2016 Jokes

130 2016 jokes and hilarious 2016 puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 2016 that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you need a break from the daily grind? Look no further than 2016 Jokes- an Edinburgh Fringe-curated collection of hilarious quips and witty observations to put our vision of reality into its proper dysfunctional context.

Funniest 2016 Short Jokes

Short 2016 jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 2016 humour may include short vision jokes also.

  1. In 2016, celebrities died and their legacies touched people. In 2017, celebrities touched people and their legacies died.
  2. Donald Trump was asked if he could quote any Bible verses. He replied,"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Deport him and you do not have to feed him again."
    Trump 20:16
  3. I work in a library and a black guy asked me if there are any coloured printers... I said, "Dude, it's 2016 you can use any printer you want."
  4. At 23:59 31.12.2015 I raised my left foot off the ground Just to be sure I start 2016 on the right foot
  5. So I was at the Library today .. And a black Gentleman came over to me and asked where the coloured printer was. I replied "Man its 2016 you can use any printer!"
  6. So the essay portion of the SATs will be dropped in 2016... I guess we'll just have to call them the Ts.
  7. People in the U.S. eat more bananas than monkeys. In 2016, they ate 73,432,384 banana,
    and only ate 6 monkeys.
  8. I want to repaint my room a shade of white... ...but I can't decide between "eggshell", "beige", or "2016 Oscars".
  9. Who would win a battle between an orangutan and a hyena? I don't know, but we'll find out November 8, 2016.
  10. What do the 2016 Rio Olympics and the 2016 US presidential race have in common? Half of the competitors cheat and the other half aren't qualified.

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2016 One Liners

Which 2016 one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 2016? I can suggest the ones about dysfunction and president.

  1. Why does hillary clinton have two Ls in her first name? 1 for 2008, 1 for 2016
  2. Fidel Castro survived 638 assassination attempts But even he could not survive 2016
  3. What is with 2016? It's like everyone and their mothers are dying.
    ^^sorry ^^not ^^sorry
  4. I started 2016 with a goal to lose 20 pounds Only 30 more to go and I'm there!
  5. I can sum up 2016 in four words Two thousand and sixteen
  6. Just when you think 2016 has finished killing celebrities... WHAM (George Michael)
  7. I'm tired of making fun of Mariah Carey It's so 2016
  8. I remember 2016... Just like it was yesterday.
  9. Everyone thought the UK made the stupidest decision of 2016 Sure showed them
  10. A Muslim enters the United States Oh sorry thought it was still 2016.
  11. I can sum up 2016 in one word... Nine.
  12. The final death of 2016.... Mariah Carey's live performance career
  13. 2016 Denial 2017 Anger
    2018 Bargaining
    2019 Depression
    2020 Acceptance
  14. 2016 ends with Mariah Carey dying On the stage.
  15. 2016 started with the death of a gorilla ...and is ending with the death of a Guerilla

Rio 2016 Jokes

Here is a list of funny rio 2016 jokes and even better rio 2016 puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How bad was the Rio 2016 Olympic? None of the North Korean athletes defected.
  • What's the difference between the 2016 Rio Olympics and the 2016 US presedential race? The Olympic competitors are qualified.
  • Which athletes will not get Zika at Rio 2016? Those on Team Great Britain, because they'll leave.
  • Who poisoned the waters in the 2016 Olympics? It was I, **RIO**!!!
2016 joke, Who poisoned the waters in the 2016 Olympics?

Gather Around for Heartwarming 2016 Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about 2016 you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean inability jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 2016 pranks.

Obama walks into a bar.....

Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age. He gets bored after a while in heaven, and asks God if he can return to Earth for a while to see how the good ole' US of A is turning out. God agrees.
Obama returns to Brooklyn, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer. He asks the barkeep "How's the country? How are foreign affairs? Any problems currently being faced?"
"Oh, nothing at all, sir. We're an empire now. We're successful."
"But what about Iraq and Afghanistan? Those were t**... hotspots not too long ago?"
"We control it now. We're an empire. Everything is good."
"But what about Europe, Asia, and their financial crises?"
"That too has been taken care of. We are now finally an empire."
Pleased at the outlook of the country he once led, Obama asks the bartender for the bill:
"65 rubles, sir", replies the bartender.

Putin decides to invade Poland

Putin decides to invade Poland. But first, he wants to check the future situation in his country by visiting a fortuneteller.
Putin: Hello! I'd like to ask how much would a 0,7l bottle of v**... in Moscow 2016 cost.
Fortuneteller: Hmmm... it seems about twenty.
Putin: Rubles?!?
Fortuneteller: No, PLN.

Former eye doctor Rand Paul decided to run for president in 2016

Of all people, you would have thought he'd have 2020 vision

I highly doubt that Monica Lewinsky will support Hillary in 2016.

I mean, the last time a Clinton was a president, it left a really bad taste in her mouth.

In 2016, Democrats will have to choose between a 70 year-old socialist...

...and Bernie Sanders.

People want to know if the Vice President will be running in 2016

He might, but for now he's just Biden his time.

Everyone is wondering if Biden will jump into the 2016 race

He's just Biden his time.

The store said they had 2016 calanders

But when I went there and they only had 115 calanders.

Argon walks into a bar

The bartender looks up and says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."
Argon doesn't react because reacting has been copyrighted by The Fine Bros since 2016.

WalMart is closing down 269 stores in 2016

Due to this, 17 cashiers will lose their jobs.

Where's the best place to go if you want a little head?

The 2016 Olympics.

2016: Surely Donald Trump won't win

2017: He can't do that... right?
2018: I hope my district wins the Hunger Games!

Kanye West was found alive in his apartment today.

Another sad day for the music industry in 2016.

