2020 Jokes

My best friend got mad at me because he caught me sniffing his sister's panties

It didn't help that she was still wearing them.

Or that his whole family was there.

That made the rest of his sister's funeral kind of awkward.

And who thought you could make the funeral for such a small child more awkward than it already was..

I can see six years into the future.

I must have 2020 vision.

I can see 6 years into the future.

Thanks to my 2020 vision.

5 years from now it'll be 2020... I can see it now...

That's a perfect vision joke.

Just got Lasik. 20/20 would do again.

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

The interviewer asked, "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

The job candidate responded, " I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

Use it while you can, people!

I hate it when people ask me where I'll be in 5 years.

I don't have 2020 vision.

Justin Trudeau announces free lazer eye surgery for all Canadians in 4 years...

When asked why he put forward this proposal, he responded by saying "because it's 2020".

I wish people would stop asking me where I think I'm going to be in 4 years...

I don't have 2020 vision.

At the job interview...

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in three years?

Me: Sorry, I don't have 2020 vision

I hope Joe Biden will run for president in 2020

Because when he announces it he's able to say that he's been Biden his time.....

I'm sorry

2020 Olympic high jump results

Gold - Mexico

Silver - Mexico

Bronze - Mexico

I hate when people ask me what I'm going to be doing in 3 years

Like come on guys, I don't have 2020 vision!

It was announced yesterday that the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo will make all of its medals from recycled cellphones.

Well, they're going to make the Olympic torch out of a Samsung Galaxy.

In 2020 we're going to have an entire year of bad puns about vision...

I can't wait to see them all.

I can see 3 years into the future

I guess you can say I have 2020 vision.

*year 2020* Nurse: Sir, you've been in a coma since 2017

Patient: I thought I was on a United flight.

Nurse: You were but you were volunteered to get off.

The year 2020 is going to be filled with so many puns about perfect vision

I can just see it now.

I hate when people ask me what I'm doing in the next three years.

Do I look like I have 2020 vision.

I hate when people ask how I see myself in 3 years

I don't have 2020 vision

Coronavirus ruining your plans for 2020? Save them for 2022!

Cause 2022 is 2020 too.

You think 2020 is bad...

Just wait fror the sequel, 2022

My vision is like 2020

It's terrible

I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.

I just didn't realize it would Zoom.

Knock, knock

*shouting thru door*
Just leave it outside, Thank you!

(2020 update)

What does LGBTQ stand for in 2020

Lets get back to quarantine, obviously

Stay safe everyone

If we make it past 2020, I'll be dreading 2022.

After all, 2022 is 2020, too!

2013: Didn't jog - 2014: Didn't jog - 2015: Didn't jog - 2016: Didn't jog - 2017: Didn't jog - 2018: Didn't jog - 2019: Didn't jog - 2020: Still haven't jogged

This is a running joke.

Jogging

2014 Didn't jog

2015 Didn't jog

2016 Didn't jog

2017 Didn't jog

2018 Didn't jog

2019 Didn't jog

2020 Still not jogging

This is a running joke.

I had high expectations for doing great things in 2020. Instead I'm stuck at home jacking off and playing Nintendo.

The old 'bate and Switch.

2020 has a new calendar out

January

February

Lockdown

December

Has COVID-19 got you wearing glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

EDIT (July 14, 2020 7:40PM PST): Um, wow. I did not expect the 2.9K likes, especially since I didn't come up with it. Thanks for the support guys and y'all got me, I read it somewhere else and shared it.

You know what was the biggest waste of money in 2020?

I renewed my passport

13: I'm the number everybody hates . 666: No way, I am the number everybody hates .

2020: lol .

2019: Stay away from negative People

2020: Stay away from positive people

I like 2020

Every day there are more positive people

The year is 2018 and I don't jog. The year is 2019 and I don't jog. The year is 2020 and I still don't jog.

This is a running joke.

A man walks into a bar and orders a Corona and two hurricanes...

The bartender says that'll be $20.20

This sucks, 2022 is going to be terrible

Because 2022 is 2020, too

A priest, a nun and some random dude walks into a bar

They ask for a few coronas, hurricanes, and fireballs.

The bartender says "that'll be 2020"

2020 has been brutal this year

Now it's just Ruthless

2020 can't end.

Because we'd be admitting 2021.

2020 is nearly over.

So either it gets even harder and defeats us. Or we make it through to next year. Either way, 2021.

Parents in 2020 B.C. vs Parents in 2020 A.D.

"These kids and their damn tablets"

In the 80's we used to think in 2020 we'll have flying cars cities on other planets, blah blah blah....

