200 Bad Jokes
15 200 bad jokes and hilarious 200 bad puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 200 bad that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest 200 Bad Short Jokes
Short 200 bad jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 200 bad humour may include short two grand jokes also.
- Why are women so bad at parking cars? Because for the last 200 years they've been told that three inches are actually six.
- A man looking at himself in the mirror exclaims to his wife "Check out these 200 lbs. of pure dynamite!" To which she replies without hesitation: "Yeah too bad the fuse is too short..."
- I was admiring my n**... body in the mirror today, when I said to my wife, "Look at this! 200 pounds of pure dynamite!" My wife replied, "Too bad about the two inch fuse!"
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200 Bad Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about 200 bad you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 200 bad pranks.
Multiple-choice test results
I got a 11 out of 200 in a multiple choice test and the teacher was fuming with anger.
To demonstrate how bad I did he took out an empty answer sheet, put a shoe mark on it and fed it into the marking machine.
The result is 18 out of 200...
So i went to an shop to buy a vacuum cleaner...
And i looked at the prices, one was $100 the other was $99.
I looked in my pocket and i had $200.
But they were too cheap, so i went to look in a thirft store for something better.
When i got there, one was $130, the other $200 and the other $100.
But those were all used vacuum cleaners, and some of them were in a real bad shape.
So i went into another store, this one was especially fancy.
One was $500 the other was $400, but i had no money for that!
I went home feeling sad and angry for the rest of the day.
But thinking back now, there is no reasom to be sad because of it, they all s**... anyway
Moses was sent by the Israelites...
to the top of Mount Sinai to negotiate with God over the commandments. After a month of intense discussion, an exhausted Moses came down with a list of 200 commandments.
The Israelites, however, weren't happy with this, and sent him back up to negotiate a better deal.
A week later, a washed out Moses returned from his mission.
"I've got some good news and some bad news," Moses told the Israelites.
"The good news is that I've gotten the list down to ten.
The bad news is that adultery is still on there."
A shy guy walks into a bar...
... and sees a a beautiful girl. After an hour, he goes to try talking to her:
-Excuse me, can we talk for some minutes?
Afterwards, the girl screams:
-NO! I Don't wanna sleep with you!
Now everyone in the bar looks weird to them. Obviously, the guy, ashamed, goes back to his table and asks for a beer. Several minutes later, the girl comes to him, smiles and tell him:
-Sorry if i made you feel bad. I'm studying psychology and checking how people reacts in awkward situations.
After that, the guy screams:
-WHAT? $200?
Fool or be fooled
A greedy guy was walking and passed by a hospital and there was a sign that says "pay 100$ for a treatment and if we couldn't treat you we give you 200$ back"
So he decided to fool them and get extra money so he goes in and says to the docter i lost my taste buds and the doctor calls his assistant and says i want a (pp7) potion and the man says it tastes very bad and the doctor says congratulations you got back your taste buds
So the man decides to get revenge and he goes to the same hospital again and said to the doctor i lost my memory so the doctor says to his assistant and says i want a (pp7) potion and the man said isn't that for the taste buds? And the doctor says congratulations you got back your memory
Sorry for the long post (:
A Rabbi Joke
"Rabbi Schomburg, I need 200 dollars badly for a down payment", said Cohen. "I keep praying to God for help but he doesn't send any!" "The important thing is not to lose faith", the rabbi said. "Just keep praying." After Cohen left, the rabbi felt sorry for him. He decided to give him 100 dollars out of his own pocket. The next time he saw Cohen the rabbi gave him the money and said, "Here, God sent this to you!"
Back home Cohen was grateful. "Thank you Lord," he said. "But next time can you not send it thru Rabbi Schomburg? That crook kept half of it!"
The f**... Dog
A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian f**... procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file. The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said:
"I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen an Italian f**... like this. Whose f**... is it?"
"My wife's."
''What happened to her?"
"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"
The Italian man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."
A very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood and silence passed between the two men...
The Jewish man then asked "Can I borrow the dog?"
The Italian man replied, "Get in line."
A Scotsman goes into a brothel
in Amsterdam one night and finds himself a nice-looking p**....
He asks her, 'How much dae ye charge for an hour?' '€100,' she replies.
So he asks, 'Okay, dae ye dae it Scottish style?' She says 'No!'
He then says 'I'll gie you €200 to dae it Scottish style'. She didn't even know what 'Scottish style' was, but again says, 'No',
He then offers her $300, but she declines his offer, so finally he says, 'Last chance. I'll gie ye €500 to go Scottish style wi' me!'
Finally she agrees, thinking, 'Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now. I've been there and done that, had every kind of request from weirdos from every corner of the world. How bad could 'Scottish style; be?'
So she goes ahead and has s**... with him, doing it in every kind of way and in every possible position. Finally, after several intense hours they finish. Exhausted, the h**... turns to him and says, 'That was really fantastic. I've never enjoyed it so much. But I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. Where does the 'Scottish style' come in?'
The Scotsman replies, 'I'll pay ye next week'
Just got this in an email: The ITALIAN f**......
The ITALIAN f**......
A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual f**... procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.
Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said:
"I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a f**... like this. Whose f**... is it?"
"My wife's."
''What happened to her?"
"She yelled at me and my dog attacked
and killed her."
He inquired further, "But who is in
the second hearse?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law.
She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her. She didn’t survive either."
A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
The man replied, "Get in line."
Bad News
In the Hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
I'm afraid I am the bearer of bad news, he said as he surveyed the worried faces, The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky, and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a length of time, someone asked, Well, how much does a brain cost? The Doctor quickly responded, $5000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain.
The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, Why is the male brain so much more?
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and then to the entire group said, It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've been used.
Indian Style?
A Canadian Indian picks up a h**....
'How much do you charge for da hour, sister?' he asks.
'$100,' she replies.
He says 'Do you do Indian style?'
'No' she says.
'I pay you $200 to do it Indian style'
'No', she says, not knowing what Indian style is.
'I pay you $300'
'No', she says.
'I pay you $400'
'No', she says.
So finally he says, 'OK, I pay you $1,000 to do it Indian style.'
She thinks, 'Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now. I've
had every kind of request from weirdos from every part of the world.
How bad could Indian Style be?''.
So she agrees and has s**... with him.
They do it in every kind of way and in every possible position.
Finally, after several hours, they finish. Exhausted, the h**... turns to him and says, 'Hey, I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. But that was good. So what exactly is 'Indian style'?'
The Indian replies 'You send da bill to da Government'
The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say.
"Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves."
"Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives.
"For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000."
Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood.
A few actually smirked.
But the patient’s daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?"
"A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women’s brains have to be marked down because they have actually been used."