2019 Jokes
100 2019 jokes and hilarious 2019 puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 2019 that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your friends laugh with our collection of the best 2019 jokes from around the world! From witty one-liners to the latest American LOLs, discover the funniest Princeton jokes of the year.
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Funniest 2019 Short Jokes
Short 2019 jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 2019 humour may include short north jokes also.
- A black guy in an library asked me where the colored printer was I said "Sir, this is 2019. You can use any printer you want".
- In 2017, i didn't jog. In 2018 i didn't jog. In 2019 i didn't jog. In 2020 i didn't jog. This is a running joke
- iPhone's from the future. 2016: iPhone 7=no headphone jack
2017: iPhone 8=no battery
2018: iPhone 9=no screen
2019: iPhone 10=no phone at all, just pay Apple $1000 - Marvel Cinematic Universe just announced their newest addition to their 2015 film that will be released in 2019 starring a transgender hero. Auntman
- 2020 has been difficult down here in Alabama. 2019 was tough too though. I lost a dad and uncle. I sure do miss him..
- "Grandma, if you can hear us, show us a sign" until 2019 : Spiritism session.
2020 : Skype call session. - My new year's resolution for 2023 Is to accomplish the goals of 2022 which I should have done in 2021 because I promised them in 2020 and planned them in 2019
- Congrats to the Patriots on their 7th ring, Super Bowls XXXVI (2001), XXXVIII (2003), XXXIX (2004), XLIX (2014), LI (2016), LIII (2018), Prostitution Ring (2019)!
- Why wasn't the movie Five Feet Apart (2019) more successful? It was a year early and a foot short.
- The Court has decided Elon Musk will be Granted Sole Custody of Child X Æ A-12 After Divorce from Wife Grimes Since he filed for and was awarded the patent back in March of 2019
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2019 One Liners
Which 2019 one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 2019? I can suggest the ones about concentration and printer.
- 2019: Stay away from negative People 2020: Stay away from positive people
- Why was 2019 afraid of 2020? Because they had a fight and 2021
- Year 2019 So far, 2019 seems odd.
Like every other year. - 2016 Denial 2017 Anger
2018 Bargaining
2019 Depression
2020 Acceptance - 2019 and 2020 fought to see which year was worse. 2021
- In 2019, school was prison. Now it's house arrest.
- What does my dad and a large crowd have in common? Never seen them since 2019
- I saw them shaking hands
like it was 2019 - Hindsight is overrated... ...20/19 was better
- So we wont see season 8 of Game of Thrones until 2019 They're really dragon it out
- What's something that can be not popular but very viral? Corona in the end of 2019
- -you're so cute. I liked your accent +thank you. It's 2019 1.6 Diesel
- My 2019 is starting off a little bit hazy But 2020 should clear things up.
- The EPA says they'll have Flint's water crisis fixed by 2019 but it's just a pipe dream.
- What did the year 2018 say to 2019? When life gives u lemons, u make lemonade.....l
Hilarious Fun 2019 Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about 2019 you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean university jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 2019 pranks.
Do you know how many North American teams qualified for LOL worlds 2019 group stage?
N/A
Officially committed to Princeton University class of 2019 majoring in women's studies with a concentration in culinary arts
Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford returning for "Indiana Jones 5".
Punchline coming July 19, 2019.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
*Politics* Year 2019, two inmates are talking in a prison:
\- What are you here for?
\- I wrote a comic s**... saying that our president was an idiot.
\- Did they charge you under an article for rioting or harassment then?
\- For disclosure of classified information.
my friend bought tickets for the super bowl Llll on February 3rd 2019 in Atlanta not realizing that it is also the day of his marriage. so if someone is interested
The church is in Rochester, the womens name is Clarissa
Game of Thrones will be coming later than expected in 2019.
I guess the television shows are closer in spirit to the books than we originally thought.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Apple watch
Apple watch features
2018 : ECG
2019 : Angioplasty
2020 : Bypass Surgery
2021: f**... arrangements
#AppleEvent
Talk Like A Pirate Day
"Okay, we know we said we'd come back stronger than ever this year, and we admit that 4th place in the division is not where we wanted to be. But it IS a better-than-.500 record, so there's that, and we have some good prospects in the pipe for 2019."
2019 Mustang was announced at the Geneva motor show.
It was a real hit with the crowds
What will the Soviets do on January 1st, 2019?
They'll make a new year's revolution.
On January 1, 2019, New Horizons will fly by a small, frozen world in the Kuiper Belt called Imndan, which orbits a billion miles beyond Pluto.
This small frozen world is a stereotypical red dot.
Huge spoiler for the Lion King (2019)
Leaks state that James Earl Jones's character will die in the upcoming film. Didn't expect that one!
I'm not sure why all the Canadians are worried about not getting their packages delivered before Christmas
...Christmas 2019
Why is Youtube Rewind called the way that it is?
Because Youtube knows that the videos always improve from rewinding the years.
*Beware of Youtube Rewind 2019*
Hershey bars have dominated chocolate for over a century
It's nearly 2019 now. Is anyone else not offended we still don't have a Himhe bar?
If "Living Coral" is the 2019 Pantone Color of the Year...
I suspect "Dead Coral" will be the color in 2020
..(or 2025... For some fashionable rest consideration)
Im just now realizing its going to be 2019 in just a few days
If you would have told me this months ago i would have called you crazy
In 2019 I will only watch 4K videos
It is my New Year's resolution.
