2018 Jokes
104 2018 jokes and hilarious 2018 puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 2018 that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest 2018 Short Jokes
Short 2018 jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 2018 humour may include short dine jokes also.
- In 2017, i didn't jog. In 2018 i didn't jog. In 2019 i didn't jog. In 2020 i didn't jog. This is a running joke
- Why is Trump excited Russia was banned from the 2018 winter Olympics? It makes it easier to decide who to cheer for
- The salt packet says it was created from a 250 million year old Himalayan rock salt bed The label says the expiry date is June 2018.
I'm so glad they dug it up just in time - The evolution of tide pods In 2017 tids pods cleaned clothes but in 2018 it cleans the gene pool
- If some part of your job feels utterly pointless, remember Putin campaigned for the 2018 elections.
- Parents in 1998: Don't believe everything you read on the internet Parents in 2018: Did you know that dogs will die if you feed them ice cubes?
- The Trump Years in a Nutshell 2016: Trump doesn't stand a chance.
2017: Trump's still trying?
2018: "Hey, are you guys going to watch the hunger games tonight? I hope my district wins" - iPhone's from the future. 2016: iPhone 7=no headphone jack
2017: iPhone 8=no battery
2018: iPhone 9=no screen
2019: iPhone 10=no phone at all, just pay Apple $1000 - When I see Donald Trump I get the same thought in my head as I get after a particularly painful bikini wax.
Bush wasn't that bad.
- Russian Elections Ministry of Russian election announcement: Elections of Vladimir Putin will commence as planned in 2018.
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2018 One Liners
Which 2018 one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 2018? I can suggest the ones about district and upset.
- There is no God -Stephen Hawking, 2011 There is no Stephen hawking God, 2018
- I'm going to buy a 6k monitor for 2018 It's my new year's resolution.
- After 23 school shootings in 2018 We did it. We finally banned straws.
- 1848: You Have Died of Dysentery 2018: You Have Died From Having To Pump Your Own Gas
- Walmart announced the closing of 175 stores in 2018 Putting 12 cashiers out of work
- So 2018 is the Chinese year of the dog... Looks like it's gonna be ruff
- It's almost 2018! My New Year's revolution is to proofread more.
- 2016 Denial 2017 Anger
2018 Bargaining
2019 Depression
2020 Acceptance - I hate it when people talk about their 'spirit animals' It's 2018, you can say fursona.
- The 2018 STAR WARS movie isn't part of a trilogy... ...it's a Solo film
- Why will the 2018 world cup in Russia be so cold? There's no Chile in it.
- Happy New Year #2018 first.
- I wonder who's watching me now, the IRS? 1984 paranoid ramblings
2018 passing remark - My New Year's resolution is to stop using aerosol deodorants Roll on 2018
- My New Years resolution for 2018 is...
Uproarious 2018 Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about 2018 you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hope jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 2018 pranks.
We're supposed to lose all the trees by 2020
but if we work hard, we can make it by 2018.
2016: Surely Donald Trump won't win
2017: He can't do that... right?
2018: I hope my district wins the Hunger Games!
I started seeing a psychic.
I knew she was good because she told me she's voted best in the city 2017 and 2018.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Scientists have found a chemical in m**... that can be used to develop a cheap printer ink.
The first *s**...* cartridges ship in early 2018.
2018 kids won't get this
Coming out of the closet in 2018
Mom.. Dad.... I have to tell you something and you may not like it.... sometimes when I visit the neighbor boy... we lock the door to his room.. and watch the NFL
What do you call 23 men watching the World Cup 2018?
The Scotland National Team.
My 2018 health insurance premiums went up 40% but I'll be paying 30% less than the previous year.
Because I won't have any money left for food or rent so I'll probably die half way through the year.
I will do something good for my country in year 2018
I will leave the country.
What do you get when you combine Battlefront II with the internet of 2018?
Pai to play
Putin: "Russia did not meddle in 2016."
International Olympic Committee: "You certainly won't in 2018."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2018
2016 - your favourite famous person is dead
2017 - your favourite famous person is a s**... offender
- your favourite famous person is RUSSIAN.
So, what is your new resolution for 2018?
5120 x 2880
Meteorologists have forecast snow throughout the US for the entire year of 2018
Flake news
My resolution for 2018 is to stay in shape
Lucky for me, round is a shape
I hate it when people mention forgetting about their 2017 problems.
I'm coming into 2018 with 2012 problems
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you started having s**... at 11:59:59 on New Years Eve....
You would've finished at exactly the start of 2018.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to quit smoking
Friend: My new year resolution for 2018 is to quit smoking.
Me: That's great, I might have a tip for you.