But No! Here we are, teaching people how to wash hands !!!

It's disgraceful that in 2020 the train-driving profession is overwhelmingly male-dominated. Surely it's...

a woman's right to choo-choos.

I was in a library and a black guy came up to me.

"Where's the coloured printer?" He said

"Mate, it's 2020 you can use any printer you want" I replied

All this talk about hoping 2020 ends!

Even though its cursed, we can't let it defeat us. That would mean 2021.

An alien lands today...Nov. 4, 2020

Alien: Take me to your leader

Me: Your going to have to wait 10-12 business days for us to sort that out.

Congratulations to Donald J. Trump for winning

the silver medal in the 2020 U.S. Presidential race!

I'd like to congratulate Donald J Trump for winning

The silver medal in the 2020 presidential election.

Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?

Because they had a fight and 2021

two hardcore trump supporters die and ascend to heaven.

God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions.
One of them says, yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud? .

God says, "my son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232 .

After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers, This goes higher up than we thought .

A Woman goes to the Optician

for her annual eye test. The Optician puts a contraption her face and asks her what can she see.
"I see empty airports, I see empty football grounds. I see closed theatres, closed pubs and closed restaurants"

"That's perfect" says the Optician "You've got 2020 vision"

If 2020 is not bad enough already, I've just read about dentists planning a national strike next month

Brace yourselves.

According to the Chinese Zodiac, 2020 was the Year of the Rat

So we've been spending the entire year holed up, only briefly leaving to get food, running at the sight of other humans, and transmitting infection.

Two Trump supporters die and go to heaven

God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions. One of them says, Yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud?

God says, "My son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232.

After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers, This goes higher up than we thought.

A man goes to the Optician for his eye test.

The Optician asked him what he can see.
"I see empty airports, empty football grounds, closed theaters and closed pubs."
That's perfect says the Optician, you've got 2020 vision!

I did it! I followed my goal to save $20 from each paycheck in 2020.

I have $60.

In 2017, i didn't jog. In 2018 i didn't jog. In 2019 i didn't jog. In 2020 i didn't jog.

This is a running joke

Two Trump supporters die and go to heaven.

They ask God if he'd answer one question.
"Of course" God says.
They ask how the Democrats rigged the election in 2020.
"It wasn't rigged" God replies.

The Trump supporters look at each other and say, "This conspiracy goes higher than we thought!"

The Ketchup shortage this year was so predictable.

But I guess Heinz sight is 2020

I met my girlfriend in 2020. She has pretty eyes.

I haven't seen her mouth and nose yet, but her eyes are pretty.

You know how people were joking about 2021 sounding like 2020 won ?

Well, next year is 2020 too.

Only when that year is over will it finally be 2020 free.

Two conspiracy theorists die and go to heaven...

God: welcome to the St. Peter's Gates. With my omniscient knowledge, I can tell you anything you wish to know.

Conspiracy Theorist 1: Who won the 2020 US Presidential Election?

God: Joseph R. Biden

Conspiracy Theorist 2: \*Looks at his friend\* shit dude, this goes even deeper than we thought

I hate it when people ask me what the beginning of the pandemic was like.

I don't have 2020 vision.

I used to be worried about 2020, but now I'm worried about 2022

Because 2022 is 2020 too

if 20+20 is 40

21+21 is 40 too

Before 2020 we had the Stockholm syndrome...

Now we're all afflicted with the Stuckhome syndrome.

I can tell it has been 2 years into this decade.

My hindsight is 2020.

The bad news is that I slipped and fell while getting out of the shower and I landed on my glasses. The glasses went up my butt.

The good news?

Hindsight is 20-20

a Trumper dies and goes to heaven.

After getting processed in by St.Peter he goes to find God. He finds God in the garden listening to the birds.

M: "Can I ask you something?"

G: "Anything my child"

M: "Who was the rightful victor of the 2020 US election?"

G: "Joe Biden won fair and square my child"

M: "This goes higher up than I thought."

2010: Didn't jog.

2011: Didn't jog.

2012: Didn't jog.

2013: Didn't jog.

2014: Didn't jog.

2015: Didn't jog.

2016: Didn't jog.

2017: Didn't jog.

2018: Didn't jog.

2019: Didn't jog.

2020: Didn't jog.

2021: Didn't jog.

2022: Still haven't jogged.

This is a running joke.

My new year's resolution for 2023

Is to accomplish the goals of 2022 which I should have done in 2021 because I promised them in 2020 and planned them in 2019