Why was 2019 cancelled?
Because 7 ate 9
My New Year's resolution for 2019 is to not do things prematurely.
So far it's going well.
2019
1817161514131211109876543210
If I travel to the Australia now, I would be in 2019
So that means if I circuit from same path around world, I would be in 2020 right?
2019? Fake News!! Dems did it. Covfefe.
2019 is a lot like a woman.
Chances are I'll be entering it drunk.
Someone asked me where I see myself next year.
I said, I don't have 2020 vision.
Obligatory 2019 version
Guys, we have a problem!
It's almost 2019! What are we going to eat?
Dear God, my prayer for 2019 is for a FAT bank account and a THIN body
Please don't mix it up like last year.
Happy New Year Buffalo Bills fans!
Hope you all have a great 20-19!
I haven't showered all year.
Wait, it's 2019?
I haven't showered since 2017.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I present to you the first bad joke of 2019.
How does a physicist define a woman?
A hormonic oscillator.
Trump twitter: " In 2019 under my administration and the policy's we put in place, there has not been one school shooting"
My dad said jokingly, I'll see you next year.
Then he left to go get a pack of cigarettes... It's 2019, and he's not back yet.
I know we've just seen in 2019, but I personally can't wait to see in 2020 as my eyesight has been going worse for years.
Starting 2019 with a bang.
Boy O boy did I start with a bang at 12:00 midnight. Sweet bed did had to endure.
I quit smoking on Jan 1 2019.
Then again, I quit everyday.
2019 has been canceled
Because 7 are 9 so its 2018 for another year
My 2019 New Year's Resolution is..
to work on the 2018 resolution that I made for my 2017 New Year's resolution.
2019 is gonna be my year!
My last year, that is!
This sub is starting quite lame in 2019.
All the reposts sound if they were from last year.
Congratulations USA
It's 2019
I'm not going to snack any more in 2019
I'm also not going to snack any less though
If you're going into 2019 with poor eyesight...
Just take the rest of the year off and you'll get 2020 vision
Now that it's 2019 I bought a new calendar but I'm afraid for it...
It's days are numbered.
I am glad Game of Thrones is coming to an end in 2019
I hate when TV shows dragon too long.
It hasn't even been 2019 for a month yet
It feels like so much longer ago that I broke all of my resolutions
On my way to KnifeCon 2019 and my heart dropped when I saw the sign "No Sharp Objects".
It was my worst knifemare.
What is in common between a comedian, a chocolate factory owner and a criminal?
They are all running for Ukraine Presidency in 2019.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The official list of emojis for 2019 has been updated to include a drop of blood, which is meant to symbolize m**.... Although, if tech companies really wanted to accurately portray the suffering caused by periods...
...they should use an emoji of a husband quietly m**... in the bathroom.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
1999: kidss sneak out to drink
2009: kids sneak out to smoke w**...
2019: kids sneak out to get vaccinated
Robert Kraft - 7 rings.
Robert Kraft:
- 2001 Super Bowl Ring
- 2003 Super Bowl Ring
- 2004 Super Bowl Ring
- 2014 Super Bowl Ring
- 2016 Super Bowl Ring
- 2018 Super Bowl Ring
- 2019 Prostitution Ring
What noise does a frog engineer make?
Rivet, rivet.
\- 2019, Sam: a dude sisting next to me in class
What do Spain and Finland have in common?
Their drivers were the first to finish the 2019 Melbourne Grand Prix.
Coming in 2019: a new interactive Netflix experience that shows what happens to society when all crimes are legal, and the entire thing is available live streaming. The series you can't miss, it's...
Binging and Purging
I Started Watching A New Series During Lockdown
It's a series about how a respiratory illness spread throughout the world in 2019 and 2020, and damaged many economies, as well as caused many people to lose their lives...the illness is even said to have originated in China. Despite similarities, the writers say it's not based on the novel, *Coronavirus.*
chinese new years
2009. Ox
2010. Tiger.
2011. Rabbit.
2012. Dragon.
2013. Snake.
2014. Horse.
2015. Goat.
2016. Monkey.
2017. Rooster.
2018. Dog.
2019. Pig.
2020. Rat.
2021. Ox.
All served with rice or chips, bat and pangolin scale sauce £1.00 extra.
2019 to 2020 is a lot like Nicki Minaj to Cardi B
I didn't realize how much I enjoyed 2019 until 2020 happened
Saw a little girl walk into my store today wearing a shirt that said FINISHER 2019...
I said sweetie, that's a basic achievement, FINISHER 2020 is the real achievement.
[UK] How do you induce labour?
Go back to December 2019 and hope everyone votes for Jeremy Corbyn
My New Years Resolution is to get a girlfriend
After what happened in 2020, i didn't get the chance to, but 2021 will be the year.
~~After what happened in 2019, i didn't get the chance to, but 2020 will be the year.~~
~~After what happened in 2018, i didn't get the chance to, but 2019 will be the year.~~
~~After what happened in 2017, i didn't get the chance to, but 2018 will be the year.~~
~~After what happened in 2016, i didn't get the chance to, but 2017 will be the year.~~
~~After what happened in 2015, i didn't get the chance to, but 2016 will be the year.~~
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In 2019 I had 20/20 vision.
It was s**....
