 with all inclusive dining and entertainment
I agreed and put her in a nursing home
Pompeii must be the ultimate party town
Look at the locals, they're s**... 24/7
A blonde calls a 24/7 support call center
The blonde asks what hours they are open for. The technical support person says we are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The blonde stops for a moment a thinks. After a while she asks is that Eastern or Pacific time?
please take me to the jail...
I hear prisoners in jail get drunk a lot
They hang around bars 24/7.
So according to some people men think about s**... 24/7
Well, today's the day so start thinking
It was late at night and my car was running on empty, but then I turned a corner and saw a sign saying "Open 24/7."
I thought to my self, that's no use, July's ages away
The Moro Islamic Liberation Front wants attention and gives an interview to a particular news organization that is ranked #1.
The BBC always bring in satisfaction. 24/7.
Prisoners actually have a lot in common with Presidents...
They're both fed and housed by tax payers, surrounded by armed guards 24/7, neither can leave the gates without attracting attention, and both are often hated by the general public. It seems to me that the only difference between them is that we often catch the criminal that's responsible, but we keep putting the wrong guy in office.
What is the difference b/w a p**... and a bakery shop?
The bakery shop is not open 24/7
I read somewhere that men think about s**... 24/7
That's today!
Your mother is like the Atlantic Seaboard.
Huge, rough around the edges, and everyone has 24/7 access to her.
"Honey, I'm gonna learn how to swim, because swimming can make me lose weight."
"Don't be silly, dear....look at the whales who swim 24/7....
have they lost weight!?"
Where do Isis go to for lunch?
ALLAH'S SNACKBAR
Serving pork 24/7
So I'm dating this European girl. I told her I wanna be with her 24/7.
She said: "ok, see you the 24th of July"