If Hillary Clinton wins in 2016,

It will be the first time that two presidents have had s**... with each other

Today is National 'Secure a rich lover' Day

Mate wealth, 2016.

Most Contradictory Inspirational Quote Ever?

"Follow Your Dreams."
-Freddy Kreuger, 2016

A newbie at work asked me if I knew where the coloured printer was.

I said "It's 2016, Jamal, you can use any printer you want"

Euro 2016

Hi! I've got 2 tickets for the final of Euro 2016 but forgot that it's on the same day as my wedding so I can't go.
If you are interested and want to go instead of me ...
... It's at St. Nicholas' Church, Brighton and she's called Jane.

When people ask why I have a "Trump 2016" sticker on my car I say it's for safety.

When i'm pulled over, it's the quickest way to tell the Cop i'm white.

As of Nov 9, 2016, what will be the 2nd most populous state in America?


Is it really 2016?

Is it really 2016? I mean Tarzan is playing in theaters, Pokemon is a craze, and a Clinton is running for President of the United States.

Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump

Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential Election, because the last time a Clinton was in office, it left a bad taste in her mouth.

The head of the 2016 somali Olympic squad has apologized to officials on behalf of their team...

...after realizing shooting and sailing were two separate events.

Michael Phelps will be the flag bearer for the 2016 USA Olympic Team

I hope he holds our flag high.

It's the 2016 Olympics

And Chris Brown is still the most famous female boxer

Whats the biggest lie of 2016?

I am a passenger.

2016 is going off the rails with all the people getting offended. There are even some people who've decided it's racist to say "black paint".

Instead you're supposed to say something like "Shawn, would you please paint that fence?"

iPhone's from the future.

2016: iPhone 7=no headphone jack
2017: iPhone 8=no battery
2018: iPhone 9=no screen
2019: iPhone 10=no phone at all, just pay Apple $1000

I was in a computer room in college today...

A black person asked where the coloured printer was. I said, "it's 2016 you can use any printer."

A guy walks into a Kinkos and asks, "Do you have any colored printers?"

To which the clerk responds, "It's 2016 man. You can use any printer you want."

2016 Election

Honestly hurricane Matthew should run for president because I think he left the biggest mark on the country

What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep?


In 1973, the Six Million Dollar Man consisted of a bionic man with super powers...

In 2016, the Six Million Dollar Man consists of two hip replacements.

A pessimist and an optimist are watching one of the 2016 debates...

The pessimist says "It can't get any worse" and the optimist says "Oh yes it can!"

As a brown person in the US...

People would yell at me to get out of their country and I would get offended and feel attacked.
After election 2016, I just reply, "thanks for the concern! You should too!"

People are wondering who will win the 2016 Presidential election, but I already know who will win the next election.

That's because I've got 2020 vision.

The Trump Years in a Nutshell

2016: Trump doesn't stand a chance.
2017: Trump's still trying?
2018: "Hey, are you guys going to watch the hunger games tonight? I hope my district wins"


where Leiceister City defies the odds of 3000/1 to win the league title, Cubs win the world series, and Donald Trump is elected as the president of the United States

Now I'm just going to wait till the end of 2016 and hope Obama says:

"Chill out guys, all of this was just a prank. I'm going for the 3rd term".

I voted for Giant Meteor for 2016

Guess I'll just hope for another.


The year Brock Turner got sentenced to 3 months but America got 4 years.

A joke from Korea

"Americans are saying that in 2016, they will either have their first woman president, or their first insane president.
Like what's the big deal? Korea did both in one election cycle back in 2012"

I went to the local library

And found out that the post apocalyptic section has been shifted to current affairs after the us elections 2016

Democrats have been really angry over the 2016 election results

The last time Democrats were THIS angry is when the Republicans took their slaves away

As bad as 2016 seems to be, it could be worse...

You could have got a phone call from Charlie Sheen.

Me on New Year's Day: 2016 is so going to be my year!

(Morgan Freeman narration): 2016 would not, in fact, be anyone's year.

2016 is like...

A 30 second ad on YouTube that you can't skip

ISIS Awards Night:

The 2016 best s**... bomber award goes to Mohammed.
Unfortunately Mohammed can't be with us tonight.

2016 is like a crisp autumn wind on a clear day in Venice

It blows.
(Get well soon Carrie)

Last year I was quite miserable and depressed, so I made it my new year's resolution to turn that around.

Thanks 2016, you helped me achieve my goal and made me depressed and miserable.

Just when you think the celebrity deaths are done for 2016,

Wham! there's one more.

My goal for 2017.... to accomplish the goals of 2016 which I should have done in 2015 because I made a promise in 2014 and planned in 2013

When you thought all of the celeb deaths of 2016 were over

then WHAM!

If you think changing the 6 to a 7 in 2016 will make it better

Just remember how it turned out for the Galaxy Note 7

2016 is on such a high kill streak

I'm worried for when it's going to unlock nukes

Buzzfeed in 10 years...

"Celebrity Deaths of 2016"
\#4,562 will shock you!

2016 strikes again. The inventor of the inappropriate innuendo has died.

His family are taking it really hard.

2016 has done the impossible

It claimed the life of Chuck Norris.
"Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist, actor, film producer and screenwriter died this morning in his house in Oklahoma at the age of 76. He is feeling much better now and has fully recovered from this minor annoyance."

What's the best way to wrap up 2016?

Debbie Reynolds Wrap.

Why is Hillary spelled with 2 L's?

One for 2008 and one for 2016.

In order to finish my 2016 resolution, i cut off my left leg...

That way, I'll reach my goal of losing 20 pounds AND start 2017 off on the right foot!

2016 joke, In order to finish my 2016 resolution, i cut off my left leg...

jokes about 2016