2 Step Jokes
132 2 step jokes and hilarious 2 step puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about 2 step that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest 2 Step Short Jokes
Short 2 step jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The 2 step humour may include short two part jokes also.
- Step by step guide on how to fall down stairs Step 1:
Step 2:
Step 4:
Step 7:
Step 12:
Step 18:
Step 25:
Hospital - How to fall down the stairs Step 1.
Step 2.
Step 3.
Step 6.
Step 11.
Step 16.
Floor. - What is the fastest way to become a millionaire? Step 1: become a billionaire.
Step 2: buy an EA game. - How to turn your tongue into very own super hero! Step 1: place tongue between teeth
Step 2: bite down. Hard.
Step 3: your tongue should now be Thor. - Two men are discussing how they'll reach a lightbulb that needs to be changed. Man 1: would you like the ladder or the step stool?
Man 2: I prefer the ladder.
Man 1: ok, step stool it is. - 3 steps to fix anything 1. Try duct tape, if that doesn't work, see 2
2. Try gorilla glue, if that doesn't work, see 3
3. Try J.B. Weld, if that doesn't work, C4 - Here are two steps to take if you are ever stuck on a desserted island. Step 1: Check spelling.
Step 2: If correct, enjoy. - Two easy steps to become a millionaire 1: Be a billionaire
2: Set up businesses in Russia - I am going for dancing lessons. We did the waltz yesterday and it was really hard.
I just feel like I'm always taking 2 steps forward and 1 back. - Steps to success: 1. Predict the end of the world.
2. Write a book about it.
3. Prophet?
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2 Step One Liners
Which 2 step one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with 2 step? I can suggest the ones about first step and 2 piece.
- Step 1: Be named Muhammed. Step 2: Get some followers. Step 3: Prophet.
- How to fall down stairs * Step 1
* Step 2
* Step 4
* Step 15 - How do you marry a country girl? Step 1: A tractor
Step 2: Fertilizer - How to fall down the stairs. Step 1.
Step 2.
Step 3.
Step 7.
Step 11.
Step 17. - Step 1: Walk on water. Step 2: Turn water into wine. Step 3: Prophet
- How to climb a ladder Step 1.
Step 2.
Step 3. - An official guide on how to walk up stairs: Step 1)
Step 2)
Step 3)
Step 4) - Step 1: Adopt a religion. Step 1: Adopt a religion.
Step 2: ????
Step 3: Prophet. - How to walk in 4 easy steps Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 4 - There are 2 simple steps to fool anyone. Step 1 - promise them a simple trick.
- Step 1: Name your dog miles. Step 2: Brag that you walk miles every day
- There are 2 steps to being successful 1. Do not reveal everything you know.
- Welcome to my 3 step programme on how to climb ladders Step 1
Step 2
Step 3 - Step 2. Profit Step 1. Time machine
- How to walk down stairs: Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 4
Step 5
Step 6
Step 7
Step 8
2 Step Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about 2 step you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean three step jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make 2 step pranks.
Step 1: Name your iPhone "Titanic."
Step 2: Plug it into your computer.
Step 3: When iTunes says "Titanic is syncing," press cancel.
Step 4: Feel like a hero.
Here's a step by step guide to walking up the stairs, step 1) Right foot, step 2) Left foot, step 3) Right foot...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Cuckoo Clock Mayhem
I was invited for dinner with my old friends.
I swore to my wife that I'd be back at midnight. She didn't believe me, but I still went there.
The meal was very tasty, time flied, my blood was already scarce compared to all of the alcohol and I was extremely drunk. At about 3 AM, I went back home. When I came in and closed the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall said "cuckoo" 3 times.
Quickly, thinking that my wife would wake up and have an argument with me, I said "cuckoo" 9 more times.
I was really proud of myself for having a great, quick idea, even while I was drunk, to avoid having a conflict with my wife.
The next morning, she asked me what time did I come back home and I said "midnight". She didn't seem to distrust me, not even a little.
Then she told me:
\- Honey, we need a new cuckoo for our clock!
When I asked her why, she said:
\- Well, this night the cuckoo said "cuckoo" 3 times and said "GAAAAAAH, I'M s**...!". It said "cuckoo" 4 more times, then he grunted and belched. It said "cuckoo" 3 more times, f**..., crazily laughed and said "cuckoo" 2 more times. Then, it hit the door I left ajar and said "SON OF A B\*\*CH!", stepped on the cat and said "SH\*T!" and only went to bed after falling twice while taking off his clothes. Don't you think we'd better get a new cuckoo while it's still under the warranty?
