2019 Jokes

A black guy in an library asked me where the colored printer was

I said "Sir, this is 2019. You can use any printer you want".

Jogging

2014 Didn't jog

2015 Didn't jog

2016 Didn't jog

2017 Didn't jog

2018 Didn't jog

2019 Didn't jog

2020 Still not jogging



This is a running joke.

2013: Didn't jog - 2014: Didn't jog - 2015: Didn't jog - 2016: Didn't jog - 2017: Didn't jog - 2018: Didn't jog - 2019: Didn't jog - 2020: Still haven't jogged

This is a running joke.

Year 2019

So far, 2019 seems odd.

Like every other year.

iPhone's from the future.

2016: iPhone 7=no headphone jack

2017: iPhone 8=no battery

2018: iPhone 9=no screen

2019: iPhone 10=no phone at all, just pay Apple $1000

I was visiting my granddaughter the other day and asked to borrow a newspaper.

It's 2019, we don't buy newspapers anymore. Here's my iPad.

I'll tell you this, that fly never knew what hit him.

Marvel Cinematic Universe just announced their newest addition to their 2015 film that will be released in 2019 starring a transgender hero.

Auntman

It's 2019 quit making gay jokes

Come on guys

2016 Denial

2017 Anger

2018 Bargaining

2019 Depression

2020 Acceptance

The worst thing I bought in 2019

was a 2020 planner

Congrats to the Patriots on their 7th ring,

Super Bowls XXXVI (2001), XXXVIII (2003), XXXIX (2004), XLIX (2014), LI (2016), LIII (2018), Prostitution Ring (2019)!

my friend bought tickets for the super bowl Llll on February 3rd 2019 in Atlanta not realizing that it is also the day of his marriage. so if someone is interested

The church is in Rochester, the womens name is Clarissa

Why wasn't the movie Five Feet Apart (2019) more successful?

It was a year early and a foot short.

I can't believe that in 2019 viruses and bacteria can still just invade my body whenever they want

It makes me sick

I am glad Game of Thrones is coming to an end in 2019

I hate when TV shows dragon too long.

So we wont see season 8 of Game of Thrones until 2019

They're really dragon it out

1999: kidss sneak out to drink

2009: kids sneak out to smoke weed
2019: kids sneak out to get vaccinated

What is in common between a comedian, a chocolate factory owner and a criminal?

They are all running for Ukraine Presidency in 2019.

The official list of emojis for 2019 has been updated to include a drop of blood, which is meant to symbolize menstruation. Although, if tech companies really wanted to accurately portray the suffering caused by periods...

...they should use an emoji of a husband quietly masturbating in the bathroom.

Coming in 2019: a new interactive Netflix experience that shows what happens to society when all crimes are legal, and the entire thing is available live streaming. The series you can't miss, it's...

Binging and Purging

*Politics* Year 2019, two inmates are talking in a prison:

\- What are you here for?

\- I wrote a comic strip saying that our president was an idiot.

\- Did they charge you under an article for rioting or harassment then?

\- For disclosure of classified information.

Saw a little girl walk into my store today wearing a shirt that said FINISHER 2019...

I said sweetie, that's a basic achievement, FINISHER 2020 is the real achievement.

Talk Like A Pirate Day

"Okay, we know we said we'd come back stronger than ever this year, and we admit that 4th place in the division is not where we wanted to be. But it IS a better-than-.500 record, so there's that, and we have some good prospects in the pipe for 2019."

What's something that can be not popular but very viral?

Corona in the end of 2019

It hasn't even been 2019 for a month yet

It feels like so much longer ago that I broke all of my resolutions

On my way to KnifeCon 2019 and my heart dropped when I saw the sign "No Sharp Objects".

It was my worst knifemare.

2019 to 2020 is a lot like Nicki Minaj to Cardi B

I didn't realize how much I enjoyed 2019 until 2020 happened

I Started Watching A New Series During Lockdown

It's a series about how a respiratory illness spread throughout the world in 2019 and 2020, and damaged many economies, as well as caused many people to lose their lives...the illness is even said to have originated in China. Despite similarities, the writers say it's not based on the novel, *Coronavirus.*

2019 and 2020 got into a fight as to which one was the crappier year.

2021.

-you're so cute. I liked your accent

+thank you. It's 2019 1.6 Diesel

Robert Kraft - 7 rings.

Robert Kraft:

- 2001 Super Bowl Ring
- 2003 Super Bowl Ring
- 2004 Super Bowl Ring
- 2014 Super Bowl Ring
- 2016 Super Bowl Ring
- 2018 Super Bowl Ring
- 2019 Prostitution Ring

My 2019 is starting off a little bit hazy

But 2020 should clear things up.

Time machine back to 2019

Dr. Fauci is at the beach when he discovers a bottle, he opens it and a Genie appears.

The Genie says, "I have been trapped for 1000 years.
As a reward you can make a wish."

Dr. Fauci thinks about it and says - Get me time machine so that I can go to 2019 and stop the Chinese spread corona virus.

The Genie replies, "I don't know I can do a lot, but this? Don't you have another wish?"

Dr. Fauci thinks and finally says, OK.
Can you get Floridians wear face mask?

The Genie says, "Which year did you say?"

The EPA says they'll have Flint's water crisis fixed by 2019

but it's just a pipe dream.

What noise does a frog engineer make?

Rivet, rivet.





\- 2019, Sam: a dude sisting next to me in class

[UK] How do you induce labour?

Go back to December 2019 and hope everyone votes for Jeremy Corbyn

Game of Thrones will be coming later than expected in 2019.

I guess the television shows are closer in spirit to the books than we originally thought.

What do Spain and Finland have in common?

Their drivers were the first to finish the 2019 Melbourne Grand Prix.

Officially committed to Princeton University class of 2019 majoring in women's studies with a concentration in culinary arts

chinese new years

2009. Ox
2010. Tiger.
2011. Rabbit.
2012. Dragon.
2013. Snake.
2014. Horse.
2015. Goat.
2016. Monkey.
2017. Rooster.
2018. Dog.
2019. Pig.
2020. Rat.

All served with rice or chips, bat and pangolin scale sauce £1.00 extra.

Your mom is so fat

Your mom is so fat, she's both in 2018 and 2019 at the same time.

If you're going into 2019 with poor eyesight...

Just take the rest of the year off and you'll get 2020 vision

Now that it's 2019 I bought a new calendar but I'm afraid for it...

It's days are numbered.

What did the year 2018 say to 2019?

When life gives u lemons, u make lemonade.....l

My dad said jokingly, I'll see you next year.

Then he left to go get a pack of cigarettes... It's 2019, and he's not back yet.

2019 has been canceled

Because 7 are 9 so its 2018 for another year

2019? Fake News!! Dems did it. Covfefe.

Do you know how many North American teams qualified for LOL worlds 2019 group stage?

N/A

We have collected gags that can be used as 2019 pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about 2019, here are one liners and funny 2019 pick up lines.

Joko Jokes