2019 Jokes

100 2019 jokes and hilarious 2019 puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 2019 that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make your friends laugh with our collection of the best 2019 jokes from around the world! From witty one-liners to the latest American LOLs, discover the funniest Princeton jokes of the year.

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Funniest 2019 Short Jokes

Short 2019 jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 2019 humour may include short north jokes also.

  1. A black guy in an library asked me where the colored printer was I said "Sir, this is 2019. You can use any printer you want".
  2. In 2017, i didn't jog. In 2018 i didn't jog. In 2019 i didn't jog. In 2020 i didn't jog. This is a running joke
  3. The year is 2018 and I don't jog. The year is 2019 and I don't jog. The year is 2020 and I still don't jog. This is a running joke.
  4. Jogging 2014 Didn't jog
    2015 Didn't jog
    2016 Didn't jog
    2017 Didn't jog
    2018 Didn't jog
    2019 Didn't jog
    2020 Still not jogging
    This is a running joke.
  5. 2013: Didn't jog - 2014: Didn't jog - 2015: Didn't jog - 2016: Didn't jog - 2017: Didn't jog - 2018: Didn't jog - 2019: Didn't jog - 2020: Still haven't jogged This is a running joke.
  6. I didn't run a marathon in 2018. I didn't run a marathon in 2019.
    I didn't run a marathon in 2020.
    I've never run a marathon in my life.
    This is a running joke.
  7. iPhone's from the future. 2016: iPhone 7=no headphone jack
    2017: iPhone 8=no battery
    2018: iPhone 9=no screen
    2019: iPhone 10=no phone at all, just pay Apple $1000
  8. I was visiting my granddaughter the other day and asked to borrow a newspaper. It's 2019, we don't buy newspapers anymore. Here's my iPad.
    I'll tell you this, that fly never knew what hit him.
  9. My 2019 was about staying away from people being negative.. My 2020 was about staying away from people being positive..
  10. Marvel Cinematic Universe just announced their newest addition to their 2015 film that will be released in 2019 starring a transgender hero. Auntman

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2019 One Liners

Which 2019 one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 2019? I can suggest the ones about concentration and teams.

  1. 2019: Stay away from negative People 2020: Stay away from positive people
  2. Why was 2019 afraid of 2020? Because they had a fight and 2021
  3. Year 2019 So far, 2019 seems odd.
    Like every other year.
  4. Why was 2018 scared of 2020? Because 2020 and 2019 got in a fight...and 2021.
  5. 2016 Denial 2017 Anger
    2018 Bargaining
    2019 Depression
    2020 Acceptance
  6. It's 2019 quit making gay jokes Come on guys
  7. 2019 and 2020 fought to see which year was worse. 2021
  8. In 2019, school was prison. Now it's house arrest.
  9. The worst thing I bought in 2019 was a 2020 planner
  10. What does my dad and a large crowd have in common? Never seen them since 2019
  11. I saw them shaking hands
    like it was 2019
  12. Hindsight is overrated... ...20/19 was better
  13. So we wont see season 8 of Game of Thrones until 2019 They're really dragon it out
  14. What's something that can be not popular but very viral? Corona in the end of 2019
  15. 2019 and 2020 got into a fight as to which one was the crappier year. 2021.

2019 joke, 2019 and 2020 got into a fight as to which one was the crappier year.

Hilarious Fun 2019 Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about 2019 you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean printer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 2019 pranks.

Do you know how many North American teams qualified for LOL worlds 2019 group stage?


Officially committed to Princeton University class of 2019 majoring in women's studies with a concentration in culinary arts

*Politics* Year 2019, two inmates are talking in a prison:

\- What are you here for?
\- I wrote a comic s**... saying that our president was an idiot.
\- Did they charge you under an article for rioting or harassment then?
\- For disclosure of classified information.

my friend bought tickets for the super bowl Llll on February 3rd 2019 in Atlanta not realizing that it is also the day of his marriage. so if someone is interested

The church is in Rochester, the womens name is Clarissa

The EPA says they'll have Flint's water crisis fixed by 2019

but it's just a pipe dream.

Game of Thrones will be coming later than expected in 2019.

I guess the television shows are closer in spirit to the books than we originally thought.

Apple watch

Apple watch features
2018 : ECG
2019 : Angioplasty
2020 : Bypass Surgery
2021: f**... arrangements
#AppleEvent⁠ ⁠

Talk Like A Pirate Day

"Okay, we know we said we'd come back stronger than ever this year, and we admit that 4th place in the division is not where we wanted to be. But it IS a better-than-.500 record, so there's that, and we have some good prospects in the pipe for 2019."

What do you say when someone asks you about your plans next year?

Who's to say? I don't have 2019 vision.

Apple and Kia have teamed up to create an amazing vehicle.

Introducing the all new 2019 Apple iKia. With seats made from Ikea furniture.

2019 Mustang was announced at the Geneva motor show.

It was a real hit with the crowds

What will the Soviets do on January 1st, 2019?

They'll make a new year's revolution.

On January 1, 2019, New Horizons will fly by a small, frozen world in the Kuiper Belt called Imndan, which orbits a billion miles beyond Pluto.

This small frozen world is a stereotypical red dot.

Huge spoiler for the Lion King (2019)

Leaks state that James Earl Jones's character will die in the upcoming film. Didn't expect that one!

I'm not sure why all the Canadians are worried about not getting their packages delivered before Christmas

...Christmas 2019

Blind people are going to rejoice in December 2019.

I'm sure they'd form some sort of 2020 vision.

Why is Youtube Rewind called the way that it is?