Italian Pregnancy
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says,
'Who wasa the pig that did this to you? I want to know!'
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house.
A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them:
'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.
I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge.
I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse,
a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account...
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.
If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each..
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'
At this point, the father, who had remained silent holding a shotgun, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder, looks him directly in the eyes and tells him
"You a gonna try again!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to test for Happiness as a Man (This really works!)
Step 1: Lock your partner & dog into a trunk of a car.
Step 2: Wait an Hour.
Step 3: Open Trunk.
Step 4: Note which one is happier to see you.
An Irish Thanksgiving.!
Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JD
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16: Floor the turkey up off the pick
Step 17: Turk the carvey
Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Father Knows Best!
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drug store and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant! Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning; your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be two factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they each will receive a factory and $2,000,000.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You f*** her again."
A Firefighter, a Sheriff, and a Paramedic are trying to get into heaven...
St. Peter greets them and tells them regardless of their heroic acts, they'll need to be able to count to ten to get into heaven.
The Sheriff goes first. He hauls out his Colt .45 and counts the shots, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... Let me try again!" So he reloads, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... Nope, I only got 7 shots."
So the Paramedic steps up, "I can do this." He gets into CPR position, "1 and, 2 and, 3 and, 4 and, 5... 1 and, 2 and, 3 and, 4 and, 5... Nope, CPR only goes in rounds of five."
The firefighter reluctantly goes next... "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10"
"That's amazing!" St. Peter declares, "You're the first all week. Can you count any higher?"
"Sure, 10, jack, queen, king."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Brain Implant
Two brain-scientists are having an heated argument about wether or not having a brain implant that will explode when you say something s**... would benefit anyone:
Scientist #1:
"It would pressure them to think before they say something, thus making the amount of s**... things they say decrease."
Scientist #2:
"No it wouldn't. If they are already s**..., the implant would not aid them in the decision making process of wether something is s**... or not, thus not helping."
Seeing as they were not going to agree, they decided to put this theory to the test. They look through state high-school drop-out records until they think they have found somebody who would meet the requirements of this test. They contact him and explain the test their predicament and are astounded when agrees to have surgery.
After the surgery, the two scientists walk up the steps to the ICU. They find the patient in a hospital bed, playing on his phone.
Scientist #1:
"How do you feel?"
The man chooses his words carefully. After about 10 seconds of waiting, he replies
Man:
"I'm alright. I have quite the head ache though."
Scientist #1
"As expected. Do you have any concerns about the device?"
The man, after carefully choosing his words again replies:
"Yes."
He stops for a moment.
"Can it kill me?"
Boom.
Sorry if you didn't like it. It is one of my first jokes.
Lose 7 pounds in 3 days with this one weird trick!
Step 1. Purchase mayonnaise.
Step 2. Leave mayonnaise in the sun for 5 hours. Let it really bake.
Step 3. Eat a couple spoon fulls of the mayo.
Step 4. Lose AT LEAST 7 pounds over the next 3 days!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Mothers Are Sitting Together At An Outdoor Café In Baghdad...
**Mother 1**: [*pulls out picture from purse*] "This is my son Abdullah. He would have been 25 now, but, alas... he became a martyr."
**Mother 2**: "Ah, yes I remember when he lost his first tooth..."
[*sighs*]
**Mother 1**: [*pulls out another picture*] "This is my son Hussein. He would have been 22 now, but, alas... he became a martyr."
**Mother 2**: "Ah, yes. I remember when he took his first steps..."
[*deep sigh*]
**Mother 1**: [*pulls out yet another picture*] "This is my son Muhammed. He would have been 18 now, but, alas... he became a martyr."
**Mother 2**: "Ah, yes. I remember when he was born..."
[*deepest sigh*]
"You know, they blow up so fast!"
The pope dies and goes to heaven
He arrives at the pearly gates of heaven and meets Saint Peter. Saint Peter asks "What is your name?". The pope, expecting a warm welcome, reacts surprised. "I'm the pope!", he says. St Peter looks into his book but cannot find an entry for the pope. "I'm the head of catholic church, surely you must know me!" says the pope. St Peter doublechecks but can't find anything at all. The pope insists he should be more than welcome in heaven, so after a while, St Peter says "wait a second, I'll go get God".
