2009 Jokes

Everyone is talking about how the inaugural attendance was 1/40 of what it was in 2009...

They don't understand how killer the commute from Moscow is.

My eight year old sister asked me what my unlucky number was

"2009"

I owe my life to Justin Bieber.

On March 9th, 2009, I was in a coma for 6 months after a terrible accident. One day my nurse turned the radio over to a song by Justin Bieber, so I got up and turned the radio off.

Wrote this while waiting for a burrito in 2009

What's the difference between Helen Keller and Susan B. Anthony?

One doesn't know her place, the other can't find it.

You know a movie which was ahead of its time

A movie about 2020 named 2012 came out in 2009

A dentist warns his patient...

Dentist: Be advised: this will hurt a lot!
Patient: Nahh don't worry. I can deal with pain very well.
Dentist: I have an affair with your wife since 2009...

1999: kidss sneak out to drink

2009: kids sneak out to smoke weed
2019: kids sneak out to get vaccinated

My grandfather killed 13 men in Vietnam.

In 2009.

I'm not surprised Tiger Woods to get arrested for a DUI...

...he hasn't been driving straight since 2009.

My friend: What's up?

Me: A 2009 Pixar film.

No, you may not have my 2009 Pixar animated film.

I'm never gonna give you Up.

I met a famous American comedian on a White House tour

I walked up to him, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I thought you retired in 2009?"

If Rihanna were born in July...

Then could it said that in 2009, Chris Brown beat Cancer?

What is Chris Brown's biggest hit?

Rihanna (2009)

A man exclaims to his wife, "I can see 6 years into the future..."

"Thanks to my 2020 vision!"
His wife replies, "How long have you been waiting to use that joke?"
He happily says, "Since 2009!"

chinese new years

2009. Ox
2010. Tiger.
2011. Rabbit.
2012. Dragon.
2013. Snake.
2014. Horse.
2015. Goat.
2016. Monkey.
2017. Rooster.
2018. Dog.
2019. Pig.
2020. Rat.

All served with rice or chips, bat and pangolin scale sauce £1.00 extra.

I have just read FHM's top grooming products of 2009. Surely they got it wrong.....

Haribo were not even in the top 10.

I know how to defeat Thanos

We need to pull up his homophobic tweets from 2009.

We have collected gags that can be used as 2009 pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about 2009, here are one liners and funny 2009 pick up lines.

Joko Jokes