Because Youtube knows that the videos always improve from rewinding the years.
*Beware of Youtube Rewind 2019*

Hershey bars have dominated chocolate for over a century

It's nearly 2019 now. Is anyone else not offended we still don't have a Himhe bar?

Why was 2019 cancelled?

Because 7 ate 9

My New Year's resolution for 2019 is to not do things prematurely.

So far it's going well.



2019? Fake News!! Dems did it. Covfefe.

Happy New Year Buffalo Bills fans!

Hope you all have a great 20-19!

2019 and 2020 got into a fight...


My dad said jokingly, I'll see you next year.

Then he left to go get a pack of cigarettes... It's 2019, and he's not back yet.

2019 is gonna be my year!

My last year, that is!

I'm not going to snack any more in 2019

I'm also not going to snack any less though

Your mom is so fat

Your mom is so fat, she's both in 2018 and 2019 at the same time.

If you're going into 2019 with poor eyesight...

Just take the rest of the year off and you'll get 2020 vision

Now that it's 2019 I bought a new calendar but I'm afraid for it...

It's days are numbered.

What did the year 2018 say to 2019?

When life gives u lemons, u make lemonade.....l

My 2019 is starting off a little bit hazy

But 2020 should clear things up.

I am glad Game of Thrones is coming to an end in 2019

I hate when TV shows dragon too long.

I can't believe that in 2019 viruses and bacteria can still just invade my body whenever they want

It makes me sick

It hasn't even been 2019 for a month yet

It feels like so much longer ago that I broke all of my resolutions

On my way to KnifeCon 2019 and my heart dropped when I saw the sign "No Sharp Objects".

It was my worst knifemare.

What is in common between a comedian, a chocolate factory owner and a criminal?

They are all running for Ukraine Presidency in 2019.

The official list of emojis for 2019 has been updated to include a drop of blood, which is meant to symbolize m**.... Although, if tech companies really wanted to accurately portray the suffering caused by periods...

...they should use an emoji of a husband quietly m**... in the bathroom.

1999: kidss sneak out to drink

2009: kids sneak out to smoke w**...
2019: kids sneak out to get vaccinated

Congrats to the Patriots on their 7th ring,

Super Bowls XXXVI (2001), XXXVIII (2003), XXXIX (2004), XLIX (2014), LI (2016), LIII (2018), Prostitution Ring (2019)!

Robert Kraft - 7 rings.

Robert Kraft:
- 2001 Super Bowl Ring
- 2003 Super Bowl Ring
- 2004 Super Bowl Ring
- 2014 Super Bowl Ring
- 2016 Super Bowl Ring
- 2018 Super Bowl Ring
- 2019 Prostitution Ring

What noise does a frog engineer make?

Rivet, rivet.

\- 2019, Sam: a dude sisting next to me in class

What do Spain and Finland have in common?

Their drivers were the first to finish the 2019 Melbourne Grand Prix.

Coming in 2019: a new interactive Netflix experience that shows what happens to society when all crimes are legal, and the entire thing is available live streaming. The series you can't miss, it's...

Binging and Purging

I Started Watching A New Series During Lockdown

It's a series about how a respiratory illness spread throughout the world in 2019 and 2020, and damaged many economies, as well as caused many people to lose their lives...the illness is even said to have originated in China. Despite similarities, the writers say it's not based on the novel, *Coronavirus.*

Why wasn't the movie Five Feet Apart (2019) more successful?

It was a year early and a foot short.

-you're so cute. I liked your accent

+thank you. It's 2019 1.6 Diesel

chinese new years

2009. Ox
2010. Tiger.
2011. Rabbit.
2012. Dragon.
2013. Snake.
2014. Horse.
2015. Goat.
2016. Monkey.
2017. Rooster.
2018. Dog.
2019. Pig.
2020. Rat.
2021. Ox.
All served with rice or chips, bat and pangolin scale sauce £1.00 extra.

2019 to 2020 is a lot like Nicki Minaj to Cardi B

I didn't realize how much I enjoyed 2019 until 2020 happened

Saw a little girl walk into my store today wearing a shirt that said FINISHER 2019...

I said sweetie, that's a basic achievement, FINISHER 2020 is the real achievement.

[UK] How do you induce labour?

Go back to December 2019 and hope everyone votes for Jeremy Corbyn

The Court has decided Elon Musk will be Granted Sole Custody of Child X Æ A-12 After Divorce from Wife Grimes

Since he filed for and was awarded the patent back in March of 2019

2020 has been difficult down here in Alabama.

2019 was tough too though. I lost a dad and uncle. I sure do miss him..

"Grandma, if you can hear us, show us a sign"

until 2019 : Spiritism session.
2020 : Skype call session.

My New Years Resolution is to get a girlfriend

After what happened in 2020, i didn't get the chance to, but 2021 will be the year.
~~After what happened in 2019, i didn't get the chance to, but 2020 will be the year.~~
~~After what happened in 2018, i didn't get the chance to, but 2019 will be the year.~~
~~After what happened in 2017, i didn't get the chance to, but 2018 will be the year.~~
~~After what happened in 2016, i didn't get the chance to, but 2017 will be the year.~~
~~After what happened in 2015, i didn't get the chance to, but 2016 will be the year.~~

In 2019, we coughed to cover up a f**....

In 2021, we f**... to cover up a cough.

In 2019 I had 20/20 vision.

It was s**....

Having too much s**... can cause memory loss.

I read it on page 14 in a medical journal on the 14th November 2019 at 3.19pm

2019 joke, Having too much s**... can cause <a href="/memory-jokes.html" title="Memory jokes">memory</a> loss.

jokes about 2019