God arrives and takes a look at the pope, but he doesn't recognise him either. The pope tries to explain his position as leader of the church on earth, but God just doesn't seem to understand much of it. He decides to get his son Jesus, maybe he knows more.
Jesus and the pope step aside and talk for a minute or 2. Then, a smiling Jesus goes back to God and says "Dad, do you remember that fishing club I had 2000 years ago? It still exists!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a woman makes an appointment to see her doctor...
She goes to the doctor's office and during the examination she says,
"Doctor, I've got a problem that i am deeply concerned about. I keep f**... all the time, they don't smell or make a sound but I am constantly f**... all the time, in fact I've f**... 15 times since you've stepped in the room to exam me, I'm very worried that there is something wrong with me."
the doctor writes her a prescription and says,
"take 2 of these a day and see me in a week"
The woman comes back in a week and says,
"these pills aren't helping, in fact I'm even worse, I'm still f**... all the time, they still don't make any noise, but now they smell horrible"
the doctor says "good, we've cleared up your sinuses, now let's work on your hearing"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Childish immature jokes are the best
* Step 1: say "eye"
* Step 2: spell the word "map"
* Step 3: say "nus"
* Now say that all together...
2 guys are playing golf...
John tees off and makes it to the green. George steps up and sets a ball on the tee that looks unlike any ball John has ever seen so he asks, "whoa, what kind of ball is that?" "Oh, this ball is great" George replies, "if you hit it in the water it floats, if you hit it in a sandtrap it blinks, and if u hit it in the rough, it beeps... its great, you can't lose it!" ..."Wow, sounds awesome!" John says, "so where did you get it?"... George, getting ready to tee off says: "I found it".
How to cook a turkey
Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Turkey Dinner Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JD
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Cup of Beer Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Alcoholic Beverage Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Bottle of Wine Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16: Floor the turkey up off the pick
Step 17: Turk the carvey
Turkey Dinner Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out!
Those cheap Beats headphones might be fakes! Here's how to tell.
Connect headphones to a decent audio source. Play any music. Listen closely to the music.
1. Note the nuances of the bass. Is it clean and well-defined?
2. Are the high frequencies nice and crisp?
3. Pay attention to the mid-range frequencies - are they balanced with the high and low frequencies?
If you answered YES to any of the above steps - sorry, you were ripped off!
2 beat cops call the crime branch on phone
Hello! Crime branch?
Yes.
This is sergeant John. We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean.
Have you arrested the woman?
No Sir! The floor is still wet!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
During World War 2, n**... invade a convent.
They yelled: " We are going to r**... every nun in this convent!" Mother Superior pleaded with the n**...: " You can r**... us all you want, but at the end of the hallway there is a room with a 100 year old nun in it. She is very sick and doesn't have long. Please leave her be."
All of a sudden the door at the end of the hall opens, and the old nun steps out yelling: "THE WAR IS ON FOR EVERYBODY!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... Training
Little Johnny was just being p**... trained and his mom tried this new method with 6 steps:
1. Unbutton pants
2. Pull pants down
3. Pull f**... back
4. Pee
5. Push f**... forward
6. Pull pants up and button up
She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny going 1,2,3,4,5,6 and she was thinking she did a good job.
Then she walked past the next day and heard him saying real fast 3-5,3-5,3-5...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mental Hospital [2]
One morning, a nurse was tasked to check on some their patients' progress and will send recommendations for release based on their improvement. She visited the recreation room where there were 4 patients.
**Patient One** was reading the bible. Complimented the patient and puts a check on the name.
**Patient Two** was working on a crossword puzzle, almost done. Check.
**Patient Three** was playing chess, keeping tabs of his moves, challenging himself. Check.
She comes to **Patient Four**, who was standing on the table, repeatedly shouting *"I AM THE SUN! I AM THE LIGHT!"*. The nurse asks the patient to step down from the table or else she'll have the guards take him away back to his room.
