Dear JUSTIN BEIBER haters*
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.
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I owe my life to justin.
On march 9th, 2012 I was in a coma for 6 months after a terrible car crash.
One day my nurse turned the radio to Justin's song, So I got up and turned the radio off.
Hey guys I'm sending this through Internet Explorer, hope you guys had a great 2012!
**Rorschach's Journal August 24, 2012**
I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci." Good joke.
**Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.**
My first boyfriend asked me to do missionary and I buggered off to Africa for six months
- Hayley Ellis, 2012
The Dark Knight (2008) The Dark Knight Rises (2012) Congratulations, Barack Obama.
Trump: Mr. Obama, out of sheer curiosity, what must I need to do in order to be elected President of the United States?
Obama: President?? You have to be stupid, ignorant, probably delusional to think you can be qualified to be the President of the United States!
Trump: Perfect, I will see you on your way out then.
Obama: What???
"Americans are saying that in 2016, they will either have their first woman president, or their first insane president.
Like what's the big deal? Korea did both in one election cycle back in 2012"
A movie about 2020 named 2012 came out in 2009
I can't wait to watch that one movie 2012. If I'm with kids, I'll say yeah, I remember that. I barely survived. I'm glad we rebuilt.
Donald Trump, 2012.
Suicide by cop.
I haven't seen this many white people interested in whats going on in Africa since Mufasa died.
The end of the world had 2020 vision.
Is to achieve my goals of 2015
Which I had should have done in 2014
And promised in 2013
And planned in 2012
And to remember to write 2017 instead of 2016
A man is complaining to his friend: "My elbow really hurts. I think I need to see a doctor." His friend answers: "Dude, this is 2012, in the supermarket they have a new computer that can diagnose much faster and cheaper. Just place a urine sample in the machine and it says what's wrong, and that only for $1!"
The man decides to take a shot, fills a glass with urine, goes to the supermarket, finds the computer and pours his urine into the computer. Immediately a small paper is printed and comes out of the computer: "TENNIS ELBOW. Keep your arm warm for a few days and avoid heavy lifting. In two weeks you'll be better."
The former scriptkiddie is impressed and decides to see if he can confuse the computer. He mixes dishwashing water with diarrhea from his dog, together with some urine from his wife and daughter. To finish it he masturbates and drops his sperm into the cup and mixes everything again.
when he arrives in the supermarked he drops his mixture into the computer. The computer spits out a little less small paper: "Your tap water contains too much calcium, buy softener. Your dog has parasites, give him medicines. Your daughter smokes marihuana, speak with her. Your wife is pregnant and you're not the father, get yourself a good lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better!
I'm coming into 2018 with 2012 problems
He would have got beaten.
2009. Ox
2010. Tiger.
2011. Rabbit.
2012. Dragon.
2013. Snake.
2014. Horse.
2015. Goat.
2016. Monkey.
2017. Rooster.
2018. Dog.
2019. Pig.
2020. Rat.
All served with rice or chips, bat and pangolin scale sauce £1.00 extra.
The U.S. Olympic Basketball team went to the 2012 London Olympics.
Because have you actually felt alive since then
In light of Mitt Romney's recent statements to the press, President Obama has decided to let Mitt Romney do his campaigning for him.
Well has anyone felt alive since then?
Many babies will be born on September 21, 2013
We have collected gags that can be used as 2012 pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about 2012, here are one liners and funny 2012 pick up lines.