2011 Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious 2011 puns

There is no God -Stephen Hawking, 2011

There is no Stephen Hawking God, 2018

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Boss: "Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life"!!

Me: "Well It got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in Santiago 2011

Boss: "Really"?

Me: "No"

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Welfare Check

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi.. You know...., I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.

The welfare clerk behind the counter said, Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.

"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!

The welfare clerk said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."

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Heard a vintage 2011 today.

The Navy Seals just invented a new drink, the "bin Laden". Two shots to the face and a splash of water.

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A guy walks into a welfare office...

to pick up his check. He marched
straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing
welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.

"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.
This is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."

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In 2011, a $3,200 cake made for Paris Hilton's birthday was stolen by a party crasher by the name of "Paz".

I've heard party crashers do crazy things but that one takes the cake.

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The new Slenderman​ movie is coming out

It's the most anticipated movie of 2011

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My New Year Resolution for 2018 is...

Buying bitcoin in 2011!

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If I would be a meme it would be Chuck Testa.

I look alive but I've been dead since at least 2011...

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I'm using Internet Explorer so I hope this'll get posted quickly.

I hope you'll have a wonderful year of 2011!

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Ethiopia is ages behind the rest of the world.

Happy Ethiopian new year!!! 2011

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I'm sending this through internet explorer on Australian Fibre To The Node

Happy New Year 2011!

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Isn't it time we stopped celebrating Columbus day?

Peter Falk died in 2011.

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Osama bin laden

*ji had it coming.*


- Jimmy Carr "Big Fat Quiz 2011"

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TIL that knitting ex champion Teresa Keller lost her title in 2011 just because she was kitting with a slightly different color.

Oops wrong thread.

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A guy comes to a sex shop...

"Can I please take a look at that pink blow up doll...what's the manufacturing date on there?"
"January, 2011"
"Sagittarius..nah fuck that"

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Apple CEO Tim Cook says he came out of the closet 'to prove you can be gay and do big jobs.'

I thought Big Jobs died in 2011.

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Happy 2011!

I can't wait for Internet Explorer 9.

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THANK GOD it's 2018

Finally, all that gum I ate in 2011 is coming out!

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Who did Derrick Rose dress up as for Halloween?

His 2011 self.

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What are the most funny 2011 jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about 2011? Well, here are the best 2011 dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and 2011 pick up lines to share with friends.

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