As soon as Patient Four steps down, the other three patients suddenly stopped what they were doing, went on their way and bid everyone in the room *"Goodnight!"*
Not-so lil Johnny anymore
Tired of Johnny's bed wetting, his mommy comes up with a way she could teach him to do it right by himself and so, she calls on Johnny, tells him the following set of steps to follow the next time he would pee. She told Johnny to shout the number out loud so that she could hear him from behind the door.
And the steps go like this
1 - Open the flier
2 - Hold it out and aim for the centre
3 - Pull the skin backwards and give it a gentle shake and pull it back forwards
4 - Put it back in the sack and close the flier
And within just a few weeks, she was happy that it was working quite well as she could hear johnny read the numbers out loud 1,2,3 and 4 until one fine day, when all she could hear Johnny say was
1,2,3,3,3,3,3,3,3,3,3,3.......
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Russia's Three Steps to Homework
Step 1. Putin it off
Step 2. Stalin
Step 3. Russian to finish
Step 1: Walk without rhythm, Step 2: Ride the worm
Step 3: Prophet
It's ironic that Russell Wilson and Ciara are dating
...to win the Super Bowl, all his team needed was 1 or 2 steps
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
NASA sends a r**... and a chimpanzee to the moon.
When the rocket lands on the moon's surface, the computer screen automatically switches itself on & the chimpanzee clicks on the desktop file that contains his instructions:-
1)....Ensure that rocket has landed at the correct co-ordinates and is anchored safely.
2)....Check ALL life support systems.
3)....Prepare laboratory for analysing samples.
4)....Put on space suit, step outside of rocket on to the surface, collect soil and rock samples, return to laboratory, conduct tests on samples and report back to Houston giving us your "best guess" as to whether or not the Moon is adequate for terraforming.
The chimp clicks out of his file & runs off to do his duties. The r**... then sits in front of the computer and clicks on *his* file:-
1)....Feed the chimpanzee.
Guide to Becoming Jesus
Step 1: Become Jesus.
Step 2: Prophet.
LPT: Step 1. Be attractive. Step 2. Don't be unattractive.
Step 1) Get a job selling punctuation marks.
Step 2) ??????
Step 3) Profit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to capture an elephant
step 1 dig a hole.
step 2 fill the hole with ash.
step 3 surround it with peas.
step 4 when the elephant comes to take a pea, you kick it in the ash hole!
Step 1: Have Android phone - Step 2: Say "Ok Google, what are people from Phoenix called?"
You're welcome
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's with all the clocks?
A man who recently died had a meeting with God. He was waiting outside, looking at a large wall of clocks outside his office. God stepped out to invite him inside.
**M:** Hey, what's with all these clocks?
**G:** Ah, this is the wall shows every lie everyone has ever told. The lies are represented by clocks. Every time someone tells a lie, the clock moves 1 minute.
**M:** Wow there's a lot of people up here. Look, George Washington's clock never moved! Mine is at 2:27.... Hmm. Hey, where's Donald Trump's clock?
**G:** Oh, I keep that in my office and use it as a fan!
Steps to success
1:speak with God
2:???
3:prophet
How to measure the perfect amount of pasta
Step 1: Measure out the perfect amount of pasta.
Step 2: Wrong.
How do you upgrade a Mac?
Step 1: Throw old Mac out of window.
Step 2: Buy new Mac.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to catch a polar bear:
Step 1: cut a hole in the ice.
Step 2: set a can of peas opened and in front of it.
Step 3: When the bear comes to take a pea kick it in the ice hole.
Two step program to become a millionaire in less than a year!
1. Become billionaire.
2. Get married.
How to make a girl furious in 2 steps...
Step 1, take a picture of her
Step 2, don't show it to her
3 Steps to being a good Programmer
1. Avoid recursion
2. Repeat steps 1 and 2.
3. Always have an exit condition.
4. Beware of being off by one.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The FBI made a big m**... bust recently.
The took the approximately 2 tons of w**... to a landfill and had it incinerated. However, the EPA stepped in and showed concern for the multitude of seagulls flying overhead. You know what their study discovered? That there was no tern left unstoned.
How to tumble down stairs
step 1
step 2
step 3
step 5
step 9, 13
ground
How to be depressed
Step 1. Go to 1973 and sell 10% shares of apple for $800
Step 2. Realise those 10% is worth $43 billion nowadays.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to start a fight on Internet in two steps
1. Express your opinion.
2. Wait.
5 easy steps for eating healthier today
1. Go to kitchen
2. Look around in search of healthy snack
3. See cake sitting on counter
4. Eat all of it
5. Leave kitchen
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Step 1: create arcane religion
Step 2: build followers
Step 3: prophet
How to Steal a Car in 3 Steps 🚙
1) Go to New Jersey
2) Remove pants
3) Shout "Can I borrow someone's khakis?"