Friend: What is it? Most tips online don't seem to work for me.
Me: It's pretty simple actually. Try to limit your smokes to only after s**.... As you get older, you'll smoke less and less.
Friend: Has it worked for you?
Me: I don't smoke, but my wife has quit smoking ever since we've been married.
I just postponed my 2018 new year resolution to next week
My resolution is no procrastination
Welcome to the 2018 Golden Globes
Where Hollywood will pat itself on the back and several men will pat Hollywood on the front
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My auntie gave me a n**... Banana Calender 2018 for Christmas..
I just don't see the apeel.
My New Year Resolution for 2018 is...
Buying bitcoin in 2011!
Was volunteering in the library on MLK Day...
Was volunteering in the library on MLK Day behind the help desk when a black guy asks where the colored printers are.
I said, "it's MLK day 2018, you can use whichever printer you want!"
Her: What 're your 2018 resolutions?
Me: I don't make 1, let alone 2018 of them
Elton John and Miley Cyrus win best original rendition by an original artist at the 2018 Grammy Awards
For best original cover of Tony Danza
Which country brought the most competitors to the 2018 Winter Olympics?
Brazil. They brought 8 Brazilian athletes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's so tiring being a gay guy in 2018
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2018 will be the first year that you see people born in the year 2000 in a s**... tape....
Next years are even better, trust me.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? [Modernized, 2018]
Because 7 pointed thermonuclear warheads at 9.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How did the guy who touched the 2018 calendar get electrocuted.
.
.
.
.
Cause it was the **"current"** year.
¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
For 2016 I gave up smoking, for 2017 I gave up drinking.
For 2018 I gave up compulsive lying.
How is the government in 2018 like a diner?
No substitutions!
The snack companies of the world have announced the food Olympics for 2018.
Supposedly two of the events have an interesting relay-sun-chip.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
According to a new 2018 opinion poll:
p**... are out and Vaginas are in.
What do you call graduating from an American High school in 2018?
Dodging a bullet
True jokes
Malaysian politics.
Malaysian prime minister.
Malaysian election 2018
_now ready for downvotes
2018 is the Year of the sequel.
Deadpool 2, Avengers Infinity war 3, Incredibles 2, World War 3.
If Liverpool wins, somebody warn the Pope!
1981:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool wins the Champions League
3. The Pope dies
2005:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool wins the Champions League
3. The Pope dies
2018:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool is in the Champions League's final
3.
they say we shouldn't assume ones gender in 2018...
When did we become so risk conscious?
I'll take 50/50 odds any day!
A man killed himself on his birthday...
His last words were "My life is a joke"
The date was April 1st, 2018.
Day 2: Iran Morroco
It was about 2018 kilometers
2016, the year our heros died. 2017, the year our heroes betrayed us. 2018...
Garbage day.
My 2018 New Year's resolution is to procrastinate this year.
This is my most successful resolution so far.
The Germans have just been eliminated from the 2018 World Cup.
They always seem to have a tough time in Russia.
Went to see the doctor about my blocked ear.
"Which ear is it?" he asked.
"2018." I replied.
Son: Dad, why is my sister's name Rose?
Me: Because your mom loves roses.
Son: What about me?
Me: It's a long story, FIFA World Cup™ Russia 2018.
What did the Helsinki Summit have in common with the 2018 World Cup?
Nobody was playing for the USA.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to turn on a phone in 2018
With a finger or a f**...
What would God's 10 commandments be called in 2018?
Top 10 Commandments from God©
In 1970 they said that in 30 years we'd be vacationing on the moon.
It's 2018 and instead we're talking about vacationing on Mars some day.
Its 2018 ladies, better treat your man right
Other another man will
There should be a pageant for minor criminals where it's based solely on their demeanor, not looks.
Whoever wins will be crowned Miss Demeanor 2018.
Everyone keeps talking about racial intolerance. It's time we address lactose intolerance.
can't believe this is still a problem in 2018. Justice for dairy products
What did Admiral Ackbar say when he was browsing the internet in 2018?
IT'S A TRAP
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Officially from 10 Dec 2018 onwards, the comparatives of 'bad'
**Officially from 10 Dec 2018 onwards, the comparatives of 'bad' will be 'worse' and 'worse than Brexit'.**
Grindr got hacked in March of 2018.
Looks like someone found the back door.
What's the difference between the 2018 Fifa World Cup and 21 Savage?
Only one came home.
Congrats to the Patriots on their 7th ring,
Super Bowls XXXVI (2001), XXXVIII (2003), XXXIX (2004), XLIX (2014), LI (2016), LIII (2018), Prostitution Ring (2019)!