How to Fall Down Stairs as a Mathematician
Step 1.
Step 1.
Step 2.
Step 3.
Step 5.
Step 8.
Step 13.
Step 21.
Step 34.
Step 55.
Police were on the lookout for serial killer John Wayne Gacy
They stepped into a corner store for some coffee and saw a guy in back where the milk cartons are.
Cop 1: "Hey, that looks like our suspect!"
Cop 2: "What's he doing?"
Cop 1: "Talking to himself. Let's get closer."
So they go up right behind him and listen.
Gacy:"Need him. Got him. Got him. Got him. Need him. Got him...."
How to climb stairs in two simple steps.
Step 1
Step 2: Repeat step 1
A man robs a bank to get away from his wife...
As he sat on the steps of the bank waiting for the police to come he was relieved with thoughts of never having to see his wife again.
Later In the court room waiting for his ruling, he was excited to finally be somewhere far far away from her.
Seeing this the judge thought of the worst possible sentence that he can give him.
He was given 2 years house arrest.
3 years ago during my first reservists training
I am from Singapore and all relatively healthy males need to serve the army for 2 years and 10 reservist cycles
During my first reservists, many of our combat boots start to fall apart due to the adhesive hardening up and breaking apart, thus many of us have to walk to the store to purchase new boots while wearing the boots that were disintegrating with every step
There is only 1 route and it is a walk by the road, and many boots do not hold itself together long enough to reach the store
I call this road
*The road of lost soles*
When I was young, I couldn't differentiate my ma and my step-ma
But now I understand that I have 2 relative extra ma's
Step 1: Die
Step 2: Be resurrected
Step 3: ????
Step 4: Prophet
How to create an infinite loop in 2 easy steps!
Step 1: Step 2
Step 2: Step 1
Apparently 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce...
So if your dad hasn't been divorced, your step-dad probably has.
Step 1. Predict the Sun will rise in the morning
Step 2. ???
Step 3. Prophet
They say to always follow your gut
Your mom must be pretty intuitive, her gut is always 2 steps ahead of her
Guide: How to fall down the stairs
Step 1
Step 2
Step 6, 7, 8, 11
A comedian shares his secrets for success
"Step 1, always leave your audience wanting more"
"Step 2..."
What is the hardest step in a hackers career ?
2 step verification.
How to start a fiscally successful church:
Step 1: Learn how to converse with your God
Step 2: Do That
Step 3: Prophet!!!
For an introductory guide on how to talk to your God please send 9.99 to my church address. Email for details.
Step 1: Marry your first wife.
Step 2: Marry ten more wives.
Step 3: Prophet!
If there are 1000 bricks on a plane and one falls off, how many are on the plane?
999
How many steps does it take to put a alligator in a fridge?
3 steps:
1. Open fridge door
2. Put alligator in fridge
3. Close fridge door
How many steps does it take to put a giraffe in a fridge?
4 steps:
1. Open fridge door
2. Take alligator out of fridge
3. Put giraffe in fridge
4. Close fridge door
The Lion King is having a birthday party. The giraffe doesn't come. Why?
He's still stuck in the fridge
Sally is trying to cross an alligator-infested river, yet she managed to cross it unscathed. How?
All the alligators were still at the Lion King's birthday party
Sally died anyway. Why?
A brick fell on her head
A one-legged man walks into a tech-support store...
...and tells the man "I can't get past this 2-step authentication!"
How to get laid in 3 simple steps
* Lay on your bed
* Wait 2 hours
* Lay becomes past tense
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to fall down the stairs
Step 1
Step 2
Step 4,6,9,13,18,24
My friend is a recovering alcoholic dancer from Texas
His nickname was 2 step-12 step.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to catch a polar bear
Step 1 go and carve a hole in ice.
Step 2 get a can of peas and pour the peas around the hole.
Step 3 when the polar bears goes to take a pea, kick it in the ice hole.
Step 1: Listen to gods commandments Step 2: ???
Step 3: Prophet